Disclaimer: I don't own Austin Powers or Fushigi Yuugi. If I did, I wouldn't have to post fics about them would I^^?
It seems like a pretty ordinary day in the FY world. The birds are chirping, the river is flowing, and the grass is swaying in the breeze. But in a secret underground hiding place (Chiriko: Otherwise known as a lair) somewhere in Konan, certain things are occurring that are VERY strange indeed.
Mitsukake: *from Evil-Genius-type chair*………*pets Tama-neko*
Chiriko: Mitsukake says that he is an evil doctor who is going to take over the Seiryuu Cookie Factory in Kutou and use the chocolaty goodness of the cookies to rule the world.
Tasuki: Are you a *beeping* psychic or something?
Chiriko: No, I am Mini-Mits, the clone of Mitsukake (A/N: imagine Chiriko with Mitsukake's hairstyle!! XD), who helps him feed Tama-neko. And take over the world too, I suppose.
Nuriko: So...you want us to help you take over a cookie factory?
Mitsukake: *slow nod*
Chiriko: Yes, that is his intention. Any questions?
Tamahome: *raises hand* Do we get paid for this?
Chiriko: Technically, if we provided you with a customary salary of one ryou per hour, it would prove to be inadequate by local standards and would thus command an increase in revenue which would prove to be-
Tamahome: Erm…so was that a yes or a no?
Chiriko: Your proposition is declined.
Tamahome: Huh??
Chichirii: He means no na no da!
Tasuki: Boy Tama, you're not only slow but stupid as well…
Mitsukake: ………….
Chiriko: Mitsukake demands that you do not insult the name of Tama-neko. From now on, Tamahome is to be called 'Butterfly'!
Tamahome: Huh????? What does a butterfly have to do with me??
Chichirii: Nothing no da…
Tasuki: You sure as heck don't look like a *beeping* butterfly to me…
Nuriko: I could change that! *assaults Tama with make-up kit*
Tamahome: NOOOOOO!!!!!
Chichirii: Wow Butterfly-san…you look a lot like Tomo no da!!!
Tasuki: Nah…he's worse…
Tamahome: *frantically rubbing away the red and gold smears* Shaddup…
Mitsukake: ………………………
Chiriko: Mitsukake says that you'll all be magically transported to the factory, where you'll meet an assortment of assassins and may never come back alive.
All: oO
Tasuki: Isn't he supposed to be our friend or something??
(There is a bright flash of light. Chichirii & co. find themselves standing outside an electric pink building with the words "Seiryuu's Property, No Chickens Allowed" printed on one side)
Nuriko: Well…I guess this is the place…
(Doors swing open creakily. Chichirii & co. walk in)
Chichirii: Ooh…creepy no da…
Tasuki: Hey…check this out! *reads sign* Seiryuu Cookie Factory. No flash photography please. Be advised that any attempt to take over, especially if it is at the order of the evil doctor Mitsukake, will result in severe, and probably fatal, damage to your health. Thank you, and have a nice day.
Tamahome: -_-;; Okay, who votes for leaving right now??
(Lights turn on. Nakago and the rest of the Seiryuu seven appear)
Nakago: Bwahahahaha!!! I knew you Suzaku losers couldn't pass up a chance like this!!! I've been waiting for you…and now it's time for revenge!!!!
Nuriko: But we've never come here before…
Amiboshi: -_-;; We know…
Suboshi: -_-;; We've been camping out here for three months already…
Miboshi: Way to be secretive guys…*shakes head*
Tasuki: Three *beeping* MONTHS??!! You guys must be really desperate…
Soi: And girl. Why does everyone always forget the girl???
Hotohori: Whatever…we have come to take over the Cookie Factory, and take over the Cookie Factory we shall!!
Nakago: And what in the name of Seiryuu's frilly pink tutu makes you think that I'm gonna let you do that??
Chichirii: Because of this no da!
(There is a flash of red light, and Miaka appears on a chain, drooling and gnashing her teeth)
Suboshi: oO Isn't she your Miko??
Ashitare: Even I am more refined. *chases tail*
Chichirii: Anyway no da, she hasn't eaten in five hours. And this IS a cookie factory no da.
Nuriko: So surrender now, or your cookies will be demolished in twelve seconds flat!!
Nakago: Ha! And you expect us to believe you??
Tamahome: No really, we're serious about this one.
Tomo: Krakakaka!! I can handle this one. *casts illusion and Miaka begins chomping on the air*
Miaka: Cookies!! ^_______^ Mmmmmmmmmm…..
(A large puddle of drool begins to form)
Nuriko: Eew! Gross!
Hotohori: Don't let it touch my shoes!! *clambers on top of Tamahome*
Tamahome: I hope you're gonna pay for the ride…
Tasuki: This is *beeping* disgusting!!! LEKKA SHIENN!!! *Tessen splutters and goes out with a POP* *BEEP* Miaka, when's the last time you used mouthwash??!
(The puddle grows into a lake, which soon becomes an ocean. Soon, all (well, most of) the seshi are piled on top of Nakago, who is balancing on a table that is floating around)
Tomo: AHH!!! We're all gonna fall in!!! Then what'll happen to my make-up?
Nuriko: And my hair!
Hotohori: And my face!!!
All three: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Nakago: Stop moving up there before I throw you in myself.
Tomo: But Nakko-kun…
Nakago: SHUT UP!!!
(Chichirii is floating on the kesa (kasa??), having tea with Miboshi, who is also hovering above Miaka's latest creation. Ashitare is splashing about in the gunk and having the time of his life)
Soi: That's horrible…I may be scarred for life!! Nakago! Comfort me!!
Nakago: I'm a BIT preoccupied at the moment…
Soi: *sniff*
Suboshi: What are we DOING??! Tomo, just get rid of the stupid illusion so Miaka will stop eating and drooling!!
Amiboshi: Now why didn't I think of that??
Tomo: Erm…I can't…
All: WHAT??! WHY????!!!
Tomo: We-eeell…I sorta dropped Shin in…there…when I was trying to get on Suboshi's shoulders.
All: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
(And so, the seshi were stuck there for a week until Miaka left and the slobber dried up)
Nakago: Oh sweet Seiryuu how my legs hurt…*plops down on floor*
Chichirii: Daa! That was enjoyable no da^^
Miboshi: I think I ate one too many crumpets…
(Ashitare prances by, showering everyone with dribble)
Suboshi: DARNED DOG!!! *uses Ryuuseisui on Ashitare* DIIIIIEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
(Ashitare now has a big hole in him. Everyone pretends not to notice)
Nakago: If ya still want it, the Factory is all yours.
Nuriko: Really?
Nakago: Well…yeah. Who wants a slime covered cookie factory anyway? We could always move out HQ to the Caramel Making Plant and wait for you there.
Chichirii: Why…that's awfully kind of you no da…
Nakago: Whatever…cookies are bad for your teeth anywayz…*he and the rest of the Seiryuu disappear*
Tasuki: Well…we've finally got the *beeping* factory…can we *beeping* GO already??!
(And so, Mitsukake used the cookie factory to manufacture lots and lots of double chocolate chip cookies, which he used to bribe Suzaku into making him Emperor of Konan. From there, he used his tremendous cookie power to overcome the rest of the world, and made himself KING!! With Mini-Mits and Tama-neko at his side, of course. But, unfortunately for Hotohori, this also meant the he got demoted, and he became Mits' personal cat-washer)
The (very insane) end.
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