Spartoi was back at the table, staring horrified at Amy's corpse. "Damn you, Miyu. DAMN you! I hope you DIE!" Suddenly, fifteen cells in Spartoi's brain exploded. "MIYU! WE STALL HERE! MASSSTTERRR!!! We must go make her DIE!"
Knight Gia cried because nobody loved him.
Cait Sith raised an eyebrow at him from where he was munching his fish.
Himiko dusted her hands purposefully on her naked thighs, and strolled away from where Kei lay looking very disgruntled and stupid. She gathered her clothes as she left, since they were strewn in a line where she had ripped them off in the middle of chasing Kei. She stepped out onto the old house's porch. Her footsteps made loud echoing taps, as earlier that week Himiko had been testing the durability of her slut boots by jumping on nails, and the heads had become embedded in the soles of her shoes. The points themselves stabbed Himiko at every step, but she had failed thus far to notice.
She began hopping across the wooden boards, giggling like the moron she was. "Tappa tappa tappa....hee hee! I feel like a porn star." She halted. "I mean tap star! Why did I say porn st-"
"MMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIYUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!"
Himiko's eyes lit up. "Mew? A cat! I love pussies."
Five miles away, Spartoi began giggling uncontrollably.
"Here kitty! Here puss puss! Pussy! Here puss! COME HERE PUSSY!" Himiko ceased her caterwauling (huh huh, punny) and stamped her foot irritably, causing herself a jolt of pain, and some confusion as to what that jolt of pain was.
Suddenly a black-robed figure shimmered into view, hovering a few feet above the ground and glaring murderously at Himiko. "What did you call me?"
Himiko got a tear in her one good eye. "Oh m-m-m-my thighs!"
Larva shook his head disgustedly. "I should kill you."
"Kill me with *love*"
Larva frowned at her. "No, not with love. I mean end your life."
"End my life of being alone."
"No!"
"No more nights of basting my own chicken!"
"No! No more- wait, WHAT?!" Larva ground his pointy teeth together in the purest frustration. "That is IT. I am going to rip your intestines out through the back of your nose."
"You want to put your fingers inside me!"
With a final roar, Larva lunged at Himiko, hands clawed.
"Hee hee ah har har har har hrr hrr hrr guuuuhhhhhhhh HA HA HA HA *SNRRT* AHAHAHA HAR HAR HAR AHAW HAW HAW HAW. Huh." Spartoi stopped abruptly, wiping his eyes and sighing. He looked over at Cait Sith, who was eyeing Spartoi as he would a raving mad leper.
"You.......all right?" Cait Sith asked. He moved to hide himself behind his fork. "Something funny?"
"HELLS YEAH!" Spartoi slapped the table jovially, then picked up his fork and calmly began digging bites out of the Formica table.
"Would you mind telling me wh-"
"I DON'T KNOW, OK? I AM NOT........." Spartoi cut off, his gaze moving to stare at something over Cait Sith's left shoulder. Cait Sith twisted to see what it was. Knight Gia had one finger jammed in his eye in order to produce more tears, so people would feel sorry for him.
Judith the obscenely bare woman came flopping over to their table with their food on a large platter and a steaming pitcher of coffee balanced on the tops of her breasts. She smiled at them around a large wad of peppermint gum and transferred the plates to the table. Knight Gia popped his finger out of his eye to poke something on one of the platters. "What's this gray stuff?"
Judith peered over. "Those are the Fluffy Magical Treats."
Knight Gia peered closely, then poked one. It stuck to his damp finger, so he stuck it into his mouth. He then spat emphatically on Cait Sith, who growled. "These are just dust balls! You probably picked them off some eighty year old woman!"
Judith shuddered at that, muttering something involving balls and eighty year old women under her breath, and turned to the rest of the table. She squinched up one eye at Spartoi in what he took to be a sign of sexual attraction. "Howya shuga?"
"Huh?"
"Howya shuga?"
"Huh?"
"Howya shuga?"
"Huh?"
"Howya shuga?"
"Huh?"
Cait Sith grasped his fork with both hands and rammed it into his elbow. (Cool, huh?) He sighed in defeat. He slid below the table and snuck out between the social worker's legs, earning himself many sleepless nights of horror, and tiptoed out of the restaurant, everyone staring at him and wondering why he looked so suspicious. The Meaty Staff crawled off the table and followed him.
Pazusu gasped loudly as yet another jolt of pain assaulted his hand. He rubbed it irritably and glared at Master. "I don't want to play Slapjack with you anymore." He supposed Master thought Pazusu wouldn't notice the large dagger clutched in his left fist. Pazusu pushed himself away from the table and stood. Master stood too. "I really must go. The last time I left them all alone together Carlua was born, and the Gods only know how they managed that." Pazusu extended his hand to Master. "May the burden of your plight lift to give you many large and willing women."
"MASSSTTEERRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!"
Pazusu turned to glare at the door. "I guess I'll have to-OWWWWWW!" Pazusu whirled to see Master hiding his dagger again. "Stop that you FUCKING RETARD!" Pazusu's eyes widened. "Dear Lord....I'm becoming one of them...."
"One of us.......one of us..." The quiet chant filled the room as the social workers rose from their various squatting positions and started to slowly creep towards Pazusu. "One of ussssss...."
Pazusu backed out of the room, keeping his eyes on Master, who had pulled a ladle from somewhere and was caressing it with bad intentions.
"MAAASSSSSSTERRRRRRRRRR!"
"Bater! Master-bater!! Har har har!"
Pazusu glided over to table 24. "Shut up Spartoi. What is it, Carlua?"
"My eye hurts. Kiss it better?"
"No, Carlua."
"Well then make them stop." She pointed over to the table from her place on the floor.
Pazusu looked over to see Knight Gia struggling passionately with the social worker. Or at least that's what it looked like they were doing.
"AUGHHHHHH!!!!!!!"
No one knew who made the cry, but immediately it was taken up by every single person in Outback.
Ahar har har har! I'll post more soon enough. I've started on the road to the corn-clusion, though. At this rate it'll have to be more than one chapter. Oh well. Gimme more suggestions. I've tried to include them all so far. Don't worry, "Behold the Meaty Staff!" will be incorporated soon. And raspberry pudding's been done, but I'll shove some banana pudding in there, too. Fluffy magical treats are there, baby. And magical kiwi Jello? That gives me an idea......oh yeah. That'll bounce in next chapter (where Miyu gets resurrected, by the way) And the flaming tenderloins are coming! They get a special place of honor right in the middle of the final climactic battle (heh heh heh, I said climactic). I think that's it. Well kids, in two weeks I graduate high school, so once again I will write! It turns out the only time I can write is somewhere around two in the morning , hepped up on coffee and that sugar stuff, which is why these update thingies have been few and far between. But after June 1st.....oh how they will come......heh heh heh heh.......
Wait that wasn't funny. Neither is ten dead babies in a trash can but that's never stopped email before
Wait what the hell?
SPOOKY IS SO FUCKING CUTE I LOVE HIM AEEEEEGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!
Go HERE for intense Spooky FUN!
http://www.mailordercentral.com/slgstore/
He's the last item. LOOKIT 'IM!!! LOOOK!! ARRGGG!!!!!!!!!!
(aeg?)
Knight Gia cried because nobody loved him.
Cait Sith raised an eyebrow at him from where he was munching his fish.
Himiko dusted her hands purposefully on her naked thighs, and strolled away from where Kei lay looking very disgruntled and stupid. She gathered her clothes as she left, since they were strewn in a line where she had ripped them off in the middle of chasing Kei. She stepped out onto the old house's porch. Her footsteps made loud echoing taps, as earlier that week Himiko had been testing the durability of her slut boots by jumping on nails, and the heads had become embedded in the soles of her shoes. The points themselves stabbed Himiko at every step, but she had failed thus far to notice.
She began hopping across the wooden boards, giggling like the moron she was. "Tappa tappa tappa....hee hee! I feel like a porn star." She halted. "I mean tap star! Why did I say porn st-"
"MMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIYUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!"
Himiko's eyes lit up. "Mew? A cat! I love pussies."
Five miles away, Spartoi began giggling uncontrollably.
"Here kitty! Here puss puss! Pussy! Here puss! COME HERE PUSSY!" Himiko ceased her caterwauling (huh huh, punny) and stamped her foot irritably, causing herself a jolt of pain, and some confusion as to what that jolt of pain was.
Suddenly a black-robed figure shimmered into view, hovering a few feet above the ground and glaring murderously at Himiko. "What did you call me?"
Himiko got a tear in her one good eye. "Oh m-m-m-my thighs!"
Larva shook his head disgustedly. "I should kill you."
"Kill me with *love*"
Larva frowned at her. "No, not with love. I mean end your life."
"End my life of being alone."
"No!"
"No more nights of basting my own chicken!"
"No! No more- wait, WHAT?!" Larva ground his pointy teeth together in the purest frustration. "That is IT. I am going to rip your intestines out through the back of your nose."
"You want to put your fingers inside me!"
With a final roar, Larva lunged at Himiko, hands clawed.
"Hee hee ah har har har har hrr hrr hrr guuuuhhhhhhhh HA HA HA HA *SNRRT* AHAHAHA HAR HAR HAR AHAW HAW HAW HAW. Huh." Spartoi stopped abruptly, wiping his eyes and sighing. He looked over at Cait Sith, who was eyeing Spartoi as he would a raving mad leper.
"You.......all right?" Cait Sith asked. He moved to hide himself behind his fork. "Something funny?"
"HELLS YEAH!" Spartoi slapped the table jovially, then picked up his fork and calmly began digging bites out of the Formica table.
"Would you mind telling me wh-"
"I DON'T KNOW, OK? I AM NOT........." Spartoi cut off, his gaze moving to stare at something over Cait Sith's left shoulder. Cait Sith twisted to see what it was. Knight Gia had one finger jammed in his eye in order to produce more tears, so people would feel sorry for him.
Judith the obscenely bare woman came flopping over to their table with their food on a large platter and a steaming pitcher of coffee balanced on the tops of her breasts. She smiled at them around a large wad of peppermint gum and transferred the plates to the table. Knight Gia popped his finger out of his eye to poke something on one of the platters. "What's this gray stuff?"
Judith peered over. "Those are the Fluffy Magical Treats."
Knight Gia peered closely, then poked one. It stuck to his damp finger, so he stuck it into his mouth. He then spat emphatically on Cait Sith, who growled. "These are just dust balls! You probably picked them off some eighty year old woman!"
Judith shuddered at that, muttering something involving balls and eighty year old women under her breath, and turned to the rest of the table. She squinched up one eye at Spartoi in what he took to be a sign of sexual attraction. "Howya shuga?"
"Huh?"
"Howya shuga?"
"Huh?"
"Howya shuga?"
"Huh?"
"Howya shuga?"
"Huh?"
Cait Sith grasped his fork with both hands and rammed it into his elbow. (Cool, huh?) He sighed in defeat. He slid below the table and snuck out between the social worker's legs, earning himself many sleepless nights of horror, and tiptoed out of the restaurant, everyone staring at him and wondering why he looked so suspicious. The Meaty Staff crawled off the table and followed him.
Pazusu gasped loudly as yet another jolt of pain assaulted his hand. He rubbed it irritably and glared at Master. "I don't want to play Slapjack with you anymore." He supposed Master thought Pazusu wouldn't notice the large dagger clutched in his left fist. Pazusu pushed himself away from the table and stood. Master stood too. "I really must go. The last time I left them all alone together Carlua was born, and the Gods only know how they managed that." Pazusu extended his hand to Master. "May the burden of your plight lift to give you many large and willing women."
"MASSSTTEERRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!"
Pazusu turned to glare at the door. "I guess I'll have to-OWWWWWW!" Pazusu whirled to see Master hiding his dagger again. "Stop that you FUCKING RETARD!" Pazusu's eyes widened. "Dear Lord....I'm becoming one of them...."
"One of us.......one of us..." The quiet chant filled the room as the social workers rose from their various squatting positions and started to slowly creep towards Pazusu. "One of ussssss...."
Pazusu backed out of the room, keeping his eyes on Master, who had pulled a ladle from somewhere and was caressing it with bad intentions.
"MAAASSSSSSTERRRRRRRRRR!"
"Bater! Master-bater!! Har har har!"
Pazusu glided over to table 24. "Shut up Spartoi. What is it, Carlua?"
"My eye hurts. Kiss it better?"
"No, Carlua."
"Well then make them stop." She pointed over to the table from her place on the floor.
Pazusu looked over to see Knight Gia struggling passionately with the social worker. Or at least that's what it looked like they were doing.
"AUGHHHHHH!!!!!!!"
No one knew who made the cry, but immediately it was taken up by every single person in Outback.
Ahar har har har! I'll post more soon enough. I've started on the road to the corn-clusion, though. At this rate it'll have to be more than one chapter. Oh well. Gimme more suggestions. I've tried to include them all so far. Don't worry, "Behold the Meaty Staff!" will be incorporated soon. And raspberry pudding's been done, but I'll shove some banana pudding in there, too. Fluffy magical treats are there, baby. And magical kiwi Jello? That gives me an idea......oh yeah. That'll bounce in next chapter (where Miyu gets resurrected, by the way) And the flaming tenderloins are coming! They get a special place of honor right in the middle of the final climactic battle (heh heh heh, I said climactic). I think that's it. Well kids, in two weeks I graduate high school, so once again I will write! It turns out the only time I can write is somewhere around two in the morning , hepped up on coffee and that sugar stuff, which is why these update thingies have been few and far between. But after June 1st.....oh how they will come......heh heh heh heh.......
Wait that wasn't funny. Neither is ten dead babies in a trash can but that's never stopped email before
Wait what the hell?
SPOOKY IS SO FUCKING CUTE I LOVE HIM AEEEEEGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!
Go HERE for intense Spooky FUN!
http://www.mailordercentral.com/slgstore/
He's the last item. LOOKIT 'IM!!! LOOOK!! ARRGGG!!!!!!!!!!
(aeg?)