My name is Chang Wufei. I was raised a scholar, on the colony of L5. At 13, I was married to Lon Meiran, a girl I did not love. But, as arrogant as I was, I could not help but admire her fire. That fire scared me. Women, I have been taught, were delicate creatures of support, embracing and yielding beneath the greater Yang. I… have been proven wrong. Many times. I did not know what I sought, as a child, as a boy, but was thrust into this war nevertheless. And it hurt. I'd tried to be as strong as I'd been taught, but I had not realized true strength. Sally and Treize helped me overcome that, but even so I remained lost. It took Heero to truly shock me back to myself. I have been raised a scholar, but in fighting I tried to create a new definition of myself. A definition which, in the end, proved wrong. So now I am again looking for my truth. I have been both the scholar and the warrior; now I must be Wufei. It is a mission I fear, very much.
I have taken up Sally's offer in the Preventers, the cause is worthy. The other pilots are here too, though on a more part-time basis. They have other lives with which to compromise. I do not. Or rather, I have not yet found it.
I like this effort. It is as worthy as I had thought. And working with the other pilots is… satisfying. We work very well together, and have yet to fob a mission. The Peacecraft… is also doing well. She has realized the inherent flaws of Absolute Pacifism, and her new ideals of peace are being very well received. I had not, in my violent history, ever truly taken in the People. But, now, since the child, the people of both the earth and colonies are taking of the banner of peace in a conviction that stuns me. These people are weak, yes, but are also strong. Much stronger than I have ever been. They have come to realize the role they must play in their fates, and — even if only for one brief, shining moment — I saw what such 'weaklings' can do. It is a lesson not to be forgotten. But, there are, and I suppose always will be those unworthy of such strength. And that is where my mission lies. Not in directing the People, not in fighting in their place, not even in protecting them. There is no need. For me, keeping the worthy free of such scum's advances, and allowing them to fight the real battles, is my purpose. I may, or others, have to one day take up the War again someday. But now, now I know Why.
Fire, stifling in searing grey
the enemies I must accept
Ice, breaking beneath frozen night,
the friends I must support
Both clawing at heart so young
Both lost from truth, bereft
Of the home they cannot see
---excerpt(s) from the Journal of Chang Wufei