Disclaimer: all characters belong to J K Rowling and Warner brothers.
a/n Story dedicated to Moppet Poppet, Cheating Death's 500th reviewer!
Of Western Stars
By neutral
Chapter twenty-one - of miscommunications
Sirius jerked convulsively, elbow grazing the half-empty mug as he jumped to his feet. Remus staggered back, too stunned to utter a sound.
Harry saw… How?!
The corner of the divan snagged the helm of his cloak, and the fabric slipped from his head and his shoulder like solid water. Remus groped for it before it fell completely, desperately trying to salvage his position. There was a deafening crunch as his shoe met a brittle styrofoam cup.
"Re… Remus?"
He stilled. The invisibility cloak slid from his loosened fingers, pooling into a shimmering mass on the shabby carpet.
Remus wasn't exactly sure how long they just stood, staring at each other. The silence between them was almost tangible, like the icy fingers of early morning. It sank against them with a heavy hand, muffling all sounds in the room to the barest of sounds.
Sirius was right there, in front of him. His friend of nine years. James and Lily's closest confident, their murderer, their traitor. Remus wanted to curse him with the killing curse right then, but he couldn't even bring himself to raise his wand.
//
So you think it'll work?
Sirius, no! How many times do I have to tell you, don't even think about it! How the hell did you even get James and Peter to agree to this?
Aw, come on, Moony! We're over that stage already! We're suppose to be searching for the spell. Besides, James was easy enough. Peter took a little convincing though…
Do you have any idea how difficult that would be?! And even if you do, by some ridiculous stroke of luck, find the spell, learn to use it, then manage to transform, the risks involved?
You sound like McGonagall…
I'm serious!
Moony, I would laugh right now, but I don't think you'd appreciate it.
Sirius! Urg… god… the… wha… waz… Sirius!
I heard you the first time there. Listen, we're got it all figured out. We're going to try.
No!!
What's the worse thing that could happen?
Do you really want me to say? I could go on and on…
No, Remus. I mean, to you!
… Sirius, if anything happens to you, James, or Peter, I'll… you know the sort of guilt I'll have to deal with? Do you have any idea… you've all been such great friends already, I… Don't. Okay? just listen to me this once. I promise I'll do your potions homework for a week. Just don't!
\\
It was Sirius who first thought of the animagus transformations, Remus mused bitterly. He had been the most loyal friend, a bit rash at times, but the most loyal. How much things have changed then…
Sirius' pale blue eyes, now clouded with hidden demons, watched him with a sort of desperation and anxiety. His lips moved soundlessly every now and then, but could never seem to speak aloud. Remus stood as if he was rooted to the ground, the invisibility cloak lying useless and discarded on the floor.
"Sirius, what…?" Remus broke off abruptly when his voice threatened to fail him. He glanced at Harry, as a statue, face as pale as one as he shrank deep in the sheets. Remus' eyes softened sadly as returned to his friend. "What are you doing?"
"Taking care of my godson," Sirius said firmly, squeezing Harry's hand like lifeline that was going to be torn away without a moment's warning.
His fist clenched compulsively in response, and Remus could feel his hands trembling in restrained anger. "What are you planning to do with him? Let Harry be, Sirius! He's been through enough already."
"That's exactly why I'm getting him out of here!" Sirius snapped, glaring at Remus accusingly. "Did you see how badly he was hurt? He almost died that night! If I hadn't gotten to him, Harry would have bled to death in that cupboard. Don't tell me for all the time you were there, you didn't suspect those… those muggles that they were abusing him!"
Remus stumbled back, a bit caught off guard when the ex-convict turned his anger against him. But it was true, in a way. He should have suspected it long ago…
Remus looked at his hands in defeat. "I suspected it… but I never thought…" he sighed, rubbing the dreaded scar on his elbow out of habit.
He's trying to distract you, he's trying to make you feel guilty so he has the advantage, a voice told him.
But another part of him desperately argued for Sirius. He helped Harry when he didn't have to. He treated him like a son…
"If you really wanted to help Harry, why didn't you take him to us?" Remus asked, an accusing edge to his tone.
Sirius hesitated, chewing his lip. "I… I didn't want to leave him."
Remus drew a sharp breath, "Sirius, this isn't amusing anymore."
"It was never amusing to being with!" Sirius hissed, suddenly angry again. "Do you think I'm playing a game or something? Do you think I'm going to kill Harry off when I get bored, and I'm some insane mass murderer?"
Remus shook his head, unable to bring himself to answer the question. "Sirius, I don't know what you're planning, but just leave Harry out of it! What sort of lies have you been planting in his head? What sort of…"
"Are you implying that I'm teaching him to follow Voldermort?!" Sirius nearly shouted. Harry visibly flinched at the sound, and Sirius lowered his voice immediately. "You think that I'm Death Eater, don't you?"
"And you're trying to deny it?" Remus gritted out. "What you did to James and Lily, what you did to Peter…"
At the mention of Peter's name, Sirius' eyes blazed with a fury more potent than Remus had ever seen before. "That bastard deserves to die! I should have…"
Remus snapped. All the frantic concern for Harry's safety, anger, bitterness, and pain of betrayal came flooding onto him in an overwhelming wave of emotions. He wasn't even sure what he was doing until he had lashed out. And then things happened so quickly that he couldn't even remember.
He wanted to strike Sirius. He wanted to slam his fist against his face for all the agony he had placed everyone through, for James and Lily, for Harry, for countless other people. There was a shuffle and a blur. His fist connected with bony ridges and there was a muffled cry of surprise. Remus found himself standing numbly by the low table, his hand tingling at the contact. Sirius staggered back, hand pressed tightly against his shoulder. His blue eyes were wide as they stared at his friend, shocked, accusing, hurt…?
Abruptly, the anger was replaced by an overwhelming wave of guilt. He didn't know why. He should be angry. He had every right to be angry. But then, why?
"No!"
A slight weight launched itself against Remus so suddenly that he stumbled back. Tripping to the ground, Remus' head missed contact with the coffee table by inches. He registered the mop of unruly hair and bright green eyes dazedly.
"No. No. No. No!" Harry choked out, looking more frightened and angry than Remus could ever remember.
The child blindly pounded his fists against the older man, but his damaged arm was obviously causing him a lot of agony. His eyes were squeezed tightly shut and his face was draining of the little color it had, his breaths coming in short gasps. Harry was too weak to cause him any pain; but to Remus, it was as if someone had raked through his flesh with claws. He stared at the boy numbly, reluctant to act but reluctant not to.
Harry wanted to defend him… didn't want him to hurt Sirius, his parent's murderer! Remus was torn between guilt and rage at the thought.
"Harry, stop," Remus whispered almost pleadingly. Discarding his wand, he caught the child's fists gently but firmly, afraid that Harry could be hurting himself more. The child recoiled so violently that Remus instantly drew back.
"Harry!" Sirius sounded just as stunned as he.
In a moment, the weight was gone. Sirius pried Harry free, lifting him away. He pulled the nearly hysterical child close, running his fingers through his hair soothingly.
"It's okay, it's alright," Sirius repeated in a low whispers in the boy's ear, wrapping his arm around the slight frame protectively. Harry buried his face in Sirius' shirt, trembling.
Remus was too stunned to stand, openly gaping at Harry.
"Why did you do that? What did you think you were doing?" Sirius muttered softly, looking pained.
Harry loved and trusted him…
He wanted to curse Sirius to pieces right then at the extent he corrupted James' son.
"Sirius, what have you done?" Remus whispered weakly.
Harry stiffened at those words, and he turned so suddenly that his face contorted in a grimace of pain. He grasped Sirius' sleeve. "No! He didn't to it! He didn't!"
Remus' stomach clinched at the sight, and he could have landed another punch on the traitor's face if it wasn't for the child between them. "Harry, what has he been telling you?" Remus said, his voice dangerously soft.
"Remus, if you would just listen to me for a moment…"
"What sort of lies have you been telling James' son?!" Remus hissed, trying to pierce Sirius right through with his glare. He reached for his wand blindly, unable to break the gaze. "You've been using his loneness against him, taking advantage of him when all Harry had his entire life was neglect… you…"
"Shut up!!" Sirius shouted, crushing Harry tightly against him. "I haven't been telling him any lies!! Listen to me…"
Sirius broke off abruptly when Remus dragged himself to his feet, holding the wand right between his eyes. His face was ghastly pale, and his arm shook violently. But a determined gleam shone with the fury raging in his eyes.
"Don't!" Harry gasped out, struggling, but Sirius' restraining hand kept him still. With one desperate attempt, the child tore free and lodged himself between the wand tip and his godfather. Remus nearly dropped the slab of wood in shock; even Sirius staggered back.
"No! Stop. That's enough, Harry." Sirius loosened his weak grip with ease, still stunned as he ran his fingers through his untamed hair. Hw rubbed this child's back soothingly, trying not to aggravate the partially healed wounds. "Cast a sleeping charm on him, Remus. He's going to hurt himself if he keeps trying to move like this."
"No!!" Harry trashed feebly in his arms, eyes wide and frantic. He opened his mouth to speak, but his next words dissolved in a fit of coughs. He hid his face against Sirius' shirt, his shoulders wrenching painfully. "It wasn't him…"
*
I'm going to be flamed for this, I can just see them coming. *grins* I'm sorry, but it was irresistible, having Remus punch Sirius which I'm sure he wanted to do after Lily and James' death. And then the story just wrote itself from then on, it actually wasn't planned, but… *sigh*
Remus is really compulsive here again, but I was thinking he's not as optimistic after what happened to Harry at the Dursleys. He's a bit suspicious a lot more now. Well, does that make sense at all? He seems a little high strung here, but hey, it's Lily and James' murderer he thinks he's facing. Not to mention that he's not that stable either, after over a week of trying to track Harry down. He's sort of entitled to a little venting.
Why didn't Sirius just blurt it out? Well… he was never really given a chance, and in Remus' state, the chance of him believing Sirius readily wasn't that great. He needed to cool down a bit.
I just had a really strange thought. An extension of the WS timeline to CD, only with the new, creepily powerful Harry. *sigh* He'd probably leave his parents the moment Sirius came. But then again, he would have damaged Voldermort far more, or maybe avoided death altogether. Humm… Oh, as to how Harry 'saw' Remus in the previous chapter, that'll be explained later. Harry sort of 'sensed' him, not really saw. His very intitive naturally.
Well... I successfully weaned myself off the new story, it was another time travel fic, but they've been done so much its hard to do one that's truly original. Only now there's this new idea in the back of my mind that's inspired by Ari's story with a slightly different twist and different background. (ack! Ari, look what you did! It's torture... post the next chapter soon, by the way! *grins*) But... writing that could compromise PoM and CD... *sigh* well, maybe only CD. It seems that story's getting the short end of every stick.
a/n Story dedicated to Moppet Poppet, Cheating Death's 500th reviewer!
Of Western Stars
By neutral
Chapter twenty-one - of miscommunications
Sirius jerked convulsively, elbow grazing the half-empty mug as he jumped to his feet. Remus staggered back, too stunned to utter a sound.
Harry saw… How?!
The corner of the divan snagged the helm of his cloak, and the fabric slipped from his head and his shoulder like solid water. Remus groped for it before it fell completely, desperately trying to salvage his position. There was a deafening crunch as his shoe met a brittle styrofoam cup.
"Re… Remus?"
He stilled. The invisibility cloak slid from his loosened fingers, pooling into a shimmering mass on the shabby carpet.
Remus wasn't exactly sure how long they just stood, staring at each other. The silence between them was almost tangible, like the icy fingers of early morning. It sank against them with a heavy hand, muffling all sounds in the room to the barest of sounds.
Sirius was right there, in front of him. His friend of nine years. James and Lily's closest confident, their murderer, their traitor. Remus wanted to curse him with the killing curse right then, but he couldn't even bring himself to raise his wand.
//
So you think it'll work?
Sirius, no! How many times do I have to tell you, don't even think about it! How the hell did you even get James and Peter to agree to this?
Aw, come on, Moony! We're over that stage already! We're suppose to be searching for the spell. Besides, James was easy enough. Peter took a little convincing though…
Do you have any idea how difficult that would be?! And even if you do, by some ridiculous stroke of luck, find the spell, learn to use it, then manage to transform, the risks involved?
You sound like McGonagall…
I'm serious!
Moony, I would laugh right now, but I don't think you'd appreciate it.
Sirius! Urg… god… the… wha… waz… Sirius!
I heard you the first time there. Listen, we're got it all figured out. We're going to try.
No!!
What's the worse thing that could happen?
Do you really want me to say? I could go on and on…
No, Remus. I mean, to you!
… Sirius, if anything happens to you, James, or Peter, I'll… you know the sort of guilt I'll have to deal with? Do you have any idea… you've all been such great friends already, I… Don't. Okay? just listen to me this once. I promise I'll do your potions homework for a week. Just don't!
\\
It was Sirius who first thought of the animagus transformations, Remus mused bitterly. He had been the most loyal friend, a bit rash at times, but the most loyal. How much things have changed then…
Sirius' pale blue eyes, now clouded with hidden demons, watched him with a sort of desperation and anxiety. His lips moved soundlessly every now and then, but could never seem to speak aloud. Remus stood as if he was rooted to the ground, the invisibility cloak lying useless and discarded on the floor.
"Sirius, what…?" Remus broke off abruptly when his voice threatened to fail him. He glanced at Harry, as a statue, face as pale as one as he shrank deep in the sheets. Remus' eyes softened sadly as returned to his friend. "What are you doing?"
"Taking care of my godson," Sirius said firmly, squeezing Harry's hand like lifeline that was going to be torn away without a moment's warning.
His fist clenched compulsively in response, and Remus could feel his hands trembling in restrained anger. "What are you planning to do with him? Let Harry be, Sirius! He's been through enough already."
"That's exactly why I'm getting him out of here!" Sirius snapped, glaring at Remus accusingly. "Did you see how badly he was hurt? He almost died that night! If I hadn't gotten to him, Harry would have bled to death in that cupboard. Don't tell me for all the time you were there, you didn't suspect those… those muggles that they were abusing him!"
Remus stumbled back, a bit caught off guard when the ex-convict turned his anger against him. But it was true, in a way. He should have suspected it long ago…
Remus looked at his hands in defeat. "I suspected it… but I never thought…" he sighed, rubbing the dreaded scar on his elbow out of habit.
He's trying to distract you, he's trying to make you feel guilty so he has the advantage, a voice told him.
But another part of him desperately argued for Sirius. He helped Harry when he didn't have to. He treated him like a son…
"If you really wanted to help Harry, why didn't you take him to us?" Remus asked, an accusing edge to his tone.
Sirius hesitated, chewing his lip. "I… I didn't want to leave him."
Remus drew a sharp breath, "Sirius, this isn't amusing anymore."
"It was never amusing to being with!" Sirius hissed, suddenly angry again. "Do you think I'm playing a game or something? Do you think I'm going to kill Harry off when I get bored, and I'm some insane mass murderer?"
Remus shook his head, unable to bring himself to answer the question. "Sirius, I don't know what you're planning, but just leave Harry out of it! What sort of lies have you been planting in his head? What sort of…"
"Are you implying that I'm teaching him to follow Voldermort?!" Sirius nearly shouted. Harry visibly flinched at the sound, and Sirius lowered his voice immediately. "You think that I'm Death Eater, don't you?"
"And you're trying to deny it?" Remus gritted out. "What you did to James and Lily, what you did to Peter…"
At the mention of Peter's name, Sirius' eyes blazed with a fury more potent than Remus had ever seen before. "That bastard deserves to die! I should have…"
Remus snapped. All the frantic concern for Harry's safety, anger, bitterness, and pain of betrayal came flooding onto him in an overwhelming wave of emotions. He wasn't even sure what he was doing until he had lashed out. And then things happened so quickly that he couldn't even remember.
He wanted to strike Sirius. He wanted to slam his fist against his face for all the agony he had placed everyone through, for James and Lily, for Harry, for countless other people. There was a shuffle and a blur. His fist connected with bony ridges and there was a muffled cry of surprise. Remus found himself standing numbly by the low table, his hand tingling at the contact. Sirius staggered back, hand pressed tightly against his shoulder. His blue eyes were wide as they stared at his friend, shocked, accusing, hurt…?
Abruptly, the anger was replaced by an overwhelming wave of guilt. He didn't know why. He should be angry. He had every right to be angry. But then, why?
"No!"
A slight weight launched itself against Remus so suddenly that he stumbled back. Tripping to the ground, Remus' head missed contact with the coffee table by inches. He registered the mop of unruly hair and bright green eyes dazedly.
"No. No. No. No!" Harry choked out, looking more frightened and angry than Remus could ever remember.
The child blindly pounded his fists against the older man, but his damaged arm was obviously causing him a lot of agony. His eyes were squeezed tightly shut and his face was draining of the little color it had, his breaths coming in short gasps. Harry was too weak to cause him any pain; but to Remus, it was as if someone had raked through his flesh with claws. He stared at the boy numbly, reluctant to act but reluctant not to.
Harry wanted to defend him… didn't want him to hurt Sirius, his parent's murderer! Remus was torn between guilt and rage at the thought.
"Harry, stop," Remus whispered almost pleadingly. Discarding his wand, he caught the child's fists gently but firmly, afraid that Harry could be hurting himself more. The child recoiled so violently that Remus instantly drew back.
"Harry!" Sirius sounded just as stunned as he.
In a moment, the weight was gone. Sirius pried Harry free, lifting him away. He pulled the nearly hysterical child close, running his fingers through his hair soothingly.
"It's okay, it's alright," Sirius repeated in a low whispers in the boy's ear, wrapping his arm around the slight frame protectively. Harry buried his face in Sirius' shirt, trembling.
Remus was too stunned to stand, openly gaping at Harry.
"Why did you do that? What did you think you were doing?" Sirius muttered softly, looking pained.
Harry loved and trusted him…
He wanted to curse Sirius to pieces right then at the extent he corrupted James' son.
"Sirius, what have you done?" Remus whispered weakly.
Harry stiffened at those words, and he turned so suddenly that his face contorted in a grimace of pain. He grasped Sirius' sleeve. "No! He didn't to it! He didn't!"
Remus' stomach clinched at the sight, and he could have landed another punch on the traitor's face if it wasn't for the child between them. "Harry, what has he been telling you?" Remus said, his voice dangerously soft.
"Remus, if you would just listen to me for a moment…"
"What sort of lies have you been telling James' son?!" Remus hissed, trying to pierce Sirius right through with his glare. He reached for his wand blindly, unable to break the gaze. "You've been using his loneness against him, taking advantage of him when all Harry had his entire life was neglect… you…"
"Shut up!!" Sirius shouted, crushing Harry tightly against him. "I haven't been telling him any lies!! Listen to me…"
Sirius broke off abruptly when Remus dragged himself to his feet, holding the wand right between his eyes. His face was ghastly pale, and his arm shook violently. But a determined gleam shone with the fury raging in his eyes.
"Don't!" Harry gasped out, struggling, but Sirius' restraining hand kept him still. With one desperate attempt, the child tore free and lodged himself between the wand tip and his godfather. Remus nearly dropped the slab of wood in shock; even Sirius staggered back.
"No! Stop. That's enough, Harry." Sirius loosened his weak grip with ease, still stunned as he ran his fingers through his untamed hair. Hw rubbed this child's back soothingly, trying not to aggravate the partially healed wounds. "Cast a sleeping charm on him, Remus. He's going to hurt himself if he keeps trying to move like this."
"No!!" Harry trashed feebly in his arms, eyes wide and frantic. He opened his mouth to speak, but his next words dissolved in a fit of coughs. He hid his face against Sirius' shirt, his shoulders wrenching painfully. "It wasn't him…"
*
I'm going to be flamed for this, I can just see them coming. *grins* I'm sorry, but it was irresistible, having Remus punch Sirius which I'm sure he wanted to do after Lily and James' death. And then the story just wrote itself from then on, it actually wasn't planned, but… *sigh*
Remus is really compulsive here again, but I was thinking he's not as optimistic after what happened to Harry at the Dursleys. He's a bit suspicious a lot more now. Well, does that make sense at all? He seems a little high strung here, but hey, it's Lily and James' murderer he thinks he's facing. Not to mention that he's not that stable either, after over a week of trying to track Harry down. He's sort of entitled to a little venting.
Why didn't Sirius just blurt it out? Well… he was never really given a chance, and in Remus' state, the chance of him believing Sirius readily wasn't that great. He needed to cool down a bit.
I just had a really strange thought. An extension of the WS timeline to CD, only with the new, creepily powerful Harry. *sigh* He'd probably leave his parents the moment Sirius came. But then again, he would have damaged Voldermort far more, or maybe avoided death altogether. Humm… Oh, as to how Harry 'saw' Remus in the previous chapter, that'll be explained later. Harry sort of 'sensed' him, not really saw. His very intitive naturally.
Well... I successfully weaned myself off the new story, it was another time travel fic, but they've been done so much its hard to do one that's truly original. Only now there's this new idea in the back of my mind that's inspired by Ari's story with a slightly different twist and different background. (ack! Ari, look what you did! It's torture... post the next chapter soon, by the way! *grins*) But... writing that could compromise PoM and CD... *sigh* well, maybe only CD. It seems that story's getting the short end of every stick.