Chapter 7: I'll Live



Here's to... love! He slurred as he took another drink from a bottle in his quarters, seated in his comfy chair with his feet kicked up on the table. John Crichton was doing his very best to drown his sorrows.

He was quite drunk, consuming some vile green looking alien alcohol that D'Argo purchased on their last stop on some nameless commerce planet. It was bought as a gift for his Human friend. If he were on Earth, he'd probably be drinking a beer instead of this alien stuff but being in the Uncharted Territories he had to make do with what he could find. The Luxan alcohol was said to be a popular drink, but although it's effects were relaxing...the aftertaste left something to be desired.

Raising the bottle, he gestured as if making a toast to a imaginary crowd. To Aeryn Sun... you took me to Heaven as well as Hell, and for what it's worth... I'd do it all over again because I'm a rather fool for love than just a fool.

He wiped a tear away before taking another large gulp from the bottle.

Ah! Poor John, lost the love of his life once more Again! I think you suffered less in the aurora chair than dating Aeryn.

I'm not listening Harvey. John growled to the Scorpius clone seated across from him, popping out to taunt him again. He was dressed in his usual all leather nightmare attire while holding a picture of Aeryn Sun.

Why do you put up with her John. She treats... What do you call them on Earth. Oh, yes. Doormats! She treats doormats with better respect.

GO TO HELL! John shouted. Harvey knew how to push John's buttons. As his imaginary tormentor melted away, he heard someone knocking at his door.

John, are you okay?

It was Sheba. John didn't want to see anyone right now. Go away.

Unfortunately, she pushed through the curtains, ignoring his wish. I came to see you and I thought I heard you talking to someone?

What part of go away' did you not understand? John sighed.

Sheba walked over to him, shocked. Are you drunk?

Yeah and now I'm working my way up to getting wasted.

What happened?

Well, since you're here, you can be my drinking partner. John made a gesture to a nearby chair. Pull up a seat and I'll tell you.

Grabbing a chair, she sat next to him. John thrust the bottle at her.

No thanks.

John insisted. Trust me, after I'm done telling my life story, you'll be needing it.

With a doubtful look, she accepted the bottle, and took a sip. The nasty taste hit her like a rock. She fought the urge to spit out the foul liquid across the room.

Lords of Kobol, it's awful!

It's Luxan wine. Give it a chance, it'll grow on you. John joked. He enjoyed watching her trying to down the alien liquor.

So do warts. Sheba answered. To her surprise, after swallowing it, it went down easier and had a nice numbing effect.

You're a beautiful woman Sheba. John said, eyeing her appreciatively as she took another sip from the bottle.

Really, John. Sheba said rolling her eyes. I heard that from a lot of guys, try something more original.

Sure. Do you have any sisters? John winked, as Sheba glanced at him in surprise. Just trying to make conservation.

Does everyone on Earth behave like you?

No, some of us even have proper table matters.

Sheba just watched the weird man from Earth and handed the bottle back to John who took another swig from it.

Tell me John. I had a talk with Aeryn and she told me that she lost someone close to her but she refused to say little else. Can you tell me what happened between her and this person?

For several seconds, John grew silent. He handed the bottle back to her, finally saying. She lost me, or more accurately, my clone.

The Colonial warrior laughed, taking another drink. You are drunk.

Oh, God, I wish I was. John said fighting back growing tears as he spoke. To know that she had a life, something special with my clone that I'll never have with her. To know that she's in such pain that... I... She barely acknowledges my existence now. I can't help her because she won't let me.

Sheba stared in surprise and slowly handed the bottle back to him. You're not joking!

Like I said... Holding the bottle, John took another swallow. ... I wished that I was.

How... How did that happen?

I'll give you the short version. John leaned over close to Sheba and whispered as if he were telling a secret. You see, this poor SOB went and unexpectedly got a clone made of himself. So Aeryn got stuck with one on Talyn and the other one, me, stayed back on Moya. And the clone that Aeryn was with, became incredibly close to her. Later he suffered radiation poisoning saving their lives and died in Aeryn's arms. Now she's back on Moya and want's nothing to do with me. She sees me as the clone now and nothing more but a painful reminder.

That's horrible. Sheba knows what it is like to see someone die by radiation poisoning and this wild love triangle was confusing to say the least.

John took another drink. I wish it had been me instead.

You don't mean that!

I do, John clutched the bottle tightly in his hand. At least Aeryn would be with him and happy. Besides, he was John Crichton, just as much as me.

Don't talk like that!

All I want is to see her happy again. John sighed. Is that so wrong?

Yes it is, when you start wishing yourself dead to accomplish it!

John shook his head. No, I'm not planning to kill myself, Sheba. My punishment in life is to keep on living.

The two Humans sat there silently. Sheba watched John polish off what was left of in the bottle and tossed it to the ground to the floor with a clatter. After a quiet moment John said.

Of all the women in my life she was the best. Aeryn has this voice that is strong but soothing. To see her walk was heavenly and her smile... Made me believe in Angels. Would you like to know the best part of her was?

Sheba wasn't sure if she wanted to know. What is that?

She was brutally honest. You didn't beat around the bush with her. You would bulldoze through it. I always knew where I stood with her.

You should go to bed, John. Sheba finally suggested, as the alcohol she consumed was starting to go to her head. You'll feel better in the morning.

Good idea but not just yet. John answered. You can go Sheba, I'll be fine.

Sheba stood up, and touched his shoulder. Just get some sleep, and take care of yourself Earthman.

John managed a smile. See you later, Calamity Jane.

The Colonial warrior shook her head at the John's bizarre behaviour. Halfway in leaving his quarters, she stopped and turned to him again. Are you sure you'll be alright?

John simply answered. I'll live.