--> Educating Farfarello

"Now stop that squirming! You're going to wear this outfit NOW! I didn't spend all day sewing this for nothing!" Fernando, the fitting room attendant, squawks.

He backs Farfarello up against the wall. "If you won't put this on I'll put it on for you!" Fernando yanks at his jacket and forces a pink glittery midriff in his direction. "And take off that ugly eyesore!" He reaches out towards Farfarello's eye patch and rips it off his face.

Farfarello has reached the boiling point. "When did I become so weak? First I end up in a strange room with some man doing odd experiments to my body. Then today I have to put up with someone stealing my eye patch." Pulling his hair he screams "Suki Help Me!"

 His knife retracts and slashes at Fernando. "Hmm, that's strange I can see out of my left eye!" Ignoring the terrible commotion he has caused.

Fernando staggers out of the dressing room and collapses at Mr. Rudolph's feet. "Fernando what happened? Someone call for an ambulance right away! I need a tourniquet! Someone bring me a tourniquet!"

Five minutes later the ambulance arrives. (Three rooms down the hall, Brad, Nagi, and Schuldig sweat drop)Brad chokes "Cough, Cough! I think we better go and get Farfarello. I can't have him blowing our cover this soon." The three men leave the room. Schuldig teleports while Brad and Nagi sneak in among the commotion.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Schuldig appears behind Farfarello in the fitting room "Come with me, I'll get you out of here." They exit the room and find a quiet place to talk. Brad inquires "Are you Farfarello?" Farfarello stares blankly "Why do you ask?" (Licks Suki) Schuldig spurts "It's him alright! Nagi you explain things to him." Nagi sighs as he levitates a mirror in his direction. He brings it over to Farfarello "I suggest you take a good look at yourself."

Farfarello stares in the mirror "Hey! That's the kid who ran into me yesterday! Hehehehehehe!" He tries to slash at his reflection but Brad stops him from hurting his body.

Brad explains "How should I tell you this? You have switched bodies with the kid. His name is Shuichi and I need you to try your best to act like him. So that means no killing and keep maiming down to a minimum." Farfarello sneers "Why should I listen to you? I've never seen you before." Brad rubs his temples "I knew this would be difficult. Nagi, could you explain it to him please?

Nagi looks at Farfarello "I know this is hard for you to comprehend but we're your fri. . . comrades. This is Brad, that's Schuldig and I'm Nagi." Farfarello senses their evil presence. "It is you! Suki told me I would meet up with you eventually." (Smiles insanely as he licks the knife)

 (Farfarello's mood changes) "Why did you abandon me?!!" The three Schwarz members look at one another. Farfarello has never been this emotional before as he rocks Suki in his arms and whimpers softly to himself.

Schuldig stunned, looks at Brad and Nagi "Do Something Bradley! The idea of Farfarello being meek is not something I want imprinted in my mind." Brad counters "Me! You're the mind reader! You do something!" Schuldig inches over to Farfarello and kneels before him "Hey buddy! What happened? WHOO! Watch where you're swinging that knife there's no need to get hostile!"

Farfarello whimpers "You'll really listen to me? Nobody ever listens to me!" Schuldig, while crossing his fingers behind his back, responds "Of course we will. What are teammates for? Just tell us why your acting so upset."

Farfarello decides it's best to talk about it "Well it's a bit embarrassing to discuss." He whispers the event in Schuldig's ear which gives him a very graphic play by play of the whole scenario. Schuldig screams "AHHHH!!! I didn't need to see that much detail!"

Farfarello inquires "What kind of experiments did that man do to my body? I don't remember too much about that night." Schuldig cringes in fear "Errrrrr!! You heard about the "Birds and the Bees" haven't you?" Brad shoots a strange look in Schuldig's direction. "Trust me you don't want to know!"

Farfarello continues "Yes! Didn't Crawford say Weiß was a bee and they needed to be swatted?" Schuldig blinks "Eh! That's not what I meant. Didn't your parents ever talk to you about . . . Umm? Well you know about sex education, right?"

Farfarello looks blankly "No, I've never heard of . . . what did you call it again, sex? What is this kind of education? It's it some kind of new torture technique?" Brad and Nagi shoot Schuldig a glare and he takes them aside and explains in detail what happened to Farfarello.

Schuldig stammers as he tries to inquire about Farfie's experience. "Well have you ever pleasured yourself before?" Farfarello is clueless to what Schuldig means "What do you mean?" Schudig blushes bright red as he describes "Well have you ever touched your Winkie before?" Schuldig motions down towards his male organ. Farfarello questions " Winkie? You mean "My Lucky Charm?" Yes, but what does that have to do with sex?"

Brad intervenes "This isn't going anywhere, let me try. Well . . ." Brad explains the birds and the bees in full detail but he still doesn't get it.

Nagi tries a different approach as he approaches a chalk board and draws out a diagram explaining in detail what you place where etc. Farfarello nods his head in agreement that he understands but still doesn't know what this has to do with his "Lucky Charm."

Schuldig smirks "I have a plan." He whispers the details into Farfarello's ear. I want you to do everything he did to you but you'll need to show you're the dominate one. Farfarello interrupts "Can I use Suki?" Of course you can use Suki. The rougher the better! One more question "Will this hurt God?" Yes! The more times you do it the greater the pain. There's one thing I want you to remember. You can under no circumstances do this to us. You can only do this to Yuki, the blond guy with whom you live.

"Is he the only one?" Well let me think . . . It might be alright to do it to Weiß but I wouldn't recommend it. You never know where that Yoji's been.

Nagi interrupts "What about Takatori?" A light bulb comes on in Schuldig's mind "Yeah!! Yeah!! Running over and high-fiving Nagi. That's a good one. The more times you do it to him the worse God will feel. Takatori will be very pleased with you too. When you are with him it's extremely important to be as rough as possible and use Suki on him multiple times throughout the night. Remember the more times you do it the better Takatori will feel.

Brad comments "It looks like he won't need the "Aphrodite of Kyoto" after all! Ha ha ha ha ha!

K spies on the four, from behind the door. He's using surveillance equipment and listens in but can't get a clear impression of what they are talking about. What? Yuki? Who's this Takatori and what does he have to do with sex? K hears laughter coming from the vacant room. He sticks his head in and rounds up the guys for the rehearsal.