Dr. Laurence sat in the chair in front of her. He wrote something on
his pad and looked up. Seaja Boscorelli was pale, thin and jonesing for a
cigarette. He reached in his pocked and pulled out a pack and handed it to
her.
"I quit."
"When?"
"Last night."
"You can't just quit cold turkey after the last couple of months."
"I want to try. The booze, the cigarettes. I need to."
"Punnishing yourself isn't the answer."
"I'm not. I just want to get healthey again. For me and for my family."
"What went though your mind the day you left?"
"I wanted Bosco to believe me when I told him that I didn't know I was pregnant but he truned his back on me." Seajae looked down at her feet. "He never turned his back on me ever. Even after the worst fights."
"Did you fight a lot?"
"Hardly ever. We would always work it out. Then after Sully was shot, everything we talked about ended in a fight."
"Why do you think that was?"
"I was scared if I let him see me weak he wouldn't love me any more."
"You have this all figured out don't you Seajae?"
"Twenty odd days with time to think you can figure a lot out."
"Maurice loves you weak or strong. You should of figured that out."
"Well nobodies perfect. We've both been dominate in the realationship when we have to but neither has had to be strong for the other. Except with Mueller."
"The man who killed your family?"
"Bosco carried me out of the fire on that one. He was there to protect me every step of the way. He saved me. I didn't want him to have to be that strong for me again. It nearly broke him. I couldn't live with myself of I did that to him again."
"That's what love is. Leaning on each other. Good times and bad."
"I know that now. I just didn't want to hurt him anymore."
"Don't you think you hurt him by running away?"
"Yeah." Seajae looked at Dr. Laurence. "More then I think he can forgive."
"Why do you say that."
"Could you forgive me?"
"If I loved you the way Maurice loves you, yes."
"I have been nothing but trouble since the day I got here. Between serial killers and building blowing up. It's been one thing after another. How can he love me when everything I touch ends in tragity."
"What about Angel. She's not a tragity. What about the way Maurice has matured and grown since you came into his life. His live was tragity before you, not after. And then there's Faith. If not for you she wouldn't be the happist woman on earth. I'm quating Maurice there. And Jimmy, Kim and Joey. They're a family again because you told Jimmy to piss or get off the pot more then once, again a Maurice quote. Do I need to go on?"
"I'm getting the point." She stood up on shaky legs.
"Angela Boscorelli....John Sullivan...Tatianna Sullivan...Emily and Charlie Yokas. Seajae for a woman who hadn't know love till three years ago you've surpast any expectaitions of becoming a functioning human being. You've made these people part of your life and for that they are better people then before they met you." There were tears in her eyes.
"How do you know...they all may hate me now."
"How can any of them hate you? You brought a ray of Sunshine into their lives. You touched their hearts. You can't just start hating someone who affects you like that."
"How do you know." He threw a file on the table between them.
"Life before Seajae Marie McBride." He threw a smaller file next to is. "One year in Maurice Boscorelli's life. The year he met you." Laurence pointed to the large file. "The three years you've been in his life." He pointed to the smaller folder. "Incedent reports filed agaist him." He opened the smaller file and it was empty. "Do you need more because I have it."
"Where is this going Doc?"
"It's going to where you need to be. You are a woman who never in twenty some odd years of life felt loved, wanted or needed. And when you became all these things it became a little hard to swollow. It'll happen. You need to know when things get tough, you need to realize that the tree bends both ways. They lean on you, you can lean on them."
"I just feel so....weak if I do that. I never needed anybody."
"Well get used to it because these people need you. They love you unconditionally. "
"How did you get so wise?"
"Lot's of reaserach and about a hundred grand in collage loans?" Seajae smiled. He could see what Maurice saw in her. "I'm always here to talk if you feel things are getting too much. But your husband wants you to talk to him. Together you can climb mountians, or crash into them. It's up to you."
"Thanks Doc."
"Hey I'll go sign some papers and get you sprung from this place." He got up. "Stay away from the guilt. No one around her blames you for anything. I've never seen a group of people pull together like they did to find you. People would kill to have that kind of love in there lives."
"No guilt." She sat on the bed and closed her eyes, waiting for Bosco to take her home. She smile. 'HOME' she like the sound of that.
"I quit."
"When?"
"Last night."
"You can't just quit cold turkey after the last couple of months."
"I want to try. The booze, the cigarettes. I need to."
"Punnishing yourself isn't the answer."
"I'm not. I just want to get healthey again. For me and for my family."
"What went though your mind the day you left?"
"I wanted Bosco to believe me when I told him that I didn't know I was pregnant but he truned his back on me." Seajae looked down at her feet. "He never turned his back on me ever. Even after the worst fights."
"Did you fight a lot?"
"Hardly ever. We would always work it out. Then after Sully was shot, everything we talked about ended in a fight."
"Why do you think that was?"
"I was scared if I let him see me weak he wouldn't love me any more."
"You have this all figured out don't you Seajae?"
"Twenty odd days with time to think you can figure a lot out."
"Maurice loves you weak or strong. You should of figured that out."
"Well nobodies perfect. We've both been dominate in the realationship when we have to but neither has had to be strong for the other. Except with Mueller."
"The man who killed your family?"
"Bosco carried me out of the fire on that one. He was there to protect me every step of the way. He saved me. I didn't want him to have to be that strong for me again. It nearly broke him. I couldn't live with myself of I did that to him again."
"That's what love is. Leaning on each other. Good times and bad."
"I know that now. I just didn't want to hurt him anymore."
"Don't you think you hurt him by running away?"
"Yeah." Seajae looked at Dr. Laurence. "More then I think he can forgive."
"Why do you say that."
"Could you forgive me?"
"If I loved you the way Maurice loves you, yes."
"I have been nothing but trouble since the day I got here. Between serial killers and building blowing up. It's been one thing after another. How can he love me when everything I touch ends in tragity."
"What about Angel. She's not a tragity. What about the way Maurice has matured and grown since you came into his life. His live was tragity before you, not after. And then there's Faith. If not for you she wouldn't be the happist woman on earth. I'm quating Maurice there. And Jimmy, Kim and Joey. They're a family again because you told Jimmy to piss or get off the pot more then once, again a Maurice quote. Do I need to go on?"
"I'm getting the point." She stood up on shaky legs.
"Angela Boscorelli....John Sullivan...Tatianna Sullivan...Emily and Charlie Yokas. Seajae for a woman who hadn't know love till three years ago you've surpast any expectaitions of becoming a functioning human being. You've made these people part of your life and for that they are better people then before they met you." There were tears in her eyes.
"How do you know...they all may hate me now."
"How can any of them hate you? You brought a ray of Sunshine into their lives. You touched their hearts. You can't just start hating someone who affects you like that."
"How do you know." He threw a file on the table between them.
"Life before Seajae Marie McBride." He threw a smaller file next to is. "One year in Maurice Boscorelli's life. The year he met you." Laurence pointed to the large file. "The three years you've been in his life." He pointed to the smaller folder. "Incedent reports filed agaist him." He opened the smaller file and it was empty. "Do you need more because I have it."
"Where is this going Doc?"
"It's going to where you need to be. You are a woman who never in twenty some odd years of life felt loved, wanted or needed. And when you became all these things it became a little hard to swollow. It'll happen. You need to know when things get tough, you need to realize that the tree bends both ways. They lean on you, you can lean on them."
"I just feel so....weak if I do that. I never needed anybody."
"Well get used to it because these people need you. They love you unconditionally. "
"How did you get so wise?"
"Lot's of reaserach and about a hundred grand in collage loans?" Seajae smiled. He could see what Maurice saw in her. "I'm always here to talk if you feel things are getting too much. But your husband wants you to talk to him. Together you can climb mountians, or crash into them. It's up to you."
"Thanks Doc."
"Hey I'll go sign some papers and get you sprung from this place." He got up. "Stay away from the guilt. No one around her blames you for anything. I've never seen a group of people pull together like they did to find you. People would kill to have that kind of love in there lives."
"No guilt." She sat on the bed and closed her eyes, waiting for Bosco to take her home. She smile. 'HOME' she like the sound of that.