The Diary of Merry:
Day One:
Oi! Hello! I'm Merry! Me and a few of my hobbit friends have been placed on this island for 30 days. Pip and I have already developed a hunger. That's why we sent Bilbo out to look for food. Hope he comes back with pints and mushrooms! Sam is watching Frodo write in his diary… that must be annoying.
Day Eight:
Well, Bilbo found some food. Kiwis and bananas I believe. They're good! Me and Pip ate a bunch of them. Frodo and Sam don't like it when we eat a lot… oh well, their problems. We can't get fatter than Sam anyway. Oh that was so cruel, I'm sorry Sam! Oh yes! Frodo was eating wood the other day. Quite funny might I say. It's the first time I ever saw a hobbit nibbling on wood. Much less enjoy it. I told Frodo that I'd go out looking for a better place for us to stay at. He said the sand was too hot for his little feet. Oh please.
Day Thirteen:
Oh! I found a cave to stay in! It's quite nice. Very cozy. Except it's cold, and damp. But it's bearable for a while. We're almost halfway through this thing. I don't mind. It's not like we're going home after this anyway. We have to help Frodo finish his quest! It was nice seeing him and Sam again. Those stupid orcs got annoying. I'm glad the bad guys agreed to stop being evil for 30 days. Oh well.
Day Twenty:
Pippin and me put on a magic show the other day. All we did was eat food. Sure, it was a lame excuse, but we were hungry! Pippin was the assistant. Pippin even thought that the audience could see us chewing. Why would they watch us chew? It is that interesting? Hope not. Well, Sam and Frodo went fishing. They're pretty bad. Oi! I have a fish joke! Okay, okay, listen… what do you call a fish with no I?
A FSSHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hahahaha!!! Oh, that was good. Gotta love Patrick. Spongebob Square Pants is the best show ever!
Day Twenty Seven:
Frodo found some coconuts. They're pretty yummy. You just drink them. I'm still eating those kiwis though. We had to hide the food from Pippin. He kept eating it all. I think Frodo hid it under his pillow. Supposedly in a hole. I'll ask him about that later. Oh. Oh! Sam caught a good fish! Mr. Bilbo tried cooking it and he got sick. Wonder why Sam didn't cook? He's the chef around here…
Day Thirty!
Yes! We get to go home today! I just saw the weirdest thing too… Frodo running around screaming "I'M MAKING A GIFT BASKET! FULL OF FRUIT!" Wonder what he means… I hope he hasn't gone insane. Oh well! On with the quest!