Helga's Letters
Part Eight: Balanced Relationship
Arnold was mortified by what had happened Sunday. Helga had just walked out on him! With REX!!
"I-I just don't understand it Gerald," Arnold told his friend as they sat at the lunch table.
"Look man," Gerald tried to explain, "sometimes girls are just too confusing. They're never satisfied and they're completely unpredictable. I mean, one minute you're sittin' cozy and the next they're ready to rip your head off!"
Arnold sighed and pushed his lunch tray away.
"What's the matter Arnold?" Sid asked from across the table.
"I'm just not very hungry today Sid."
Gerald pulled Sid and Stinky away from the table for a moment while Arnold sulked.
"Look guys, I'm really worried about him." Gerald whispered.
"Yeah, he's lower than dung beetles in a cow pasture." Stinky observed.
"Uh---what he said." Sid agreed.
"Well, you know what we gotta do." Gerald spoke seriously.
Stinky and Sid exchanged looks of confusion, "What?"
Gerald was ready to scream, "We've got to get those two back together!"
"How are we supposed to do that?!" Sid exclaimed, fearing Helga's wrath if they started meddling.
"And what if Helga doesn't want to date Arnold anymore?" Stinky asked.
"I don't think that's going to be a problem." a female voice stated from behind them.
All three boys spun around, Gerald coming face to face with Phoebe.
"Phoebe! We were---we were just---"
"I know."
"What did you mean that it wouldn't be a problem?" Sid inquired.
Phoebe sighed, "It seems that Arnold isn't the only one taking this break up hard. Helga's quite distressed over the whole matter too."
"Really?" Gerald asked slyly.
"Yes, I wish there was a way of getting those two back together." she continued, "They just seem to balance each other out, you know?"
"Huh?" Stinky scratched his head, "I don't get it. What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means that Arnold's a nice guy who goes around helping people while Helga's a pushy bully who walks around making trouble." Gerald explained.
"It's like Yin and Yang." Phoebe nodded. "Without one the other is unbalanced. But when both are put together, you've got a healthy balanced relationship."
"So what you're basically saying is opposites attract." Sid summed up.
"Exactly." Phoebe smiled.
"Oh." Stinky still didn't get it, big surprise. "Well then, I guess we should just get one of em to go and apologize to the other."
"I'm afraid it won't be that simple." Phoebe said sadly, "Helga's not one to make amends."
"And Arnold doesn't think he did anything wrong." Gerald groaned. "We're just gonna have to find a way to push those two together. They'll have to make up if we don't give em any other choice."
"Gerald!" Phoebe scolded, "You can't force two people to love each other."
"It's worth a try." Sid spoke up.
"Works with pigs." Stinky shrugged.
"It's settled," Gerald stated, "today after school we get Arnold and Helga on the playground and don't let em leave until they've buried the hatchet and gotten back together."
"But-" Phoebe tried to reason with them.
"It's perfect!" Sid grinned.
"Yep, I reckon those two love birds will be back together in no time." Stinky chuckled.
"I don't think-" Phoebe persisted.
The bell rang.
"Time to get back to class." Gerald turned and the other boys followed, leaving Phoebe to stand there and worry about the possible quirks in their plan.
******
Helga was grumbling as she stormed out of the building at 2:45. She hadn't quite been herself all day. Brainy had even gotten away with breathing over her shoulder during their poetry reading session.
"Uh Helga," Phoebe had to try and stop her from heading around back towards the playground. She just knew this would all end in disaster.
"What is it Phoebe?"
"Um…maybe we should walk to my house instead today?"
"No thanks Phoebs." Helga frowned and continued walking, "I'm not into hanging out today. I just wanna go home and try to forget about Arnold." Yeah right, you've got a shrine built to him in your closet! Helga HATED it when her inner voice had a point.
Phoebe cringed as Helga turned the corner and was grabbed by Sid and Stinky.
"AAAHHH!!!! LET ME GO WEIRDOES! YOU'RE BOTH DEAD!" Helga screamed.
"Calm down Helga," Stinky spoke, "We just want ya to sit a spell and talk with Arnold."
Helga's pupils shrank, "ARNOLD?!"
Gerald was patting Arnold's shoulder as they came around to the playground from the other side of the building. "It'll just take a minute man, I-I think I left that sack of kickballs out here after recess. It's tough being the ball monitor you know."
"Yeah…" Arnold stopped dead in his tracks. "H-Helga?"
Stinky and Sid let her go and dodged Old Betsy. "This had better not have been your stupid idea Football Head!"
"What?!" Arnold snapped, "You planned this! Admit it Helga!"
"Fat chance!"
"Why can't you just apologize for losing your temper?"
"Would it kill you to stop meddling in my life for five minutes?!"
They both crossed their arms and turned away from each other.
"Man, this is worse than ever." Sid stated.
"I'm afraid I'm gonna have to conquer." Stinky nodded.
Phoebe tapped Gerald's shoulder, "I tried to tell you. You can't force two people to love each other."
"So now what do we do?" Gerald exclaimed.
"Be patient." Phoebe advised, "These things have a way of working themselves out."
"And what have we here?" a snobby voice questioned.
"Oh no!" Gerald gasped, "Not him again!"
Sure enough, Rex Higgins strolled straight out onto the playground and right up to Helga G. Pataki. "Helga my sweet rose. Whatever are you doing wasting your time here with a strange headed boy like Arnold?"
A glimmer appeared in Helga's eye. Phoebe silently pleaded with her to forget their previous plan and brush Rex off.
"Oh Rex," Helga put her arms around him, "I'm so sorry I ever doubted your love before! It so obvious to me now that you're the only boy for me!"
Arnold's jaw dropped, this was TOO WEIRD!
Rex seemed pleasantly surprised by the strange turn of events. "I'm so glad you've come to your senses Helga my pet."
"Don't EVER call me that," she whispered, "I mean…it's so darling the way you think up all this charming pet names for me Rex my love."
Arnold looked like he was about to rip a certain snob's head off.
"This won't be pretty." Gerald muttered.
"REX! What are you doing here?" he demanded.
"Why, I just came by to see how Helga was doing." Rex slid an arm around her shoulders.
Arnold was ready to BREAK that arm. "Helga! I can't believe you're letting him do that!"
"Well believe it bucko!" she hissed, "Rex here knows how to appreciate a girl and HE'S my new boyfriend."
"Right-o." Rex grinned.
"What?!" every kid on the playground shouted.
"You can't be serious Helga!" Arnold exclaimed.
"Oh I'm serious alright Hair Boy." Helga grabbed Rex by his collar and (reluctantly) placed her lips on his.
Eyes bulged, stomachs turned, and mouths hung open.
"That's it…" Gerald gagged, "I'm puking!"
Arnold was speechless as Helga and Rex pulled apart, "There," she panted, "see. I'm serious."
Rex stumbled backwards and fell to the ground. "Sheesh, you'd think he never kissed a girl before." Helga mumbled.
"Helga!" Phoebe squealed, "Don't you think that was a bit---too much?!"
"Nope."
Gerald had gone behind the dumpster to spew and Stinky and Sid were standing on either side of poor crushed Arnold.
"Gosh Arnold, I'm sorry things didn't work out between you and Helga." Stinky sympathized.
"Yeah man, maybe you're just better off without her?" Sid patted Arnold's shoulder.
Arnold just stood there, staring at Helga in disbelief. "S-so we're really through? You really like Rex more than me?"
Helga felt herself softening again, "Hey, it's not like you loved me or anything Arnoldo." She prayed he'd correct her on that but he just stood there silently.
Tell her! a voice ordered him, Just tell her how you really feel! Or you'll lose her forever…to REX HIGGINS!
"I have to go." Arnold turned and ran off the playground. It started to rain and the bus had long since left. He'd have to run home and get soaking wet. Perfect…just the thing to worsen his mood.
At least now his tears weren't visible due to the rain. If someone had told him a month ago that he'd be crying over getting dumped by Helga G. Pataki, he would've told them they were crazy. But now…he just wanted to go home.
"Helga--" Phoebe spoke softly.
"What?" Helga frowned and looked towards where Arnold had run.
"Nothing…" Phoebe sighed, she added under her breath, "I knew it. You're both---unbalanced."
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*So sad…maybe I'll throw 'em both together in the end. ^_~ Keep reading and reviewing please.*