For those of you who have read one of my other stories, Randland, you'll notice some similarities between the scene in Outback and the one in Denny's. But since I'm assuming most of you have not read it, I'm giving myself free rein to steal my own material. So yeah. Go Derikk
The next six hours for the Westerners were filled with Outback Steakhouse.
Cait Sith had begun growling at Spartoi, smelling the Lipper meat on him, and had gotten into several fights with him. Carlua was starting to sniffle again, and Night Gia was gnawing on a scarf he hadn't had at the beginning of the journey. Pazusu decided they would stop at the next place they found for food, since everyone had begun to try to inconspicuously gnaw pieces out of Water Lipper.
"Welcome! Please be seated and wait for us to acknowledge your existence!" said a cheerful, Khakied girl, whose smile was so big it obscured her eyes and made it impossible to see the highly unusual aspects of the group that had just walked in
Outback was bustling with the noise of customers and the noise of the small boys hidden in closets and hired specifically to make noise and create a busy atmosphere. Each of the Westerners took a seat on the 'Plase be seited' benches, slightly on edge from hunger and the large numbers of humans stuffing their porktraps.
Cait Sith began licking the wounds he had received from Spartoi when they were fighting earlier.
"Hungry?" asked an obnoxiously loud voice from the seat next to him. He turned coldly to the fat human with the gaping mouth and missing teeth next to him (think Bloaty's Pizza Hog man, for those of you who watch Invader ZIM)
"Yes," he replied coldly.
"Me TOOOO!" wailed the man happily, extending a pink shiny hand in the general direction of Cait Sith's face. "AHM BERNI!!! HEHE!" he wailed with a congenial chuckle.
"Cait Sith." Again with a cold, withering look.
Berni furrowed his eyebrows concernedly. "YA COLD?" He said, slapping Cait Sith on the thigh for no apparent reason.
Cait Sith hissed and swatted at Berni. Berni laughed and shoved one of his fleshy fists into Cait Sith's mouth.
"Hey Kate Shee," he chuckled, staring at Cait Sith's bulging cheeks. His voice lowered a bit and he said, leaning in, "You got a purty mouth." With this he popped out his fist and leaned back happily.
Cait Sith eyed him sideways. "I do?"
"Yerp"
"Why....thank you! I don't know what to say," He beamed at Berni. "People say I'm a dashing fellow. They also say I have no discernable genitalia, but-"
He was cut off by Berni leaping out of his seat and sloshing away for dear life. Cait Sith sat back and pouted.
Lemunia leaned over toward Carlua. "Hey, Cait Sith said genitalia."
"MASTERRRRRRR!" Carlua wailed.
One of the cooks poked his head out of the kitchen.
"Yes Carlua?" Pazusu asked distractedly.
The cook shrugged and popped back into the kitchen.
"HE'S TOUCHING ME!"
Pazusu peered over. "Yes, he is."
Carlua nodded, then got up and walked to the little girl's room, still dragging Lemunia.
"WELL I'm back KIDDIES!" yelled the khakied woman happily. Cait Sith trembled. "TIME TO PARK YOUR MANLY GLUTES OVER HERE YONDER!" She motioned with a pack of menus for them to follow her, and swayed down the small aisles between the stained linoleum tables, knocking over water glasses with her wandering hips. She stopped beside a table as stained as the rest, and tilted her head slightly in it's direction, then smiled again needlessly and smacked down the menus, dislodging some yellow flakes, which floated to the next table and coated the forks.
"Madame?" Pazusu asked apathetically.
The woman turned from scraping corn lumps from between the seats into an old coffee can, which would be later served to customers, following the policy of any good food organization, squinching her eyes imploringly at him. "Yeahsir?"
Pazusu gestured vaguely at the crell making layers and babies on the seat. "I believe our table needs a bit of cleaning."
One of the woman's cheeks twitched enough for her to momentarily catch sight of the booth in question. "Why you are SO RIGHT sir!" She reached into the back waistband of her khakis and brought out a lollipop with the plastic wrapper melded to it from the heat generated by her ass, shoving it into his face. "Here you gooooo."
"I think you mean go," Lipper said, addressing one of her fingernails.
The woman reached behind her without turning around and snatched a styrofoam beer coaster off a table and shoved it into Lipper's mouth. "Here's a treat for you too, DEAR!"
Pazusu ripped the sucker off the front of his face, for once thankful for the toilet paper which had saved him from his treat. "Madame?"
The woman's attention had wandered, and she was picking her nose idly with a corner of the table. "Huh?"
"Our table?"
"Yes it is!" The woman straightened suddenly, and Pazusu had to sidestep quickly to dodge the treat that came barreling at his head, missing to shatter the window behind them.
"Can we get someone to clean it?"
"You wanna clean the table with a person?"
"I mean can we-"
Spartoi raised his hand.
"WE, meaning ME, can *I* summon a cleaning official in order to, well, CLEAN THE TABLE?"
"Oh don't go to the trouble! I can do that for you!" She missed the level look Pazusu was giving her. She hawked suddenly, snorted something into the back of her throat, and spat noisily and messily on the benches. She stripped off her apron and unzipped her khakis, hopping out of them to plunk her naked ass on the seat and clutch her ankles, spinning herself around until she had scrubbed a spot clean. She then returned her clothing to it's designated place, smiled at Pazusu, then spun on her heel and launched herself into the kitchen before Pazusu could comment.
Pazusu eyed the clean spot, a circle having about a two foot diameter. "Well, I suppose we could share it..." Pazusu looked to the rest of the group. Spartoi had a straw in each hand and the ends rammed up his nose, causing him to go crosseyed. Amy was surreptitiously trying to scratch his ass on the hat of a man sitting behind them, Lipper was choking on the coaster seemingly without realizing it, and Night Gia was lolling his tongue out of his mouth and was trying to see how far back into his head he could roll his eyes. Pazusu slapped himself on the forehead. He looked up suddenly. "Where is Cait Sith?"
Outside in the hedge, Cait Sith lay sprawled on the ground, staring up at the lollipop stick sticking out of the middle of his forehead. "This is really painful.." he said to no one in particular.
Yeah, there's something for those of you who are still reading this. No one seems to be anymore, since I'm getting absolutely NO FEEDBACK! FEEED MEEEEE and I'll feed you back. Remember, as usual, any time someone leaves me a comment I add another chapter. And I'll take any comment you throw at me (any whatsoever) and add it to the story. (yes, aerithhime, I'm still working on the flaming you-know-whats). Cait Sith just had to have his treat first. COME ON! What's next, people? Tell meeeeeee. You scratch my ass, I'll scratch yours. Maybe that's why no one's reading this
The next six hours for the Westerners were filled with Outback Steakhouse.
Cait Sith had begun growling at Spartoi, smelling the Lipper meat on him, and had gotten into several fights with him. Carlua was starting to sniffle again, and Night Gia was gnawing on a scarf he hadn't had at the beginning of the journey. Pazusu decided they would stop at the next place they found for food, since everyone had begun to try to inconspicuously gnaw pieces out of Water Lipper.
"Welcome! Please be seated and wait for us to acknowledge your existence!" said a cheerful, Khakied girl, whose smile was so big it obscured her eyes and made it impossible to see the highly unusual aspects of the group that had just walked in
Outback was bustling with the noise of customers and the noise of the small boys hidden in closets and hired specifically to make noise and create a busy atmosphere. Each of the Westerners took a seat on the 'Plase be seited' benches, slightly on edge from hunger and the large numbers of humans stuffing their porktraps.
Cait Sith began licking the wounds he had received from Spartoi when they were fighting earlier.
"Hungry?" asked an obnoxiously loud voice from the seat next to him. He turned coldly to the fat human with the gaping mouth and missing teeth next to him (think Bloaty's Pizza Hog man, for those of you who watch Invader ZIM)
"Yes," he replied coldly.
"Me TOOOO!" wailed the man happily, extending a pink shiny hand in the general direction of Cait Sith's face. "AHM BERNI!!! HEHE!" he wailed with a congenial chuckle.
"Cait Sith." Again with a cold, withering look.
Berni furrowed his eyebrows concernedly. "YA COLD?" He said, slapping Cait Sith on the thigh for no apparent reason.
Cait Sith hissed and swatted at Berni. Berni laughed and shoved one of his fleshy fists into Cait Sith's mouth.
"Hey Kate Shee," he chuckled, staring at Cait Sith's bulging cheeks. His voice lowered a bit and he said, leaning in, "You got a purty mouth." With this he popped out his fist and leaned back happily.
Cait Sith eyed him sideways. "I do?"
"Yerp"
"Why....thank you! I don't know what to say," He beamed at Berni. "People say I'm a dashing fellow. They also say I have no discernable genitalia, but-"
He was cut off by Berni leaping out of his seat and sloshing away for dear life. Cait Sith sat back and pouted.
Lemunia leaned over toward Carlua. "Hey, Cait Sith said genitalia."
"MASTERRRRRRR!" Carlua wailed.
One of the cooks poked his head out of the kitchen.
"Yes Carlua?" Pazusu asked distractedly.
The cook shrugged and popped back into the kitchen.
"HE'S TOUCHING ME!"
Pazusu peered over. "Yes, he is."
Carlua nodded, then got up and walked to the little girl's room, still dragging Lemunia.
"WELL I'm back KIDDIES!" yelled the khakied woman happily. Cait Sith trembled. "TIME TO PARK YOUR MANLY GLUTES OVER HERE YONDER!" She motioned with a pack of menus for them to follow her, and swayed down the small aisles between the stained linoleum tables, knocking over water glasses with her wandering hips. She stopped beside a table as stained as the rest, and tilted her head slightly in it's direction, then smiled again needlessly and smacked down the menus, dislodging some yellow flakes, which floated to the next table and coated the forks.
"Madame?" Pazusu asked apathetically.
The woman turned from scraping corn lumps from between the seats into an old coffee can, which would be later served to customers, following the policy of any good food organization, squinching her eyes imploringly at him. "Yeahsir?"
Pazusu gestured vaguely at the crell making layers and babies on the seat. "I believe our table needs a bit of cleaning."
One of the woman's cheeks twitched enough for her to momentarily catch sight of the booth in question. "Why you are SO RIGHT sir!" She reached into the back waistband of her khakis and brought out a lollipop with the plastic wrapper melded to it from the heat generated by her ass, shoving it into his face. "Here you gooooo."
"I think you mean go," Lipper said, addressing one of her fingernails.
The woman reached behind her without turning around and snatched a styrofoam beer coaster off a table and shoved it into Lipper's mouth. "Here's a treat for you too, DEAR!"
Pazusu ripped the sucker off the front of his face, for once thankful for the toilet paper which had saved him from his treat. "Madame?"
The woman's attention had wandered, and she was picking her nose idly with a corner of the table. "Huh?"
"Our table?"
"Yes it is!" The woman straightened suddenly, and Pazusu had to sidestep quickly to dodge the treat that came barreling at his head, missing to shatter the window behind them.
"Can we get someone to clean it?"
"You wanna clean the table with a person?"
"I mean can we-"
Spartoi raised his hand.
"WE, meaning ME, can *I* summon a cleaning official in order to, well, CLEAN THE TABLE?"
"Oh don't go to the trouble! I can do that for you!" She missed the level look Pazusu was giving her. She hawked suddenly, snorted something into the back of her throat, and spat noisily and messily on the benches. She stripped off her apron and unzipped her khakis, hopping out of them to plunk her naked ass on the seat and clutch her ankles, spinning herself around until she had scrubbed a spot clean. She then returned her clothing to it's designated place, smiled at Pazusu, then spun on her heel and launched herself into the kitchen before Pazusu could comment.
Pazusu eyed the clean spot, a circle having about a two foot diameter. "Well, I suppose we could share it..." Pazusu looked to the rest of the group. Spartoi had a straw in each hand and the ends rammed up his nose, causing him to go crosseyed. Amy was surreptitiously trying to scratch his ass on the hat of a man sitting behind them, Lipper was choking on the coaster seemingly without realizing it, and Night Gia was lolling his tongue out of his mouth and was trying to see how far back into his head he could roll his eyes. Pazusu slapped himself on the forehead. He looked up suddenly. "Where is Cait Sith?"
Outside in the hedge, Cait Sith lay sprawled on the ground, staring up at the lollipop stick sticking out of the middle of his forehead. "This is really painful.." he said to no one in particular.
Yeah, there's something for those of you who are still reading this. No one seems to be anymore, since I'm getting absolutely NO FEEDBACK! FEEED MEEEEE and I'll feed you back. Remember, as usual, any time someone leaves me a comment I add another chapter. And I'll take any comment you throw at me (any whatsoever) and add it to the story. (yes, aerithhime, I'm still working on the flaming you-know-whats). Cait Sith just had to have his treat first. COME ON! What's next, people? Tell meeeeeee. You scratch my ass, I'll scratch yours. Maybe that's why no one's reading this