DISCLAIMER: twinkle twinkle little bee, Harry Potter belongs not to me. Buzz buzz.
Word of advice: do not eat seven pixy stix in a row and then wash it down with red cordial and a blue ice block. You will regret it. *smiles knowingly*
NEED TO KNOW: Peter has been killed by the giant squid. I don't like him, so you'll get over it won't you? Everyone was very sad, but now they're over him, none of them having liked him much anyway. I know that's a bit OOC for loyal James, but it's MY fanfiction, and you can't do anything 'bout it! *pouts* So in this fic anyway, MWPP has become MPP kay? *winks*
***
"Why my dear Lily, what else would I be doing here?" The voice, scornful and amused, belonged to none other then a younger, and much uglier Severus Snape.
"I am not your dear Lily," she spat out again. "Go away and leave me alone."
"Ah, but that would take all the fun out of life, wouldn't it?" Lily looked up to find him staring at her, his eyes full of malicious laughter. "Now, you see, Lily, there's one thing I've always wanted to do…"
He leaned in closer. Lily shuddered, and wondered if she could just give him a good hard kick in the…er…knee, and run.
"GO Snape. Now." The voice held no room for bargaining. Lily looked up with relief only to find Sirius, James and Remus standing at the door coolly, their wands outstretched.
He straightened up. "Well, if it isn't the Marauders minus one! I'll find you one day, dear Lily. And these goons won't be around to protect you." He shot the three boys murderous glances, and swept out of the room.
Lily leaned back into her chair, closing her eyes and shaking a little bit. The boys exchanged glances and made their way over to her. "Uh, Lils, he didn't do anything… did he?" asked James.
"No," she said quietly. Her expression brightened a bit. "Though if he did, I'd have been able to kick him, right?"
They all laughed, and sensing Lily was ok, they leaned back and began their favourite pastime; plotting and talking about Snape.
"Snape wouldn't be able to pull a good prank on us if his life depended on it, and I'm thankful for that after what we're going to do to him at the Halloween dinner!" said Remus, chuckling.
Sirius made a face. "Snape? Good prank?" he asked incredulously. "Snape wouldn't know a magnificent prank if it painted itself neon rainbow and danced round on his desk naked shouting, 'I'm a magnificent prank you great thunderous ninny!'" He shook his head.
James grinned. "Guess he just doesn't have it like we do, right fellas?"
"You boys…" Lily said rolling her eyes.
"Are they most wonderful bunch of human beings ever to grace this planet, we know, we know," said Sirius nonchalantly.
"Oh shut up."
***
James walked into the great hall grinning. "Tonight is our night, boys," he said, draping his arms over the shoulders of the other two marauders. They ran in and took seats closet to the Slytherin table, where they were sure to see all the action. James craned his head over to the Ravenclaw table. Upon seeing Lily, he winked, and she waved backed in return. Satisfied, he leaned back into his chair and watched the students come in and seat themselves around the hall.
When everyone was settled into the hall, Dumbledore stood up.
"I would like to welcome you all to this year's Hallo—"
But he was caught short by a distraction over at the Slytherin table.
Severus Snape had climbed onto the table.
"Now!" Remus whispered under his breath. In unison they discreetly lifted their wands and muttered under their breath.
Snape, who before had sported dark robes, now was clad in a ruffled pink and white skirt and top, making him look like a strawberry sundae with whipped cream. Which completely matched his neon pink curly hair.
Oblivious to everyone's laughter, he began prancing up and down the table, swishing his skirt back and forth, twirling and pirouetting on the spot.
Then, he began to sing.
I am a slimy git,
I need to wash my
hair!
I'm so mean, dirty
and mean,
And I don't care!
I'm bad at
Potions,
At everything I
do!
I'm really bad at
pranks,
I suck at
everything I do!
At that James and Remus turned to Sirius with identical looks of disgust. He just shrugged innocently. "Thanks very much Snapey! Didn't know you felt that way!" he cried out over to the Slytherin table. At this, he began to go into a sort of little jig, bouncing about causing his skirt to lift and bounce. Prancing about the table, he was still unaware to the laughter and scorn.
He finished with a yell, causing many to block their ears, and ended up on his knees.
"Now?" They nodded in agreement, and took the spell off.
Snape took one look down at his dress and—
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"
"And I thought only James could scream like a girl," Sirius said calmly, earning him a slap across the head.
They joined in the clapping and cheering as Snape ran out of the hall, a terrified expression on his face.
Lily and Kiki came over to them, laughing hysterically. "Wonderful! That was great!" Lily cried.
"Hey guys, we're going to get caught anyway, might as well take credit for it!" cried James to the other two. This resulted in the three of them climbing up onto the table themselves, and bowing until Lily and Kiki dragged them off.
***
"That song was terrible, you know."
"Yeah, but who cares? It got the point across!"
"—Sirius—"
"—Remus—"
"Will you two ever SHUT UP!"
"No."
"No."
"I give up."
James, Sirius and Remus were sitting in the common room, late at night, reliving the dinner. Even armed with three detentions each, their spirits couldn't be dampened.
Even Kiki and Lily were there, laughing with them.
"Well," said Lily, scrunching her nose. "I think my goal this year is to embarrass Snape more than the past few combined."
Everyone nodded gravely at this. To the group of five, there was no higher goal.
"Mine," Sirius added solemnly. "Is to beat the record of most detentions held in one year."
"Sirius!" Kiki, sitting in his lap, sat bolt upright at this. "If you spend all your time in detention, when will I get to see you?" she said, pretending to be hurt.
"Oh, I'm sure we can figure out something…"
Lily turned away from the busy couple, to talk to Remus and James.
"Anyway," she started.
"Hmmm?" they answered, engrossed in the fire and toasting marshmallows.
"Forget it," she said, turning away. "I'll see you in the morning. Kiki?"
There was no answer from her occupied friend. She sighed, and made her way to the Ravenclaw dormitory, where she spent most of the night sitting, and looking out her window at the lake, shining and sparkling under the light of the moon.
***
So… will Lily figure out what's bothering her? What will Snape's revenge be? And when will Sirius and Kiki disentangle themselves? In chapter 5 you'll find out…
This chapter was just a light, funny one. It wasn't meant to be serious, and if you look in the author's notes, you'll see why!
I've decided to be nice…no cliffhanger this time…
Please review, I love hearing what people have to say. But please do not review of you are going to flame, it helps no one. If you can't say anything nice, then please say nothing at all. Thanks.
Does anyone want anything special to happen? If so just add it into your reviews! Thanks guys! J