The Memory of Left Behind
Chapter 11
Dedicated to My "Little" Duck
"Oh, my God," Miranda thought to herself. "This can't possibly get any worse."
Miranda's body tensed up even more when Ethan tried to take Miranda's hand to comfort her. Miranda found it anything but comforting at the moment anf shrugged it off.
"Wh, wh, what are you doing here?" Miranda stammered. She began to franticly look around for some escape.
"Excuse you Sanchez, why are you talking to royalty whne your below peasent status?" Avoice from the blonde girl behind Lizzie said.
"K,k, Kate. I, uh, I, well, I, I, I." Miranda swiveled her head looking for the exit, she bolted for it, but her feet wouldn't move. She was like a deer caught in the headlights, but these were headlights with blonde hair.
"You, you, you, you what? Did something for once i-" Kate began to tear into Miranda bought she was stopped by a hoarse whisper.
"Back off, Kate."
"But Liz..." Kate began, but Lizzie wouldn't have it.
"No, no buts, come on you guys, let's just get started on the posters, Ipromised my Mom I would be home early, and fighting with people isn't going to get me there." Lizzie said the words with such defiance and force, but she toyed with her shirt, pretending like she was trying to cover up her midriff.
Kate gave Miranda a look of disdain, but moved back to her dwelling. Soon everyone else followed. Miranda collapsed into the nearest chair and began to reminice about the past. The good ol' days. She barely felt as Ethan helped walk her to his car and up to her house. She didn't hear as he explained to her parents about what had happened. Neither did she feel her Dad carry her up to her room and lay her on her bed. But, once she was there she drifted off into sleep, where reality and fantasy collide, where the past didn't stay the past for long. Somehow, old memories came back to haunt in this world called 'dream.'
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Miranda's Dream *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"I'm glad to have friends like you. Gordo, you're such a great friend, who's so smart and nice and considerate, I know you would neveer do anything to hurt me. And Miranda you're always on my side. You stand by me through the good times and the bad,. I know you'll both always be there for me." A fourteen-year-old Lizzie McGuire said beaming up at her two best friends. Her look of pure hapiness from being around her greatest and truest friends could touch even the blckest hearts...
"Gordo! How could you do this, how could you..." A sixteen-year-old Lizzie cried as she stood over an unconcious male. The tears rolled down her face, the only thing to be found in her eyes was the reflection of lost trust. Just to see it would swallow you up and slowly eat you apart until it had spread it's black death into every last depth of your soul. That sight could spread pain even to the blackest heart, and make the greatest soul crumble. Lizzie's eyes caused all this and more to Miranda, but worse was the choice she would now have to make. Every cause has an effect, and this effect could only become a cause that could shread the bonds of ones friendship. Choices, it's all about choices. The choices you make, they change everything, and changes, changes aren't always good, sometimes the slightest change in weather can create a hurricane so massive it destroys nations. Change doesn't do any good unless you see them coming. *Bottom line is you never see 'em coming, you're not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their lives to change, not really. But it does. So, whar, are we helpless? Puppets? No. The big moments are gonna come, can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you are. What you do afterwards, it will never be forgotten, they will be always frozen into a memory, unfortunately for us, a memory you can't leave behind...
Lizzie's eyes stared into Miranda's, those eyes that had used to been comfort, only brought pain to Miranda now. "Miranda, are you siding with... are you.. are you leaving me?"
Miranda glanced at Gordo then at the body in the hospital bed. Finally she cast her glance back onto Lizzie's eyes, Lizzie deserved to be looked in the eye. "I, I'm sorry, but... Gordo wasn't trying to hurt you, he was just trying to protect you. He wasn't doing anything wrong."
"Yeah, except for destroy our relationship. I suppose you're trying to say that this is all Caleb's fault, for ACCIDENTILY hitting me. He, he didn't mean to do it. Caleb, he loves me, he loves me. Now Gordo expects me to choose between him and the love of my life? I don't think so. Look, Miranda, you can be both of our friends, but be friends with a selfish, pig-headed jerk!"
"No Lizzie! No, I can't be friends with both of you, I can't. I can't deal with that. No matter who I would be with, each of you would be bad mouthing the other, and I can't do that."
"Well then just get out Sanchez, Lizzie doesn't need friends like you." Kate said.
"Just shut up Kate, this is none of your business. God, ever since all this started happening you have been completely ignoring me. I don't need friends like that either." Claire said screaming at Kate. She stormed out of the room leaving Miranda and Gordo standing here. Lizzie picked up a plastic cup.
"Get OUT! GET OUT NOW!" Lizzie screamed her voice raising and oozing hate. Lizzie threw the cup at the door just as Gordo shut it, and the door to one of he greatest friendships...
"Guess I wouldn't always be on your side Miranda said mumbling to herself as she began to wake up. She opened her eyes slowly, the reality was still there, the past had been bad, but the present was worse, it was a constant reminder of Miranda's past. As Miranda began to sink back into reality's grips tears rolled down her face. Her shoulders shook with the force of and= earthquake and her sobs filled the house, leaving a whole in thw souls of everyone who heard them. Miranda wasn't just crying, she was leaking out her soul's pain, so everyone could feel its presence as well. Her pain was too much to handle, she had to let it leak out. Miranda slammed her fist into her full-length mirror and grasped onto a peice of glass. As Miranda's parents came rushing in her room, Miranda slid the glass down her arm, tracing her veins. As she began to loose unconciousness, Miranda drifted back into the world so wrongfully referred to as 'dream,' and basked in the glow of her memories.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Lizzie sighed as she glued her face onto a poster for the fifteenthbillion time. She couldn't concentrate, the fear on Miranda's face had planted a seed in Lizzie's heart. The seed was sprouting into a big wooly tree. Lizzie couldn't take it anymore, she had to call Miranda. Lizzie stood up.
"I have to go to the bathroom," Lizzie said lying to everyone as she crept towards the corner where the restrooms and pay phones were. Once she had turned he corner she hit a full out sprint to the phones. She hurriedly pushed the coins into the slot. Her fingers left impressions in the air as she dialed Miranda's number. It seemed like an eternity as it rang, finally the answering machine came on. Lizzie hung up the phone figuring Miranda went to Ethan's. She dialed Ethan's number with less zest than before but with the same intensity. The phone rang twice beofer Ethan picked up.
"Mrs. Snachez, any news?" Ethans voice said dripping with fear. The fear in his voice squashe Miranda's wooly tree and gree a whole buttload of shrubbery. All of a sudden questions ran through Lizzie's mind, trying to figure out what had happened to Mirana.
"What happened to Miranda?" Lizie practically screeched.
"She, she's in the hospital." Ethan finally answered though it seemed like an eternity.
"WHY!" Lizie shouted not bothering to keep her voice down.
"I, I, I..." Ethan's voice stammered and Lizzie realized he didn't think she deserved to know.
Lizzie slammed down the phone and sprinted out of the Digital Bean, ignoring the voices that called behind her. She raced on, hoping to put distance between her and the few that tried to follow her. Lizzie had to get to the hospital, and fast. She could have had Caleb take her, but she couldn't bare his questions, not now. Besides, Lizzie could get there faster running. Cars hinked as she got in their path, but Lizzie didn't hear. Nothign around her was registering. She was on one mission, everything else not having to directly have to do with her task at hand was pure crap. And right now Lizzie didn't need any more crap. Lizzie pushed the door open with such forced they banged off the wall and slammed closed with just as much force as a speeding bullet.
"Miranda Sanchez!" Lizzie yelled at the receptionest.
"I'm sorry are you family?"
"Yes!" Lizzie lied.
"Well, then, you can go wait over there, no one but her parents are allowed in the emergency room at this moment." The receptionest said calmly.
Lizzie grabbed her collar and twisted it closely to herself. "Look, lady, I know you may have been sitting here all day with nothing eventful going on, but a mountain has sprung up on my beautiful grassy plains, and I don't have any fucking time to doddle here with you. So tell me where her damn room is now! Or she won't be the only one the emergency room!"
The receptionest looked scared, and pissed off, but she seemed to sympathise. As soon as Lizzie let her go she smiled at her. "Are you her friend?"
"Yes," Lizzie said breaking down. She didn't even bother to wipe the tears off her face. "I am, but I wasn't there for her when she needed me!!!" Lizzie cried her words crackling apart and her voice becoming high-pitched. Soon Lizzie was crumpled on the floor emmersing herself in sobbs. Nothing mattered to her at that moment anymore. She let the receptionest put her in a wheelchair.
"I'll take you to her, although, she may not make you feel better." she said in a calming voice.
"Why?" Lizzie asked.
"Well, because she's probably still unconcious."
Tears rained down on Lizzie's face. "No, I mean, why is she in here?"
"She, well," The receptioneststammered, and then took a long breath. "She slit her wrist with a oeice of glass from her shattered mirror. Which she shattered, and cut up her fist real bad doing so, luckily her parents caught her in the nic of time."
Lizzie's eyes flooded with tears, and her sobs were so loud and full of pain no one in that hospital was not affected by them. The recptionest's heart filled with sorrow, and pity for this young girl. She knew she couldn't be much older than seventeen, if that, and already she had endured more pain than most have to even glimpse at in their lifetime. Lizzie's pain weighed down on everyone's hearts, and ate them up. Her pain in a small dose was too much for anyone else to handle, and yet, she had to have it all, and so much more. There wasn't one person at that hospital who didn't pray for Lizzie, and that they would never have to bare her pain.
"How could such a young person endure that much, how strong she had to be." Everyone thought as they saw her. If only they knew that everything inside Lizzie was shattered. If they only knew the only thing she could see or feel clearly was those painful memories. The memories she couldn't leave behind, the memories that flooded her with fear and apprehension. Lizzie's soul crumbled, as if it's knees had been cut from under it. Why should anyone have to bare this pain. And why did it happen to her. All those questions and more flooded Lizzie's whole being, and tore at her heart. Nothing could get to where she was now, nothing could bring her out of the pain. She was drowning in it, and the only thing she could see were those awful memories. Those memories that seemed to taunt her and remind her of her painful choices. Why is it so easy to forget the great things, but impossible to rid yourself of those horrible, embarrasing things you wish would go away. All these quesiton and more flooded Lizzie's mind, as she slowly slipped into a state of depression.
Whoah! Angsty, I know, but this is what came out. Don't worry, the next chapter will be much better, and no, don't worry Miranda doesn't die. I wouldn't do that to you all. Thanks for reviewing, keep it up please.
Love Ya,
Love,
mR.peRSonALiTY
Chapter 11
Dedicated to My "Little" Duck
"Oh, my God," Miranda thought to herself. "This can't possibly get any worse."
Miranda's body tensed up even more when Ethan tried to take Miranda's hand to comfort her. Miranda found it anything but comforting at the moment anf shrugged it off.
"Wh, wh, what are you doing here?" Miranda stammered. She began to franticly look around for some escape.
"Excuse you Sanchez, why are you talking to royalty whne your below peasent status?" Avoice from the blonde girl behind Lizzie said.
"K,k, Kate. I, uh, I, well, I, I, I." Miranda swiveled her head looking for the exit, she bolted for it, but her feet wouldn't move. She was like a deer caught in the headlights, but these were headlights with blonde hair.
"You, you, you, you what? Did something for once i-" Kate began to tear into Miranda bought she was stopped by a hoarse whisper.
"Back off, Kate."
"But Liz..." Kate began, but Lizzie wouldn't have it.
"No, no buts, come on you guys, let's just get started on the posters, Ipromised my Mom I would be home early, and fighting with people isn't going to get me there." Lizzie said the words with such defiance and force, but she toyed with her shirt, pretending like she was trying to cover up her midriff.
Kate gave Miranda a look of disdain, but moved back to her dwelling. Soon everyone else followed. Miranda collapsed into the nearest chair and began to reminice about the past. The good ol' days. She barely felt as Ethan helped walk her to his car and up to her house. She didn't hear as he explained to her parents about what had happened. Neither did she feel her Dad carry her up to her room and lay her on her bed. But, once she was there she drifted off into sleep, where reality and fantasy collide, where the past didn't stay the past for long. Somehow, old memories came back to haunt in this world called 'dream.'
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Miranda's Dream *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"I'm glad to have friends like you. Gordo, you're such a great friend, who's so smart and nice and considerate, I know you would neveer do anything to hurt me. And Miranda you're always on my side. You stand by me through the good times and the bad,. I know you'll both always be there for me." A fourteen-year-old Lizzie McGuire said beaming up at her two best friends. Her look of pure hapiness from being around her greatest and truest friends could touch even the blckest hearts...
"Gordo! How could you do this, how could you..." A sixteen-year-old Lizzie cried as she stood over an unconcious male. The tears rolled down her face, the only thing to be found in her eyes was the reflection of lost trust. Just to see it would swallow you up and slowly eat you apart until it had spread it's black death into every last depth of your soul. That sight could spread pain even to the blackest heart, and make the greatest soul crumble. Lizzie's eyes caused all this and more to Miranda, but worse was the choice she would now have to make. Every cause has an effect, and this effect could only become a cause that could shread the bonds of ones friendship. Choices, it's all about choices. The choices you make, they change everything, and changes, changes aren't always good, sometimes the slightest change in weather can create a hurricane so massive it destroys nations. Change doesn't do any good unless you see them coming. *Bottom line is you never see 'em coming, you're not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their lives to change, not really. But it does. So, whar, are we helpless? Puppets? No. The big moments are gonna come, can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you are. What you do afterwards, it will never be forgotten, they will be always frozen into a memory, unfortunately for us, a memory you can't leave behind...
Lizzie's eyes stared into Miranda's, those eyes that had used to been comfort, only brought pain to Miranda now. "Miranda, are you siding with... are you.. are you leaving me?"
Miranda glanced at Gordo then at the body in the hospital bed. Finally she cast her glance back onto Lizzie's eyes, Lizzie deserved to be looked in the eye. "I, I'm sorry, but... Gordo wasn't trying to hurt you, he was just trying to protect you. He wasn't doing anything wrong."
"Yeah, except for destroy our relationship. I suppose you're trying to say that this is all Caleb's fault, for ACCIDENTILY hitting me. He, he didn't mean to do it. Caleb, he loves me, he loves me. Now Gordo expects me to choose between him and the love of my life? I don't think so. Look, Miranda, you can be both of our friends, but be friends with a selfish, pig-headed jerk!"
"No Lizzie! No, I can't be friends with both of you, I can't. I can't deal with that. No matter who I would be with, each of you would be bad mouthing the other, and I can't do that."
"Well then just get out Sanchez, Lizzie doesn't need friends like you." Kate said.
"Just shut up Kate, this is none of your business. God, ever since all this started happening you have been completely ignoring me. I don't need friends like that either." Claire said screaming at Kate. She stormed out of the room leaving Miranda and Gordo standing here. Lizzie picked up a plastic cup.
"Get OUT! GET OUT NOW!" Lizzie screamed her voice raising and oozing hate. Lizzie threw the cup at the door just as Gordo shut it, and the door to one of he greatest friendships...
"Guess I wouldn't always be on your side Miranda said mumbling to herself as she began to wake up. She opened her eyes slowly, the reality was still there, the past had been bad, but the present was worse, it was a constant reminder of Miranda's past. As Miranda began to sink back into reality's grips tears rolled down her face. Her shoulders shook with the force of and= earthquake and her sobs filled the house, leaving a whole in thw souls of everyone who heard them. Miranda wasn't just crying, she was leaking out her soul's pain, so everyone could feel its presence as well. Her pain was too much to handle, she had to let it leak out. Miranda slammed her fist into her full-length mirror and grasped onto a peice of glass. As Miranda's parents came rushing in her room, Miranda slid the glass down her arm, tracing her veins. As she began to loose unconciousness, Miranda drifted back into the world so wrongfully referred to as 'dream,' and basked in the glow of her memories.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Lizzie sighed as she glued her face onto a poster for the fifteenthbillion time. She couldn't concentrate, the fear on Miranda's face had planted a seed in Lizzie's heart. The seed was sprouting into a big wooly tree. Lizzie couldn't take it anymore, she had to call Miranda. Lizzie stood up.
"I have to go to the bathroom," Lizzie said lying to everyone as she crept towards the corner where the restrooms and pay phones were. Once she had turned he corner she hit a full out sprint to the phones. She hurriedly pushed the coins into the slot. Her fingers left impressions in the air as she dialed Miranda's number. It seemed like an eternity as it rang, finally the answering machine came on. Lizzie hung up the phone figuring Miranda went to Ethan's. She dialed Ethan's number with less zest than before but with the same intensity. The phone rang twice beofer Ethan picked up.
"Mrs. Snachez, any news?" Ethans voice said dripping with fear. The fear in his voice squashe Miranda's wooly tree and gree a whole buttload of shrubbery. All of a sudden questions ran through Lizzie's mind, trying to figure out what had happened to Mirana.
"What happened to Miranda?" Lizie practically screeched.
"She, she's in the hospital." Ethan finally answered though it seemed like an eternity.
"WHY!" Lizie shouted not bothering to keep her voice down.
"I, I, I..." Ethan's voice stammered and Lizzie realized he didn't think she deserved to know.
Lizzie slammed down the phone and sprinted out of the Digital Bean, ignoring the voices that called behind her. She raced on, hoping to put distance between her and the few that tried to follow her. Lizzie had to get to the hospital, and fast. She could have had Caleb take her, but she couldn't bare his questions, not now. Besides, Lizzie could get there faster running. Cars hinked as she got in their path, but Lizzie didn't hear. Nothign around her was registering. She was on one mission, everything else not having to directly have to do with her task at hand was pure crap. And right now Lizzie didn't need any more crap. Lizzie pushed the door open with such forced they banged off the wall and slammed closed with just as much force as a speeding bullet.
"Miranda Sanchez!" Lizzie yelled at the receptionest.
"I'm sorry are you family?"
"Yes!" Lizzie lied.
"Well, then, you can go wait over there, no one but her parents are allowed in the emergency room at this moment." The receptionest said calmly.
Lizzie grabbed her collar and twisted it closely to herself. "Look, lady, I know you may have been sitting here all day with nothing eventful going on, but a mountain has sprung up on my beautiful grassy plains, and I don't have any fucking time to doddle here with you. So tell me where her damn room is now! Or she won't be the only one the emergency room!"
The receptionest looked scared, and pissed off, but she seemed to sympathise. As soon as Lizzie let her go she smiled at her. "Are you her friend?"
"Yes," Lizzie said breaking down. She didn't even bother to wipe the tears off her face. "I am, but I wasn't there for her when she needed me!!!" Lizzie cried her words crackling apart and her voice becoming high-pitched. Soon Lizzie was crumpled on the floor emmersing herself in sobbs. Nothing mattered to her at that moment anymore. She let the receptionest put her in a wheelchair.
"I'll take you to her, although, she may not make you feel better." she said in a calming voice.
"Why?" Lizzie asked.
"Well, because she's probably still unconcious."
Tears rained down on Lizzie's face. "No, I mean, why is she in here?"
"She, well," The receptioneststammered, and then took a long breath. "She slit her wrist with a oeice of glass from her shattered mirror. Which she shattered, and cut up her fist real bad doing so, luckily her parents caught her in the nic of time."
Lizzie's eyes flooded with tears, and her sobs were so loud and full of pain no one in that hospital was not affected by them. The recptionest's heart filled with sorrow, and pity for this young girl. She knew she couldn't be much older than seventeen, if that, and already she had endured more pain than most have to even glimpse at in their lifetime. Lizzie's pain weighed down on everyone's hearts, and ate them up. Her pain in a small dose was too much for anyone else to handle, and yet, she had to have it all, and so much more. There wasn't one person at that hospital who didn't pray for Lizzie, and that they would never have to bare her pain.
"How could such a young person endure that much, how strong she had to be." Everyone thought as they saw her. If only they knew that everything inside Lizzie was shattered. If they only knew the only thing she could see or feel clearly was those painful memories. The memories she couldn't leave behind, the memories that flooded her with fear and apprehension. Lizzie's soul crumbled, as if it's knees had been cut from under it. Why should anyone have to bare this pain. And why did it happen to her. All those questions and more flooded Lizzie's whole being, and tore at her heart. Nothing could get to where she was now, nothing could bring her out of the pain. She was drowning in it, and the only thing she could see were those awful memories. Those memories that seemed to taunt her and remind her of her painful choices. Why is it so easy to forget the great things, but impossible to rid yourself of those horrible, embarrasing things you wish would go away. All these quesiton and more flooded Lizzie's mind, as she slowly slipped into a state of depression.
Whoah! Angsty, I know, but this is what came out. Don't worry, the next chapter will be much better, and no, don't worry Miranda doesn't die. I wouldn't do that to you all. Thanks for reviewing, keep it up please.
Love Ya,
Love,
mR.peRSonALiTY