In Flight Entertainment
A/N: I would like to thank everyone who's reviewd and am thankful that I have wasted your life by taking a few minutes of it. Thank you.
Now Read on and Review!!!!!!!
Claire to The Official: Darien turned an international flight into an obsenienty filled hell for other passengers and crew. It was a performance that apparently had Australian Test Cricketers* on the flight blushing with embarrassment.
Captain: Hello San-Diego this is Cafe Pacific flight CX171. We are approximately two hours out of Hong Kong . . .
(Our hero is drunk so this is not his normal behaviour, he was in Hong Kong for tests to get the good ol' gland out)
Darien: Hay what the f**k is going on up here?
Captain: Who are you?
Darien: Who the f**k are you? It didn't say f**king 'engaged' on the door. I wanna take a piss.
Captain: Sir, I'm sorry but your not actually permitted up here without authorisation.
Darien: ::points finger:: There's my f**king authorisation.
Captain: Aw, look sir, this is the cockpit.
Darien: AW, your the biggest f**king cock on this flight I can tell that. Hobbesy, come and look at this dickhead in his little uniform.
Captain: Sir.
Darien: What does this button do?
Captain: No don't touch that!
Darien: Attention Hong Kong. This is flight F .*. *. K. Requesting permission to land right up Ginger Spices clacker.
Captain: Sir you not actually permitted up here
Darien: Why? Cause I'm too f**king special is that why? You can't f**king handle it, can ya?
Captain: I'm gonna have to turn this flight around.
Darien: OH! You've lost your bottle, haven't you? You can't handle it, can you?
Captain: Go and get security.
Darien: Cause I'm too f**king special.
Captain: Security. Go and get security.
Darien: Where's my f**king fruit platter?
Captain: Your not supposed to be up here!
Darien: Oh, oh. And I suppose radio-head that . . . that Album of the Year cause he didn't like Oasis's Wonderwall!
Captain: Get security.
Darien: Have you got any blow?
Captain: I'm sorry sir your gonna have to return to your seat.
Darien: I don't want to. First Class is crap, what have you got that's better? What's out here?
Captain: NO! DON'T OPEN THAT!
Opens the window.
Darien: What the f**k is going on out here?
Captain: Get security quick! Somebody send security up here to the Cockpit.
Security Guy: What's going on?
Captain: This man has caused . . . where is he?
Darien: I'm out here on the wing and I want my f**king fruit platter!
Captain: Come back in quickly.
Darien: Not until I have three f**king Supermodles.
Captain: We're gonna have to land.
Darien: Hay look at this. I'm pissing into the wind. ::Singing druckendly:: So . . . nobody knows where I'm gonna be peeing.
*The Test Cricketers got drunk on the plane and interfered with the pilot during the flight, causing him to land at some airport that the Author can't remember cause she doesn't like cricket. Anyway it caused Australia shame by the way it's sportsman behaved . . . and we still haven't let them live it down and that was in 1996 or whenever.
Well, That's it. Last of the chapters. I had to give the CD's back to my friend (I'm forever greatful Greg, thanks!)
If I ever do get them back I'll put fingers to keyboard and put another chapter up. (Just leave me your e-mail: I promise not to sand spam or viruses, okay?)
Oh and keep an eye out for my NEW story coming up in the next few months, called Silver Shadows. Be sure to read it cause it features Carol's EL6 in it. (But it is funny in some chapters.)
Please?
R&R?
I'll give you another Candy.
A/N: I would like to thank everyone who's reviewd and am thankful that I have wasted your life by taking a few minutes of it. Thank you.
Now Read on and Review!!!!!!!
Claire to The Official: Darien turned an international flight into an obsenienty filled hell for other passengers and crew. It was a performance that apparently had Australian Test Cricketers* on the flight blushing with embarrassment.
Captain: Hello San-Diego this is Cafe Pacific flight CX171. We are approximately two hours out of Hong Kong . . .
(Our hero is drunk so this is not his normal behaviour, he was in Hong Kong for tests to get the good ol' gland out)
Darien: Hay what the f**k is going on up here?
Captain: Who are you?
Darien: Who the f**k are you? It didn't say f**king 'engaged' on the door. I wanna take a piss.
Captain: Sir, I'm sorry but your not actually permitted up here without authorisation.
Darien: ::points finger:: There's my f**king authorisation.
Captain: Aw, look sir, this is the cockpit.
Darien: AW, your the biggest f**king cock on this flight I can tell that. Hobbesy, come and look at this dickhead in his little uniform.
Captain: Sir.
Darien: What does this button do?
Captain: No don't touch that!
Darien: Attention Hong Kong. This is flight F .*. *. K. Requesting permission to land right up Ginger Spices clacker.
Captain: Sir you not actually permitted up here
Darien: Why? Cause I'm too f**king special is that why? You can't f**king handle it, can ya?
Captain: I'm gonna have to turn this flight around.
Darien: OH! You've lost your bottle, haven't you? You can't handle it, can you?
Captain: Go and get security.
Darien: Cause I'm too f**king special.
Captain: Security. Go and get security.
Darien: Where's my f**king fruit platter?
Captain: Your not supposed to be up here!
Darien: Oh, oh. And I suppose radio-head that . . . that Album of the Year cause he didn't like Oasis's Wonderwall!
Captain: Get security.
Darien: Have you got any blow?
Captain: I'm sorry sir your gonna have to return to your seat.
Darien: I don't want to. First Class is crap, what have you got that's better? What's out here?
Captain: NO! DON'T OPEN THAT!
Opens the window.
Darien: What the f**k is going on out here?
Captain: Get security quick! Somebody send security up here to the Cockpit.
Security Guy: What's going on?
Captain: This man has caused . . . where is he?
Darien: I'm out here on the wing and I want my f**king fruit platter!
Captain: Come back in quickly.
Darien: Not until I have three f**king Supermodles.
Captain: We're gonna have to land.
Darien: Hay look at this. I'm pissing into the wind. ::Singing druckendly:: So . . . nobody knows where I'm gonna be peeing.
*The Test Cricketers got drunk on the plane and interfered with the pilot during the flight, causing him to land at some airport that the Author can't remember cause she doesn't like cricket. Anyway it caused Australia shame by the way it's sportsman behaved . . . and we still haven't let them live it down and that was in 1996 or whenever.
Well, That's it. Last of the chapters. I had to give the CD's back to my friend (I'm forever greatful Greg, thanks!)
If I ever do get them back I'll put fingers to keyboard and put another chapter up. (Just leave me your e-mail: I promise not to sand spam or viruses, okay?)
Oh and keep an eye out for my NEW story coming up in the next few months, called Silver Shadows. Be sure to read it cause it features Carol's EL6 in it. (But it is funny in some chapters.)
Please?
R&R?
I'll give you another Candy.