His eyes narrowed and he slid down in his seat a little further, to get a better purchase with his toes. "My, you have an awfully big..."
His brows furrowed, and he sat up hurriedly. He stared at Gia questioningly, then ducked his head under the table. Whatever he saw made his lips quiver and tears slowly etch their way down his face. He then clamped his hands over his eyes and went haring off to the little girl's room, accompanied by the high-pitched squeal he was emitting.
Cait Sith's head popped up from under the table, and he crawled up to where Amy had been sitting, rubbing his nose irritably. "He stuck his goddam toes up mah goddam nose. DIIIEEEEEE!" Cait Sith started flailing around randomly.
"Miss, uh Master Pazusu, I think Sith has turret's syndrome. Can I have his breadsticks?"
Pazusu glanced down at the table. "We don't have any breadsticks, Carlua."
"Hmm, that makes me have to pee."
Pazusu grimaced. "What th-? You were just there"
Carlua hung her head. "I missed. I wanna try for two..."
"Two what?"
Carlua shrugged. Spartoi suddenly whipped his head around and jabbed Carlua in the eye with one end of his straws. "There, now we are joined as one."
Lemunia chuckled. "Spartoi's lost his virginity."
"Now that makes me really have to pee" Carlua said, starting to cry.
"Acckk aahh! You're getting water up by dnose" Spartoi choked out, sending phlegm into Carlua's eye.
Pazusu gave up and stuck his oversized fork in the top of his head and then rested it on his arms, determined to die from blood loss before this was all over.
Suddenly a large sounds reverberated around the room, causing the hawing at the other table to increase momentarily as Carlua's head slammed down on the table, caused by a large, pink man smashing her on the back of the head with what seemed to be a large rainbow trout. Spartoi howled as his straw was uncerimoniously ripped out of his nostril. Carlua moaned and slid off her chair into the aisle. A momentary spark of life entered Pazusu's eyes. He silently thanked his savior with a smile. The man smiled back, then began blinking his eyes rapidly as though he had gotten a bit of the fungus that coated the light fixtures in them. Pazusu noticed that he seemed to be wearing false eyelashes.
"Heh heh heh, Master's got a girlfriend."
Pazusu's head whipped toward Cait Sith. "What?"
"Master's got a giiiirrrlllfriend," Cait Sith hissed evilly, then raised his voice and screeched. "MASTER'S GOT A GIRRRRLLL FFFRRRIEND!!"
A cook stuck his head curiously out of the kitchen, then shrugged and ducked back inside.
"What are you talking about?" Pazusu asked apathetically, expecting an answer more suited to a courtesy card in the suggestions box of a mental hospital.
"Oh come now, Master,-"
Lemunia snickered from under Carlua.
"You KNOW he likes you. And besides, it WAS a rainbow trout..."
"Pooo pooooo pooooooooo." Both Pazusu and Cait Sith turned to stare at Spartoi, who had his hand in one of Carlua's bra cups and was using it as a sock puppet at them. "I wike gwapes!"
Amy calmly walked back to the table and sat atop the trout on what was Carlua's seat. "Has the waitress come to take our ORDERS yet?" Amys smiled at them, though now he seemed to have a tic that made his voice raise several decibels at random intervals. His lip began to twitch, which became a spasm, which soon became shudders that wracked his whole body. He suddenly stopped. "I'd like a Meaty Staff please."
Pazusu's eyebrows climbed nearly to his tower of toilet paper perched on his forehead before he realized the waitress had arrived at the table and was taking their order. Inexplicably, Pazusu almost pitied Carlua the waitress standing on her face, then decided she'd be better off without a few more teeth, and turned his attention back to what was happening at the table, only to realize that the waitress had latched on to him and was passionately trying to suck his stomach inside out using her own mouth. He tried to yell in protest, but the result was just sort of a flatulent noise between their cheeks. Spartoi giggled and duplicated the noise without the aide of his mouth.
"Lord, man, you're making me gag," Lipper managed to hiss out, which was in retrospect a bad idea, as it used up the last of her oxygen, causing her to die in a shower of fluffy flesh bits and random balls of burnt hair. The table next to them thought that it was confetti for a birthday party. They insisted it was everyone at their table's birthday too, and demanded a song and confetti too.
Spartoi began laughing maniacally at his bra puppet, and Pazusu blessedly lost consciousness, as the sounds of Pink Floyd echoed around the restaurant.
The waitress pried her flabby lips off the unconscious Pazusu with a loud slurp, the hawked and spat something into the palm of her hand.
"Whata ya doin' foo?" Spartoi's puppet asked in a squeaky voice. The waitress displayed her palm, and the gold fillings lying in the center, still warm after being pried from their little happy holes in Lord Pazusu's teeth.
"Yer friend sounds thirsty," the waitress suggested helpfully, then once again gagged phlegm into the back of her throat, and launched it at Carlua's bra, whereas she stuffed her tip into the right cup of her bra and sauntered off to the kitchen to molest Master, one of the lettuce boys.
"Hey....." Spartoi stared around him sadly. "Everyone's asleep...."
Cait Sith stared at him resentfully from across the table, and went back to munching his fish as Hey You continued to play over the intercom...
"..hey you, out there on your own, sitting naked by the phone, would you touch me?...."
Spartoi cocked his head and began weeping silently at the pure barren truth of it all.
His brows furrowed, and he sat up hurriedly. He stared at Gia questioningly, then ducked his head under the table. Whatever he saw made his lips quiver and tears slowly etch their way down his face. He then clamped his hands over his eyes and went haring off to the little girl's room, accompanied by the high-pitched squeal he was emitting.
Cait Sith's head popped up from under the table, and he crawled up to where Amy had been sitting, rubbing his nose irritably. "He stuck his goddam toes up mah goddam nose. DIIIEEEEEE!" Cait Sith started flailing around randomly.
"Miss, uh Master Pazusu, I think Sith has turret's syndrome. Can I have his breadsticks?"
Pazusu glanced down at the table. "We don't have any breadsticks, Carlua."
"Hmm, that makes me have to pee."
Pazusu grimaced. "What th-? You were just there"
Carlua hung her head. "I missed. I wanna try for two..."
"Two what?"
Carlua shrugged. Spartoi suddenly whipped his head around and jabbed Carlua in the eye with one end of his straws. "There, now we are joined as one."
Lemunia chuckled. "Spartoi's lost his virginity."
"Now that makes me really have to pee" Carlua said, starting to cry.
"Acckk aahh! You're getting water up by dnose" Spartoi choked out, sending phlegm into Carlua's eye.
Pazusu gave up and stuck his oversized fork in the top of his head and then rested it on his arms, determined to die from blood loss before this was all over.
Suddenly a large sounds reverberated around the room, causing the hawing at the other table to increase momentarily as Carlua's head slammed down on the table, caused by a large, pink man smashing her on the back of the head with what seemed to be a large rainbow trout. Spartoi howled as his straw was uncerimoniously ripped out of his nostril. Carlua moaned and slid off her chair into the aisle. A momentary spark of life entered Pazusu's eyes. He silently thanked his savior with a smile. The man smiled back, then began blinking his eyes rapidly as though he had gotten a bit of the fungus that coated the light fixtures in them. Pazusu noticed that he seemed to be wearing false eyelashes.
"Heh heh heh, Master's got a girlfriend."
Pazusu's head whipped toward Cait Sith. "What?"
"Master's got a giiiirrrlllfriend," Cait Sith hissed evilly, then raised his voice and screeched. "MASTER'S GOT A GIRRRRLLL FFFRRRIEND!!"
A cook stuck his head curiously out of the kitchen, then shrugged and ducked back inside.
"What are you talking about?" Pazusu asked apathetically, expecting an answer more suited to a courtesy card in the suggestions box of a mental hospital.
"Oh come now, Master,-"
Lemunia snickered from under Carlua.
"You KNOW he likes you. And besides, it WAS a rainbow trout..."
"Pooo pooooo pooooooooo." Both Pazusu and Cait Sith turned to stare at Spartoi, who had his hand in one of Carlua's bra cups and was using it as a sock puppet at them. "I wike gwapes!"
Amy calmly walked back to the table and sat atop the trout on what was Carlua's seat. "Has the waitress come to take our ORDERS yet?" Amys smiled at them, though now he seemed to have a tic that made his voice raise several decibels at random intervals. His lip began to twitch, which became a spasm, which soon became shudders that wracked his whole body. He suddenly stopped. "I'd like a Meaty Staff please."
Pazusu's eyebrows climbed nearly to his tower of toilet paper perched on his forehead before he realized the waitress had arrived at the table and was taking their order. Inexplicably, Pazusu almost pitied Carlua the waitress standing on her face, then decided she'd be better off without a few more teeth, and turned his attention back to what was happening at the table, only to realize that the waitress had latched on to him and was passionately trying to suck his stomach inside out using her own mouth. He tried to yell in protest, but the result was just sort of a flatulent noise between their cheeks. Spartoi giggled and duplicated the noise without the aide of his mouth.
"Lord, man, you're making me gag," Lipper managed to hiss out, which was in retrospect a bad idea, as it used up the last of her oxygen, causing her to die in a shower of fluffy flesh bits and random balls of burnt hair. The table next to them thought that it was confetti for a birthday party. They insisted it was everyone at their table's birthday too, and demanded a song and confetti too.
Spartoi began laughing maniacally at his bra puppet, and Pazusu blessedly lost consciousness, as the sounds of Pink Floyd echoed around the restaurant.
The waitress pried her flabby lips off the unconscious Pazusu with a loud slurp, the hawked and spat something into the palm of her hand.
"Whata ya doin' foo?" Spartoi's puppet asked in a squeaky voice. The waitress displayed her palm, and the gold fillings lying in the center, still warm after being pried from their little happy holes in Lord Pazusu's teeth.
"Yer friend sounds thirsty," the waitress suggested helpfully, then once again gagged phlegm into the back of her throat, and launched it at Carlua's bra, whereas she stuffed her tip into the right cup of her bra and sauntered off to the kitchen to molest Master, one of the lettuce boys.
"Hey....." Spartoi stared around him sadly. "Everyone's asleep...."
Cait Sith stared at him resentfully from across the table, and went back to munching his fish as Hey You continued to play over the intercom...
"..hey you, out there on your own, sitting naked by the phone, would you touch me?...."
Spartoi cocked his head and began weeping silently at the pure barren truth of it all.