DISCLAIMER: Right. I don't own Zoids. We've been through this. If I owned
Zoids Jamie would have a girlfriend and Vega would either not exist or be
about five years older. (Don't even get me started on him.) But I don't
own them. Any of them. The Cunning Wolf is mine, but just ask permission
and he can be in your story too. I'm sure he'd like that. I am not making
any money off of this story. No infringement is intended.
CHAPTER TWELVE: We are far beyond the point of using titles
Brad, Leena and the Doc hadn't yet arrived when Oscar, Bit and Jamie reached Dr. Harris' office. For some reason Jamie's heart was fluttering in his chest. This would be the first time he'd seen the rest of his team since they'd found out about his birthday. There was so much he'd been dying to know. What was their reaction to finding out that they'd forgotten? Did they feel bad? Did they care? Had they been worrying about him? Did anyone at the base even know how to do laundry? He hadn't wanted to ask Bit anything because he didn't want to seem too inquisitive.
Jamie sat between Bit and his father on the couch on one side of the room and waited in the nervous silence. Frightening questions began to plague his mind. What if they didn't show up? What if they'd forgotten about this, too? What if they showed up, but didn't say anything to Dr. Harris? What if they tried to make it seem like *Jamie's* fault? Would she believe them? If it weren't for Bit's encouraging presence at his side, Jamie may very well have lost his mind with nervousness.
His heart jumped into his throat upon the swish that indicated someone entering the room. He quickly looked down. Something prevented him from looking even out of the corner of his eye at the three people now just on the other side of the room. His cheeks began to burn; he focused all his energy on studying the edge of the couch cushion. There was a small frayed patch on the seam. When had that happened? Did Dr. Harris know it was there? Was she going to repair it, or would she just leave it there for patients like him to look at?
"Jamie?" said Dr. Harris quietly. "Jamie?"
Jamie looked up slowly, unable to speak. Leena and the Doc were seated in two wooden chairs just opposite the big couch. Leena was leaning forward, studying his expression carefully while at the same time trying to give him a small smile. Doc just looked old. New wrinkles had found their way into his expression - had those gray patches always been there in the roots of his hair? His sad eyes watched Jamie carefully.
"Hi, Jamie," said Leena quietly. Neither Jamie nor the Doc spoke.
Brad remained equally as silent. Jamie found, to little surprise, that the older warrior was leaning against the wall right next to the door, his arms folded casually and his normal "I'm-Brad-and-I-don't-care" expression watching the floor. He didn't want to be here. At least he wasn't trying to pretend he did. Jamie was almost glad for the sincerity in his manner.
Dr. Harris broke the tense silence, much to Jamie's relief. He'd vowed to himself that morning that he *wouldn't* cry today, not for a minute would he let the Torros's and Brad see his tears, but his vow had been in vain. The familiar hot sting flooded his gray eyes not a minute after Dr. Harris began speaking, and the tears refused to stop their relentless flow after that.
Jamie cried for the entire hour. Everything that was said brought back another painful wave of memories, another bout of shame in himself for being so weak-minded, another pang of guilt for having put his father through all of this. Until at one point he surrendered himself and just buried his face in his hands and sobbed. His dad and Bit's hands on his shoulders and back did little to comfort him now. He vaguely registered the sound of a chair shifting on the other side of the room, but paid it little attention.
Arms wrapped themselves around his neck. Bare arms, thinner than those of Bit or his father. Someone was kneeling on the floor in front of him, holding him tightly in a comforting embrace.
"I'm sorry, Jamie," whispered a sorrowful female voice into his ear, "Zi, Jamie, I'm so sorry."
It was Leena. She was crying too.
Jamie returned the hug and drew back for a moment to study her tear stained face. Her lavender eyes were misty and filled with remorse as she looked up at the poor lost kid in front of her whom she had never learned to appreciate.
Jamie learned a lot in that one hour. More than he'd gotten out of sitting with only Bit and Oscar the previous few days. He learned that Doc really *did* have confidence in his abilities, but that he just wasn't old enough to bring out his own potential yet. He learned that Leena had actually remembered his birthday, but in her own preoccupation had never gotten around to doing anything about it, and had felt *terrible* when she realized what had happened. He learned that Bit was not the only one of the opinion that the Blitz team really needed him around in order to run smoothly. He saw that through all the times when he'd just been sitting there in the background or doing all the little housework or tech work for the team, his older teammates really had cared. They just needed to learn to show it.
Brad didn't utter a single word the entire time. Had it been anyone else, Bit would have been extremely angry, more so than he already was. But Brad was Brad, and sometimes you just had to take him for what he was.
It wasn't until after the hour was up and Jamie walking between his father and Bit down the front steps of the hospital that Brad finally talked to him.
"Hey, Jamie."
Jamie paused at the base of the steps and turned around. Bit, Leena, Oscar and the Doc watched silently.
"Yeah?"
Brad stepped up to the younger boy casually. "Look, Jamie, I just wanted to say thanks. You've done a lot for us over the past year, and we all really appreciate it. Thanks for being there for us, Jamie."
He gave Jamie a small smile. Jamie shrugged awkwardly at the moment but smiled back. To get a simple thanks from Brad was definitely something. Brad didn't really do gratitude. Jamie supposed he should be thankful for this.
"Jamie."
Another voice called him. This time it was that of his father. The two Wild Eagle's faced each other for a moment as it really hit them both. This was it. Both of them blinked hard.
A small breeze tousled Oscar's dark hair. He put a hand on Jamie's shoulder. "Take care of yourself now, son. I don't want to hear about any of this happening again."
"I will," replied Jamie.
"I mean it. Contact me if things even look like they're going to return to the way they were before. Heck, contact me even if they don't. I want to talk to you more. I want to know what's going on."
"I will, dad."
"Good."
Jamie swallowed tearfully.
"I'll see you, then," said Oscar.
"Yeah."
"Aw," said Oscar with a grin, "Come here." He gave Jamie one last tight bear hug. Jamie smiled into his father's leather jacket. He desperately wanted him to stay, at least for a little longer. Part of him was even second-guessing his choice now. But he knew what he had to do. It was better this way.
"I love you, Jamie."
"I love you too, dad."
They reluctantly broke apart. Jamie rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand as he stepped back. It hurt so much to see his father go. He was going to miss him bitterly.
Someone's hand squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. Dr. Torros smiled down at him.
"Oscar," he said solemnly.
"Torros," came the neutral reply.
Jamie looked from his dad, to the Doc and back again. There was something silent passing between the two men that he couldn't understand. Something had been talked about between them in private, though he couldn't think of possibly when. All he could see was that - although they were not the best of friends that they were before - Oscar was no longer so angry and the Doc could look him in the eye. They were being formal to each other, curt but polite in their exchange.
"Take care of my son, will you, Torros?"
"Sure thing, Oscar."
The Blitz team stood together for the first time in a long while and watched Oscar's Pteras take off. Jamie especially watched the small blue Zoid until it was a speck against the sunset and then disappeared. He sat in silence for the ride home.
That evening found Bit and Jamie in the tactics room working out the final details and paperwork for the rescheduled battle against the Stinger Team. It was tedious work, but with Bit at his side it seemed to get done much quicker. Doc and Leena, possibly with Brad's help, were in the kitchen making dinner. This made Jamie more than a little nervous.
"Ah, don't worry about it," said Bit with a laugh. "They'll be fine in there. Doc owns this place, doesn't he?"
"That doesn't mean anything. Can you imagine what trouble they could be getting into in there without my help?"
"True. But hey, you know that if they screw up we can still order out."
"I guess so. I hate to think of the mess they're making, though."
"So they'll clean it up."
"Doc? And Leena? Wish I could be so confident."
"So then I'll clean up. Simple as that."
Jamie's eyebrows shot up. He said nothing, but part of him marveled at the fact that the old Bit would *never* have said something like that. It just went to show how much they had changed since he had last been here.
"We're all set with the Schneider," said Bit, looking down at a clipboard and searching for a pen. "I got it all set up before the battle was postponed."
Jamie bit his lip. He wanted to say it. He knew he should, that it was for the good of the battle and the good of the team. But it was so hard. . . he didn't want to have gone through all of this just to have Bit ignore him like he had before.
"Actually . . . "
"What is it?"
"I was thinking that . . . I don't know. I just had an idea. You don't have to listen to me if you don't want to."
"Oh, come on, Jamie. Go for it. I want to hear it. You're our strategist, after all."
Jamie took a steadying breath and explained the reasoning behind his idea of using the Jager. Bit was looking thoughtful when he finished.
"You know," he said, "That's a good point. I think you may be onto something there, Jamie. You should tell the Doc when he comes in. Don't know why I didn't think of it before."
Jamie smiled to himself.
Dr. Torros had pretty much the same reaction as Bit to Jamie's idea when he entered the tactic's room. He smiled and scratched his chin thoughtfully.
"That's a good idea. It would change our strategy around a bit, but it looks like it could work out better than the Schneider would. You have a good eye for seeing this stuff, Jamie."
Jamie couldn't help but grin. "The Stinger's strong points are in the sheer indestructibility of their shielding and their armor," he started to explain. "They're almost like flying Elephanders because none but their own stinger missiles, and that includes the arsenals on the real Elephander, can penetrate their defenses. The Schneider wouldn't be much use on the battlefield because piercing armor and slicing through shields is precisely what its strengths are. It would be sort of pointless to have it on the field with weapons that can't do any damage to the enemy."
"What about the Panzer?" asked the Doc. "Do you think it would be any good out there?"
Jamie started to respond, but stopped with his mouth open. Something was very different. Everyone in the room - sure it was just Bit and the Doc, but still - was actually listening to him. Not just listening to him, but interested in what he had to say and taking his ideas into consideration. He wasn't just talking to get the information out of him, he was talking so that the others would hear it and act on it. When was the last time this had happened? He almost laughed out loud; the feeling was so good.
"Jamie?" prodded the Doc.
"Oh, right," Jamie shook his head. "I've looked over the weapons and arsenals on the Panzer, and it doesn't look like even it would be able to do much damaged to the outer armor on the Stingers. And even if it could inflict some damage, it would make the Liger Zero too heavy to move out of the way when a stinger missile is heading in its direction. Only the Jager would be able to do that."
"So how would we fight them on offense?" asked Bit.
"Well," said Jamie in reply. "It looks to me like the best way to do that would be to trick them into accidentally shooting each other with their own weapons. As far as I can see, if a Stinger Hornet was to be hit with its own missile, it would cause the same system freeze that it would in any other Zoid."
"But how are we supposed to do that from the ground?"
"That's where the problems start. It's going to be very difficult to pull off, that's for sure. I've been looking mainly at the agility and the height that the Shadow Fox and the Liger Zero can reach when they jump, and I've worked out a couple of moves you could try that might work. The Gunsniper isn't fast enough to really do much in that area except create a diversion. Though, with the Stinger's lack of maneuverability even in mid- air, you may be able to trick one of them into flying into the cliff face. It would be a long shot, but if it works it would cause considerable damage to their outer armor."
Doc studied the screen for a moment. He knew, and he was pretty sure Bit did too, what needed to be done to really claim a hold on the battle.
"Jamie?" he said carefully.
"Yeah?"
"Would it be easier to follow this strategy if we had you and your Raynos out there on the battlefield?"
Jamie was silent for a total minute. Shock was written all over his features.
"The battle mode is 0982, Doc," he replied. "We can only have three Zoids out there."
"I know that. Would it be easier to have you in an aerial Zoid out there instead of one of the others?"
Jamie's jaw dropped. No one . . . never . . . he never went into battle unless they needed four or one of them couldn't fight. He was never asked to go in as a regular warrior. Never. It just wasn't done.
"I . . . I guess it would. Having an air Zoid would certainly make things simpler."
"Then it's settled," said the Doc in a final tone of voice. "We use the Jager and the Raynos. You should probably replace Leena; the Gunsniper isn't very maneuverable like you said and the smoke discharger on the Shadow Fox may come in handy in battle. That's only if you're willing to do this, of course."
Jamie couldn't believe what he was hearing. Not only had he been asked to go into a battle as a regular warrior, but Doc - *Doc* - had asked him to replace *his own daughter*. Jamie had to pinch himself to see if he wasn't dreaming this all up.
"O-okay, Doc," he said weakly.
Bit beamed. "That's the spirit, Jamie!" he cried. "We're going to do great!"
Doc smiled.
"Come on," he told the two warriors, "Let's go back and have dinner."
The work was abandoned for the moment as the three left the room in comfortable silence.
END CHAPTER TWELVE
NEXT CHAPTER: Epilogue: We will be officially done! Go ahead, cheer. I see you. I don't care. :P This was getting way long, I know that.
Review please!!! And yes, the outcome of the battle *will* be told, so don't ask.
CHAPTER TWELVE: We are far beyond the point of using titles
Brad, Leena and the Doc hadn't yet arrived when Oscar, Bit and Jamie reached Dr. Harris' office. For some reason Jamie's heart was fluttering in his chest. This would be the first time he'd seen the rest of his team since they'd found out about his birthday. There was so much he'd been dying to know. What was their reaction to finding out that they'd forgotten? Did they feel bad? Did they care? Had they been worrying about him? Did anyone at the base even know how to do laundry? He hadn't wanted to ask Bit anything because he didn't want to seem too inquisitive.
Jamie sat between Bit and his father on the couch on one side of the room and waited in the nervous silence. Frightening questions began to plague his mind. What if they didn't show up? What if they'd forgotten about this, too? What if they showed up, but didn't say anything to Dr. Harris? What if they tried to make it seem like *Jamie's* fault? Would she believe them? If it weren't for Bit's encouraging presence at his side, Jamie may very well have lost his mind with nervousness.
His heart jumped into his throat upon the swish that indicated someone entering the room. He quickly looked down. Something prevented him from looking even out of the corner of his eye at the three people now just on the other side of the room. His cheeks began to burn; he focused all his energy on studying the edge of the couch cushion. There was a small frayed patch on the seam. When had that happened? Did Dr. Harris know it was there? Was she going to repair it, or would she just leave it there for patients like him to look at?
"Jamie?" said Dr. Harris quietly. "Jamie?"
Jamie looked up slowly, unable to speak. Leena and the Doc were seated in two wooden chairs just opposite the big couch. Leena was leaning forward, studying his expression carefully while at the same time trying to give him a small smile. Doc just looked old. New wrinkles had found their way into his expression - had those gray patches always been there in the roots of his hair? His sad eyes watched Jamie carefully.
"Hi, Jamie," said Leena quietly. Neither Jamie nor the Doc spoke.
Brad remained equally as silent. Jamie found, to little surprise, that the older warrior was leaning against the wall right next to the door, his arms folded casually and his normal "I'm-Brad-and-I-don't-care" expression watching the floor. He didn't want to be here. At least he wasn't trying to pretend he did. Jamie was almost glad for the sincerity in his manner.
Dr. Harris broke the tense silence, much to Jamie's relief. He'd vowed to himself that morning that he *wouldn't* cry today, not for a minute would he let the Torros's and Brad see his tears, but his vow had been in vain. The familiar hot sting flooded his gray eyes not a minute after Dr. Harris began speaking, and the tears refused to stop their relentless flow after that.
Jamie cried for the entire hour. Everything that was said brought back another painful wave of memories, another bout of shame in himself for being so weak-minded, another pang of guilt for having put his father through all of this. Until at one point he surrendered himself and just buried his face in his hands and sobbed. His dad and Bit's hands on his shoulders and back did little to comfort him now. He vaguely registered the sound of a chair shifting on the other side of the room, but paid it little attention.
Arms wrapped themselves around his neck. Bare arms, thinner than those of Bit or his father. Someone was kneeling on the floor in front of him, holding him tightly in a comforting embrace.
"I'm sorry, Jamie," whispered a sorrowful female voice into his ear, "Zi, Jamie, I'm so sorry."
It was Leena. She was crying too.
Jamie returned the hug and drew back for a moment to study her tear stained face. Her lavender eyes were misty and filled with remorse as she looked up at the poor lost kid in front of her whom she had never learned to appreciate.
Jamie learned a lot in that one hour. More than he'd gotten out of sitting with only Bit and Oscar the previous few days. He learned that Doc really *did* have confidence in his abilities, but that he just wasn't old enough to bring out his own potential yet. He learned that Leena had actually remembered his birthday, but in her own preoccupation had never gotten around to doing anything about it, and had felt *terrible* when she realized what had happened. He learned that Bit was not the only one of the opinion that the Blitz team really needed him around in order to run smoothly. He saw that through all the times when he'd just been sitting there in the background or doing all the little housework or tech work for the team, his older teammates really had cared. They just needed to learn to show it.
Brad didn't utter a single word the entire time. Had it been anyone else, Bit would have been extremely angry, more so than he already was. But Brad was Brad, and sometimes you just had to take him for what he was.
It wasn't until after the hour was up and Jamie walking between his father and Bit down the front steps of the hospital that Brad finally talked to him.
"Hey, Jamie."
Jamie paused at the base of the steps and turned around. Bit, Leena, Oscar and the Doc watched silently.
"Yeah?"
Brad stepped up to the younger boy casually. "Look, Jamie, I just wanted to say thanks. You've done a lot for us over the past year, and we all really appreciate it. Thanks for being there for us, Jamie."
He gave Jamie a small smile. Jamie shrugged awkwardly at the moment but smiled back. To get a simple thanks from Brad was definitely something. Brad didn't really do gratitude. Jamie supposed he should be thankful for this.
"Jamie."
Another voice called him. This time it was that of his father. The two Wild Eagle's faced each other for a moment as it really hit them both. This was it. Both of them blinked hard.
A small breeze tousled Oscar's dark hair. He put a hand on Jamie's shoulder. "Take care of yourself now, son. I don't want to hear about any of this happening again."
"I will," replied Jamie.
"I mean it. Contact me if things even look like they're going to return to the way they were before. Heck, contact me even if they don't. I want to talk to you more. I want to know what's going on."
"I will, dad."
"Good."
Jamie swallowed tearfully.
"I'll see you, then," said Oscar.
"Yeah."
"Aw," said Oscar with a grin, "Come here." He gave Jamie one last tight bear hug. Jamie smiled into his father's leather jacket. He desperately wanted him to stay, at least for a little longer. Part of him was even second-guessing his choice now. But he knew what he had to do. It was better this way.
"I love you, Jamie."
"I love you too, dad."
They reluctantly broke apart. Jamie rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand as he stepped back. It hurt so much to see his father go. He was going to miss him bitterly.
Someone's hand squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. Dr. Torros smiled down at him.
"Oscar," he said solemnly.
"Torros," came the neutral reply.
Jamie looked from his dad, to the Doc and back again. There was something silent passing between the two men that he couldn't understand. Something had been talked about between them in private, though he couldn't think of possibly when. All he could see was that - although they were not the best of friends that they were before - Oscar was no longer so angry and the Doc could look him in the eye. They were being formal to each other, curt but polite in their exchange.
"Take care of my son, will you, Torros?"
"Sure thing, Oscar."
The Blitz team stood together for the first time in a long while and watched Oscar's Pteras take off. Jamie especially watched the small blue Zoid until it was a speck against the sunset and then disappeared. He sat in silence for the ride home.
That evening found Bit and Jamie in the tactics room working out the final details and paperwork for the rescheduled battle against the Stinger Team. It was tedious work, but with Bit at his side it seemed to get done much quicker. Doc and Leena, possibly with Brad's help, were in the kitchen making dinner. This made Jamie more than a little nervous.
"Ah, don't worry about it," said Bit with a laugh. "They'll be fine in there. Doc owns this place, doesn't he?"
"That doesn't mean anything. Can you imagine what trouble they could be getting into in there without my help?"
"True. But hey, you know that if they screw up we can still order out."
"I guess so. I hate to think of the mess they're making, though."
"So they'll clean it up."
"Doc? And Leena? Wish I could be so confident."
"So then I'll clean up. Simple as that."
Jamie's eyebrows shot up. He said nothing, but part of him marveled at the fact that the old Bit would *never* have said something like that. It just went to show how much they had changed since he had last been here.
"We're all set with the Schneider," said Bit, looking down at a clipboard and searching for a pen. "I got it all set up before the battle was postponed."
Jamie bit his lip. He wanted to say it. He knew he should, that it was for the good of the battle and the good of the team. But it was so hard. . . he didn't want to have gone through all of this just to have Bit ignore him like he had before.
"Actually . . . "
"What is it?"
"I was thinking that . . . I don't know. I just had an idea. You don't have to listen to me if you don't want to."
"Oh, come on, Jamie. Go for it. I want to hear it. You're our strategist, after all."
Jamie took a steadying breath and explained the reasoning behind his idea of using the Jager. Bit was looking thoughtful when he finished.
"You know," he said, "That's a good point. I think you may be onto something there, Jamie. You should tell the Doc when he comes in. Don't know why I didn't think of it before."
Jamie smiled to himself.
Dr. Torros had pretty much the same reaction as Bit to Jamie's idea when he entered the tactic's room. He smiled and scratched his chin thoughtfully.
"That's a good idea. It would change our strategy around a bit, but it looks like it could work out better than the Schneider would. You have a good eye for seeing this stuff, Jamie."
Jamie couldn't help but grin. "The Stinger's strong points are in the sheer indestructibility of their shielding and their armor," he started to explain. "They're almost like flying Elephanders because none but their own stinger missiles, and that includes the arsenals on the real Elephander, can penetrate their defenses. The Schneider wouldn't be much use on the battlefield because piercing armor and slicing through shields is precisely what its strengths are. It would be sort of pointless to have it on the field with weapons that can't do any damage to the enemy."
"What about the Panzer?" asked the Doc. "Do you think it would be any good out there?"
Jamie started to respond, but stopped with his mouth open. Something was very different. Everyone in the room - sure it was just Bit and the Doc, but still - was actually listening to him. Not just listening to him, but interested in what he had to say and taking his ideas into consideration. He wasn't just talking to get the information out of him, he was talking so that the others would hear it and act on it. When was the last time this had happened? He almost laughed out loud; the feeling was so good.
"Jamie?" prodded the Doc.
"Oh, right," Jamie shook his head. "I've looked over the weapons and arsenals on the Panzer, and it doesn't look like even it would be able to do much damaged to the outer armor on the Stingers. And even if it could inflict some damage, it would make the Liger Zero too heavy to move out of the way when a stinger missile is heading in its direction. Only the Jager would be able to do that."
"So how would we fight them on offense?" asked Bit.
"Well," said Jamie in reply. "It looks to me like the best way to do that would be to trick them into accidentally shooting each other with their own weapons. As far as I can see, if a Stinger Hornet was to be hit with its own missile, it would cause the same system freeze that it would in any other Zoid."
"But how are we supposed to do that from the ground?"
"That's where the problems start. It's going to be very difficult to pull off, that's for sure. I've been looking mainly at the agility and the height that the Shadow Fox and the Liger Zero can reach when they jump, and I've worked out a couple of moves you could try that might work. The Gunsniper isn't fast enough to really do much in that area except create a diversion. Though, with the Stinger's lack of maneuverability even in mid- air, you may be able to trick one of them into flying into the cliff face. It would be a long shot, but if it works it would cause considerable damage to their outer armor."
Doc studied the screen for a moment. He knew, and he was pretty sure Bit did too, what needed to be done to really claim a hold on the battle.
"Jamie?" he said carefully.
"Yeah?"
"Would it be easier to follow this strategy if we had you and your Raynos out there on the battlefield?"
Jamie was silent for a total minute. Shock was written all over his features.
"The battle mode is 0982, Doc," he replied. "We can only have three Zoids out there."
"I know that. Would it be easier to have you in an aerial Zoid out there instead of one of the others?"
Jamie's jaw dropped. No one . . . never . . . he never went into battle unless they needed four or one of them couldn't fight. He was never asked to go in as a regular warrior. Never. It just wasn't done.
"I . . . I guess it would. Having an air Zoid would certainly make things simpler."
"Then it's settled," said the Doc in a final tone of voice. "We use the Jager and the Raynos. You should probably replace Leena; the Gunsniper isn't very maneuverable like you said and the smoke discharger on the Shadow Fox may come in handy in battle. That's only if you're willing to do this, of course."
Jamie couldn't believe what he was hearing. Not only had he been asked to go into a battle as a regular warrior, but Doc - *Doc* - had asked him to replace *his own daughter*. Jamie had to pinch himself to see if he wasn't dreaming this all up.
"O-okay, Doc," he said weakly.
Bit beamed. "That's the spirit, Jamie!" he cried. "We're going to do great!"
Doc smiled.
"Come on," he told the two warriors, "Let's go back and have dinner."
The work was abandoned for the moment as the three left the room in comfortable silence.
END CHAPTER TWELVE
NEXT CHAPTER: Epilogue: We will be officially done! Go ahead, cheer. I see you. I don't care. :P This was getting way long, I know that.
Review please!!! And yes, the outcome of the battle *will* be told, so don't ask.