Special note to you great readers of this story:  I have been thrilled with all your good wishes on Blind Faith.  Those of you who have generously emailed me, or given your more extensive thoughts in your reviews, have touched me with your generosity.  To hear what you especially like or what emotions are stirred with this story is particularly gratifying and make this torturous journey worthwhile. 

I will be traveling on business the week of August 19th and won't post another chapter until Friday or Saturday, so bear with me.  Ian, Sara, and Gabe---yes, and even Kenny---will be riding a roller coaster of emotions before this story is concluded…so hang in there.  Thanks again!

Chapter Eight – A Little Too Much Reality

"Look…my cause is to bring criminals to justice.  I don't need this thing."

Sara Pezzini

"Your cause is to wield the Witchblade and use its' powers for good.  Your duty is to carry on the line of feminine power that balances this world."

Ian Nottingham

"Come on, Pez.  Open up.  I know you're in there."  Gabriel called out, knocking loudly one more time.  He had knocked on Sara's door three times now.  If he had not known his friend as well as he did, he would have walked away and called later. 

He could hear some movement within the loft apartment, then the deadbolt was sliding open.  She swung the door open but turned her back on him as she returned to a spot she had selected on the sofa in her living room. Without a word of greeting, she pulled a comforter over her thin body, clad in gray sweats.  As he sat in a chair nearest her, he got a better look.

"God…Sara.  You look like…" Gabriel was struggling to find the right word.

"Hell?" She asked.  A strand of hair fell across her sweat-streaked and blotchy face.  Her normally flawless skin was ravaged and her lips were dry and peeling.  The dark circles under her eyes, that he had noticed after her attack, were more pronounced, making her pale skin look ghastly.

"No…Shit!  You look like shit!"  He replied honestly.  He was never one to beat around the bush.

"Nice, Gabe.  Quit flirting with me…it'll just go to my head."  Despite her pained expression, Sara managed a brief smirk for her friend.

Sara winced as her gut began to twist into a pretzel.  She had not been able to hold down any nourishment, only a bit of liquids was all she could manage.  She knew she was dehydrated.  The headache she had from the moment she walked into her apartment door, the day she left Gabe, had magnified into a full-blown migraine.  Her eyesight was beginning to fail her as a result. She was starting another round of tremors from the extreme cold that coursed through her body.  These bouts alternated with the onslaught of heat flashes that sent her to bed near delirium.  Pulling the blanket around her thin shoulders, she cast her haunted eyes to her friend.

"If I would have known you were coming…I would have put on some makeup."  She teased.  Even in her torment, she could still find her sense of humor, to bolster her spirits and act as a source of strength.  It was never more needed than now. 

"You don't wear makeup.  Why start now?"  Gabe joked, trying to indulge his friend, but his heart was not in it.  "What can I do for you, Sara?  I have to do something for you."  He pleaded.

As Gabe awaited her response, he thought back to his conversation with Nottingham.  Something in the man's eyes conveyed that he knew Sara was hurting…that her condition had deteriorated.  Gabriel knew that Ian was deeply connected to Sara.  If he had been worried about his friend before, Gabe was close to panic at seeing her this way.  He did not want to worry her unnecessarily, but this was untenable.  She would not survive this.  Perhaps Ian was right that she just needed the blade back for he could not imagine her getting any worse. 

Sara was dying.  He could see it in her eyes.  And even more alarming, he got the distinct feeling that she knew it, too.

"I need it back Gabe…I have to have it."  She implored like a drug addict between fixes.  "I'm not sure how long I can do this."  She shook her head and rolled it to one side as if it were too heavy to hold up. 

The voices whispered to Sara.  First in her right ear…then in her left.  Intimate breaths of air…incoherent.  She jerked her head around the room, not worrying what her friend thought of her erratic behavior.

"The blade abandons its wielder…in her darkest hour…darkest…hour!" Ignore the voices, Sara commanded herself.  Ignore the blasted voices!

"Ignore the voices…" Sara mumbled aloud, not even aware she had spoken. 

She shook her head as if her eyes and her mind were plagued by images out of her control.  Gabe knew her words were not meant for him.  His heart was breaking as he watched the life draining from his friend by the minute, as he sat idly by.  He understood Nottingham's desperation.  Researching information on a laptop was all he could do, but Nottingham may be her only hope, he thought.

"Nottingham came by to see me…his second time now."  Gabe spoke quietly. 

"What did you say, Gabe?  Did you say something?  Nottingham?"  Sara was finding it hard to distinguish his voice from the many in her head.

"Yeah…he came by to see me…a while ago."  Gabriel repeated, almost choking back the words.  He was struggling to hide the tears that were glistening in his eyes.  He knew she needed him to remain strong…for her sake.

It did Sara's heart good to hear Ian's name.  Her troubled mind drifted to images of his face…and those eyes of his.  Sara smiled weakly as she pictured Gabriel and Nottingham together…in one room.

"Would love to have been a fly on the wall when you two were together."  She joked as best she could.  Gabriel smirked, despite himself.

"Yeah…had to change my shorts.  He scared the shit out of me."  He admitted, shaking his head with a good-natured grin.  "He's okay though…I've kinda gotten used to Captain Crypto."

"He's an acquired taste…that's for sure."  She agreed, bundling herself into her comforter.  Her eyes drooped.

Sara's condition was not getting any better.  He would not have time to wait for her to get stronger before he informed her of his research, so he decided to just begin.

"I haven't…" Gabe struggled at where to start. Sara could see her friend needing prompting.

"Just spit it out, Gabe.  We've always been honest with each other.  Tell me."  She demanded in her own quiet way.  Gabe was reminded again of her simple courage.  She made it look easy.

"I haven't found anything to help you.  No wielder that has survived the Periculum…and bonded with this symbiotic hunk of metal…has ever been abandoned by it…except at the wielder's death.  Not one has re-bonded…Not one, Pez."  Gabriel looked his friend in the eye. "If this has never been done...then perhaps we are making history.  I just don't know."

"Making wielder history…Not sure what to think about that, Gabriel."  Sara had voiced his thoughts too.

"This thing could abandon you forever, Pez.  You may not ever get it back.  By the looks of you…I'm not sure you could survive that.  Do you?"  Gabe asked, holding his breath for her answer.

"Everything in me…wants it back, Gabriel.  That's all I know.  Is it the right thing?  I can't answer that…It might be like asking a heroine addict if he could use just one more fix."  Sara answered honestly, voicing the harsh reality for the first time.  The undeniable facts of her situation hung oppressively in the air with her very own words.

A long moment of silence fell between the two friends.  Gabriel instinctively walked to her kitchen, getting her some water, knowing where she kept her glasses.  She thanked him with a sad smile, touching his fingers as he handed her the glass.  She took a few sips before she continued.

"I don't know what else to do but trust my instincts on this.  My gut tells me I need to get it back.  I don't know if that is the addiction speaking…or some real understanding of this situation, but I have to go with it."  She assessed, speaking slowly and with great thought.

"I think Nottingham would agree with you."  Gabe smiled.

"How's he holding up?"  Sara asked. 

Gabriel was reminded that Ian had asked the very same question about Sara…in the exact same way.  These two were connected all right.  Not wanting to judge his friend and her taste in men, Gabe knew that Nottingham and Sara were linked well beyond this lifetime.  Who was he to question such a grand cosmic plan? He thought.

"Not good.  I mentioned he had come to see me before?  Well, he told me you are under surveillance by Dante's men…under orders he believes are coming from Irons himself.  Ian wants to use me as a go-between to continue to help you."  Gabe watched his friend's reaction carefully.  She smiled and looked toward the far window, out to her fire escape.  Gabriel knew her thoughts were of him.

"He has been trying to find the blade for you, Sara.  I don't think he is even sleeping." Gabe shook his head with downcast eyes.  "He is so adamant that you are the true wielder…there is no room for doubt in his mind.  He knows it, Chief."  Gabe was of this world…unlike Ian and Sara.  And as such, he could only deal with his own version of reality.  But at this moment, he wished he could borrow just an ounce of Ian's fortitude and clarity on the subject.

Sara could just imagine Ian pleading his case to Gabriel.  Gabe would be the voice of reason but Ian would vehemently hold on to what was in his heart.  She was lucky to have two such passionate men in her corner.

"I think he paid a nightly visit to both Captain Dante and Kenneth Irons.  From what he's told me, Sara…he has left the reservation.  He is on the run from Irons.  When he went to make his house calls, he probably got Dante off your back, but not necessarily the White Bulls.  Ian thinks someone else will be called upon to carry out Irons' orders."  Gabe continued.

"Guess it would be too much to hope that Irons would have changed his mind about wanting me dead after Ian's visit, huh?"  She rubbed her head with her hand, trying to push the pain from just behind her eyes to someplace deeper, less noticeable.

"He told me that he had combed the alley where you had been attacked…and no Twitchblade.  He thinks one of the homeless people in that alley might have it.  He is pursuing all those leads."  Sara looked at him hopefully.  "I just don't know if you should get the thing back, Pez." Gabe's doubt surfaced once again, refusing to be ignored.

By inference, Sara knew that Gabriel was concerned for her being a pretender to the blade.  These thoughts had plagued her also.  It was all she thought about.  His doubts were her doubts.  Yet, she could still not bring herself to tell her friend Gabe that the blade had abandoned her even before her final attack.  The only person she wanted to speak to about this was Ian Nottingham.  She knew he would understand.  Perhaps she was a pretender. But voicing this to her friend Gabriel now might seal her fate…condemn her as a pretender before she could prove otherwise.  She could not do that.  She must know!

Pretender…Pretender…  The voices reverberated in her head and all around her as if they were an echo.

"Gabriel…" Sara's voice was small, almost imperceptible. "Help Ian…find the Witchblade."  She choked on her words. He handed her the glass of water that she had set down on a nearby coffee table, so she could clear her throat.

"I understand, Sara."  Gabe nodded.  "Not sure if this is important but Ian has been referring to Irons as his father.  I had done some research and never found a birth certificate to support this, but that doesn't mean it's not true.  I found newspaper clippings to support his claim that he had been with Irons since he was a child."

Sara thought she knew where her friend was headed with this.

"You think he may have another agenda, Gabriel?"  She asked, wondering what his answer would be…knowing what she wanted to believe.

"Noooo!  After seeing how he feels about you?  No way.  He loves you, Pez."  Gabe's response was more than she had expected.  He saw the look of surprise on her face.  It was the one time since he had walked into her apartment that she looked almost as radiant as she always had before…for a brief moment.

"Love?  Nottingham?"  Sara questioned half-heartedly.  Gabe knew she was in denial.  He laughed.

"Don't look so surprised, Chief.  You have this affect on many of us.  It's your feminine wiles."  He pointed a crooked finger at her with a grin. "Don't try to deny it.  The man is in love with you.  I'm not sure he even knows it himself…so be kind."  He grinned.

Sara smiled to herself.  This pleased her. Nottingham was so passionate where she was concerned.  She knew this from their talks at Annie's bedside.  He was probably in turmoil over her suffering but it made her heart soar that he might be trying to help…out of love for her. 

She had to live through this!  She just had to!

"I must admit that it would not hurt me any to see him right now."  She admitted.  Knowing her gallant white knight, he was not far away, perhaps watching as they were speaking.  Her heart filled with joy at the thought. 

She was not alone in her 'darkest hour'.  Why had she not known this?

"Are the feelings mutual?"  Grinning, Gabe was not going to let this rest.  With Sara's shy smile, she did not have to answer.

"Alright…keep your secrets.  You are a woman of mystery Sara Pezzini."  Gabriel arose from his chair and leaned over to kiss Sara's burning forehead. 

Her chills had switched to a high temperature.  Sweat was trickling down her temples.  Gabe forced her to lie down flat on the sofa.  After giving her several aspirins, he got a washrag and bowl of water from the kitchen.  As he wiped a cool compress across his friend's face and arms, she fell asleep under his watchful care. He knew she would only be able to rest a short while.  Walking to the window nearest the fire escape, he looked across the alley to the neighboring buildings.  He had the distinct impression that he was being watched.  It gave him comfort knowing it was most probably Ian Nottingham, Sara's protector. 

Maybe he was the answer.  He hoped so…for her sake.

Ian Nottingham gazed down to Sara's loft from the rooftop across the street, hidden in the shadows.  It was as if Gabriel Bowman was looking right at him.  The only thing he wished for more than Sara's recovery was that he could be with her now himself.  This was not possible…but he could hope.  It would have to be enough that Gabriel was there with her.  It did not bother him that his beloved had such a friend.  He only wished it could be him standing by her side.

Banrighinn's own words pulled him from his thoughts of Sara.  "Evil abounds…Help the Wielder!"

He could ill afford another moment of self-pity.  He turned and moved stealthily towards the stairs, his long, black coat wafted in the breeze.  She needed him now more than ever. 

He would do what he was trained to do…serve the wielder.