Hanami – Chapter 15

            "Umm… sure, but you're gonna have to wait for another batch to perk."  Donnie gestured to the empty coffee pitcher.

            "Dude!  You drank all that?!"

            "Oh, just flip the bacon before it burns, will ya?" Counting the scoops Donnie shot his brother a look.  "It was only three cups.  Mr. Java here is hardly meant for hardcore coffee enthusiasts."

            Cabbage stole a piece of bacon.  "Oo!  Hot! Hot!"

            Mikey grinned, "If you waited for it to cool, you wouldn't have that problem."

            Raphael had slipped through the back door and snagged the other 3 strips of bacon.  Cabbage raised an eye-ridge, "If I waited for it to cool, I wouldn't have had that bacon."

            Raphael handed a piece to TwoSee, and spoke around a mouthful of bacon.  "You see Mike, she's catchin' on already."

            Mike wheeled around brandishing his spatula like the Swedish chef on acid.  "Ok! get OUT of the kitchen or SIT at the table!  RAPH! Put that biscuit back."

            "Wha' biscuit?" He passed half of it to TwoSee who was trying valiantly not to smile. 

            "Coffee's ready!" 

            "Great!  Com'mon sis!  It's time to go wake Frogger!"  Cabbage and TwoSee cackled and hurried from the room. 

            "Well, they've got me curious…" Raphael followed with Donatello and the coffee pot bring up the rear.

            "Ok, TwoSee, help me roll her over.  Be very careful of those knees.  Damn she's tall.  You take point.  I'll take containment."  Donatello and Raphael exchanged confused glances.

            "What exactly are you gonna do to her?"

            "Oh, you'll see, but I promise it won't hurt her and it won't make a mess."

            +"She'll just be madder then an ol' wet hen."+ 

            Donatello did a double take.  "Raph, did you just hear—"

            Raph shrugged, "So?"

            By this time the girls had taken up position.  TwoSee knelt by Frogger's side, while Cabbage straddled Frogger's thighs and placed her fingers carefully on four different points near her sister's hips.  "Hold on a minute TwoSee."  Frogger's body twitched slightly.  "Ok, found the pressure points.  Let her have it."  TwoSee launched an all-out tickle attack.  Frogger's eyes flew open and bugged out, she screamed with laughter, whooping and gasping for breath. "No-nonononononononno-hahahahahaa-goddamnyoubrattybitches-whahahawhaha-stopitstopitstopit-*gasp*-I'M AWAKE-HOLYSHITYOUhahahahahAREhehehSOFUCKINGDEAD- *gasp*- I SAID I'M –whaahahahaha- AWAKE YOU FUCKERS!" 

            Donatello and Raphael stared.  The screaming had brought Leonardo, Mike and Splinter from the kitchen.  Though the whole scene practically redefined 'bizarre' in Donatello's mind, one detail stood out.  Frogger hadn't moved.  Sure she was jerking her head about and screaming, but she never tried to knock Cabbage off or to block TwoSee's attack.

            +"I believe her,"+ with that TwoSee aborted her attack and retreated. 

            Frogger watched her go with eyes like daggers, "Yeah, that's right you run!"  She directed her death-ray stare at Cabbage and bared her teeth.  "As for you, you're gonna have to let go some time and when you do, I'm gonna rip your tonsils out through your ass."

            Cabbage flashed her dimples.  "Who's ever-just the most itsy-bitsy-bit cranky in da morn-ning?  You-hoo!"  She held her ground and her smile.  "You are my sunshine/ My only sunshine/ You make me happy/ When skies are grey!…  Well, sister of my heart, I have two reasons that you should leave my tonsils in place.  Number 1:  I made sure there was coffee for you.  It's hot and black and thick as tar, just the way you like it."  She broke eye contact, and nodded for Donatello to approach with Frogger's coffee.  "Number 2:  One word: Donatello."

            Frogger saw the coffee mug.  Then she saw the coffee mug bearer.  She blinked.  Cabbage pulled her hands away and sprinted for TwoSee.  She turned just in time to watch Donnie and Frogger lock gazes.  She nudged TwoSee, "Am I good or what?"