Choices

by ShortyGurl

Buffy and the Gang travel to LA to enlist Angel's help with another apocolypse. Sparks fly

Choices

"They're here!!" Cordelia shouted, racing to the door of the hotel. Then, stopping, she turned to Angel. "You ready for this?"

Angel took an unnecessary breath and nodded, prompting Cordy to throw open the door to their guests.

*******************************
4 days earlier

"Apparently, within 2 weeks, a new portal to Hell will open, and a seemingly endless supply demons will spring forth. We can plug it up, but we'll need help to get through the hoarde." Willow said.

"Great" sighed Buffy. She leaned onto Spike's shoulder, and he responded by slipping his hand into hers and resting his head in her hair. She still wasn't used to the little romantic things he did like that He had come back from Africa with a brand new soul, and his feelings for her never changed. She finally accepted his love, and returned it, much to his surprise and delight. Her friends had actually accepted it better than she had expected. Xander took it hard at first, but eventually his problems with Anya had pushed all thoughts of Spike and Buffy out of his head. But now they had another problem. Yet another apocalypse was looming ahead, and this time, Buffy and the Scooby gang couldn't do it alone. This new portal opened in Los Angeles. Angel's town. Buffy didn't want to see him all that much anymore. She had learned about his fling with Darla, his son, and sparks of a romance between him and Cordelia. **Cordelia!!** Buffy thought. **What the hell is he thinking?** She also didn't want to see him because of Spike. She knew he wouldn't approve of them being together. She wasn't sure why she still cared. She didn't mess with his love life, and he shouldn't mess with hers. Hey, maybe he wouldn't even notice. She inwardly laughed at that, then sighed. This was going to be a disaster.
Later, after all the arrangements had been made and the phone calls placed, the gang headed for LA.

*************************
4 days later

Cordy threw open the door, shouting a loud "Hey!" before letting them through the door. Xander walked in first, smiling at Cordelia, Angel, Fred, and Gunn. Then Willow. Then Dawn. And finally, Buffy, closely followed by Spike. Angel's eyes narrowed when he saw Spike. He was holding....Buffy's hand. Now why was that? Buffy let go to hug Cordy, then she came to Angel. She stood in front of him, looked him in the eye, and nodded a little. She did the same to Gunn and Fred. Meanwhile,Cordy was babbling on about rooms.

"See we're kinda in the middle of renovations...how many rooms do you need?" Cordy asked.

"Just four" Buffy said

Cordy brightened. "Perfect!! Four rooms, coming up."
Angel cleared his throat a little. "Four?" he asked. "There's five of you." He raised an eyebrow, waiting for an answer,hoping it wasn't the answer he was fearing. Buffy handed it to him.

"Four", she repeated. "One for Willow, one for Xander, one for Dawn, and one for me and Spike."

Angel's face fell and he bit back a growl. Spike couldn't help but notice the look on his face. Priceless. Just to make it worse for the poofter, he snaked his arm around Buffy's waist and pulled her to him. Then he smirked at Angel. Angel's eyes narrowed. Cordelia came to the rescue, because seeing the two vamps facing off made them all nervous. She started ushering the gang to their rooms, Angel following closely behind. She lead Spike and Buffy to a large room, right beside Angel's.

Buffy smiled. "This is great. Very nice.We'll just get settled in and hit the sack." Cordelia nodded and left the room, leaving Angel, Spike, and Buffy all staring at one another. Spike broke the silence.

"Right then. You heard the lady, Peaches, my Buffy needs her beauty sleep." At her somewhat hurt expression, he added "not that she could get anymore beautiful." He leaned down to kiss her and she kissed back, both totally forgetting about Angel standing right there. They snapped out of it when they heard the door to the room slam shut.

*********************************************

Angel slammed the door to his room, headed toward the bed, and flopped back on it. Seeing Buffy kiss Spike had beyond pissed him off. He felt like throwing something. Why was she with him?? She couldn't love him. Angel had heard about Spike's soul, but never thought something like that could change Buffy's mind so fast. He wanted to go out, maybe have a drink,fight some crime,and kick some ass. But LA had been quiet lately, and most of the nights he spent reading. Sometimes he thought. Thought about Conner or Cordelia and the gang. Usually it was about Buffy. He couldn't help it. He sighed, realizing he was thinking about her yet again, and decided to get something to read. Then he groaned. All of his books were in the bedroom that Buffy and Spike were currently occupying. He decided just to get one and quickly get out. It was his house after all.He should be able to just go get a book. It was past one in the morning, but he knew she probably wasn't sleeping. Buffy and the gang had arrived late, probably because of Spike's little sun problem. He walked in front of the door, raised a fist to knock, and stopped dead when he heard murmurs from behind the wood.

Buffy was saying "God Spike is that all you think about??"

Angel heard Spike chuckle, followed by several smacking noises and Buffy's quiet moaning. Man he needed a drink.

************************

Four hours later, Angel was still at the bar, an almost empty bottle in front of him. He took one more shot before deciding to go home. He'd been gone awhile, maybe Buffy and Spike were finished. He hated Spike. He tried to kill Buffy. He was an evil vampire. He got to be with Buffy and Angel couldn't. Bingo. That's why he hated him so much. Angel remembered well his time with Buffy, spending hours making out in the cemetery, talking, laughing, the time they made love. He snorted and got off the barstool, flicked some money at the bartender and walked out the door. He could smell the sunrise coming. He walked quickly, getting back to the hotel just as the sun's rays were starting to show. He went to the kitchen to get blood, but stopped short when he saw Buffy in his kitchen, wearing a very short black skirt and a white tank top that accentuated her curves VERY well. Apparently she didn't notice him as she put bags of blood in the fridge. Still half-drunk,he decided to say something.

"Have fun last night?" Shit. Definitely NOT what he wanted to say

Her head snapped up. "What?"

He half-smiled. "Uhm, I mean....did you sleep okay?

She returned the smile full blast. "Yeah. Great." Then she returned to putting the blood in the fridge. It was B-positive, his favorite.

"For me?"

She blushed. "For Spike."

He growled again, but if she heard it, she ignored it. "Ah yes. Can I ask you a question?"

She looked at him a little warily, then slowly said "Sure"

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH SPIKE?!??!?!!?" He handout meant to yell. It must've been the alcohol taking over his brain again.

She jumped back. She'd expected him to be mad, but not like this. For the first time since Angelus, she was a little afraid of him. But she stood her ground, looked him in the eye, and said "I love him"

He stepped toward her. "No you dont. When I left, it was to let you move on with a human guy!! Not another freak show!!"

That pissed her off. "I DO love him, and who are you to say what's right for me, or who I can love!?!" She was screaming now as well, not really caring if they woke up everyone in the place. "And not like you like anybody I ever go out with anyways!! You beat up Riley, and now you're just attacking Spike because you're jealous!! And besides, you have all of your little women!!"

He was stunned, but calmer. "What women?"

She looked him in the eyes, fresh tears threatening to spill over. "Darla, and Cordelia. Dont think I haven't heard about them."

"Buffy, I didn't love Darla. And there's nothing going on between me and Cordy."

"It doesn't matter. You're missing the point." At Angel's confused look, she started again. "We're not together anymore. I'm with Spike. I love him."

Angel flared up again. He was mad at mostly himself for getting out of control, for yelling at her, for making her cry. "Fine." His voice came out colder than he had wanted it to. "But when he breaks your heart or just downright kills you, remember me saying 'I told you so'." He stormed out of the room.

Buffy sank to the floor, tears spilling from her eyes. Why did he still have this effect on her? It wasn't supposed to be like this. Why should what he said still upset her? Apparently they had woken up the whole place, because everybody came rushing into the kitchen. Spike swept down and pulled her into his arms, and Willow, Xander, and Dawn helped pull her to her feet. Buffy shrugged them all off and walked toward Cordy.

"We're going to leave. We'll fix this portal thing ourselves. I cant stay here anymore" she declared.

Cordelia shook her head. "Willow told me about this thing. You cant do it alone. We'll help you. I'll talk to Angel."

Before she could protest, Cordy had her gliding back to the room, and promised to make something to eat for them. Then she left. Spike sat down on the bed with her.

"You all right,luv?"

She sniffled and leaned on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her. "He was so mean. I dont know why he still can hurt me that bad, but he did. I've never seen him like that."

Spike nodded and growled "You want me to kick his ass?"

Buffy smiled and chuckled a little. He could always make her laugh. "No, I just want to go back to sleep."

They cuddled back on the bed, and Buffy quickly fell asleep in his arms.

**************************************
"What the hell were you thinking??" Cordy screamed.

Angel squirmed. It was bad enough that he had hurt Buffy. Now Cordy, Buffy's gang, and Buffy herself were all mad at him.

He sighed. "I dont. know. I got mad. I lost my temper. And I was pretty drunk."

Cordy shook her head. "Not an excuse. You really hurt her bad."

He snorted. "Since when did you start caring?"

She looked away. "I did....I mean I do. Just dont go there ok? Go apologize to her"

***************************************

"Buffy I...." he stopped and sighed. He just couldn't find the words.

She looked up at him."I get it. You dont have to say anything"

He smiled weakly, then scratched his head. "Thanks." Then there was a weird awkwardness between them, so he spoke up. "So back to the portal to hell thing..."

She nodded, and her tone took on a business-like manner. "Right. Portal. It opens in 3 days. We'll need you, Cordy, and your gang to help us get through the mass of demons. Then we should be able to bind it."

He nodded. "Alright."

They returned to the silence. Then, Spike came up beside Buffy, put his arm around her, and glared at Angel.

"Come on, luv, lets go out. Get out of this sodden place."

Buffy smiled at him. "Sure. It's been awhile since I've been to LA."

And with that, Spike had led her to the door and they were gone, leaving Angel standing alone in the hallway.

*****************************************

The evening was wonderful. One of the best nights Buffy has had since...well,she couldn't even remember. They walked down the streets of Los Angelus, hand in hand, and for a brief minute, she forgot everything.She forgot that she was a vampire slayer and the man beside her was a souled vampire. She never thought time with Spike could be like this. When they got back to Angel's hotel, there was no one in sight. She was glad. It was too good of a night with Spike to have Angel around.

******************************
"Mmmm....oh god SPIKE!"

Spike gave one last thrust, pulled out, and rolled off her, panting even though he didn't have to. She rested her head on his chest.

"That was amazing."

"It always is, luv"

"Oh no. You dont think we woke anybody up do you? Angel's room is right next door, and Willow's is across the hall." She blushed a little. "I know how loud we can be."

"Relax, pet. I'm sure these walls are pretty sound-proof."

***********************************************

Angel lifted the pillow off his head. Sometimes vampire hearing could be a bitch. He had heard everything. What was worse, it got him excited himself. He could just imagine being Spike, having Buffy underneath him.....around him...hearing her shout his name as she came. He groaned at the pain in his pants. It had been a long time since he'd seen Buffy, and an even longer time since they'd made love.So why was he thinking about her now, and like every other minute of the day? Of course, he was still in love with her. That probably would never change. He thought he'd gotten over her a little though. But seeing her, being near her, made the sparks fly again. They were soulmates,and he knew they belonged together.There had to be a way to get her back.

**********************************************
A sharp tapping noise on the door awoke Willow. She opened it, somewhat surprised to see Angel there. He was so much different than the Angel he was in Sunnydale. He seemed to brood less. He actually seemed like a normal guy. If, a normal guy was a vampire-with-a-soul-crime-fighting-person.

She smiled politely. "Hey Angel. Come on in." She gestured across the threshold of the room and he stepped in.

"Hi Willow. I'm just here to...ask you a favor." He shifted uncomfortably.

Willow noticed his discomfort. "Sure. Anything. Well, anything I can do."

"I want to remove the curse on my soul. I want Buffy back."

Willow immediately shook her head no. "I....I cant"

He looked at her. "Sure you can. It shouldn't be hard, especially for you. I mean, they used these magics hundreds of years ago. It cant be hard now."

She shook her her head again. "No, Angel, I cant. I cant do magic."

He looked at her like she'd grown an extra head. "I know you can. I've seen you do it lots of times."

"No!!" she yelled. She took a moment to compose herself, then continued. "I cant do magic. I got addicted to the black magic. I'm sort of in rehab now. If I start doing it again, I may never be able to stop."

Angel looked down, ashamed and disappointed. All he could manage was a small "Oh."

She nodded. "I'm sorry. But Angel, are you sure you want Buffy back? I mean, you did leave her so she could have a normal life. Getting her back now kinda defeats the purpose doesn't it?"

His head snapped up. "I did want that. But its obvious she doesn't. I mean, her thing with Spike proves that doesn't it? He cant do any of the things I cant. He cant take her into the light, or give her kids.But I love her so much. And now that I know she really honestly doesn't care about those things, I think there could be a chance."

Willow shifted. "But she's with Spike." He growled a little and she stepped back.

"She cant love him.There's no way. And if I can get the "no true happiness" curse lifted, I know she'll come back to me."

Willow sat on the bed. Angel said something about going to find someone who could perform the spell and left the room. Things were about to get interesting.

**********************************

"Easy enough, I guess." the woman said.

"I figured it would be. When can you do it?" Angel asked.

"Get me these supplies and I can do it right now." The young witch handed him a list.He left and returned as quickly as he could. Buffy would soon be his again.

*********************************************
Kick, punch, punch, kick. With one twist of her foot, the punching bag detached from the chain and flew across the room. Damn, that was the third time that had happened. Angel should really look into getting a stronger punching bag. Buffy sat down on a chair, breathing hard, and reached for her water bottle. Angel's basement work out room was pretty nice, in a sort of way. As she downed the last of her water, Angel strode through the door.

"Buffy"

"Angel."

"Training?" Duh. Jeez, he was like a teenager around her. Stupid questions were always popping out of his mouth.

She nodded and looked around. "It's nice. Better than the Magic Shop back room."

He smiled at that and took in her appearance. Tight black pants, blue tank top, hair back. And her skin...it was so flushed. She looked beautiful. Shaking out of his daze, he looked at her and said "So where's Spike? I'm guessing you guys train together a lot."

She looked toward the door and shrugged. "Yea. He said he'd be down in awhile."

"Oh."

She looked him up and down, finally meeting those chocolate brown eyes she fell in love with so many years ago. "You wanna spar? Me and Spike usually do that, but maybe he got lost." She giggled.

He really hoped that was true. Trying hard not to sound too eager, he simply said "Sure."

She got up off the chair and then they were dancing. Every kick, every block. It all looked so perfectly choreographed. It was like being back in Sunnydale with a 17 year old Buffy. Finally, he got the upper hand and knocked her flat on her back. Without thinking, he leaned down over her. Then he was on top of her holding himself up with his arms. He heard her heart rate speed up, but couldn't tell if that was because of him or the work out. He hoped it was the former. His head slowly dipped down, his lips softly grazing hers. It had been too long.

A million thoughts were racing through Buffy's head. Angel was on top of her, kissing her in that soft and slow way he had. He was kissing her top lip, then her bottom, then both. She opened her mouth more and his tongue snaked in. She forgot how good of a kisser he was. It was different from the kisses she shared with Riley, or Spike. Spike. The name sounded in her head like a bell. She loved Spike. She screamed "No!" and pushed Angel off with such force that he went flying across the room. She stood up, breathing hard, and looked at Angel in a heap. He stirred and stood up.

"What the hell are you doing? Why did you...that was wrong!!"

He looked a little ashamed. Good, he should be. Then he slowly shook his head. "I dont know. I'm sorry."

She stuttered and picked up her stuff. "I...I should go." And with that, she was heading upstairs.

Angel stood staring after her. He knew why he had kissed her. And he wasn't sorry. It just enforced his belief that he and Buffy belonged together. That kiss.....wow. There was definitely something there, he knew it. And he knew she felt it too. Maybe there was hope for them yet.

**************************************

Willow ran into Buffy in the hallway. "Oh, Buffy! I need to talk to you."

Buffy looked up at her. "Can it wait?"

Willow shook her head. "No, I think you'll want to know this. to know this."

They sat down in the hall and Willow told her everything. About Angel coming to her, wanting to get the curse lifted, and how he probably did already. That he he still wanted her. Loved her even. With every word, Buffy's face went paler. Willow wasn't sure how to comfort her. She didn't have to, as Buffy asked her to leave her alone for awhile. Willow left an obviously distressed Buffy alone with her thoughts.

**********************************

Buffy went back to her room. What the hell had just happened? Angel kissed her.Willow had told her that he had come to her asking for the curse to be lifted. He still loved her. She wasn't sure what her feelings towards him were. But obviously there was still something there. She had kissed him back.when he kissed her. She felt so bad. She knew it was only a few seconds, but it had happened. She was glad Spike wasn't in their room.It would be too hard facing him just now. She needed to go somewhere. Somewhere away from here where she wouldn't run into Spike or Angel. Somewhere where she could think.She grabbed her purse and left the hotel without anybody noticing she'd left.

***********************************
"Buffy!!??"

Spike, Angel, Willow, Dawn, Xander and Cordelia were searching the hotel. It was a lengthy job, because it had quite a few rooms. And she was in none of them. Nobody had seen her for hours. Angel had said she'd been in the workout room around 2, but that was almost 12 hours ago. He didn't tell them what had happened.

"What if she left? Went back to Sunnydale?" Dawn was saying.

Xander shook his head. "Her stuff's still there. She didn't leave."

Spike checked another room and sighed. He didn't like Buffy disappearing like this. He knew she was a big girl and she could take care of herself quite well, but still, he was really protective of her. Buffy called it a pain, but secretly je knew she liked him looking out for her.

Willow, always trying to ease everyone's fears, spoke up. "She's probably just gone out."

Dawn gulped. "I hope.The portal opens in like a day, and we definitely need her."

Just then the door to the hotel swung open and Buffy strode through. Everyone turned to face her. "Need who?" she asked.

Spike came forward and swept her into a hug. Willow was next. After Xander and Dawn had finished, Angel did the same. She broke free of the hug rather violently,then turned to the group.

"What? Why are you all staring at me like that?" she asked.

"Jeez Buffy you were gone for like 12 hours. What happened? Where were you?" Dawn questioned.

Buffy looked at all of them. Dawn looked scared, Xander and Willow looked relieved, and Spike looked like he was half relieved and half pissed off. She didn't even look at Angel.

"Nothing happened. I just went out. I dont need the third degree from you guys. Dawn, go to bed, its late. Xander, Willow, you too. We have a full day of training tomorrow and I need you to be prepared. Same with you guys." She gestured toward Spike and Angel but didn't look at them.

Everybody just stood there. "GO!!" she ordered. Dawn, Willow and Xander all scurried off and Spike followed her as she went to their room.

**********************************************
Buffy changed into her pajamas and got under the covers. Spike watched her curiously.

"Luv?"

"What?"

"Where were you?" He handout wanted to ask it, but he just wanted to know.

"Out. Walking.And dpnt give me that face. I wasn't doing anything wrong."

He could sense her getting mad, so he tried to repair the damage. "I know pet. I just get worried about you sometimes. I know you'd never do anything wrong."

She nodded numbly.So much he didn't know. She did do something wrong. She kissed Angel. But was that wrong?? She'd left to clear her head and think. Somewhere between Angel kissing her and hearing from Willow of all people that he wanted her back, her brain just stopped. She came back more confused than when she left..She knew she loved Spike, and she loved Angel. There was no denying that. That kiss had only sparked the flame inside her she thought was dead. She wanted Angel. And she wanted Spike. It was so confusing. She couldn't help it, she started to cry. Spike held her close and let her cry out all of her tears. She eventually cried herself to sleep.

*****************************

Spike had no idea what was up with Buffy. She had never disappeared or cried like that without telling him a reason. Somehow though, he knew Angel had something to do with it. Bloody wanker. He wondered what he did this time. He silently resolved to confront Angel tomorrow and get what was really going on.

*******************************
Angel sat in a chair in the lobby. He had been there ever since Buffy had gotten home from wherever she had been. He thought of how she shoved him away when he hugged her. He needed to tell her about the curse, and soon. She was going home very shortly. But would she go home after he told her? What if she didn't return his love? She did once. But she was young then. It was all so hard.Her family and Spike would probably all hate her. All he knew for sure was that he had to have Buffy in his life. And he didn't really care who he hurt to get her.

**********************

Buffy awoke to Spike looking at her and stroking her hair.She leaned into his touch. He leaned down and kissed her, softly at first, then more passionate. God she loved him.She hadn't said a word, and yet he knew what she wanted. It wasn't long before they had stripped each other and he was inside her. Buffy moaned and gasped as her orgasm approached. She needed this. Even after sleeping on it, she was still completely confused about her little situation. Both men loved her. She loved both of them.So when the day came, would she go home with Spike or stay here with Angel? She didn't even know if Angel had gotten the curse lifted. Once they both came, Buffy got up to take a shower. She had to spend the day training with Spike, Angel, Willow and Xander. Maybe Cordy and Gunn too. Funny how she handout seen much of them. She stepped out of the shower and headed towards the training room. She hoped Angel had fixed the punching bag, because she was gonna knock it across the room again.

******************************
Spike walked down the stairs, hoping to find Angel. He was there, on a lobby chair, sleeping. Wanker. He stood in front of him and watched as Angel stirred and looked up at him.

"Spike.Once again, not a pleasure to see you."

"Shut your trap Peaches. I've come to ask you something."

Angel stood up. "What?"

Spike straightened his shoulders. "What happened between you and Buffy?"

Angel's head snapped around. Had she told him? "Nothing." he lied.

"Bullshit. Something made her run out last night, and I'd wager that something was you."

"We kissed." Angel said quietly. Why he said it quietly, he wasn't sure. He wasn't really afraid of pissing him off. Angel could take him. Angelus did it all the time.

Spike snarled and grabbed Angel by the throat, pinning him to the chair. "She kissed you? Or you kissed her?"

Angel kicked him off. "Doesn't matter. She's gonna be mine within a day or so anyways."

In one swift movement, Spike shot out his foot and tripped him.He straddled him and hit him in the face over and over again. Angel wriggled a fist free and punched him in the face. Both were vamped out as they circled each other. Spike lunged and Angel sidestepped him, sending him skidding on the ground. It didn't take long before Angel was on him, hitting him and saying "payback time."

Under his rapidly swelling eye, Spike saw a pair of hands grip Angel's shoulders and fling him off Spike. Buffy knelt down beside him and stroked his face before she stood up.She looked at the them, both bloodied and hurt. She bit her lip like she always did when she was upset.

"Someone wanna tell me whats going on here?" Her voice was dangerous.

Spike was the first to speak up. "Something going on between you and Angel that you wanna tell me, luv?"

Her eyes widened. She turned to Angel. "What did you tell him?"

Angel wiped his face and said, "The truth. We kissed."

Buffy was stunned. "It was wrong. Which was why I pushed you off."

"Dont tell me you didn't enjoy it! You cant tell me that when I kissed you you didn't feel something."

Both Spike and Angel waited for a long time.She didn't know what to say. She did feel something after that kiss, but she didn't know what it was. She wasn't sure if it was just love from the past or a new feeling. She put her head in her hands and sank to the chair, sobbing. Spike just watched,and Angel went and put an arm around her, which she shoved off.

Tears running down her face, she glared at him. "Dot touch me!! I cant lie to you. I did feel something. I did. And I cant help it. God I'm so confused!!"

She turned to Spike. Her voice was softer, pleading. "Spike...."

"Dont bother Slayer. I'll get out of your face. Leave you and your real love by yourselves. Why bother having the subsitute if you can have the real thing?" With that, he grabbed his duster and walked out the hotel door, slamming it so hard the wood splintered.

Buffy ran up to her room and threw herself on the bed, sobbing.

*****************************************

Willow walked into the room,carrying some tea. Buffy was still on the bed, crying into Xander's shoulder. Dawn was rubbing her back.

"...And then he just left. Said he was a subsitute and that he'd leave me with the real thing.." Buffy finished between sobs.

"He'll come back. And then you can talk to him." Dawn suggested.

"But Buff, what are you gonna say? You're gonna have to choose between them." Xander said.

Buffy sniffled. "I know. And I dont know who to choose. I mean, I love them both a lot. And now that Angel and I can be together........I just dont know."

She started to cry again. Xander, Willow and Dawn held her, rubbed her back,and whispered comforting words until she fell asleep.

*********************************

Spike sat at the bar, drinking his 12th beer. The events of the night played over and over again in his head. She had admitted her love for another man right in front of him. After all he'd given her, done for her. He wanted to leave then, just get in his car and leave her life. But he knew that tomorrow was the portal day, and that they would need all the help they could get. As mad as he was, he couldn't bear the thought of Buffy getting hurt. Or Dawn or Red. Hell, even Harris. God he was a ponce. He would go back, only to help. Then he would leave her life forever.

**************************************
He entered the hotel minutes before sunrise. He quietly slipped into his and Buffy's room. She was sleeping, although not well. He wanted to crawl into bed with her and hold her, comfort her. But he couldn't, he wouldn't. He started packing his stuff when she woke up.

"Spike?"

He didn't look up. "Just getting my stuff."

She was beside him in an instant. "Where are you going?"

"To another room. Then after we plug the portal, I'm leaving." He looked up for a second, but it was long enough to see tears pooling in her eyes.

Her voice sounded like a wounded child's when she said "You said you were never gonna leave me."

He kept his head down. "Yea, well, I never counted on you falling in love with the poofter. You dont need me anymore."

"I love you."

He swallowed, and blinked back tears. He wanted to hate her, he really did. But he couldn't. "Right. You just love Angel more, right?"

"No. I'm so confused. I dont know what's happening. But I do love you, I swear."

He was done getting his stuff. He stood up, looked at her one more time and left the room, softly closing the door.

*******************************

Later that night, they all assembled in the lobby. Angel,Buffy,Spike,Dawn Willow,Xander, Gunn and Cordy. There was an incredible awkwardness between them, and in silence,they left to face yet another apocalypse.

****************************

The ground rumbled as the portal opened. Before they knew it, the group was surrounded by at least a hundred vampires and other demons. They launched into attack while Xander read the spell to close the portal. About mid-way through the fight, Buffy looked around to see how the others were doing.Cordy and Gunn were holding their own. Willow and Dawn were fending off a demon that looked like a giant snake with two heads. Spike was taking on four vampires at once, and doing a damn good job of it. Angel was taking on a big one-eyed monster who's main power seemed to be growling. Xander was concentrating on the spell. A huge demon came up behind him, and Buffy jumped for it.The thing was tougher than it looked. It kicked her and she flew back onto the ground. As Xander said the last few words of the spell, the demon withdrew an ancient-looking knife from his belt.The last word was spoken, and the portal started to close. The demon loomed over Buffy and plunged the knife into her stomach.

****************************

Spike saw the demon stab Buffy. He jumped on the thing's back and twisted it's neck until he heard a satisfying snap. It fell to the ground and turned into dust on impact. He ran over to Buffy on the ground, breathing hard and clutching her stomach.

"Oh god Buffy." He breathed as he saw the blood leaking from between her fingers.

"Spike..." she said weakly. "Spike......."

"Buffy, luv, dont leave. Hold on. Please please hold on. I love you."

She smiled a little,then her head fell back onto the pavement.

*********************************
In the waiting room of the hospital, Dawn cried against Willow's shoulder, Angel sat on chair with his head in his hands while Gunn patted him on the back, and Xander and Cordelia were leaning against each other. Spike paced. A doctor came out and looked over the group.

"How is she doc?"

"She's unconscious,but she'll be ok."

Spike sighed in relief and went to hug Dawn. She cried into his shirt and whispered "You cant leave. Please dont leave us Spike."

"That's up to Buffy, Nibblet." Spike said. "If she wants me to go, I'll go. And if she wants me to stay, I'll stay."

Dawn looked up at him. "We'll talk to her.You'll see. She loves you."

Spike nodded a little. Willow finished talking to the doctor and came over to them.

"She should be awake soon. You wanna be the first to see her Dawnie?"

Dawn nodded. Willow continued. "She's ok. The doctor told her we can go home in two days, but I think with her slayer healing, she'll be fine by tomorrow."

Angel stood up. "I'm going to go see her."

Dawn pushed him back down. "No, me first. Then Spike,Willow and Xander. Then you."

Spike smirked. God he loved her. She was like his own sister. Angel looked a little stunned. Dawn sat down beside Spike and mumbled "asshole."

Spike whipped his head around. He had never heard her swear like that. "Nibblet."

She looked up and put on her best innocent face. "What?"

"Dont swear."

She looked down. "Sorry. That guy just bugs me."

He was confused. What could she possibly have against Angel? She had only met him a couple of times. He decided to ask her. "Why? What's wrong with Angel?" he couldn't help throwing in, "besides the obvious of course?"

She smiled a little, then frowned. "He's trying to break us up. This little family we're in, he's trying to break it up. He's confusing Buffy. And if she falls for his little plan, we wont be a family anymore."

Tears began to fall from her eyes. Spike pulled her into a hug.He didn't know what to say. If Buffy did choose Angel, he would leave. Then it came to him. Buffy wouldn't choose Angel if she knew Dawn hated him, would she? He leaned towards Dawn. "Maybe you should tell Buffy that when she wakes up."

Dawn nodded. "I'm going to."

*************************************

Angel watched the gang he left behind so many years ago. Willow and Xander were talking to Spike, who had his arm around Dawn. It seemed so unusual. Had they forgotten this was Spike? William the Bloody, Scourge of England. Of course, Angel himself was a killer. He never forgot that. His soul wouldn't let him. Why had Spike gotten a soul? And why were the gang treating him like one of them? He was sitting alone with Cordy, watching the group he very well should be part of. So why wasn't he?

************************************

When Buffy woke up, Dawn went in to see her. She came out in a half an hour and grinned at Spike. He let Willow and Xander go in next. Within 15 minutes, they came out.

"She wants to talk to him." Willow pointed at Angel. He jumped up and walked into the room.

Willow gave Spike a sympathetic look and Dawn screamed "What??!"

Spike got up. He needed to leave.She had made her decision, and it wasn't him. He needed to grieve. Dawn grabbed his hand.

"No, Spike, please dont go. Please please you have to stay with us." she cried.

He shook his head no. "I cant, Bit. She's made her choice. I'm just gonna......" He was stopped short when he saw Angel storm out of Buffy's hospital room, wiping at his eyes. He stormed past them and went out the door, Cordy and Gunn following closely behind. Dawn and Spike exchanged looks. Willow rushed into the room. She stuck her head back out, gave Spike a huge smile, and said "You're up."

He looked nervously between Dawn and Willow, then stalked toward the room.

****************************
She was laying there, on the hospital bed, staring at the celing. Her face lit up when Spike walked in, in that cute little saunter he did. He sat stiffly on a chair beside the bed.

"Something you wanted Slayer?" he asked.

She grabbed his hand. "Spike listen to me. I love you. No one else. I realize that now. When I got stabbed........I thought I was gonna die again. And I realized that I didn't want anyone there but you. Then Dawn and Willow and Xander came in, and 'voiced their opinions' about Angel." She chuckled. "I've never heard Dawn swear like that before. Must've got it from you."

Spike smiled a little. She smiled back and continued. "Love me?"

He looked away so she wouldn't see him tearing up. He turned back towards her and kissed her full lips, a true love kiss. He pulled back for a moment to say "Forever."