The Memory of Left Behind- Chapter 14
Miranda sat up feeling a presence watching her. She opened her eyes slowly and peered over her lashes. She saw Gordo with his head in his hands. Miranda breathed a sigh of relief and took a sip of water out of the glass next to her bed.
"Gordo," she said in a hoarse voice.
Gordo's head popped up revealing his tired face. Miranda studied him carefully; his eyes were bloodshot with bags underneath him. "Miranda," he whispered as tears began teetering at the brims of his eyes. "Miranda, I. I'm sorry."
Miranda shook her head violently. "No Gordo, I am the one who should be sorry. I. I shouldn't have scared you like that. I don't know what I was thinking, I was just so. I don't know, but I'm fine now."
Gordo didn't look reassured so Miranda smiled at him. "Really, I'm not just saying that."
The tears that had been playing with Gordo's thick eyelashes began to drop steadily. He got up from his chair slowly and walked carefully over to her. Miranda looked at him scared of what he thought about her. Then he reached over and gave her a big hug. Miranda's cheeks became wet as her own tears began to fall. Miranda felt comforted by Gordo's warmth. "I was so scared," Gordo sobbed out.
"I know, I know. Shh," Miranda tried to comfort Gordo running her hands through his hair. "It'll be okay, we'll get through this together." Miranda smiled as her tears dried up; she believed herself.
Finally pulling back from the embrace Gordo looked into Miranda's eyes. "Lizzie ran."
~*~*~*~
Lizzie shook her head sending her long blonde hair shivering down her shoulders. "No ketchup," she told the waitress standing in front of her. The waitress nodded, wrote something on her pad and then went on her way. Lizzie pushed her hair back from her face and looked around her. She had ended up on her back in California and was currently in a town called, Dulcy. Lizzie had driven through it a few times on her way to Caleb's games. It was about an hour away from home. Lizzie's gaze settled on a pay phone, shoving her left hand into her pocket, she found two quarters. Lizzie stood up and tried not to draw attention to her as she sauntered slowly to the phone. Popping the quarters in her fingers flew across the phone as she dialed a familiar number.
"Did you find anything out?" an urgent voice on the other end greeted her after only half a ring.
"Umm, is Caleb there?" She asked confused.
There was a pause and then a sigh of relief. "Liz."
"Cay," Lizzie replied realizing Caleb must have found out.
"Are you okay? Where are you? What happened?"
"I'm fine. I just. I had some trouble dealing with something. Running seemed like the best way to deal with it. I'm in Dulcy. at the diner. Can you come get me?"
"I'll be there in an hour, don't go anywhere. It'll be okay Lizzie, I'll come get you everything will be okay," Caleb said in a shaky voice. "I love you," he added before hanging up.
"I love you too," Lizzie said to the dead line. Lizzie gently placed the phone back on it's resting spot and then walked back over to the bar area. The waitress popped her gum and smiled at her.
"Having troubles?" The waitress asked. Lizzie looked at her confused as to why she cared. Her gaze shifted from the woman's kind, old face to her nametag.
"Oh, only a few. Nothing I can't handle," Lizzie said. Lizzie's words were hollow. She obviously couldn't handle it or else she wouldn't have had to run. "Thanks for asking Doris."
"No problem, Sugar," Doris said as she walked away and then returned with Lizzie's lunch. "Oh, and don't worry," she added as Lizzie's hands went into her pocket. "It's on the house."
"Thanks," Lizzie said as she watched an Angel walk away. Lizzie smiled; just because her life was full of them didn't mean there were only people who cared only about themselves.
~*~*~*~
Lizzie shifted uncomfortably in the car; Caleb was acting strange. Lizzie looked over at him; his whole body was tense and he was grip on the steering wheel was so tight that his knuckles were white. Lizzie sighed loudly, hoping he would acknowledge that she was there. Instead Caleb just flinched.
"What is wrong with you?" Lizzie finally busted out in frustration.
Caleb turned and looked at her shocked. He drove the car off the road to a small rest stop and cut the ignition. He then turned back to her, his voice pained as he spoke. "What's wrong with me? Well how about the fact the my girlfriend, the most important person in my life, runs away because she's having some huge life crisis over a bunch of LOSERS that have been out of her life for THREE YEARS! THREE YEARS ELIZABETH! And to top it all off you don't even bother to discuss it with me first. You just run off like you have no one to confide in, no one to talk to. I have always been there for you Liz, and you act like you can't trust me. You know how much that hurts? How could you? How could I be so stupid? The only person you have ever shown significant care for besides YOURSELF is David Gordon. David Gordon. No Liz, the question isn't what's wrong with me, it's what's wrong with you."
Caleb's words stung Lizzie as her eyes welled up with tears. Lizzie bit her lip and turned to face the window as to not let Caleb see her hurt. Lizzie silently mused what had happened that had changed Caleb. Then Lizzie realized that Caleb hadn't changed, she had. Bile rose up in Lizzie's throat as she turned around to face the person she had once loved so much. "You want to talk about hurt Caleb? I'll tell you something about hurt. How do you think it feels to have to discard someone you care so much about because your BOYFRIEND couldn't control himself? How do you think it feels when you find out that person you discarded tried to commit suicide because of some dumb-fuck friend you had to embrace because she fit into your boyfriend's life? Huh? How do you think I felt? I was scared Caleb, I was scared. And how could I talk to you? Huh? You would have done the same thing Kate did. You would have told me to get over it because she was a loser. You couldn't have helped me even if I would have talked to you. So I ask you this: How do you think it feels to know that you can't talk to the only person you can trust? Don't you dare talk to me about pain because YOU'RE the one who let me down. You weren't there for me Caleb. THAT hurts."
Lizzie shuddered at the silence that followed. Caleb just glared at her. "I was there for you," he said barely audible.
"What," Lizzie screamed.
"I said I was there for you," he said again this time stronger.
Lizzie shook her head and looked up at the ceiling. "I couldn't talk to you about it Caleb, I couldn't talk to anyone. I wanted to. I did but I didn't know how. so I ran."
Caleb looked at her. His eyes looked pained as he took her features in. Lizzie turned to face the window. Caleb turned on the ignition and started off down the highway. "I'm sorry," Caleb finally said.
Lizzie turned to face him. She saw the look on his face and melted; he looked so sad, hurt, and confused. His tone was apologetic and he sounded sincere. "Me too," Lizzie said. And she was. She reached over to grab Caleb's hand and he accepted the gesture. The car ride was silent the rest of the way. Once they had stopped in front of Lizzie's house Caleb leaned in to kiss Lizzie. It was a short embrace as Lizzie quickly pulled away and got out of the car. "Bye," she said as she grabbed her back from the back seat. While Lizzie walked up the driveway she reached in her pocket for the note she had written to her parents explaining what had happened. Lizzie's head was reeling; not only had the way Lizzie felt about Caleb changed but so had the way she felt when she kissed him. There were no longer any sparks, just a screaming hollowness.
Miranda sat up feeling a presence watching her. She opened her eyes slowly and peered over her lashes. She saw Gordo with his head in his hands. Miranda breathed a sigh of relief and took a sip of water out of the glass next to her bed.
"Gordo," she said in a hoarse voice.
Gordo's head popped up revealing his tired face. Miranda studied him carefully; his eyes were bloodshot with bags underneath him. "Miranda," he whispered as tears began teetering at the brims of his eyes. "Miranda, I. I'm sorry."
Miranda shook her head violently. "No Gordo, I am the one who should be sorry. I. I shouldn't have scared you like that. I don't know what I was thinking, I was just so. I don't know, but I'm fine now."
Gordo didn't look reassured so Miranda smiled at him. "Really, I'm not just saying that."
The tears that had been playing with Gordo's thick eyelashes began to drop steadily. He got up from his chair slowly and walked carefully over to her. Miranda looked at him scared of what he thought about her. Then he reached over and gave her a big hug. Miranda's cheeks became wet as her own tears began to fall. Miranda felt comforted by Gordo's warmth. "I was so scared," Gordo sobbed out.
"I know, I know. Shh," Miranda tried to comfort Gordo running her hands through his hair. "It'll be okay, we'll get through this together." Miranda smiled as her tears dried up; she believed herself.
Finally pulling back from the embrace Gordo looked into Miranda's eyes. "Lizzie ran."
~*~*~*~
Lizzie shook her head sending her long blonde hair shivering down her shoulders. "No ketchup," she told the waitress standing in front of her. The waitress nodded, wrote something on her pad and then went on her way. Lizzie pushed her hair back from her face and looked around her. She had ended up on her back in California and was currently in a town called, Dulcy. Lizzie had driven through it a few times on her way to Caleb's games. It was about an hour away from home. Lizzie's gaze settled on a pay phone, shoving her left hand into her pocket, she found two quarters. Lizzie stood up and tried not to draw attention to her as she sauntered slowly to the phone. Popping the quarters in her fingers flew across the phone as she dialed a familiar number.
"Did you find anything out?" an urgent voice on the other end greeted her after only half a ring.
"Umm, is Caleb there?" She asked confused.
There was a pause and then a sigh of relief. "Liz."
"Cay," Lizzie replied realizing Caleb must have found out.
"Are you okay? Where are you? What happened?"
"I'm fine. I just. I had some trouble dealing with something. Running seemed like the best way to deal with it. I'm in Dulcy. at the diner. Can you come get me?"
"I'll be there in an hour, don't go anywhere. It'll be okay Lizzie, I'll come get you everything will be okay," Caleb said in a shaky voice. "I love you," he added before hanging up.
"I love you too," Lizzie said to the dead line. Lizzie gently placed the phone back on it's resting spot and then walked back over to the bar area. The waitress popped her gum and smiled at her.
"Having troubles?" The waitress asked. Lizzie looked at her confused as to why she cared. Her gaze shifted from the woman's kind, old face to her nametag.
"Oh, only a few. Nothing I can't handle," Lizzie said. Lizzie's words were hollow. She obviously couldn't handle it or else she wouldn't have had to run. "Thanks for asking Doris."
"No problem, Sugar," Doris said as she walked away and then returned with Lizzie's lunch. "Oh, and don't worry," she added as Lizzie's hands went into her pocket. "It's on the house."
"Thanks," Lizzie said as she watched an Angel walk away. Lizzie smiled; just because her life was full of them didn't mean there were only people who cared only about themselves.
~*~*~*~
Lizzie shifted uncomfortably in the car; Caleb was acting strange. Lizzie looked over at him; his whole body was tense and he was grip on the steering wheel was so tight that his knuckles were white. Lizzie sighed loudly, hoping he would acknowledge that she was there. Instead Caleb just flinched.
"What is wrong with you?" Lizzie finally busted out in frustration.
Caleb turned and looked at her shocked. He drove the car off the road to a small rest stop and cut the ignition. He then turned back to her, his voice pained as he spoke. "What's wrong with me? Well how about the fact the my girlfriend, the most important person in my life, runs away because she's having some huge life crisis over a bunch of LOSERS that have been out of her life for THREE YEARS! THREE YEARS ELIZABETH! And to top it all off you don't even bother to discuss it with me first. You just run off like you have no one to confide in, no one to talk to. I have always been there for you Liz, and you act like you can't trust me. You know how much that hurts? How could you? How could I be so stupid? The only person you have ever shown significant care for besides YOURSELF is David Gordon. David Gordon. No Liz, the question isn't what's wrong with me, it's what's wrong with you."
Caleb's words stung Lizzie as her eyes welled up with tears. Lizzie bit her lip and turned to face the window as to not let Caleb see her hurt. Lizzie silently mused what had happened that had changed Caleb. Then Lizzie realized that Caleb hadn't changed, she had. Bile rose up in Lizzie's throat as she turned around to face the person she had once loved so much. "You want to talk about hurt Caleb? I'll tell you something about hurt. How do you think it feels to have to discard someone you care so much about because your BOYFRIEND couldn't control himself? How do you think it feels when you find out that person you discarded tried to commit suicide because of some dumb-fuck friend you had to embrace because she fit into your boyfriend's life? Huh? How do you think I felt? I was scared Caleb, I was scared. And how could I talk to you? Huh? You would have done the same thing Kate did. You would have told me to get over it because she was a loser. You couldn't have helped me even if I would have talked to you. So I ask you this: How do you think it feels to know that you can't talk to the only person you can trust? Don't you dare talk to me about pain because YOU'RE the one who let me down. You weren't there for me Caleb. THAT hurts."
Lizzie shuddered at the silence that followed. Caleb just glared at her. "I was there for you," he said barely audible.
"What," Lizzie screamed.
"I said I was there for you," he said again this time stronger.
Lizzie shook her head and looked up at the ceiling. "I couldn't talk to you about it Caleb, I couldn't talk to anyone. I wanted to. I did but I didn't know how. so I ran."
Caleb looked at her. His eyes looked pained as he took her features in. Lizzie turned to face the window. Caleb turned on the ignition and started off down the highway. "I'm sorry," Caleb finally said.
Lizzie turned to face him. She saw the look on his face and melted; he looked so sad, hurt, and confused. His tone was apologetic and he sounded sincere. "Me too," Lizzie said. And she was. She reached over to grab Caleb's hand and he accepted the gesture. The car ride was silent the rest of the way. Once they had stopped in front of Lizzie's house Caleb leaned in to kiss Lizzie. It was a short embrace as Lizzie quickly pulled away and got out of the car. "Bye," she said as she grabbed her back from the back seat. While Lizzie walked up the driveway she reached in her pocket for the note she had written to her parents explaining what had happened. Lizzie's head was reeling; not only had the way Lizzie felt about Caleb changed but so had the way she felt when she kissed him. There were no longer any sparks, just a screaming hollowness.