Do These Robes Make Me Look Fat?
And many other feminine queries and qualms of Lord Voldemort.
Voldie pulled on a pink silk bathrobe and slipped into fluffy pink bunny slippers. He skipped down the hall after Wormtail still humming "Whenever, Wherever" by Shakira. When they finally reached the spa room, Voldie said:
"You know maybe this room needs new curtains, I mean the Venetian blinds were great but I feel that this room needs something lacy and fluffy." Voldie said thoughtfully.
"Well sir what kind of tea do you want today?" Wormtail asked, uncomfortable that his murderous master was worried about curtains.
"Um... Citrus Lime, you know its vapors are great for opening pores."
"No I didn't know."
"Before you go, can you bring me my copy of Witch Weekly?"
"Absolutely." Said Wormtail, why can't he read The Dark Community Chronicle like any other self respecting Death Eater?
"Well I don't have all day; I still have to have my toes painted, my leg hair permed and my chest waxed." Snapped Voldie impatiently.
"Yes sir right away sir." Cried Wormtail scuttling off to get Voldie's tea.
Voldie picked up Witch Weekly and saw none other Harry Potter. He shrieked happily and got up and danced around. Wormtail came flying back in to see Voldie shaking his ass, while humming "I See You Baby Shaking That Ass..."
"Guess who's on the cover of Witch Weekly!" Voldie cried hysterically, oddly reminiscent of an N*Sync crazed thirteen year old girl.
"Harry Potter." mumbled Wormtail, knowing that only the boy who lived could make Voldie that happy.
"You peeked you bloody fool. Get over here and file my toenails."Voldie muttered the excitement ebbing away.
"What color polish would you like sir?" Asked Wormtail in a business like manner.
"Ummm... I think bright red with sparkles." Said Voldie thoughtfully.
"Ok sir." Wormtail said.
As Wormtail filed and painted Voldie read Witch Weekly cover to cover, and while he read the interview with Harry he giggled and said: "Harry Potter, such a clever and handsome boy!" every few lines.
"Wormtail, go get my robes ready for the Death Eater's Ball. They have to be extra beautiful, so Lucius will want to dance with me. While you do that I'll take a nap." Said Voldemort, thoroughly exhausted after the afternoon of primping.
A/N next chapter Voldie will attend the Death Eaters Ball. Maybe a romance...
Disclaimer: These characters are J.K. Rowling's and not mine. I am making no money off this story.
PLEASE R/R!!!!!!!
And many other feminine queries and qualms of Lord Voldemort.
Voldie pulled on a pink silk bathrobe and slipped into fluffy pink bunny slippers. He skipped down the hall after Wormtail still humming "Whenever, Wherever" by Shakira. When they finally reached the spa room, Voldie said:
"You know maybe this room needs new curtains, I mean the Venetian blinds were great but I feel that this room needs something lacy and fluffy." Voldie said thoughtfully.
"Well sir what kind of tea do you want today?" Wormtail asked, uncomfortable that his murderous master was worried about curtains.
"Um... Citrus Lime, you know its vapors are great for opening pores."
"No I didn't know."
"Before you go, can you bring me my copy of Witch Weekly?"
"Absolutely." Said Wormtail, why can't he read The Dark Community Chronicle like any other self respecting Death Eater?
"Well I don't have all day; I still have to have my toes painted, my leg hair permed and my chest waxed." Snapped Voldie impatiently.
"Yes sir right away sir." Cried Wormtail scuttling off to get Voldie's tea.
Voldie picked up Witch Weekly and saw none other Harry Potter. He shrieked happily and got up and danced around. Wormtail came flying back in to see Voldie shaking his ass, while humming "I See You Baby Shaking That Ass..."
"Guess who's on the cover of Witch Weekly!" Voldie cried hysterically, oddly reminiscent of an N*Sync crazed thirteen year old girl.
"Harry Potter." mumbled Wormtail, knowing that only the boy who lived could make Voldie that happy.
"You peeked you bloody fool. Get over here and file my toenails."Voldie muttered the excitement ebbing away.
"What color polish would you like sir?" Asked Wormtail in a business like manner.
"Ummm... I think bright red with sparkles." Said Voldie thoughtfully.
"Ok sir." Wormtail said.
As Wormtail filed and painted Voldie read Witch Weekly cover to cover, and while he read the interview with Harry he giggled and said: "Harry Potter, such a clever and handsome boy!" every few lines.
"Wormtail, go get my robes ready for the Death Eater's Ball. They have to be extra beautiful, so Lucius will want to dance with me. While you do that I'll take a nap." Said Voldemort, thoroughly exhausted after the afternoon of primping.
A/N next chapter Voldie will attend the Death Eaters Ball. Maybe a romance...
Disclaimer: These characters are J.K. Rowling's and not mine. I am making no money off this story.
PLEASE R/R!!!!!!!