Jerry Springer!
Jerry: Hi, welcome back to the show. Lets get back to our topic of tonight. (He turns from the camera to the turtles). So, lets forget where we left off from, as that may cause more problems am I'm as sure as hell you don't want any more. So . . . Guys, you were telling us about your (motions to Raph and Leo) problems.
Leo: Hey you saw what our problems were...
(Raph nods agreeing)
Leo: Our problems cause other people problems. Like Master Splinter, and April!
(Raph nods again)
Mikey: Well, sure we all get along with April, just that these two knuckleheads practically scare her when they fight!
Jerry: Well let's see what April has to say, come on out!
(The audience clapped their hands as April walked onto the stage and took a seat next to Leo).
Jerry: Now April how does their problems affect you?
April: They don't affect me, Jerry, Raph and Leo fight all the time, it's never bothered me why should it?
(Whispers can be heard from the audience and Leo turns to April, chains wrapped around him, he looks her in the eye).
Leo: I'm really sorry, April, we both are.
(Raph's nods and more whispers and some 'aww's' come from the audience - April takes Leo hand from his lap and gives it a squeeze).
April: It's Ok Leo, I'm Ok with it, honest. After all, you guy're just kids.
Leo and Raph: (both nodding and smiling, and then a sudden change of expression) What?!
Jerry: Er, yeah, now that you have calmed down, will you stay put if we take the chains off?
(Leo and Raph both look at each other then back to Jerry, they both nod slightly at him - Jerry signals for Steve - fave body guard loved on Jerry Springer - to unlock the chains).
Jerry: Right guys, anything else you would like to discuss?
Mikey: I have something!
Jerry: Yes, Mikey?
Mikey: I'm starving dude! Where's the cafeteria man?!
Jerry: Um, we don't have a cafeteria.
(Mikey stands up and steps forward, Steve stands in front of him - Mikey looks over Steve's shoulder to Jerry).
Mikey: What?!! You have all the money in the world for a talk show but you don't have a cafeteria?!! Are you mad dude?!
(All three brothers are nodding in agreement).
Jerry: Is this one of your problems? That Mikey can't get over his love for pizza?
Mikey: What?! Me?! Problem?! Get real dude!
(Leo sighs).
Leo: Yep, I'm afraid it's true.
(Mikey looks over at Leo).
Mikey: What? Leo, what are you on about man? You love pizza aswell!
Jerry: Ok guys, tell ya what we're gonna do. We're gonna make you a deal.
Donnie: (suspiciously) Oh?
Jerry: If Raph and Leo can go without arguing for 3 days and Mikey can go without eating pizza - no fighting at all! - We'll give you a life supply of pizza and two knuckleheads - as Mikey described them - will get free punch bags, this will help not to take your anger out on each other.
Donnie: I get to make sure they keep to their side of the deal?
Jerry: Since you're problemless we thought this was wise.
(Donnie grins and sits back in his chair satisfied).
Donnie: Ok sure, they'll do that, (he nods)
Raph, Mikey and Leo: What?!! No!!
Donnie: Too late dude! Deal's been sealed ... (puts on a thinking expression) and there's no such word as 'problemless', Jerry
Jerry: (Ignoring Donnie) And for April, we decided you could help Donnie out Ok?
(April nods - Jerry turns and looks at the camera).
Jerry: Our next episode will take place in the turtle's lair so we can see how they progress, until next time folks, goodnight!
(Audience clap - music is played - end of the show).
AN: This was written by tmntluver and I brainstormed with her - hope you enjoy!