Gohan: This better not be a Gohan Torture fic, or you might end up in the next dimension.
Kami: You can't touch me, or else you might end up in hell. Don't you know that anyone who kills a kami is sentanced to an eternity in Hell.
Piccolo: That's only if the killing is unjust and if you destroy Gohan's life isn't it fair that he gets to destroy you.
Kami: Piccolo! Why did you tell him that ! He didn't know!
Piccolo: I'm just doing what's fair, Kami.
Gohan powering up to SSJ2: Kame...Ha...Me
Kami leaping off the lookout and fleeing the enraged sayajin: Well I guess it's time for me to go. See you all at the end of the fic... if I'm still alive that is.
Disclaimer: According to the Federal Copyright Laws, otherwise known as laws made by the rich to make sure they stay that way, we must include these wastes of space. Of course it doesn't require that we waste this much space, but... well better end this before you all get bored, so, um, I don't own DBZ, ok.
P.S. Videl doesn't know jack about Gohan.
The Announcement
For the first time in days, Gohan was truly happy. Unfortunately, for him, Dende was not. "Damn the kais. What do they mean, it's a contractual obligation to battle any evils that threaten the earth as a whole? I didn't see any of them drag their sorry asses down here to take on Cell. How was I supposed to fight against something that powerful? What gives them the right to take away my only vacation this decade? Well if I can't go to Disneyland, then I guess I'll just have to find something to amuse myself with down there."
Suddenly, Dende had an idea. Knowing his window of oppurtunity was only a few minutes, he quickly put his plan into action. "Gohan's life's never going to be the same," the young namekian god thought to himself.
back on earth...
History class was just ending and it was amazing how carefree Gohan felt. He'd been so tense that morning, sure that something terrible was going to happen to him, but there were only a few minutes left in class. What could go wrong (You'd think that by now, after all the tortures Frozenflower's put him through, he'd learn to stop asking that question, but alas Gohan's intelligence is balanced by a naivette and lack of worldliness that could only come from his father).
Suddenly, the principal burst into the room and with a quick apology to the geography teacher for interrupting her class, he started into an explanation of what their next week would be like: "As you all should know, next Friday is Hercule Day, a commemeration of our hero, Hercule Satan's incredible victory over the evil Cell."
"Ya, it certainly was incredible," Gohan thought to himself. "Incredibly phony!"
"Your class, since it contains Ms. Videl Satan, has been chosen to go learn about our hero all next week. You will first spend a day touring the Satan mansion, on Tuesday you'll be going to the Tenachi Boudokai stadium, Wendsday will be spent at the Satan City gym, the next day 3 martial arts masters will be teaching you all the basics of fighting, including the legendary Mr. Satan, so that the next day you will be able to compete in the annual 18 and under charity tournament held every year in the rings at the Hercule mansion. All money from the tournament will, of course, be going to the help make Hercule filthy rich, so you should all be happy that it's going to such a good cause.
"Did you hear that Gohan!" Videl whispered excitedly, "we're going to get a lesson from my dad! Isn't that amazing Gohan!"
"Ya, that's great Videl," Gohan said wearily, clearly not to enthusiastic about the whole idea.
"Gohan! Don't you even care!" Videl practically screamed, leaving Gohan with his incredible hearing, muttering about the stupid banshee woman under his breath.
"What's that Gohan?" Videl asked imperiously, knashing her teeth. "Is my presence a burden on you?"
Before Gohan could mumble some pitiful excuse, Sharper cut in cooly, " Don't worry about it Videl. Nerd boy's probably just trying to find a way out of fighting because he knows any real man like me'd cream him.
With that, the bell rang and a very pissed off Gohan decided that it was time to have a little talk with a certain little green man up at the lookout.
up at the lookout...
"Oh shit, Gohan is so gonna kill me," Dende whimpered to the former kami, cowering behind his throne. "Piccolo, can't you please take the blame for this one. Earth really needs a guardian and I'm too young to die.
"Sorry kid, but maybe you should have thought of that before you started torturing the most powerful being on the planet. You're on your own this time, Dende," Piccolo apologized, but knowing better then to get on a super sayajin's bad side. "Um... I gotta go now Dende... I've got to uh... meditate. See ya later kid," Piccolo said as he flew away from the lookout at top speed.
"Gohan's gonna kill me. This is gonna be terrible. Please save me Kami. Wait, I'm Kami, Damnit! Oh please save me Rou Kaioshin!
Before another thought could even register in the kami's mind, he heard a voice calling him from outside. "Wait a second," Dende thought to himself suspiciously, "that voice is just too cheerful. Sorta reminds me the way Vegeta sounds right before he kills some baka humans, as he calls them. Oh Kami- damnit! I've gotta stop saying that- I'm a dead Namek.
"Hey Dende," Gohan chimed in, with that way too cheerful voice, "I've got something really neat to show you."
At that, the young god decided there was no more reason to prolong the inevitable, he snapped his fingers, prompting a funeral dirge to begin and slowly marched toward the young demi-sayajin.
"Don't look so down, Dende," Gohan chirped happily. "It's not like I'm gonna kill you or anything," Gohan said with a look that said, "yet." "I'm just hear to deliver a threat. You see," the demi-sayajin continued, gesturing towards a book in his hands, "This book is a relic that belonged to a powerful alien magician named Garlic Jr. He didn't like earth's former kami much, so while he was in the dead zone, the first time, he wrote this. He called it 101 Ways to Roast a Little Green Namekian. Fortunately, for Kami, I sent Garlic Jr. back to the dead zone before he could test any of these fabulous recipes out and hasn't been heard from since. On my way here though, I noticed that a few of these actually looked pretty good, especially the Kami burgers, so I suggest that you stay out of my world for the next week, or so because trying to thwart the plans of scheming Kamis can make a guy pretty hungry. Clear."
"As Crysal," Dende replied, knowing he'd gotten off easy and already planning ways to get back at Gohan without the super powered demi-sayajin being able to guess it was him.
"Good," Gohan said. "Then I'll see you soon, but hopefully not to soon... for your sake."
Next Time on Dragonball Z: A familiar face is leading the tours of the champ's mansion, but is this a good thing? Find out next time on Dragonball Z!
P.S. Please review!
P.S.S. I want to know which 2 of the following fighters you'd like to see teaching martial arts with Mr. Satan to Gohan's class: Goten, Master Roshi, Krillin, Nappa, Captain Ginyu, or someone else. Vote by posting a review with your choice in it, or by e-mailing me at kamipop. ya next time I update!