DISCLAIMER: Let me give it to you straight. I. Don't. Own. Zoids. Get
the picture yet? I am not going to claim ownership of them anytime soon.
Viz and Pioneer own the rights to the show, and they are doing a fine job
with it in my opinion. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. So is
fanfiction. No infringement is intended. The Cunning Wolf, however, does
belong to me. If you want to use him, PLEASE ASK me. Not sure why I'd say
no, but then again I'm not sure why you'd want to use him either.
A/N: I'm sorry! This is getting really long, compared to the fanfiction that I'm used to writing. The original stories I've written are pretty long, but I think this is the longest non-original piece I've written. And no, this is not the last chapter. I still have more to come. (Like one, and an epilogue.) Thank you, thank you, thank you to those who reviewed! They are very much appreciated. Keep it up!
For some strange reason, in the last couple of chapters the whole concept of three dots in a row to signalize someone trailing off has not been posting correctly. I skim the story over and in its place all I see is one dot. That was not meant to happen. I'm trying something this chapter, and I seriously hope it works . . .
Vulpick: Jamie is both a girl's and a boy's name. Except for the most part girls spell it JaIMe and boys spell it JaMIe. Usually with guys, Jamie is a nickname for James.
CHAPTER ELEVEN: No More Stupid Titles: In which we finally near the end of this thing
*Dear Jamie,*
*I wish that there was a way I could prove to you just how SORRY I am that all of this had to happen. We really screwed up this time; now I realize that. I never in my life meant to hurt you. Never. I've thought of you as a little brother and as much of a team member as everyone else at the base from day one. I just wish I'd told you so. I know that there isn't anything I can really do to make up for everything we did to you, but hopefully this comes close. Or at the very least, it shows that I tried.*
*I hope you know that there is no way I could have known about your birthday, and that I would definitely NOT have forgotten if I did. No one ever told me. I wondered about it a couple of times, but I always figured Doc or somebody would have come around and told me when your birthday came. If I'd only known . . . I understand now why the whole idea of my birthday made you so angry. I wish I'd known then what I do now. I didn't mean to hurt you.*
*I do appreciate you, Jamie. I always have. So have the rest of us. We're absolutely falling apart here at the base without you around, in more ways than one. I wish there was some way I could show you how much we need you around on this team. I wish I could show you the kind of shape we're in now that you're gone. You're what holds us together, the person who keeps us up and running, right on track every step of the way. You're there to remind us of what we need to know, to bring us back down to reality when Doc or I starts to get too optimistic for our own good, or when Doc's eyes grow bigger than his wallet. It may not be clear to you, but without you around we wouldn't have gotten nearly as far as we did. I mean that. Ask anyone, and they'll agree with me. I miss you, Jamie. We all miss you.*
*Remember what I told you, because I mean it all. Every word. You are appreciated here; it's just that the rest of us were always too caught up in our own little lives to think to show it. You were always the modest one, the shy one, the only one around who'd even think to give something up for the sake of the team, and because of that we took you for granted and tossed you aside when we shouldn't have. I'm sorry, Jamie. Really sorry. It won't happen again. I promise.*
*Bit Cloud*
Tears streamed down poor Jamie's face after he finished reading the letter. He handed it to his father with a trembling hand and reached for a tissue.
Oscar placed his hand on Jamie's shoulder and kept it there as he read the letter. His face softened; he sat down beside his son on the hospital bed. There was silence for a moment as Jamie rubbed away a fresh round of tears.
"He seemed very worried about you when I talked to him last night," said Oscar gently.
"He - he," stuttered Jamie, "He went to all this trouble . . . for me?"
"Of course he did. You obviously mean a lot to him. There's no question in my mind that you certainly deserve it."
"I just wish I could thank him."
"Maybe you can."
Jamie looked up at his father, who just smiled and shrugged.
"Now, come on, let's see what he got you."
Jamie's hands were trembling much harder as he opened Bit's present than they had when he'd opened his father's. Inside he found a notebook, a spiral notebook with a beautiful picture of a Pteras standing poised magnificently. A brand new deck of playing cards sat on the cover, and slipped between the cover and the first page was a silver medallion with a Raynos carved onto it, hanging on a green canvas strap. Jamie hung it around his neck with violently shaking hands and beamed.
"What do you think?" he asked his father.
Oscar grinned. "I think it fits you, son."
"What's in the bag?"
Oscar stood up and crossed the room to the table. Jamie, who was still feeling weak almost to the point of exhaustion, watched curiously from his position in bed.
The former pilot unstuck the white card from the bag and read it aloud.
"I thought you might be more comfortable in these."
"What is it?"
Oscar took a peek inside. "It's your pajamas," he said with an amazed smile. "And I think he brought a set of your regular clothes, too."
"Really?"
"Yeah. But you'll probably have to wait until the Doctor and nurses say its okay before you put them on, though."
"Yeah, I know," said Jamie offhandedly. Frankly, right then he wouldn't have cared if the Doctor said he could never wear regular clothes again. The fact that Bit cared enough to think of it - to think of *him* - and go out of his way to bring them in for Jamie's sake meant more to the boy than one thousand birthday presents.
The cake was packed up and stored in the refrigerator, for later when Jamie was well enough to eat something so rich. Jamie had politely offered a piece to the nurses who came in to get it, but Oscar stubbornly maintained that the birthday boy was to have the first piece, and everyone else would have to wait until he was ready for it.
A request was made to the people at the reception desk that, if Bit Cloud were to show up in the lobby they should send him in to Jamie's hospital room to see the kid. However, Bit was the *only* person Jamie was feeling up to seeing at this point; no one else was to be allowed into his room just yet.
Sure enough, later that afternoon a very familiar blonde warrior poked his head through the door and tentatively entered the room.
The torrent of clashing emotions running through Bit's head was very apparent. They could easily see the intensity of the relief in his eyes, yet there was also the wild grief and the terrible regret at having been the one to do this to him. Part of him looked like he wanted to rush over and pull Jamie into a tight hug, but another was wary of even approaching the boy past two feet in front of the doorway. So for a few minutes he just hung there in the pregnant silence, looking relieved and angry and regretful and awkward and ecstatic at the same time.
"So," he said quietly. "How are you feeling, Jamie?"
Jamie shrugged, resting the back of his head against the wall behind the bed. "All right. A little better."
Bit smiled. "I'm just glad you're okay."
Jamie returned the smile. "Thanks for the presents and the cake . . . and my clothes," he said quietly. Making normal conversation was so hard. There was so much to skirt over, so much that they needed to see out in the open, but couldn't. This was why he hadn't wanted to face his team members. Too much fake politeness and awkward silence.
"It was nothing," replied Bit with a dismissive wave of the hand. "It was the least I could do." Suddenly, Bit seemed to abandon all previous thought and moved to sit in the chair next to Jamie's bed. Oscar observed quietly in the background.
"I just need to know . . . Jamie?" he said seriously, looking straight into the boy's gray eyes. "I need to know if you're going to be okay. How are you, really?"
Jamie's eyes shifted awkwardly. He shrugged. "Okay, I guess," he muttered to his sheets. "Considering, you know. I guess I'll be all right."
Bit nodded solemnly. "Do you . . . " he began, "Do you want to talk about it?"
Jamie bit his lip. "I, I guess I probably should. I mean, yeah I do, but . . . it's so hard to think about it."
He received a sober nod in reply. "I understand," said Bit, and Jamie had to marvel. This was a side to Bit he'd never seen before. He'd confided in the older warrior once or twice, but Bit's replies had always been so casual, so. laid back. His persona never really changed then. Now, however, it was as though the blonde had done a complete personality revamp. Jamie couldn't help but feel ashamed. What Bit must think of him now to be acting so completely different . . .
"What about you?" he asked. "Do *you* want to talk about it?"
"I'm ready to talk when you are, Jamie. It's not about what I want."
The two boys sat quietly together for a minute. Jamie opened his mouth, but found that words refused to form properly on his tongue.
"I-It's just that . . . I don't know, I - we just - I can't really . . . " Jamie stammered helplessly. Tiny heat prickles began to poke at the back of his eyes again and he panicked. He couldn't cry here! Not in front of Bit!
Thinking about it didn't do him any good; hot tears spilled over despite his efforts. He gave up trying to talk and focused on turning his head away so Bit wouldn't see how weak he really was. /Stop crying,/ he commanded himself. /Stop this, now./
Jamie's misty gray eyes widened in surprise when Bit's arms wrapped around his shoulders consolingly and hugged him. No one besides his father had ever hugged him since . . . since . . . as long as he could remember.
"I'm sorry," he rasped, more tears seeping into Bit's shoulder.
"For what?"
"I must seem like such a wimp right now, crying and all on you like this."
"No you don't, Jamie," replied Bit with quiet shock. "Of course you don't. How can you think like that? You have every right to cry. I'm the one who should be sorry."
Silence. "Thanks."
"For what?"
"For . . . everything. For the presents, and coming over to visit me. Thanks."
More silence.
"No problem. No problem at all."
* * *
Bit stayed with Jamie and Oscar for the rest of the afternoon. Only about a half an hour was spent on serious talk, but after that they mostly amused themselves with various three-person card games or Bit's pathetic attempts at building a house out of the deck, or just by sitting around and chatting like three old friends. Bit at Jamie's request then joined the two in their first ever counseling session that evening.
Dr. Harris was an extremely nice young blonde woman who smiled at each of the three as she came in. She was very friendly while explaining basically what she wanted to talk about with them, especially Jamie, and what she wanted to achieve. All three of the boys grew to like her quickly.
Bit attended every counseling session with Jamie and his dad after that. He wanted to be there to provide a comforting arm when Jamie cried, and he felt it his duty as part of the Blitz team to be here and repay everything he'd done to the kid.
The week progressed. Jamie recovered from the actual reaction and became strong enough to walk around the hospital on his own. They finally cut his birthday cake, which turned out to be rather good even though Bit admitted later that it was from a mix (he'd never actually baked a cake before), and shared a piece with many of the nurses and some of the other children staying in the pediatric ward.
Jamie seemed to be recovering emotionally as well, much to the delight of Oscar and Bit and the rest of the nurses. He didn't cry nearly as much outside of the counseling sessions, and was making friends with more than a few of the nurses. They simply loved him. When walking down the hallway late one night after Jamie had fallen asleep, Oscar overheard three or four of them talking in the nurses station. He didn't pay much attention to what they were saying until he heard one of them say something about "that cutie in room 107." He froze and kept listening.
"Yeah, him. He is so adorable, that poor child."
"I know! He's always so polite when he asks for something, it just makes me want to melt!"
"You just don't find kids like him anymore."
There were several murmurs of agreement. Oscar, not wanting to be spotted eavesdropping, continued down the hall with a small smile on his face.
Sometimes Jamie and Oscar stayed up fairly late talking. Just talking. They'd both face each other in their cots across the room and whisper well into the night. It had been so long since they'd gotten to spend quality time together; the two had a lot to catch up on. It was nice to have someone to feel so close to. A family again. Jamie liked it.
All in all, things looked better and better with each passing day. Counseling sessions were going well, Jamie and Bit were now like inseparable brothers, and Jamie himself was happier than he had ever been. He was learning self-confidence, a trait of which he had never possessed much. He was learning to express what he wanted and to believe in himself rather than just rely on a bunch of computers.
Dr. Harris also faced him with one major decision, one she said that - though he could discuss it with his father and Bit as much as he wanted - in the end would be entirely his own. At the end of the week the rest of the Blitz team, Doc included, would be attending an hour long counseling session with Jamie, Oscar and Bit. It was Jamie's decision weather after the session was over he would leave the Blitz team for good and live with his father, or give his team mates a second chance and remain at the Base. Were he to stay with the Blitz team, many things would change about their lifestyle of course.
Jamie spent a long time brooding over this. At first it had seemed so easy. Who needed a life where all you were was a homebody? Who needed to stand around and be treated like a worthless slave all the time? And he hadn't realized until this point just how much he'd missed his father. To finally get to see him after so long and to get to spend so much time with him over the week was something Jamie loved. He wasn't exactly thrilled about parting with him again. He knew he'd miss his dad much more now if he chose to go back.
But then again . . . what about Bit? He and Bit had become closer than ever over the past week, like brothers it seemed. Jamie had never had any siblings and he kind of liked the protectiveness and affection one got from an older brother. He knew that he'd miss Bit terribly if he left the Blitz team, just as much as he knew Bit would miss him. Jamie was also certain that, how ever many times he told him otherwise, Bit would continue to blame himself for the loss of the Blitz team's strategist. That's just the way he'd been these past couple of days. It would really hurt him to see Jamie go.
And what about Zoid battles? His father had assured him that the Raynos would come with him were he to move in with his father, but he wouldn't get to fight anymore. Not that he fought a whole ton on the Blitz team. Still, it would hurt like nothing else to watch the Blitz team grow and strive in Class S without him. He loved Zoid battles, weather he was attempting to fight with his Pteras, or the Wild Eagle was fighting for him in the Raynos, or even if he was just observing the battle from the Hover Cargo. It would hurt to give up all of that.
The indecision plagued him for the whole week, but despite that he found himself happier than he'd been in ages - almost years - and the week seemed to fly by.
Before he knew it, the sun was creeping through the window the morning before he was to face Doc, Leena and Brad, the morning his decision would have to be made. Jamie gritted his teeth. He still wasn't completely confident about his decision yet.
Oscar left for the hospital cafeteria, promising to bring back something even though Jamie insisted he wasn't hungry. He needed time alone to think about what was going to happen. It was strange to think that tonight, one way or the other, he wouldn't be sleeping in this same room anymore. Not that he minded leaving the hospital. It was just the certain stability that he had found here that he knew would be harder to hold onto once he left.
Jamie hugged his knees to his chest. He didn't look up when the door opened. His fierce gaze at the bed sheets didn't move even when he felt the depression in the mattress; someone sitting beside him on the edge of the bed.
"Hey, Jamie."
"Hi, Bit."
"You okay?"
"Yeah. Just thinking."
There was a long silence. Bit put his hand on Jamie's shoulder.
"I . . . look, I never told you this, because I was afraid of hurting you. The whole week you seemed so happy, and I didn't want to bring it all back up when you didn't want to talk about it."
"What?"
"I . . . well, I followed you one of those nights. You know, after the first night when you passed out and all of that. I was worried about what was happening to you, so I followed you into town. I saw you with - that guy. You were talking to him."
Jamie suddenly looked up. "You followed me?"
"Yeah. I'm really sorry. I was worried about you. I wanted to make sure you were okay. It was just that one time."
"You were worried about me?"
"Yeah."
A pause. "Wow. I, I had no idea."
"Actually . . . "
"Actually what?"
"It wasn't just that one time."
"You followed me again?"
"Just one other time. I was really worried about you then. You were just so *mad* at everyone, and I was scared. I wanted to make sure you were okay. Actually, I didn't really follow you, not right away. I kind of stood there for a while like a complete idiot, wondering if I should just let you sort it all out on your own or if I should try to talk to you. Then I went to the same town you always went to, that same restaurant I found you and that old guy at, but you weren't there. I should have gone after you sooner. I really should have. I screwed up a lot that week. I was lucky. *You* were lucky. I'm just glad it all worked out okay."
Jamie didn't look up. He couldn't speak. Bit knew he understood.
"Look, Jamie, whatever happens, promise me one thing."
"What's that?"
"Promise me you'll never, ever, *ever* try anything like that again. No matter what happens. You have your dad, you'll always have me . . . just don't do it again, okay?"
"Okay."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
"Good."
Another pause longer than the first.
"Bit?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks."
"Anytime, Jamie. Anytime."
* * *
Sometime in the late morning Jamie found his father sitting alone on his bed in the room. Bit had gone somewhere with the promise to return before the afternoon, and Jamie knew it was time to say his decision.
He entered the room quietly.
"Dad?"
Oscar looked up. "Oh. Hi, Jamie."
Jamie crossed the room quietly and sat next to his father on the bed. Oscar waited for him to speak, watching him with loving and supporting eyes.
"I . . . I've made my decision. I know what I want to do."
"Really?"
"Yeah." Jamie bit his lip. Tears flooded his eyes. He hugged his father tightly on impulse. "I love you, dad."
Oscar hugged Jamie back just as tightly and ran his hand up and down Jamie's back. "I love you too, son."
END CHAPTER ELEVEN
NEXT CHAPTER: The Last Chapter Before the Epilogue: Jamie announces his decision and faces the Blitz team. Well, everyone except Bit because . . . yeah. You know what happens. I'm going to shut up now.
A/N: Do you think you know what happens? Review. I don't think you do. Review. But please don't guess because that ruins it. Review. Just tell me how I'm doing. Review. Coffee is a very good thing. Review. Especially that Vanilla blended ice coffee from the Coffee Exchange at the mall . . . *dreamy smile* Ahh. Life is good. Review.
A/N: I'm sorry! This is getting really long, compared to the fanfiction that I'm used to writing. The original stories I've written are pretty long, but I think this is the longest non-original piece I've written. And no, this is not the last chapter. I still have more to come. (Like one, and an epilogue.) Thank you, thank you, thank you to those who reviewed! They are very much appreciated. Keep it up!
For some strange reason, in the last couple of chapters the whole concept of three dots in a row to signalize someone trailing off has not been posting correctly. I skim the story over and in its place all I see is one dot. That was not meant to happen. I'm trying something this chapter, and I seriously hope it works . . .
Vulpick: Jamie is both a girl's and a boy's name. Except for the most part girls spell it JaIMe and boys spell it JaMIe. Usually with guys, Jamie is a nickname for James.
CHAPTER ELEVEN: No More Stupid Titles: In which we finally near the end of this thing
*Dear Jamie,*
*I wish that there was a way I could prove to you just how SORRY I am that all of this had to happen. We really screwed up this time; now I realize that. I never in my life meant to hurt you. Never. I've thought of you as a little brother and as much of a team member as everyone else at the base from day one. I just wish I'd told you so. I know that there isn't anything I can really do to make up for everything we did to you, but hopefully this comes close. Or at the very least, it shows that I tried.*
*I hope you know that there is no way I could have known about your birthday, and that I would definitely NOT have forgotten if I did. No one ever told me. I wondered about it a couple of times, but I always figured Doc or somebody would have come around and told me when your birthday came. If I'd only known . . . I understand now why the whole idea of my birthday made you so angry. I wish I'd known then what I do now. I didn't mean to hurt you.*
*I do appreciate you, Jamie. I always have. So have the rest of us. We're absolutely falling apart here at the base without you around, in more ways than one. I wish there was some way I could show you how much we need you around on this team. I wish I could show you the kind of shape we're in now that you're gone. You're what holds us together, the person who keeps us up and running, right on track every step of the way. You're there to remind us of what we need to know, to bring us back down to reality when Doc or I starts to get too optimistic for our own good, or when Doc's eyes grow bigger than his wallet. It may not be clear to you, but without you around we wouldn't have gotten nearly as far as we did. I mean that. Ask anyone, and they'll agree with me. I miss you, Jamie. We all miss you.*
*Remember what I told you, because I mean it all. Every word. You are appreciated here; it's just that the rest of us were always too caught up in our own little lives to think to show it. You were always the modest one, the shy one, the only one around who'd even think to give something up for the sake of the team, and because of that we took you for granted and tossed you aside when we shouldn't have. I'm sorry, Jamie. Really sorry. It won't happen again. I promise.*
*Bit Cloud*
Tears streamed down poor Jamie's face after he finished reading the letter. He handed it to his father with a trembling hand and reached for a tissue.
Oscar placed his hand on Jamie's shoulder and kept it there as he read the letter. His face softened; he sat down beside his son on the hospital bed. There was silence for a moment as Jamie rubbed away a fresh round of tears.
"He seemed very worried about you when I talked to him last night," said Oscar gently.
"He - he," stuttered Jamie, "He went to all this trouble . . . for me?"
"Of course he did. You obviously mean a lot to him. There's no question in my mind that you certainly deserve it."
"I just wish I could thank him."
"Maybe you can."
Jamie looked up at his father, who just smiled and shrugged.
"Now, come on, let's see what he got you."
Jamie's hands were trembling much harder as he opened Bit's present than they had when he'd opened his father's. Inside he found a notebook, a spiral notebook with a beautiful picture of a Pteras standing poised magnificently. A brand new deck of playing cards sat on the cover, and slipped between the cover and the first page was a silver medallion with a Raynos carved onto it, hanging on a green canvas strap. Jamie hung it around his neck with violently shaking hands and beamed.
"What do you think?" he asked his father.
Oscar grinned. "I think it fits you, son."
"What's in the bag?"
Oscar stood up and crossed the room to the table. Jamie, who was still feeling weak almost to the point of exhaustion, watched curiously from his position in bed.
The former pilot unstuck the white card from the bag and read it aloud.
"I thought you might be more comfortable in these."
"What is it?"
Oscar took a peek inside. "It's your pajamas," he said with an amazed smile. "And I think he brought a set of your regular clothes, too."
"Really?"
"Yeah. But you'll probably have to wait until the Doctor and nurses say its okay before you put them on, though."
"Yeah, I know," said Jamie offhandedly. Frankly, right then he wouldn't have cared if the Doctor said he could never wear regular clothes again. The fact that Bit cared enough to think of it - to think of *him* - and go out of his way to bring them in for Jamie's sake meant more to the boy than one thousand birthday presents.
The cake was packed up and stored in the refrigerator, for later when Jamie was well enough to eat something so rich. Jamie had politely offered a piece to the nurses who came in to get it, but Oscar stubbornly maintained that the birthday boy was to have the first piece, and everyone else would have to wait until he was ready for it.
A request was made to the people at the reception desk that, if Bit Cloud were to show up in the lobby they should send him in to Jamie's hospital room to see the kid. However, Bit was the *only* person Jamie was feeling up to seeing at this point; no one else was to be allowed into his room just yet.
Sure enough, later that afternoon a very familiar blonde warrior poked his head through the door and tentatively entered the room.
The torrent of clashing emotions running through Bit's head was very apparent. They could easily see the intensity of the relief in his eyes, yet there was also the wild grief and the terrible regret at having been the one to do this to him. Part of him looked like he wanted to rush over and pull Jamie into a tight hug, but another was wary of even approaching the boy past two feet in front of the doorway. So for a few minutes he just hung there in the pregnant silence, looking relieved and angry and regretful and awkward and ecstatic at the same time.
"So," he said quietly. "How are you feeling, Jamie?"
Jamie shrugged, resting the back of his head against the wall behind the bed. "All right. A little better."
Bit smiled. "I'm just glad you're okay."
Jamie returned the smile. "Thanks for the presents and the cake . . . and my clothes," he said quietly. Making normal conversation was so hard. There was so much to skirt over, so much that they needed to see out in the open, but couldn't. This was why he hadn't wanted to face his team members. Too much fake politeness and awkward silence.
"It was nothing," replied Bit with a dismissive wave of the hand. "It was the least I could do." Suddenly, Bit seemed to abandon all previous thought and moved to sit in the chair next to Jamie's bed. Oscar observed quietly in the background.
"I just need to know . . . Jamie?" he said seriously, looking straight into the boy's gray eyes. "I need to know if you're going to be okay. How are you, really?"
Jamie's eyes shifted awkwardly. He shrugged. "Okay, I guess," he muttered to his sheets. "Considering, you know. I guess I'll be all right."
Bit nodded solemnly. "Do you . . . " he began, "Do you want to talk about it?"
Jamie bit his lip. "I, I guess I probably should. I mean, yeah I do, but . . . it's so hard to think about it."
He received a sober nod in reply. "I understand," said Bit, and Jamie had to marvel. This was a side to Bit he'd never seen before. He'd confided in the older warrior once or twice, but Bit's replies had always been so casual, so. laid back. His persona never really changed then. Now, however, it was as though the blonde had done a complete personality revamp. Jamie couldn't help but feel ashamed. What Bit must think of him now to be acting so completely different . . .
"What about you?" he asked. "Do *you* want to talk about it?"
"I'm ready to talk when you are, Jamie. It's not about what I want."
The two boys sat quietly together for a minute. Jamie opened his mouth, but found that words refused to form properly on his tongue.
"I-It's just that . . . I don't know, I - we just - I can't really . . . " Jamie stammered helplessly. Tiny heat prickles began to poke at the back of his eyes again and he panicked. He couldn't cry here! Not in front of Bit!
Thinking about it didn't do him any good; hot tears spilled over despite his efforts. He gave up trying to talk and focused on turning his head away so Bit wouldn't see how weak he really was. /Stop crying,/ he commanded himself. /Stop this, now./
Jamie's misty gray eyes widened in surprise when Bit's arms wrapped around his shoulders consolingly and hugged him. No one besides his father had ever hugged him since . . . since . . . as long as he could remember.
"I'm sorry," he rasped, more tears seeping into Bit's shoulder.
"For what?"
"I must seem like such a wimp right now, crying and all on you like this."
"No you don't, Jamie," replied Bit with quiet shock. "Of course you don't. How can you think like that? You have every right to cry. I'm the one who should be sorry."
Silence. "Thanks."
"For what?"
"For . . . everything. For the presents, and coming over to visit me. Thanks."
More silence.
"No problem. No problem at all."
* * *
Bit stayed with Jamie and Oscar for the rest of the afternoon. Only about a half an hour was spent on serious talk, but after that they mostly amused themselves with various three-person card games or Bit's pathetic attempts at building a house out of the deck, or just by sitting around and chatting like three old friends. Bit at Jamie's request then joined the two in their first ever counseling session that evening.
Dr. Harris was an extremely nice young blonde woman who smiled at each of the three as she came in. She was very friendly while explaining basically what she wanted to talk about with them, especially Jamie, and what she wanted to achieve. All three of the boys grew to like her quickly.
Bit attended every counseling session with Jamie and his dad after that. He wanted to be there to provide a comforting arm when Jamie cried, and he felt it his duty as part of the Blitz team to be here and repay everything he'd done to the kid.
The week progressed. Jamie recovered from the actual reaction and became strong enough to walk around the hospital on his own. They finally cut his birthday cake, which turned out to be rather good even though Bit admitted later that it was from a mix (he'd never actually baked a cake before), and shared a piece with many of the nurses and some of the other children staying in the pediatric ward.
Jamie seemed to be recovering emotionally as well, much to the delight of Oscar and Bit and the rest of the nurses. He didn't cry nearly as much outside of the counseling sessions, and was making friends with more than a few of the nurses. They simply loved him. When walking down the hallway late one night after Jamie had fallen asleep, Oscar overheard three or four of them talking in the nurses station. He didn't pay much attention to what they were saying until he heard one of them say something about "that cutie in room 107." He froze and kept listening.
"Yeah, him. He is so adorable, that poor child."
"I know! He's always so polite when he asks for something, it just makes me want to melt!"
"You just don't find kids like him anymore."
There were several murmurs of agreement. Oscar, not wanting to be spotted eavesdropping, continued down the hall with a small smile on his face.
Sometimes Jamie and Oscar stayed up fairly late talking. Just talking. They'd both face each other in their cots across the room and whisper well into the night. It had been so long since they'd gotten to spend quality time together; the two had a lot to catch up on. It was nice to have someone to feel so close to. A family again. Jamie liked it.
All in all, things looked better and better with each passing day. Counseling sessions were going well, Jamie and Bit were now like inseparable brothers, and Jamie himself was happier than he had ever been. He was learning self-confidence, a trait of which he had never possessed much. He was learning to express what he wanted and to believe in himself rather than just rely on a bunch of computers.
Dr. Harris also faced him with one major decision, one she said that - though he could discuss it with his father and Bit as much as he wanted - in the end would be entirely his own. At the end of the week the rest of the Blitz team, Doc included, would be attending an hour long counseling session with Jamie, Oscar and Bit. It was Jamie's decision weather after the session was over he would leave the Blitz team for good and live with his father, or give his team mates a second chance and remain at the Base. Were he to stay with the Blitz team, many things would change about their lifestyle of course.
Jamie spent a long time brooding over this. At first it had seemed so easy. Who needed a life where all you were was a homebody? Who needed to stand around and be treated like a worthless slave all the time? And he hadn't realized until this point just how much he'd missed his father. To finally get to see him after so long and to get to spend so much time with him over the week was something Jamie loved. He wasn't exactly thrilled about parting with him again. He knew he'd miss his dad much more now if he chose to go back.
But then again . . . what about Bit? He and Bit had become closer than ever over the past week, like brothers it seemed. Jamie had never had any siblings and he kind of liked the protectiveness and affection one got from an older brother. He knew that he'd miss Bit terribly if he left the Blitz team, just as much as he knew Bit would miss him. Jamie was also certain that, how ever many times he told him otherwise, Bit would continue to blame himself for the loss of the Blitz team's strategist. That's just the way he'd been these past couple of days. It would really hurt him to see Jamie go.
And what about Zoid battles? His father had assured him that the Raynos would come with him were he to move in with his father, but he wouldn't get to fight anymore. Not that he fought a whole ton on the Blitz team. Still, it would hurt like nothing else to watch the Blitz team grow and strive in Class S without him. He loved Zoid battles, weather he was attempting to fight with his Pteras, or the Wild Eagle was fighting for him in the Raynos, or even if he was just observing the battle from the Hover Cargo. It would hurt to give up all of that.
The indecision plagued him for the whole week, but despite that he found himself happier than he'd been in ages - almost years - and the week seemed to fly by.
Before he knew it, the sun was creeping through the window the morning before he was to face Doc, Leena and Brad, the morning his decision would have to be made. Jamie gritted his teeth. He still wasn't completely confident about his decision yet.
Oscar left for the hospital cafeteria, promising to bring back something even though Jamie insisted he wasn't hungry. He needed time alone to think about what was going to happen. It was strange to think that tonight, one way or the other, he wouldn't be sleeping in this same room anymore. Not that he minded leaving the hospital. It was just the certain stability that he had found here that he knew would be harder to hold onto once he left.
Jamie hugged his knees to his chest. He didn't look up when the door opened. His fierce gaze at the bed sheets didn't move even when he felt the depression in the mattress; someone sitting beside him on the edge of the bed.
"Hey, Jamie."
"Hi, Bit."
"You okay?"
"Yeah. Just thinking."
There was a long silence. Bit put his hand on Jamie's shoulder.
"I . . . look, I never told you this, because I was afraid of hurting you. The whole week you seemed so happy, and I didn't want to bring it all back up when you didn't want to talk about it."
"What?"
"I . . . well, I followed you one of those nights. You know, after the first night when you passed out and all of that. I was worried about what was happening to you, so I followed you into town. I saw you with - that guy. You were talking to him."
Jamie suddenly looked up. "You followed me?"
"Yeah. I'm really sorry. I was worried about you. I wanted to make sure you were okay. It was just that one time."
"You were worried about me?"
"Yeah."
A pause. "Wow. I, I had no idea."
"Actually . . . "
"Actually what?"
"It wasn't just that one time."
"You followed me again?"
"Just one other time. I was really worried about you then. You were just so *mad* at everyone, and I was scared. I wanted to make sure you were okay. Actually, I didn't really follow you, not right away. I kind of stood there for a while like a complete idiot, wondering if I should just let you sort it all out on your own or if I should try to talk to you. Then I went to the same town you always went to, that same restaurant I found you and that old guy at, but you weren't there. I should have gone after you sooner. I really should have. I screwed up a lot that week. I was lucky. *You* were lucky. I'm just glad it all worked out okay."
Jamie didn't look up. He couldn't speak. Bit knew he understood.
"Look, Jamie, whatever happens, promise me one thing."
"What's that?"
"Promise me you'll never, ever, *ever* try anything like that again. No matter what happens. You have your dad, you'll always have me . . . just don't do it again, okay?"
"Okay."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
"Good."
Another pause longer than the first.
"Bit?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks."
"Anytime, Jamie. Anytime."
* * *
Sometime in the late morning Jamie found his father sitting alone on his bed in the room. Bit had gone somewhere with the promise to return before the afternoon, and Jamie knew it was time to say his decision.
He entered the room quietly.
"Dad?"
Oscar looked up. "Oh. Hi, Jamie."
Jamie crossed the room quietly and sat next to his father on the bed. Oscar waited for him to speak, watching him with loving and supporting eyes.
"I . . . I've made my decision. I know what I want to do."
"Really?"
"Yeah." Jamie bit his lip. Tears flooded his eyes. He hugged his father tightly on impulse. "I love you, dad."
Oscar hugged Jamie back just as tightly and ran his hand up and down Jamie's back. "I love you too, son."
END CHAPTER ELEVEN
NEXT CHAPTER: The Last Chapter Before the Epilogue: Jamie announces his decision and faces the Blitz team. Well, everyone except Bit because . . . yeah. You know what happens. I'm going to shut up now.
A/N: Do you think you know what happens? Review. I don't think you do. Review. But please don't guess because that ruins it. Review. Just tell me how I'm doing. Review. Coffee is a very good thing. Review. Especially that Vanilla blended ice coffee from the Coffee Exchange at the mall . . . *dreamy smile* Ahh. Life is good. Review.