Disclaimer: All of the sudden I'm into disclaimers. Ok, once again I own Laurelothwen, her daughter Ingwen (note the "n"), her horse Nimel, and Taranga. Everything else belongs to Tolkien. One more chapter till the arrival of the Vanyar and the Noldor!
Ingwen
I left the Pastures swiftly and made for the Mansions of Aule. When I arrived, I was met by two huge doors wrought of silver and inlaid with patterns of gold and studded with jewels of every color at the foot of the largest of the mountains that covered the Mansions. As I approached the doors, Teleprion waxed to his fullness and strange markings appeared on the doors. They were made of a metal that I could not name and were arranged in patterns like sticks. In the center of the door something else also appeared. It was a huge knocker in the shape of a hammer upon an anvil. I pulled the hammer back and let it go. It smacked against the anvil with a resounding blast similar to thunder. The sound echoed everywhere and I wondered if everyone in Arda had heard it. I covered my ears and leaped practically ten feet before hiding behind a nearby bolder. I hid for awhile behind the rock before the doors swung open. Standing there was a Maia dressed in work clothes and was covered from head to toe in soot and sweat.
"Who knocks upon the doors of the Mansions of Aule," he asked.
I came out from behind the rock to answer him.
"Laurelothwen of the Quendi knocks. I have come here to learn from Lord Aule."
The Maia looked me up and down. His face clearly showed his skepticism and he laughed at me.
"You think that you can learn from the Maker of Mountains in that Prissy One? Aule's home is no place for one who works in a dress and puts flowers in her hair."
I frowned at him as he said this. Whoever this Maia was he certainly was the rudest one I'd ever met. What was wrong with working in a dress? The one I wore was of soft yellow with a belt of elanor while my hair was braided with simbelmyne. A headband of yellow kept back the loose strands.
"I will let Lord Aule decide that," I curtly replied.
The Maia shook his head.
"Very well Prissy One. Follow me."
I was tempted to not follow him and demand that he stop calling me "Prissy One", but quickly decided against it. Doing something as immature as that would only prove the name correct and under no circumstances would I let that happen.
The inside of the Mansions was as great as its doors. Veins of silver and gold ran everywhere while gems poked out and glittered in the torchlight. Everywhere the sound of hammers resounded. The deeper we went the louder it became. I tried for awhile to keep track of all the twists and turns that we made as we descended down the tunnels, but there were so many that I soon lost track. I was a bit frightened by the darkness and the depth of the tunnels (which seemed to grow smaller the farther we went down), but the walls soon dropped away revealing a huge mansion. Massive fires roared, the sound of the hammers was practically deafening, and the heat was sweltering. Everywhere the Maiar of Aule were busily working. Some were making beautiful objects of gold and silver while others were cutting gems into shapes that revealed their true beauty. Still more were coming up from tunnels that went even deeper into the Mansions and bringing out newly mined metals and gems. All of them were wearing clothes similar to that of the Maia I was following. I understood now that this was no place for a dress. The Maia I had been following made his way around all of this and made for the center of the cave where work was at its maximum. There Aule stood speaking to another Maia. It was the first time I'd seen him since I had left the Ring of Doom to study with Manwe and Varda. As he spoke he worked upon what appeared to be the final touches of a crown in the shape of Laurelin's leaves and studded with emeralds.
"Make sure those garnets and opals are ready for the belts by tomorrow and as soon as I'm done with this crown have it delivered to my wife. She intends to give it to Arien," Aule said.
"It will be done Lord Aule," answered the Maia before running off.
With that Aule turned his attention to the Maia I'd been following.
"Ah Taranga*! Did you see who was at the door?"
"Yes my Lord. May I present Laurelothwen of the Quendi. She has come to be your pupil."
Aule's gaze fell upon me now. I felt rather awkward, my dress had become soiled with ash and I was sweating terribly. But none of this Aule seemed to notice.
"So Laurelothwen you have finally come to my Mansions to learn the skills of the hands. Excellent! Taranga take Laurelothwen to a chamber where she may change into something easier to work in and then bring her back so that she may begin her studies," Aule commanded.
"My Lord you mean to take this flower into your instruction? She will barely survive the difficult labors of this place," objected Taranga.
"I took you into my service Taranga. Why shouldn't I take Laurelothwen as my pupil? By coming here she has shown that she desire to learn and I will not deny her that. Now do as I have commanded."
Aule's tone showed his finality in the matter and returned to working on the crown. Taranga did not seemed at all pleased, but obeyed anyway. Once again I followed him down another tunnel leading away from the main mansion that was lined with many doors.
"So you're named Taranga. What are your duties in Aule's Mansions and why on Arda are you so cross?"
"I am chief servant to Aule and doorman of the Mansions. You're questions make me cross and if you have anymore, I suggest you keep them to yourself," he snapped.
Taranga stopped suddenly in front of a door. I nearly ran into him.
"As long as you live in these Mansions this will be your chamber. There should be proper work clothes in there. Change quickly so that I can lead you back to begin your tutoring. And know this, I will not lead you everywhere in this place. You will be expected to learn your own way around."
With that he turned his back to me and I entered my room.
The room was sparsely furnished with a bed, a worktable, a small dresser, and a torch for light. On the bed were work clothes just as Taranga and the other Maiar of Aule wore only these were clean. I slipped out of my dress and into the clothes. I also put my braid into a bun. I certainly didn't want it to catch on fire.
"What took you so long," Taranga crossly questioned when I reappeared.
"Why are you so touchy," I snapped back.
"What I say about questions," he countered.
"Oh yes, I need to keep them to myself," I replied sarcastically.
"Remember that. Now come, Aule awaits."
Taranga's behavior baffled me, but I refused to dwell on it. I rarely saw him after that first day in Aule's Mansions, but whenever we did meet it normally resulted with the two of us getting after on another.
From Aule I learned my greatest joy, one that surpassed even my love of song. The love of making beautiful things by hand. Shaping jewels and metals into exquisite works to behold. I loved every stage in the process of making them. From the difficult labor of mining for metals to shaping them into necklaces and ornaments. The joy of finding a priceless sapphire and then cutting it in a way that revealed its inner most beauty and then inlaying it in jewelry to enhance that beauty. Then the greatest joy, giving it away to one whom would fully appreciate its wonder. I rarely kept the work of my hands for myself and when I did it was only so that I could give it to one that was not yet there. Like Ingwe. From Aule I also learned the lore of the stuff of the earth. How to use gems and metals in ways that would make them useful for healing and empowerment. Aule also taught me of how he created the shape of the earth at the beginning and of his part in the making of the Lamps of the Valar. Once again I asked what happened to them and this time I received an answer.
"They were destroyed Laurelothwen. By one who now suffers the punishment for his deeds."
When I asked whom that one was Aule would not say.
Even after Aule taught me all he would I remained in his Mansions. All I wished to do was make more beautiful things. As I was mining one day for emeralds I came across not emeralds, but two perfectly shaped diamonds. I worked slowly around them removing them in the stone they were encased in so that I could cut them away without the chance of ruining them. I returned to the main mansion and began to work on cutting out the diamonds. Their shape was exquisite. I ran ideas through my head as to what to do with them. A necklace? Earring? Rings?
"They were shaped like the sparkling eyes of my people," I thought to myself.
And that thought gave me an idea. Perfect! I would make a statue of a baby elf and I would use these diamonds for the eyes. Maybe doing so would help me gain more patience while I waited for my people. In Aule's Mansions the greatest thing I learned was patience. One could never rush in the making of something if they wanted it to be done well. And this statue had to be done well. It was to be my greatest work.
I worked at all hours hardly eating or sleeping. I worked most carefully on the diamonds putting forth all my skill to make them look exactly like eyes. I worked on my statue in my chamber and told no one of my work. I often set aside the making of my statue to work on other things and not to draw attention. I even never worked in the main mansion while making my statue, but always in the smaller and less used ones. At the time I did not realize how these actions would lead to the making of something greater than a statue. When I was finally satisfied with the shape of the diamonds I began to make a face for them to be set in. I brought back all my memories of the babies born at Cuivienen and what they looked like. I decided that the baby would be a girl and I named her Ingwen for my love and because I didn't like referring to her as just a statue. I made her body out of gold. The work was slow and grueling and I often would stop to redo parts. To make her more lifelike I even took the hair from my head and placed it upon Ingwen. Finally I saw that she was perfect and ready to hold the diamonds that had inspired her making. When she was all done, Ingwen looked just like a real baby. I wrapped her in a blue blanket and decided to keep her for myself. For a time I was pleased just to have her as she was. But after awhile I desired something more. I desired for her to live. I wanted her to be my daughter and Ingwe's. And wasn't she already? Hadn't I put forth everything I was to make her? She was just like any other elven baby so it wasn't like I was creating a new race. She was made of the stuff of the earth like elves, her diamond eyes were like stars, she had my hair, and she even had my blood. I had cut myself many times during her making. All this seemed to me evidence enough that she should be allowed to live. But the question was how? The elves and apparently the dwarves had all come into being because Iluvatar had allowed it. Ingwen was an elf I reasoned. But that still didn't solve my problem as to how to give Ingwen life. This questioned plagued me constantly. It was all I could think of. I knew I had to leave Aule's Mansions if I was to find the answer, but I was not sure I wished to leave. The place that I had once loathed was now a place I desired only to stay in. But I knew that the only way to find how to give Ingwen a life of her own was to leave the Mansions.
When I told Aule of my choice to leave he was sad to see me go, but did not press me for a reason. More than likely he probably thought that I had decided to learn from another of the Valar. I left the Mansions that I had begun to call home as swiftly as I had come. Only this time I did not go in search of new knowledge from a tutor, but in search of a way to give life to the lifeless through my own wits. I snuck Ingwen out of the Mansions wrapped completely in her blue blanket so that she looked like nothing more than some of the objects I had made. As I walked from the Mansions my mind went through all that it had retained about life and how it was created. In the natural way a husband and a wife begetted a child after joining there bodies and through the power of the body and the spirit the child was created and born. I had already used my hair and blood in Ingwen's creation, which meant that she had life from that. But how to transfer spirit? I pondered this question as my feet led me towards the north of Aman. The light of the Trees was mingling with Teleprion again waxing to his fullness and Laurelin waning to naught. I sat upon a rock and watched the mingling, still very baffled at my predicament. I sighed with frustration and unwrapped the part of the cloth that hid Ingwen's face.
"I want you to have this, my daughter. I want you to see the beauty of the Trees. To dance in the Pastures of Yavanna, to sing in the Halls of Manwe and Varda, to live in happiness forever with the Eldar. But how can I do so? Why do I try to do something that is most likely beyond my skill?"
A new thought came to me even as I spoke these words. Iluvatar may have made the Elves, but it was the light of Teleprion through the stars that awakened us. Could it be done again? Could Ingwen receive her life through the light in the Vats of Varda that held Teleprion's light? Why not? There was nothing wrong in trying. And if that did not work than I would try something else. But I would not stop until my Ingwen, my daughter had life. I covered her face with the cloth once more and made my way to Ezellohar.
It was several more days before I reached my destination. When I did I was greeted by Arien a Maia maid who tended to Laurelin.
"What brings you here Laurelothwen? Last I heard you were learning from Aule," she stated.
"I was Arien, but I felt a need to leave and come here. I have spent much time learning and felt I could use a break."
Arien nodded her head. "I understand. Well, Ezellohar is no better place to recover your strength except for the Isle of Este. I most get back to my work now. The fruits of Laurelin don't pick themselves up. I'll see you around!" With that she left and I was alone.
I made my way to one of the smaller Vats that held about a knee's height of Teleprion's dew. I looked around to make sure the area was for the most part deserted. Everyone was near Laurelin gathering her fallen fruits and flowers. Good. That meant that at least for awhile I would be undisturbed. I still wore my work clothes from the Mansions and pulled up the pant legs to just above my knees before wading into the Vat. Just as Laurelin's light was heat so too was Teleprion's light cold, but in a way that it was not painful, but blissfully pleasant.
"What better way for my daughter to begin her life than in this light," I whispered aloud.
I unwrapped Ingwen from her blue cloth and held her for a moment in my arms, simply gazing at the work I created.
"Just as the light of the stars awakened my life at Cuivienen, may your life be awakened by the same source of their light."
I gently kissed her forehead before submerging her into the light. My entire being hoped and prayed for my Ingwen's life, the life that I wanted her to have, would be awakened. Suddenly I felt a wriggling in my arms. I gasped and quickly pulled Ingwen from the light. As she emerged she was no longer gold, but flesh and blood. My prayer had been answered! She was even more beautiful than I could've possibly imagined. Ingwen gave a loud cry as I cradled her. Tears of joy streamed down my face. I could barely believe it! I grabbed the blue cloth and wrapped her in it. My baby lived! I sat down with my legs still in Teleprion's light. I was so amazed. I had a child all my own. It was a new love that I had never felt before in all my life. It was a love that was totally complete. I would do anything for Ingwen. I would never stop loving her, no matter what she would do with her life. She captured all my attention, so much so that I did not see who was coming up from behind me.
"What have you done?"
I turned around startled. It was Arien again. She stared at Ingwen. Other Maiar who had been attending to Laurelin were continuing there work, but kept glancing towards our direction. There faces looked just like Arien's. Shocked, amazed, angered, and just a small amount of pity.
"You say that as if I've done something wrong Arien," I replied as I stood out of the light.
Arien continued to stare at Ingwen. She opened her mouth and closed it several times before speaking again.
"This is not right Laurelothwen. You cannot make life with your two hands. Did you not learn that from Aule?" As she spoke her gaze never left Ingwen whom was looking all about her and waving her little arms about.
"I have not made a new race Arien. I have only made a daughter for myself. A child in the absolute image and likeness of the Quendi. I only created her form, her life was awakened by the same source that my life was. Teleprion's light. I have done nothing wrong."
Arien shook her head. "You don't understand. This is wrong. The Valar most be notified immediately. This is beyond my ability to judge. Stay here."
With that Arien rushed away. Now it was my turn to be shocked. What had I done? I had made no new race, no creature that was not contrived by the thought of Iluvatar. Arien was right, I did not understand. But even if I did not understand, how could this be wrong?
Before Teleprion waned to naught Varda, Manwe, Yavanna, and Aule had been brought together and had summoned me to meet them at Varda's home in Valimar. Arien had only sent word to them because they were my tutors and because of my knowledge from them I had been able to do this. They sat in small thrones in a semi circle and stared at Ingwen and I for a long while before speaking.
"How did you do this," Manwe finally asked.
I related Ingwen's tale thus far from the discovery of the diamonds in Aule's Mansions to the desire to grant Ingwen life and finally to my theory of Teleprion's light. Their faces were stern as they listened.
"Why did you do this," Varda asked when I had finished.
"I did not intend to make one who would live my Lady. I only intended to make something to display the two most perfect diamonds I have ever seen. But when it was all done, I desired for Ingwen to share in the life I have been blessed with. I want to teach her what you have taught me, I want her to experience all the great things this world has to offer her, and most of all I want her to feel the love I have for her who is my daughter."
"Laurelothwen, you did all of this with a pure heart, but we cannot allow for it to be. Children of any race are to be begotten through the joining of two whose love for each other is so great that they wish to share it with other. No one can create a child alone and design what they are to be like as you have done. It was a lesson that I also had to learn my child," said Aule
"Then you mean to destroy her my Lords and Ladies?" My voice trembled as I said this. How could the Valar be so cruel? Could they not make this one exception? I would swear never to reveal how I had created Ingwen to anyone so as to not tempt them to do as I had done.
"No Laurelothwen. Ere I came I sought council with Lady Nienna. She has advised us this. That your child should sleep within you until awakened in the proper way by your husband Ingwe. Este has the power to do this. You are to go to her Isle at once," replied Yavanna.
"How could they?" I thought as I traveled to the Isle of Este. I was to be alone again and all because they believed Ingwen had come into being in an improper way. I held my daughter close savoring the few moment I had left with her. When I arrived at the Isle of Este, Este greeted me and my daughter herself.
"I know this may be hard for you to understand, but trust in the judgement of the Valar. It is not like you will never see your daughter again, whom if I may say so is extremely beautiful."
I didn't say anything. I wanted to cry. My child, my life, my very being was being taken from me. Este commanded me lie down and hold Ingwen close. She then cast a deep sleep over the both of us. My last memory was of Ingwen's bright eyes looking up into my own.
When I awoke Ingwen was gone. I stared down at my hands. I dared not cry. Anger, pain, and sorrow was all I felt. I knew I would see her again, but I wanted her now. The greatest thing I had ever done was taken from me. I left Este's Isle as fast as I could. I had no desire to go back to the Mansions of Aule or to seek knowledge from a new tutor. I wished I had never stayed behind in Aman. I knew of a great hill near Calacirya that was uninhabited. A hill where the sea and the stars could be seen as well as the light of the Trees. I made my way there. For the time I would wait for my people and mourn for my daughter alone.
*Taranga = Lord of Iron
A/N: Good grief that was 7 pages long!
Ingwen
I left the Pastures swiftly and made for the Mansions of Aule. When I arrived, I was met by two huge doors wrought of silver and inlaid with patterns of gold and studded with jewels of every color at the foot of the largest of the mountains that covered the Mansions. As I approached the doors, Teleprion waxed to his fullness and strange markings appeared on the doors. They were made of a metal that I could not name and were arranged in patterns like sticks. In the center of the door something else also appeared. It was a huge knocker in the shape of a hammer upon an anvil. I pulled the hammer back and let it go. It smacked against the anvil with a resounding blast similar to thunder. The sound echoed everywhere and I wondered if everyone in Arda had heard it. I covered my ears and leaped practically ten feet before hiding behind a nearby bolder. I hid for awhile behind the rock before the doors swung open. Standing there was a Maia dressed in work clothes and was covered from head to toe in soot and sweat.
"Who knocks upon the doors of the Mansions of Aule," he asked.
I came out from behind the rock to answer him.
"Laurelothwen of the Quendi knocks. I have come here to learn from Lord Aule."
The Maia looked me up and down. His face clearly showed his skepticism and he laughed at me.
"You think that you can learn from the Maker of Mountains in that Prissy One? Aule's home is no place for one who works in a dress and puts flowers in her hair."
I frowned at him as he said this. Whoever this Maia was he certainly was the rudest one I'd ever met. What was wrong with working in a dress? The one I wore was of soft yellow with a belt of elanor while my hair was braided with simbelmyne. A headband of yellow kept back the loose strands.
"I will let Lord Aule decide that," I curtly replied.
The Maia shook his head.
"Very well Prissy One. Follow me."
I was tempted to not follow him and demand that he stop calling me "Prissy One", but quickly decided against it. Doing something as immature as that would only prove the name correct and under no circumstances would I let that happen.
The inside of the Mansions was as great as its doors. Veins of silver and gold ran everywhere while gems poked out and glittered in the torchlight. Everywhere the sound of hammers resounded. The deeper we went the louder it became. I tried for awhile to keep track of all the twists and turns that we made as we descended down the tunnels, but there were so many that I soon lost track. I was a bit frightened by the darkness and the depth of the tunnels (which seemed to grow smaller the farther we went down), but the walls soon dropped away revealing a huge mansion. Massive fires roared, the sound of the hammers was practically deafening, and the heat was sweltering. Everywhere the Maiar of Aule were busily working. Some were making beautiful objects of gold and silver while others were cutting gems into shapes that revealed their true beauty. Still more were coming up from tunnels that went even deeper into the Mansions and bringing out newly mined metals and gems. All of them were wearing clothes similar to that of the Maia I was following. I understood now that this was no place for a dress. The Maia I had been following made his way around all of this and made for the center of the cave where work was at its maximum. There Aule stood speaking to another Maia. It was the first time I'd seen him since I had left the Ring of Doom to study with Manwe and Varda. As he spoke he worked upon what appeared to be the final touches of a crown in the shape of Laurelin's leaves and studded with emeralds.
"Make sure those garnets and opals are ready for the belts by tomorrow and as soon as I'm done with this crown have it delivered to my wife. She intends to give it to Arien," Aule said.
"It will be done Lord Aule," answered the Maia before running off.
With that Aule turned his attention to the Maia I'd been following.
"Ah Taranga*! Did you see who was at the door?"
"Yes my Lord. May I present Laurelothwen of the Quendi. She has come to be your pupil."
Aule's gaze fell upon me now. I felt rather awkward, my dress had become soiled with ash and I was sweating terribly. But none of this Aule seemed to notice.
"So Laurelothwen you have finally come to my Mansions to learn the skills of the hands. Excellent! Taranga take Laurelothwen to a chamber where she may change into something easier to work in and then bring her back so that she may begin her studies," Aule commanded.
"My Lord you mean to take this flower into your instruction? She will barely survive the difficult labors of this place," objected Taranga.
"I took you into my service Taranga. Why shouldn't I take Laurelothwen as my pupil? By coming here she has shown that she desire to learn and I will not deny her that. Now do as I have commanded."
Aule's tone showed his finality in the matter and returned to working on the crown. Taranga did not seemed at all pleased, but obeyed anyway. Once again I followed him down another tunnel leading away from the main mansion that was lined with many doors.
"So you're named Taranga. What are your duties in Aule's Mansions and why on Arda are you so cross?"
"I am chief servant to Aule and doorman of the Mansions. You're questions make me cross and if you have anymore, I suggest you keep them to yourself," he snapped.
Taranga stopped suddenly in front of a door. I nearly ran into him.
"As long as you live in these Mansions this will be your chamber. There should be proper work clothes in there. Change quickly so that I can lead you back to begin your tutoring. And know this, I will not lead you everywhere in this place. You will be expected to learn your own way around."
With that he turned his back to me and I entered my room.
The room was sparsely furnished with a bed, a worktable, a small dresser, and a torch for light. On the bed were work clothes just as Taranga and the other Maiar of Aule wore only these were clean. I slipped out of my dress and into the clothes. I also put my braid into a bun. I certainly didn't want it to catch on fire.
"What took you so long," Taranga crossly questioned when I reappeared.
"Why are you so touchy," I snapped back.
"What I say about questions," he countered.
"Oh yes, I need to keep them to myself," I replied sarcastically.
"Remember that. Now come, Aule awaits."
Taranga's behavior baffled me, but I refused to dwell on it. I rarely saw him after that first day in Aule's Mansions, but whenever we did meet it normally resulted with the two of us getting after on another.
From Aule I learned my greatest joy, one that surpassed even my love of song. The love of making beautiful things by hand. Shaping jewels and metals into exquisite works to behold. I loved every stage in the process of making them. From the difficult labor of mining for metals to shaping them into necklaces and ornaments. The joy of finding a priceless sapphire and then cutting it in a way that revealed its inner most beauty and then inlaying it in jewelry to enhance that beauty. Then the greatest joy, giving it away to one whom would fully appreciate its wonder. I rarely kept the work of my hands for myself and when I did it was only so that I could give it to one that was not yet there. Like Ingwe. From Aule I also learned the lore of the stuff of the earth. How to use gems and metals in ways that would make them useful for healing and empowerment. Aule also taught me of how he created the shape of the earth at the beginning and of his part in the making of the Lamps of the Valar. Once again I asked what happened to them and this time I received an answer.
"They were destroyed Laurelothwen. By one who now suffers the punishment for his deeds."
When I asked whom that one was Aule would not say.
Even after Aule taught me all he would I remained in his Mansions. All I wished to do was make more beautiful things. As I was mining one day for emeralds I came across not emeralds, but two perfectly shaped diamonds. I worked slowly around them removing them in the stone they were encased in so that I could cut them away without the chance of ruining them. I returned to the main mansion and began to work on cutting out the diamonds. Their shape was exquisite. I ran ideas through my head as to what to do with them. A necklace? Earring? Rings?
"They were shaped like the sparkling eyes of my people," I thought to myself.
And that thought gave me an idea. Perfect! I would make a statue of a baby elf and I would use these diamonds for the eyes. Maybe doing so would help me gain more patience while I waited for my people. In Aule's Mansions the greatest thing I learned was patience. One could never rush in the making of something if they wanted it to be done well. And this statue had to be done well. It was to be my greatest work.
I worked at all hours hardly eating or sleeping. I worked most carefully on the diamonds putting forth all my skill to make them look exactly like eyes. I worked on my statue in my chamber and told no one of my work. I often set aside the making of my statue to work on other things and not to draw attention. I even never worked in the main mansion while making my statue, but always in the smaller and less used ones. At the time I did not realize how these actions would lead to the making of something greater than a statue. When I was finally satisfied with the shape of the diamonds I began to make a face for them to be set in. I brought back all my memories of the babies born at Cuivienen and what they looked like. I decided that the baby would be a girl and I named her Ingwen for my love and because I didn't like referring to her as just a statue. I made her body out of gold. The work was slow and grueling and I often would stop to redo parts. To make her more lifelike I even took the hair from my head and placed it upon Ingwen. Finally I saw that she was perfect and ready to hold the diamonds that had inspired her making. When she was all done, Ingwen looked just like a real baby. I wrapped her in a blue blanket and decided to keep her for myself. For a time I was pleased just to have her as she was. But after awhile I desired something more. I desired for her to live. I wanted her to be my daughter and Ingwe's. And wasn't she already? Hadn't I put forth everything I was to make her? She was just like any other elven baby so it wasn't like I was creating a new race. She was made of the stuff of the earth like elves, her diamond eyes were like stars, she had my hair, and she even had my blood. I had cut myself many times during her making. All this seemed to me evidence enough that she should be allowed to live. But the question was how? The elves and apparently the dwarves had all come into being because Iluvatar had allowed it. Ingwen was an elf I reasoned. But that still didn't solve my problem as to how to give Ingwen life. This questioned plagued me constantly. It was all I could think of. I knew I had to leave Aule's Mansions if I was to find the answer, but I was not sure I wished to leave. The place that I had once loathed was now a place I desired only to stay in. But I knew that the only way to find how to give Ingwen a life of her own was to leave the Mansions.
When I told Aule of my choice to leave he was sad to see me go, but did not press me for a reason. More than likely he probably thought that I had decided to learn from another of the Valar. I left the Mansions that I had begun to call home as swiftly as I had come. Only this time I did not go in search of new knowledge from a tutor, but in search of a way to give life to the lifeless through my own wits. I snuck Ingwen out of the Mansions wrapped completely in her blue blanket so that she looked like nothing more than some of the objects I had made. As I walked from the Mansions my mind went through all that it had retained about life and how it was created. In the natural way a husband and a wife begetted a child after joining there bodies and through the power of the body and the spirit the child was created and born. I had already used my hair and blood in Ingwen's creation, which meant that she had life from that. But how to transfer spirit? I pondered this question as my feet led me towards the north of Aman. The light of the Trees was mingling with Teleprion again waxing to his fullness and Laurelin waning to naught. I sat upon a rock and watched the mingling, still very baffled at my predicament. I sighed with frustration and unwrapped the part of the cloth that hid Ingwen's face.
"I want you to have this, my daughter. I want you to see the beauty of the Trees. To dance in the Pastures of Yavanna, to sing in the Halls of Manwe and Varda, to live in happiness forever with the Eldar. But how can I do so? Why do I try to do something that is most likely beyond my skill?"
A new thought came to me even as I spoke these words. Iluvatar may have made the Elves, but it was the light of Teleprion through the stars that awakened us. Could it be done again? Could Ingwen receive her life through the light in the Vats of Varda that held Teleprion's light? Why not? There was nothing wrong in trying. And if that did not work than I would try something else. But I would not stop until my Ingwen, my daughter had life. I covered her face with the cloth once more and made my way to Ezellohar.
It was several more days before I reached my destination. When I did I was greeted by Arien a Maia maid who tended to Laurelin.
"What brings you here Laurelothwen? Last I heard you were learning from Aule," she stated.
"I was Arien, but I felt a need to leave and come here. I have spent much time learning and felt I could use a break."
Arien nodded her head. "I understand. Well, Ezellohar is no better place to recover your strength except for the Isle of Este. I most get back to my work now. The fruits of Laurelin don't pick themselves up. I'll see you around!" With that she left and I was alone.
I made my way to one of the smaller Vats that held about a knee's height of Teleprion's dew. I looked around to make sure the area was for the most part deserted. Everyone was near Laurelin gathering her fallen fruits and flowers. Good. That meant that at least for awhile I would be undisturbed. I still wore my work clothes from the Mansions and pulled up the pant legs to just above my knees before wading into the Vat. Just as Laurelin's light was heat so too was Teleprion's light cold, but in a way that it was not painful, but blissfully pleasant.
"What better way for my daughter to begin her life than in this light," I whispered aloud.
I unwrapped Ingwen from her blue cloth and held her for a moment in my arms, simply gazing at the work I created.
"Just as the light of the stars awakened my life at Cuivienen, may your life be awakened by the same source of their light."
I gently kissed her forehead before submerging her into the light. My entire being hoped and prayed for my Ingwen's life, the life that I wanted her to have, would be awakened. Suddenly I felt a wriggling in my arms. I gasped and quickly pulled Ingwen from the light. As she emerged she was no longer gold, but flesh and blood. My prayer had been answered! She was even more beautiful than I could've possibly imagined. Ingwen gave a loud cry as I cradled her. Tears of joy streamed down my face. I could barely believe it! I grabbed the blue cloth and wrapped her in it. My baby lived! I sat down with my legs still in Teleprion's light. I was so amazed. I had a child all my own. It was a new love that I had never felt before in all my life. It was a love that was totally complete. I would do anything for Ingwen. I would never stop loving her, no matter what she would do with her life. She captured all my attention, so much so that I did not see who was coming up from behind me.
"What have you done?"
I turned around startled. It was Arien again. She stared at Ingwen. Other Maiar who had been attending to Laurelin were continuing there work, but kept glancing towards our direction. There faces looked just like Arien's. Shocked, amazed, angered, and just a small amount of pity.
"You say that as if I've done something wrong Arien," I replied as I stood out of the light.
Arien continued to stare at Ingwen. She opened her mouth and closed it several times before speaking again.
"This is not right Laurelothwen. You cannot make life with your two hands. Did you not learn that from Aule?" As she spoke her gaze never left Ingwen whom was looking all about her and waving her little arms about.
"I have not made a new race Arien. I have only made a daughter for myself. A child in the absolute image and likeness of the Quendi. I only created her form, her life was awakened by the same source that my life was. Teleprion's light. I have done nothing wrong."
Arien shook her head. "You don't understand. This is wrong. The Valar most be notified immediately. This is beyond my ability to judge. Stay here."
With that Arien rushed away. Now it was my turn to be shocked. What had I done? I had made no new race, no creature that was not contrived by the thought of Iluvatar. Arien was right, I did not understand. But even if I did not understand, how could this be wrong?
Before Teleprion waned to naught Varda, Manwe, Yavanna, and Aule had been brought together and had summoned me to meet them at Varda's home in Valimar. Arien had only sent word to them because they were my tutors and because of my knowledge from them I had been able to do this. They sat in small thrones in a semi circle and stared at Ingwen and I for a long while before speaking.
"How did you do this," Manwe finally asked.
I related Ingwen's tale thus far from the discovery of the diamonds in Aule's Mansions to the desire to grant Ingwen life and finally to my theory of Teleprion's light. Their faces were stern as they listened.
"Why did you do this," Varda asked when I had finished.
"I did not intend to make one who would live my Lady. I only intended to make something to display the two most perfect diamonds I have ever seen. But when it was all done, I desired for Ingwen to share in the life I have been blessed with. I want to teach her what you have taught me, I want her to experience all the great things this world has to offer her, and most of all I want her to feel the love I have for her who is my daughter."
"Laurelothwen, you did all of this with a pure heart, but we cannot allow for it to be. Children of any race are to be begotten through the joining of two whose love for each other is so great that they wish to share it with other. No one can create a child alone and design what they are to be like as you have done. It was a lesson that I also had to learn my child," said Aule
"Then you mean to destroy her my Lords and Ladies?" My voice trembled as I said this. How could the Valar be so cruel? Could they not make this one exception? I would swear never to reveal how I had created Ingwen to anyone so as to not tempt them to do as I had done.
"No Laurelothwen. Ere I came I sought council with Lady Nienna. She has advised us this. That your child should sleep within you until awakened in the proper way by your husband Ingwe. Este has the power to do this. You are to go to her Isle at once," replied Yavanna.
"How could they?" I thought as I traveled to the Isle of Este. I was to be alone again and all because they believed Ingwen had come into being in an improper way. I held my daughter close savoring the few moment I had left with her. When I arrived at the Isle of Este, Este greeted me and my daughter herself.
"I know this may be hard for you to understand, but trust in the judgement of the Valar. It is not like you will never see your daughter again, whom if I may say so is extremely beautiful."
I didn't say anything. I wanted to cry. My child, my life, my very being was being taken from me. Este commanded me lie down and hold Ingwen close. She then cast a deep sleep over the both of us. My last memory was of Ingwen's bright eyes looking up into my own.
When I awoke Ingwen was gone. I stared down at my hands. I dared not cry. Anger, pain, and sorrow was all I felt. I knew I would see her again, but I wanted her now. The greatest thing I had ever done was taken from me. I left Este's Isle as fast as I could. I had no desire to go back to the Mansions of Aule or to seek knowledge from a new tutor. I wished I had never stayed behind in Aman. I knew of a great hill near Calacirya that was uninhabited. A hill where the sea and the stars could be seen as well as the light of the Trees. I made my way there. For the time I would wait for my people and mourn for my daughter alone.
*Taranga = Lord of Iron
A/N: Good grief that was 7 pages long!