HERCULEan Days
My name's Dende and I'm the Kami of Earth and most unfortunately I'm running short on tortures I could bring upon Gohan so if you've got any ideas e-mail me, or include them in your reviews. You know I need to come up with 5 to beat that Grand Kai dolt so I'll take the 2 or 3 best 'cause I do have a couple of ideas of my own you know.
Disclaimer: Damnit! Who knew Akira Toriyama could go SSJ, but he did and stopped Freeza in his tracks when my partner tried to steal DBZ. So I suppose I can still not claim to own DBZ. Darn it all!
The Arrival of Radditz
As Master Roshi descended the stairs of his private jet, he was immediately met by a seemingly endless crowd of students, all wanting his autograph, to know that one thing they'd always wondered about, or just wanting to meet the ancient master of the martial arts. In fact the crowd was never ending because the second he answered a question, or signed an autograph someone else would say, "Hey! Isn't that the Turtle Hermit. I've always wanted to meet him!" Unfortunately for Roshi, not everyone was quite so kindly disposed towards him especially a certain demi-sayajin named Gohan. Gohan was far from Roshi's mind however, as he was more interested in finding his good friend Capel (the MC). For some reason though, Capel was nowhere to be found. Fortunately, an ancient master of the martial arts had more resources than simply his eyes to use when searching for his friends. Ignoring all other sensory imput, Roshi felt around for his friend's ki, but this was not one of his brighter moves, as his senses were quickly blinded by an enourmous ki, extremely close too him and by it's erratic changes it likely belonged to one very angry demi-sayajin. Looking up he saw his second worst nightmare, his first being an enraged Vegeta, staring down at him angrily. "What the hell are you doing here !?!"
Just as the martial arts master decided it was about time to commence cowering, a blessing in disguise appeared. It was Gohan's absolute worst fear, an angry Videl Satan! "Gohan! Why didn't you ever tell me you knew the best teacher of the martial arts in the world !?!"
"Uh... I guess I forgot."
"You know," Roshi thought to himself. "That girl is quite a looker and it looks to me like she's single, so I guess I'll just turn on the old Roshi charm and... hee hee hee..." But before the Muten Roshi could make his move, knowing Gohan it probably would have been his last, the girl just froze up right on the spot, just like every other girl in the class had for some reason and started shivering uncontrollably, as if her entire heart and soul was fighting against an evil spirit.
Concerned, Gohan walked up to Videl and asked quietly, "Videl. Are you okay?"
Suddenly Videl's eyes shot open, she relaxed and turning to the young demi-sayajin, licked her lips. "Now I am," she said, pulling him into a deep and passionate kiss. Though he fought valiantly against it, his Sayajin side chose just this moment to seize control of his body and returned her sentiments passionately, pulling her into it even deeper. Then suddenly his sensitive Sayajin senses detected a click... flash and the rolling of new film. In a flurry of movement, he spun around, only to discover Trunks and Goten both snickering behind his back about Gohan's new girlfriend, as they carefully held a dozen cameras. Each one had the kissing picture, as they called it, on it and Gohan knew that if Chi Chi saw even one of the pictures, he'd be as good as dead. Of course, Goten and Trunks knew that too, so before Gohan could even begin to react they were gone, in SSJ mode of course and Gohan knew that he would never catch up.
Turning back towards Videl to apologize for his innapropriate behaviour, he was surprised to find her expression bereft of hatred, disgust and anger and instead she was doing something very unVidel like. The daughter of Hercule Satan was seductively swivelling her hips, as she slowly strode towards him. Seeking a quick escape, he spun around, only to find Angela and Erasa blocking his way with the same lovestruck look in their eyes that Videl seemed to posess. It actually kinda reminded him of the way he looked at food.
Even though it would jeaporadize his secret, Gohan felt that his only remaining option was to take flight and he did, or atleast tried to, as with a scream he fell to the ground, for the first time noticing the tight grip on his tail. "Wait just a second," Gohan thought. "Since when do I have a tail !?!" but before the answer to his question could become apparent, he fell to the ground, unconcsious from the pain he had been feeling a moment before.
55 minutes later...
As Gohan slowly began to awaken he found himself lying beside Videl on a double bed. He had no idea how long he'd been out, but didn't really care. He had only 2 thoughts. He was undecided as to whether he should move closer to her, or run away at top speed. Fortunately, for him, the decision was taken out of his hands as titanium reenforced frying pan came flying out of nowhere to smack him across the head.
"Gohan! I'm so ashamed that you could have become such a terrible delinquint! I know I said I wanted grandchildren, but first you have to get married!" his mother screeched, a mortified look upon her face.
"Mom, I can explain!" Gohan said, clearly panicked, as he rose from the bed.
"Fine then young man. How do you explain this !?!" Chi Chi replied, angrily pointing at a picture of Gohan and Videl's embrace of a few hours ago. As he saw the picture he gulped, knowing that this time there was no escape.
As all of this was happenung, a very confused Videl was just awakening from the trance like state she'd been placed in to facilitate Dende's plans for the past hour. She wasn't sure exactly where she was, but wherever it was it was certainly comfortable. As Videl stretched out luxuriously she felt something strange beside her. It felt strange and when she looked up she saw in the same bed as her... Gohan? Then the memories came rushing back. The loss of control, the kiss, Gohan's tail and without so much as the smallest warning, the daughter of Hercule fainted, for the first and probably last time.
up at the lookout...
"Well Dende my man. That was some mighty fine torturing you did, but it can't compare to this!" and with that the Grand Kai snapped his fingers and Gohan Torture #2 began.
in The Home For Infinite Losers...
"974, 632, 120, 900... 974, 632, 120, 901... 974, 632, 120, 902..." a rather strong looking ogre counted, watching the exhausted spirit before him do yet another push-up. It was rather remarkable. This particular spirit was still going after 12 years straight of push-ups. Only 9, 765, 890, 234, 677, 898 more and he'd tie Bardock for the record for most push-ups in a row.
As King Yemma went around the HFIL he spotted a familiar, long haired figure with a tail sprouting out of his behind and a face that sweated from more than a decade of push-ups. "How many is he doing?" Yemma asked one of his top ogres.
"Oh well you see sir. We have an agreement with Radditz."
"And what would that be?"
"If he can do an infinite number of push-ups then we'll return his life to him, but since that is a mathematical impossibility, I've got a feeling that he won't be going anywhere."
Suddenly they heard a shout from the Sayajin warrior's direction. "Hey! What the HFIL! I'm alive! Sweet!" and then the newly haloless Sayajin dissapeared in a blinding white flash of energy.
"Heh heh," the ogre laughed uncertainly, looking up to discover a less than amused King Yemma staring down at him. "Then again. I could be wrong."
at the Tenachi Budokai arena...
Though he'd taken a few more thwaps from the frying pan of doom then he'd like, Videl was making an effort to completely ignore him and the entirewas staring at him as if he'd sprouted wings and eaten a couple of students, he made an effort to look on the brightside. The tour had so far gone without a hitch, there were only a couple of presentations left and Master Roshi had been so well behaved that he almost had to believe that the old guy was planning something. Besides, how could things possibly get worse then they are right now. By now you'd think that Gohan would have learned to stop asking that question, but hey, the kid got his common sense from his father. The reason he shouldn't have asked was that the second he did was the exact moment that his less then favourite uncle chose to make an appearance. Suspicious minds might even think that the Grand Kai planned it that way.
"So nephew. How's your day been?" Radditz asked, trying to be cordial, but he didn't know that how his day was going was the one thing Gohan did not want to talk about.
"Significantly better, until you showed up," Gohan grumbled, just as he felt the painful thwap of a frying pan smashing into his head full force, but when he looked up, he found not his mother wielding the greatest weapon of Sayajin annihalation known to anyone. "Videl! Since when do you have a frying pan !?!"
"I really don't know Gohan. I heard you insulting your uncle and and got this sudden urge to tear the flesh off your bones and make a Gohan Burger out of you for threatening to make a Kami Burger out of me... Wait a sec. What the Hell am I talking about !?! Sorry Gohan. I don't really know where that came from, but when I heard you insult your uncle, I got angry and it just appeared."
But Gohan was no longer listening. "Grrrr!" Gohan thought. "You're going to slowly roast for that one. Kami Burgers were too nice. I think a Kami Rib Roast would be much more satisfying. How do you make that one again Dende? Oh Yes. You simply rip the back bone out of the body and tie it back to the ribs. This is called a "French Cut." Then hmmmm... Bake at 325 F while stuffing mouth with Sayajin size portions of garlic, mustard and smothering with soy sauce then bake uncovered at 425 F until well done. Then remove from oven and Bon Appetit. You know buddy. It was bad enough when you granted my mother a hyperdimentional pocket for he private arsenal, but Videl. This time you've gone too far old pal. Who's next? Trunks !?!
at CC...
"Hey mom! Look what I can do!" Trunks yelled happily with a tinge of unbridled excitement ringing through his young voice.
Bulma turned to watch whatever cute new trick her 8 year old boy had learned, just in time to see a pair of semi automatics appear in his outstretched palms. Though Bulma had seen alot, watching her child summon guns from nowhere was just too much for her and she fainted. To bad too because she missed her ecstatic son's next great achievement a moment later.
"Hey look mom! An F18!"
back at the Tenachi Budokai arena...
"So um nephew-"
"Don't call me that!" Gohan snapped.
"Okay Gohan. Exactly what are we doing?"
"We, as in my class and no newly ressurected Sayajin warriors named Radditz, will be watching some stupid movie about the MIB and some guy named the Seamen hunter, or something."
"Well that's cool," Radditz replied, completely missing Gohan's not so subtle hint to go away. "But Gohan I think it says the Sayajin Hunter, not the Seamen hunter."
"What !?!"
and then the movie began...
Dunh Dunh Dunh! Cliffhanger! Who could the Sayajin Hunter be? I'm not telling.
Gohan: That's just because you haven't decided yet.
Kami: Shut up!
Next Time on Dragonball Z: The Sayajin Hunter is revealed and Radditz is not too pleased. Vegeta isn't to happy either. What's this !?! Master Roshi has a plan! All this and more Next Time on Dragonball Z!
P.S. If you can guess who the Sayajin hunter is then I'll put you in my story.
P.S.S. Plz reccomend some tortures for me.
P.S.S.S. You will now go down and push the review button at the bottom of the screen.
My name's Dende and I'm the Kami of Earth and most unfortunately I'm running short on tortures I could bring upon Gohan so if you've got any ideas e-mail me, or include them in your reviews. You know I need to come up with 5 to beat that Grand Kai dolt so I'll take the 2 or 3 best 'cause I do have a couple of ideas of my own you know.
Disclaimer: Damnit! Who knew Akira Toriyama could go SSJ, but he did and stopped Freeza in his tracks when my partner tried to steal DBZ. So I suppose I can still not claim to own DBZ. Darn it all!
The Arrival of Radditz
As Master Roshi descended the stairs of his private jet, he was immediately met by a seemingly endless crowd of students, all wanting his autograph, to know that one thing they'd always wondered about, or just wanting to meet the ancient master of the martial arts. In fact the crowd was never ending because the second he answered a question, or signed an autograph someone else would say, "Hey! Isn't that the Turtle Hermit. I've always wanted to meet him!" Unfortunately for Roshi, not everyone was quite so kindly disposed towards him especially a certain demi-sayajin named Gohan. Gohan was far from Roshi's mind however, as he was more interested in finding his good friend Capel (the MC). For some reason though, Capel was nowhere to be found. Fortunately, an ancient master of the martial arts had more resources than simply his eyes to use when searching for his friends. Ignoring all other sensory imput, Roshi felt around for his friend's ki, but this was not one of his brighter moves, as his senses were quickly blinded by an enourmous ki, extremely close too him and by it's erratic changes it likely belonged to one very angry demi-sayajin. Looking up he saw his second worst nightmare, his first being an enraged Vegeta, staring down at him angrily. "What the hell are you doing here !?!"
Just as the martial arts master decided it was about time to commence cowering, a blessing in disguise appeared. It was Gohan's absolute worst fear, an angry Videl Satan! "Gohan! Why didn't you ever tell me you knew the best teacher of the martial arts in the world !?!"
"Uh... I guess I forgot."
"You know," Roshi thought to himself. "That girl is quite a looker and it looks to me like she's single, so I guess I'll just turn on the old Roshi charm and... hee hee hee..." But before the Muten Roshi could make his move, knowing Gohan it probably would have been his last, the girl just froze up right on the spot, just like every other girl in the class had for some reason and started shivering uncontrollably, as if her entire heart and soul was fighting against an evil spirit.
Concerned, Gohan walked up to Videl and asked quietly, "Videl. Are you okay?"
Suddenly Videl's eyes shot open, she relaxed and turning to the young demi-sayajin, licked her lips. "Now I am," she said, pulling him into a deep and passionate kiss. Though he fought valiantly against it, his Sayajin side chose just this moment to seize control of his body and returned her sentiments passionately, pulling her into it even deeper. Then suddenly his sensitive Sayajin senses detected a click... flash and the rolling of new film. In a flurry of movement, he spun around, only to discover Trunks and Goten both snickering behind his back about Gohan's new girlfriend, as they carefully held a dozen cameras. Each one had the kissing picture, as they called it, on it and Gohan knew that if Chi Chi saw even one of the pictures, he'd be as good as dead. Of course, Goten and Trunks knew that too, so before Gohan could even begin to react they were gone, in SSJ mode of course and Gohan knew that he would never catch up.
Turning back towards Videl to apologize for his innapropriate behaviour, he was surprised to find her expression bereft of hatred, disgust and anger and instead she was doing something very unVidel like. The daughter of Hercule Satan was seductively swivelling her hips, as she slowly strode towards him. Seeking a quick escape, he spun around, only to find Angela and Erasa blocking his way with the same lovestruck look in their eyes that Videl seemed to posess. It actually kinda reminded him of the way he looked at food.
Even though it would jeaporadize his secret, Gohan felt that his only remaining option was to take flight and he did, or atleast tried to, as with a scream he fell to the ground, for the first time noticing the tight grip on his tail. "Wait just a second," Gohan thought. "Since when do I have a tail !?!" but before the answer to his question could become apparent, he fell to the ground, unconcsious from the pain he had been feeling a moment before.
55 minutes later...
As Gohan slowly began to awaken he found himself lying beside Videl on a double bed. He had no idea how long he'd been out, but didn't really care. He had only 2 thoughts. He was undecided as to whether he should move closer to her, or run away at top speed. Fortunately, for him, the decision was taken out of his hands as titanium reenforced frying pan came flying out of nowhere to smack him across the head.
"Gohan! I'm so ashamed that you could have become such a terrible delinquint! I know I said I wanted grandchildren, but first you have to get married!" his mother screeched, a mortified look upon her face.
"Mom, I can explain!" Gohan said, clearly panicked, as he rose from the bed.
"Fine then young man. How do you explain this !?!" Chi Chi replied, angrily pointing at a picture of Gohan and Videl's embrace of a few hours ago. As he saw the picture he gulped, knowing that this time there was no escape.
As all of this was happenung, a very confused Videl was just awakening from the trance like state she'd been placed in to facilitate Dende's plans for the past hour. She wasn't sure exactly where she was, but wherever it was it was certainly comfortable. As Videl stretched out luxuriously she felt something strange beside her. It felt strange and when she looked up she saw in the same bed as her... Gohan? Then the memories came rushing back. The loss of control, the kiss, Gohan's tail and without so much as the smallest warning, the daughter of Hercule fainted, for the first and probably last time.
up at the lookout...
"Well Dende my man. That was some mighty fine torturing you did, but it can't compare to this!" and with that the Grand Kai snapped his fingers and Gohan Torture #2 began.
in The Home For Infinite Losers...
"974, 632, 120, 900... 974, 632, 120, 901... 974, 632, 120, 902..." a rather strong looking ogre counted, watching the exhausted spirit before him do yet another push-up. It was rather remarkable. This particular spirit was still going after 12 years straight of push-ups. Only 9, 765, 890, 234, 677, 898 more and he'd tie Bardock for the record for most push-ups in a row.
As King Yemma went around the HFIL he spotted a familiar, long haired figure with a tail sprouting out of his behind and a face that sweated from more than a decade of push-ups. "How many is he doing?" Yemma asked one of his top ogres.
"Oh well you see sir. We have an agreement with Radditz."
"And what would that be?"
"If he can do an infinite number of push-ups then we'll return his life to him, but since that is a mathematical impossibility, I've got a feeling that he won't be going anywhere."
Suddenly they heard a shout from the Sayajin warrior's direction. "Hey! What the HFIL! I'm alive! Sweet!" and then the newly haloless Sayajin dissapeared in a blinding white flash of energy.
"Heh heh," the ogre laughed uncertainly, looking up to discover a less than amused King Yemma staring down at him. "Then again. I could be wrong."
at the Tenachi Budokai arena...
Though he'd taken a few more thwaps from the frying pan of doom then he'd like, Videl was making an effort to completely ignore him and the entirewas staring at him as if he'd sprouted wings and eaten a couple of students, he made an effort to look on the brightside. The tour had so far gone without a hitch, there were only a couple of presentations left and Master Roshi had been so well behaved that he almost had to believe that the old guy was planning something. Besides, how could things possibly get worse then they are right now. By now you'd think that Gohan would have learned to stop asking that question, but hey, the kid got his common sense from his father. The reason he shouldn't have asked was that the second he did was the exact moment that his less then favourite uncle chose to make an appearance. Suspicious minds might even think that the Grand Kai planned it that way.
"So nephew. How's your day been?" Radditz asked, trying to be cordial, but he didn't know that how his day was going was the one thing Gohan did not want to talk about.
"Significantly better, until you showed up," Gohan grumbled, just as he felt the painful thwap of a frying pan smashing into his head full force, but when he looked up, he found not his mother wielding the greatest weapon of Sayajin annihalation known to anyone. "Videl! Since when do you have a frying pan !?!"
"I really don't know Gohan. I heard you insulting your uncle and and got this sudden urge to tear the flesh off your bones and make a Gohan Burger out of you for threatening to make a Kami Burger out of me... Wait a sec. What the Hell am I talking about !?! Sorry Gohan. I don't really know where that came from, but when I heard you insult your uncle, I got angry and it just appeared."
But Gohan was no longer listening. "Grrrr!" Gohan thought. "You're going to slowly roast for that one. Kami Burgers were too nice. I think a Kami Rib Roast would be much more satisfying. How do you make that one again Dende? Oh Yes. You simply rip the back bone out of the body and tie it back to the ribs. This is called a "French Cut." Then hmmmm... Bake at 325 F while stuffing mouth with Sayajin size portions of garlic, mustard and smothering with soy sauce then bake uncovered at 425 F until well done. Then remove from oven and Bon Appetit. You know buddy. It was bad enough when you granted my mother a hyperdimentional pocket for he private arsenal, but Videl. This time you've gone too far old pal. Who's next? Trunks !?!
at CC...
"Hey mom! Look what I can do!" Trunks yelled happily with a tinge of unbridled excitement ringing through his young voice.
Bulma turned to watch whatever cute new trick her 8 year old boy had learned, just in time to see a pair of semi automatics appear in his outstretched palms. Though Bulma had seen alot, watching her child summon guns from nowhere was just too much for her and she fainted. To bad too because she missed her ecstatic son's next great achievement a moment later.
"Hey look mom! An F18!"
back at the Tenachi Budokai arena...
"So um nephew-"
"Don't call me that!" Gohan snapped.
"Okay Gohan. Exactly what are we doing?"
"We, as in my class and no newly ressurected Sayajin warriors named Radditz, will be watching some stupid movie about the MIB and some guy named the Seamen hunter, or something."
"Well that's cool," Radditz replied, completely missing Gohan's not so subtle hint to go away. "But Gohan I think it says the Sayajin Hunter, not the Seamen hunter."
"What !?!"
and then the movie began...
Dunh Dunh Dunh! Cliffhanger! Who could the Sayajin Hunter be? I'm not telling.
Gohan: That's just because you haven't decided yet.
Kami: Shut up!
Next Time on Dragonball Z: The Sayajin Hunter is revealed and Radditz is not too pleased. Vegeta isn't to happy either. What's this !?! Master Roshi has a plan! All this and more Next Time on Dragonball Z!
P.S. If you can guess who the Sayajin hunter is then I'll put you in my story.
P.S.S. Plz reccomend some tortures for me.
P.S.S.S. You will now go down and push the review button at the bottom of the screen.