Disclaimer: all characters belong to J K Rowling and Warner brothers.
a/n Story dedicated to Moppet Poppet, Cheating Death's 500th reviewer!
Of Western Stars
By neutral
Chapter thirty-three - of home comings (epilogue part 1)
"Hey, Harry, wake up," Sirius whispered, lightly shaking the small child drowned under hospital sheets. It was still dark in the middle of the night, and he felt slightly guilty for cheating Harry out of a peaceful sleep.
Harry made a small sound of protest in the back of his throat, but obediently opened his eyes. "Padfoot?" he asked groggily.
Sirius grinned with suppressed excitement, throwing off the covers and wrapping a thick cloak around the child. "Come on, get up. We're going home today."
Harry's eyes widened in the dimly lit room, a mix of fear, surprise, and hope drifting across his face. "Home?" he echoed.
The living room of the Black mansion came back into focus with a sudden lurch. It was dustless and immaculate, lit by a single flame floating in the center of the room. Remus had left it for them after taking on the job of readying the house by himself. He was scheduled to portkey to his new home with his luggage the next day.
The thick carpets and mahogany carvings, the tall ceiling charmed with the canopy of a forest path, the grandfather cloak, now quiet from the passing of time, brought a wave of nostalgia that caught Sirius unexpectedly. He stared at the empty divans scattered around the low table, almost expecting James to dart from behind one of them, or Lily to fold her arms disapprovingly but hiding an amused smile all the same.
A light brush on his hand scattered those images.
Sirius shook those memories away, turning his attention back to the slight weight in his arms. Clear green eyes stared back at him searchingly, almost like the lingering presence of his parents. For a moment, he almost lost himself in the past again, as he pulled the child close and rested his chin on Harry's unruly hair. Those memories had passed, the people were gone, there was a more important person to think about now.
"What do you think of your new home?" Sirius asked. Carefully, he placed the child on the ground, keeping a steadying hand on his shoulder when Harry swayed dangerously. The previous injuries were still eating away at him, and he was never really able to shake off the damage the excessive bleeding did to his body.
Harry was silent. For what seemed like hours, he just stared at the ceiling, at the divans, at the rug beneath his feet. He turned back to his godfather, gripping at his sleeve desperately.
"This is home?" Harry's voice was dazed, as if fearing everything was a dream that would dissipate in minutes.
Sirius nodded, kneeling down beside him. "Do you like it?"
Harry was speechless again, swallowing repeatedly. He seemed fearful of even touching anything, standing stationary.
"What is it?" Sirius asked, concerned.
Harry stiffly shook his head.
Sirius inwardly sighed, carefully lifting his godson again as he made his way to the staircase. "Let's go look at your room, okay?"
That was a bit of a trip to scout down Harry's room in a mansion that size, and he had no idea which one Remus chose. But as he passed his stray door on the second story, a shimmering placard caught his eye. Sirius grinned in amusement.
"Remus gave you my old bedroom," Sirius mused, pushing open the heavy mahogany door. He would need to cast a weightless charm on it later, otherwise, Harry would be trapped in his own room.
The bedroom was unchanged since Sirius last remembered it, before he moved out of the house. A king sized four poster, in the center of the room. Red and gold overhangs, that he transfigured after being sorted into Gryffindor. The only difference was the spotless floors, which he would always litter with socks, books, and various items that drove the house elves crazy.
"What do you think?" Sirius asked, probing the child lightly on the arm.
Harry peeked over the fringe of his collar, eyes widening again as he took in the seemingly colossal room.
"This is…?" he swallowed nervously, unable to continue as his eyes traveled through the red and gold tinted expanse.
"Your bedroom," Sirius finished encouragingly. Smiling widely, he set the six year old on the thickly carpeted floor. "Go on," he said, giving Harry a small nudge when he was too stunned to move.
Harry was stiff, looking out of place in his tattered, oversized clothes in a place that was even larger than the Dursley's living room. Haltingly, legs still weak from the numerous escapades, he took several steps towards the wall, examining the velvet overhangs, deep red ceiling, and rich carpet that swallowed half his foot at every step.
This was his room? Harry hardly dared to believe. He never asked for this much. All he wanted was to live with his godfather; he could sleep on the floor and still not complain. But this… Everything seemed so intricate, so delicate, so expensive. He couldn't possibly deserve this. He'd ruin it.
"But…"
"But what?" Sirius asked gently, kneeling beside him and peering into his face with concern.
"But… is it really okay?" Harry worriedly asked. "What if I break something? You'd be angry! I… it can't be mine!"
Sirius' expression fell, his previous happiness shattered. Harry desperately wished he could take those words back, but those fears spilled from him before he could hide them. To be such a burden, Harry wanted to disappear. He shook his head, edging towards the door fearfully.
"Harry, that's not true. I will never be angry with you," Sirius whispered, giving the child's shoulder a small squeeze of assurance.
Harry turned towards Sirius questioningly, silent wondering what he should do. He couldn't possibly be allowed to touch anything, much less sleep on the bed. Sirius only smiled encouragingly at him. Harry chewed his lip nervously.
As if reading his mind, Sirius placed a gentle hand on the child's arm, supporting and reassuring him at the same time. "Harry, you deserved this long ago," Sirius pushed a tendril of hair out of Harry's face, brushing it over the scar on his forehead. Grinning brightly, he half carried half guided Harry to the center of the room. "Look around and tell me what you think."
Impulse led him to dark corners. Harry made his way slowly to the closet. Having spent the majority of his life residing in a cupboard under the stairs, he naturally assumed he'd be sleeping there. The large four poster bed was too grand; it had to be for someone else, not him. Harry would feel uneasy even touching it. He slid open the closest door tentatively.
It was like a small room in Harry's eyes, nearly as large as Dudley's second bedroom. Boxes littered the space in stacks, large paintings leaned against the walls. Robes of all colors hung neatly in a row, next to a pile of forgotten books.
There were no blankets, but the carpet was so thick that it cushioned his feet like a mattress. Harry sank to the floor in exhaustion, sighing softly in relief as the strain left his throbbing and sore limbs. He had been so tired since he awoke in the infirmary with a sore neck and parched throat a week ago. It was as if an incessant weight hung from his body, dragging him down as he walked. He was so tired…
After being torn from his bed at the dead of the night, Harry could feel his eyes sting in weariness. Hugging his knees against his chest with a habit ingrained in him years ago, he curled up in a small lump on the closet floor.
"Harry, what's wrong?" Sirius warm tone drifted sluggishly to his ears, and Harry opened his eyes to see his godfather's worried face staring down at him. Sirius knelt down, placing a hand lightly on the child's forehead. "Are you in pain? Does your leg hurt?"
"No, I… I was going to sleep…" Harry timidly murmured, impulsively grasping the edge of Sirius' sleeve with his hand. It was a reflex that stayed with him, and Harry wanted to reassure himself that his godfather was really there beside him, not dead, gone, or abandoned.
Sirius' brow furrowed slightly in confusion for a moment, but realization crashed like bricks over his face and his expression contorted into a mixture of guilt and anger.
Harry tensed, "Sorry, I…"
"No," Sirius cut in, making an obvious effort to sound reassuring. He gathered the child from the floor in one fluid motion, carefully wrapping an arm around the small boy's shoulders as if holding fragile glass, lightly running his fingers through Harry's untamed hair. "Don't be sorry, you never did anything wrong. Don't ever be sorry, okay?"
Harry was silent, his face buried against Sirius' shoulder, unsure of what to say.
Sirius abruptly grinned, as if trying to lighten the mood. "Don't lie down in the closet, there's nothing in there yet. Here's your bed."
Harry could feel him lightly ruffling his hair before he was placed on something thick and soft. Harry tensed, feeling the thick velvet of the bed sheets beneath his hands. They were like the layers of laundry that Aunt Petunia always asked him to wash. He remembered laying in the warm, crisp clothes after they just came out of the drier during the cold winters; they always got rid of the numbness in his hands and feet. She caught him once, and he never did it again. Harry peeked through the folds of Sirius shirt at the vermilion dyed sheets.
"This…" Harry swallowed, staring at the thick blankets with wide eyes.
"The closet has all my old things, and I doubt you really want them," Sirius continued, smiling reassuringly at Harry. He pulled back the bed sheets, smelling lightly of soap and rain, and carefully wrapped the child in its folds. "In a few days, Moony and I are going to buy you some clothes. Do you want anything? Books? Toys? What do you like?"
Harry let his head drop, gaze downcast, his throat suddenly constricted. Sirius was always doing something for him, helping him sometimes in ways that exacted a toll on himself. He always did everything within his power to make him happy, but that left a biting sense of guilt on the child. Harry desperately wished he would ask for something in return just so he could repay the lifetime worth of dues he owned his godfather.
There was a rustle of fabric as Sirius sat beside him, and Harry could sense him frowning worriedly. Compulsively, Harry stumbled forward and hid his face against Sirius' shoulder, arms tightly latching into his neck. It was an abrupt action that surprised them both, but Sirius smiled and soothingly rubbed the child's back.
"What is it, Harry?" Sirius softly asked, resting his cheek against the child's unruly hair. "You're so quiet today."
Harry tightened his clasp around his godfather's neck, burying his face against the soft fabric of Sirius' infirmary shirt. "Thank you," he whispered.
Remus had to smile as he cracked open the door to Harry's bedroom. Harry's small form was a small lump under the blankets, curled in a snug ball with the covers spread lightly over his shoulders. He was lying haphazardly, using his pillow as a bed with his head on his godfather's shoulder. Sirius' hand was on the child's back in a gesture that seemed to be reassuring to them both, propped up against the headboard in awkwardly. His posture was obviously uncomfortable; he seemed to have fallen asleep without actually meaning to, sitting over the covers with only the wall keeping him from toppling over.
Remus shook his head with a sigh, but smiling nonetheless. Soundlessly, he dropped his luggage at the door and made his way into the room. He tapped Sirius lightly on the arm -- he was going to wake up with a major backache if he kept it up any longer -- and then shook his shoulder when he still didn't stir. Sirius was usually a very light sleeper, but that afternoon, he stubbornly refused to wake. He only batted away Remus hand and turned away, sinking deeper into slumber.
Only to almost slip off the bed in his awkward position. Sirius blinked awake with an abrupt jerk, groggy and sluggish.
"Wha… Remus?" Sirius mumbled, lifting an arm to rub his eyes and grimacing when his back cracked audibly.
"Softly, Sirius. Harry's sleeping," Remus whispered, gesturing him to be silent.
Sirius nodded groggily, and Remus wondered if any of his words made it to his brain. His friend straightened slowly, careful of the slight weight against his shoulder, and winced as a distinct crack echoed through the room.
"Ow," Sirius made a face, rubbing at his neck gingerly.
"You've been sleeping against wood all night," Remus whispered, picking up a small cushion from the chair and placing it behind Sirius' head. "You should put on son ointment if it feels really sore. Careful, Padfoot, you're becoming an old man." Remus grinned, unable to resist teasing him. His mischievous humor was returning around his friend, and combined with the occasion, it was too tempting.
"Wazzat? Oh… shut up…" Sirius slurred out. "You're the one whose graying."
"But the lower back pain doesn't reflect well on your age either, Padfoot," Remus retorted without missing a beat, seemingly unfazed by Sirius' observation.
It was amazing what a week could do to patch up old grievances. Through the misunderstanding of five years and the bitter first meeting that followed, all of that seemed almost insignificant after Remus' visits to the hospital wing. After the brief glimpse of how short and unpredictable life could be made the both desperate to rebuild his friendship with either misunderstood friends. Their friendship wasn't the same as it was years before, but considering the extent they both matured, returning to their Hogwarts days was impossible.
Of course, right then, they were being anything but mature.
Sirius shot him a glare, looking as if he wanted to sit up but thinking better of it last minute. Harry was still sleeping obliviously, head pillowed on his stomach. Sirius glanced around as if looking for something to throw at the slowly retreating friend. Thing only thing within flinging range was Harry's glasses, but he wasn't about to throw that at Remus. He settled on boring holes into Remus' head with his eyes.
"I'm going to get you back for that," Sirius grumbled, keeping his voice low. "Be happy that Harry's asleep, or I'd be exacting revenge." The smile that quirked at his lips destroyed the effect of his words.
"You shouldn't threaten someone who has considerately brought you food," Remus said with a rather pointed stare. "I sort of assumed you wouldn't be able to cook anything edible so I brought some breakfast."
"You should have more faith in me! I took perfect care of Harry for a week," Sirius muttered, rubbing his neck where it laid over a lump. He was stiff after sleeping in an uncomfortably inclined position for several hours, and there was a crick in his neck that was a unpleasant reminder.
Remus sighed. "Do you want to know how much money you spent on room service?"
Sirius' expression melted into a slightly sheepish look, "Oh, that…"
Remus grinned when Sirius made a face, feeling exultant but rather immature at the same time. He drew up a nearby chair, bending over the edge of the bed to peer at Harry; he looked snugly comfortable despite his awkward positioning on the bed.
If Harry was awake, he'd be hiding behind Sirius in embarrassment, Remus thought with a small smile.
"He looks younger," Remus whispered, tentatively brushing some strands of hair from the child's face. "I know it makes no sense, but… he does."
Sirius' face softened at that. He ran his fingers through the unruly hair fondly, watching the child.
"I know what you mean," he said after a moment of silence. "Sometimes, it's hard to imagine he's just a six year old boy, other times, it's hard to believe he's already six years old. He's been through so much, but he always manages to pull through. It's about time Harry can act his age."
He broke off abruptly when Harry stirred, shifting slightly and slowly blinking awake. He took in his surroundings past half laden eyes, still bleary. He lifted his head, nursing a numb ear where it was squashed against Sirius' rib, hair rumpled in a flyaway angle.
Sirius didn't wait for him to readjust; he ruffled the child's hair even more, smiling. "Hey, Harry, look whose here."
Harry rubbed his eyes with his oversized sleeve, an action so childishly innocent that it made them both smile. His hand paused on an eye when he took in the blurry image of Remus, and suddenly meek and timid, slowly began edging behind his godfather.
"Hello," Harry said very softly.
Sirius smiled in amusement, "Harry, it's just Moony. You shouldn't be shy around him."
Harry peeked over Sirius' arm at Remus nervously, and Sirius shook his head with a resigned sigh.
Remus felt a flicker of regret as he watched him. The child was so deeply scarred after his years of abuse, he lost all faith in people. But Harry's attachment to Sirius ran deep; he was the only person Harry turned to. Remus often wondered what those first few days were like for them both, with Harry cringing and shuddering at every word and gesture, and Sirius mentally and physically shaken after five years of Azkaban looming over him. But Sirius must represent something remarkable to the child, after he had broken into the Dursleys at extreme risk to rescue him.
Harry rarely spoke to anyone else other than Sirius. It wasn't that Harry didn't trust him, or Dumbledore, or Madam Pomfrey; he was just shy, and painfully so. Apart of it probably came from the shock of Pettigrew's threats, Remus mused bitterly. Harry's outburst in the hotel a week ago was forced from him due to the situation, and after that, barely said more than twenty words to Dumbledore. He hid behind his godfather every time Madam Pomfrey glanced his way, and Sirius had taken to fending off the nurse to spare him. Harry wasn't as timid around Remus, but he glanced at Sirius nervously whenever he spoke. Remus supposed that Harry's faith was hard to gain, and he had yet to earn it.
Remus leaned against the edge of the bed, giving Harry a warm smile of comfort. "How do you like your new home?"
Harry bit his lip, eyes traveling over his room almost nervously. He was still, as if fearing the entire thing was a distant dream, but at his godfather's inquiring gaze, lowered his head. Sirius and Remus exchanged knowing glances; Harry was so repressed that any word of assent or happiness was magnified several times over.
"It's… nice," Harry said after a pause, a small and timid smile hidden against his godfather's shirt.
Remus grinned, leaning on his elbows to give the child a small pat on the head. "You know, Harry, you spoke more to me when I was posing as Mrs. Figg's nephew."
Harry flushed, small tinges of pink staining his unnaturally pale face as he shrank behind Sirius again. "Sorry…"
"Remus, you're embarrassing him," Sirius drew the child in a loose, one-armed hug, a defensive reflex that seemed to be ingrained in his actions.
Remus sighed, knowing better than to chide but still couldn't hide a rather exasperated glance Sirius' way. The godfather was so protective of the six year old that Remus was beginning to wonder if Harry will be sheltered for the rest of his life. The abused child needed that sanctuary, but at the extent Sirius defended him, he'd ever be able to understand the rest of the world.
Sirius stubbornly stared back, as if reading his mind. He finally settled on ruffling Remus' hair for revenge, rumpling his light brown strands so it stood as wildly as Harry's did.
"Hey!" Remus batted off Sirius' hand indignantly, making a face. He tugged at his disheveled hair, glaring at his friend. "That was uncalled for!"
"Yeah, well, that was revenge for calling me an 'old man,'" Sirius grumbled with a rather smug grin.
Remus glowered, but swallowed his next retort when he noticed Harry watching them both in puzzlement. His emerald eyes were wide, and they darted between Sirius and Remus uneasily, unsure whether his two guardians were truly angry or not.
"Old man…?" Harry echoed curiously, looking up inquiringly at his godfather.
Remus choked back a spurt of laughter, coughing discreetly into his hand. He had to duck his head to hide a smile when Sirius turned a heated stare his way.
"Yeah, that's what Padfoot is." Remus grinned mischievously when Sirius' jaw dropped.
"He… he is?" Harry asked, bewildered. The child seemed to be actually considering Remus' words.
Sirius inwardly groaned, but he forced his expression into one of a rather strained calm. He covered the six the old's ears as if trying to hide him from those statements. Harry was still innocently oblivious, completely perplexed by the odd exchange.
"No, Harry, Remus is in denial that he's an old man and is trying to shove the blame on other people," Sirius muttered, his glare promising Remus many threats of retribution in the near future.
Harry blinked. "He is? But aren't you both the same age? Does that mean you're both old men?"
*
A really strange note to end on, isn't it?
This epilogue just gave me so much trouble, I have no idea why. It was mostly because of the last scene though, something about it just feels… off. Maybe it's just because it feels more lighthearted than the rest, but it was just… weird. Remus seems too... happy, although he does have a reason to be. He just doesn't seem Remus like, but then... well, he is a lot younger. *sigh* donnuo, tell me what you think!
Lily of the Valley - humm... I should have kept the Land of the Dead scene then? I was sort of afraid it was too much like CD, and that scene takes a lot out of the sequel, but humm... *cackle* we're all so mean to James, or we like to be mean to James. What is Twisted Reality about? DROP CLUES! I'm dying here! We have to keep you from reading new fics so that your muse will be on a constant one story mode! Concentrate on CoS? Does that mean I'm allowed to put PoM on hiatus? *large grin*
Kaylin - you visited the Oregon coast? How was it? Was the beaches there rocky or sandy? I hope you liked the drafts, however fragmented they were!
Lavender Brown - humm... yeah, I see what you mean. Harry has been abused though, and children who grow up in these type of families are documented to have delayed development. ack, that makes Harry sound like he has damaged intelligence. Well, he's really shy...
Bookworm12357 - *grins* glad you liked the joke! *cackle*
... - thank you so much!
Sakrchan - the drafts did get progressive sadder... ack! I donnuo! I have no clue why my stories are all so depressing! I don't even watch soap operas, just X-Files! Ack! *bangs head against table* I'm sorry, did they really make you cry? *buys lots of tissues*
The Unicorn Whisperer - yay! Thank you! Everyone seemed to like the James section! Waah... maybe I should have stuck to it. *sigh* I hope you like this epilogue!
Rainbow - *nods* yeah, the one with Remus hitting Harry was overboard. *sigh* I donnuo what I was thinking! James always seems to get the blunt in these stories *sigh* CoS and CD. WS isn't too bad, compared to PoM. You know, I have 15 chapters of that written, but I have 22 chapters of drafts. That story is such a pain!! Actually, not writing drafts is a good thing! It means your stories flow for you in your mind, and when it comes out on paper, it writes smoothly. So it's good that you don't need drafts for Out of the Night! Harp is a really uncommon instrument, but that's because the stinkin' thing is so annoyingly hard to transport! *sigh* Ack, Harry has brown hair in the fanart, but that's because I didn't want him to blend into Padfoot. It looks weird, doesn't it?
Kaydee - ack!! The review died? Nooo! I can't read it then! *cries* will have to work off from summary, and then take the chance to reply to your CD review since I didn't get a chance. humm... The shopping scene was difficult though, since Harry techniquely wasn't suppose to be outside. But then again, that's the stupid biology book speaking. Shampoos to mask the smell of your dog... have you tried herbal essesnce? that stuff is so strong, it will mask anything. humm... onto your CD review. It's sort of debateable why Sirius escaped Azkaban, and I think it's because of Peter and Harry. Also since Sirius and Harry godfather godson stories are sort... what's a good word for it? And I love to think that Sirius escaped Azkaban for Harry, but then why did he escape only after seeing Peter's picture? He should have escaped earlier! *hits Sirius with a stick* Well, sort of, but I sort of used it as Sirius escaping for revenge because it adds to Sirius torture. It makes Sirius guilty for not thinking of Harry when he needed him. *hides* humm... as to how Harry will kill Sirius with his wand, umm... I donnuo! It just said in the book that Harry wanted to kill Sirius, I guess he could suffocate him or... I donnuo... Maybe he could try a severing charm right at his heart? humm... it would have been interesting if Harry actually did cast some sort of spell on Sirius, but that'll be evil. And then there's Lily, ack! *hides* everyone says she has red hair, so I sort of assumed. Plus, I wrote them back in May so... *hides* ack! getting grounded for dripping water over the floor... that'll be sad! I did get grounded for burning food once, humm... When does school start in Canada?
Lizard - really? chapter nine was frightening? ack! Vernon is really evil, isn't he? He should have been tortured in this story, but he got away with everything. *sigh* the 'the end' joke was fun! Although, I shouldn't admit to that... *hides* Luigi's? eh? is that an anime character?
CatsPaw - ack, really? Wow... that's a wonderful compliment, but I feel so evil at the same time. I'm so sorry for making you cry *buys tons off tissues* thank you for reading it!
Centra-gal86 - thank you! I do have a lot of other fics though
jeffo - thank you! I'll check out yours!
Sara Minks - thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it!
czelsee - I can't help it! Ack is... *sigh* maybe I should change my pen name to duck...
Blizzard - thank you! Sirius and Harry were always my favorite characters, Sirius is so under represented by JKR *cries* I hope you like the epilogue!
Allocin - you're back! *cheers* you collapsed at chapter 31? really? Wow, thank you! I hope you like the sequel!
sven - thank you so much! That's a great compliment!
Jade S - Harry was scary, wasn't he? He's like one of those creepy little kids that know everything, but look incredibly cute at the same time. Sirius and Remus are both such fascinating characters! It's great that this story made you like them even more! JKR needs more Sirius and Remus...
psycho_setsuna - thank you! if you would like to see some more art, there's a little animated button that my cousin made for me. the pictures are by me, but she did all the computer work. it's on the cos page. i hope you liked this chapter!
Moonywolf - I'd glad this AU made sense! Thank you so much for reading.
LightFaerie - that's alright, it's great that you took your time out to review this. Thank you!
august wynd - well, WS has a sequel, so it didn't exactly end just yet!
Firestone - it does have a sequel! It's titled under Clawtracks of a Star, but it's very different from WS. I hope you like that too though!
Essence of Magic - (reply to GI) thanks for your offer of critiquing! I don't have a beta reader right now (although looking at all my errors, I probably should). I'm sort of reluctant to get one because I have such erratic writing habits and bizarre mood swings, I'll probably drive you crazy. humm... lately I am having a lot of trouble with PoM, so if you're okay with really bad writing habits and hair tearing complaints and countless head banging, then... yeah. thank you so much for offering!
a/n Story dedicated to Moppet Poppet, Cheating Death's 500th reviewer!
Of Western Stars
By neutral
Chapter thirty-three - of home comings (epilogue part 1)
"Hey, Harry, wake up," Sirius whispered, lightly shaking the small child drowned under hospital sheets. It was still dark in the middle of the night, and he felt slightly guilty for cheating Harry out of a peaceful sleep.
Harry made a small sound of protest in the back of his throat, but obediently opened his eyes. "Padfoot?" he asked groggily.
Sirius grinned with suppressed excitement, throwing off the covers and wrapping a thick cloak around the child. "Come on, get up. We're going home today."
Harry's eyes widened in the dimly lit room, a mix of fear, surprise, and hope drifting across his face. "Home?" he echoed.
The living room of the Black mansion came back into focus with a sudden lurch. It was dustless and immaculate, lit by a single flame floating in the center of the room. Remus had left it for them after taking on the job of readying the house by himself. He was scheduled to portkey to his new home with his luggage the next day.
The thick carpets and mahogany carvings, the tall ceiling charmed with the canopy of a forest path, the grandfather cloak, now quiet from the passing of time, brought a wave of nostalgia that caught Sirius unexpectedly. He stared at the empty divans scattered around the low table, almost expecting James to dart from behind one of them, or Lily to fold her arms disapprovingly but hiding an amused smile all the same.
A light brush on his hand scattered those images.
Sirius shook those memories away, turning his attention back to the slight weight in his arms. Clear green eyes stared back at him searchingly, almost like the lingering presence of his parents. For a moment, he almost lost himself in the past again, as he pulled the child close and rested his chin on Harry's unruly hair. Those memories had passed, the people were gone, there was a more important person to think about now.
"What do you think of your new home?" Sirius asked. Carefully, he placed the child on the ground, keeping a steadying hand on his shoulder when Harry swayed dangerously. The previous injuries were still eating away at him, and he was never really able to shake off the damage the excessive bleeding did to his body.
Harry was silent. For what seemed like hours, he just stared at the ceiling, at the divans, at the rug beneath his feet. He turned back to his godfather, gripping at his sleeve desperately.
"This is home?" Harry's voice was dazed, as if fearing everything was a dream that would dissipate in minutes.
Sirius nodded, kneeling down beside him. "Do you like it?"
Harry was speechless again, swallowing repeatedly. He seemed fearful of even touching anything, standing stationary.
"What is it?" Sirius asked, concerned.
Harry stiffly shook his head.
Sirius inwardly sighed, carefully lifting his godson again as he made his way to the staircase. "Let's go look at your room, okay?"
That was a bit of a trip to scout down Harry's room in a mansion that size, and he had no idea which one Remus chose. But as he passed his stray door on the second story, a shimmering placard caught his eye. Sirius grinned in amusement.
"Remus gave you my old bedroom," Sirius mused, pushing open the heavy mahogany door. He would need to cast a weightless charm on it later, otherwise, Harry would be trapped in his own room.
The bedroom was unchanged since Sirius last remembered it, before he moved out of the house. A king sized four poster, in the center of the room. Red and gold overhangs, that he transfigured after being sorted into Gryffindor. The only difference was the spotless floors, which he would always litter with socks, books, and various items that drove the house elves crazy.
"What do you think?" Sirius asked, probing the child lightly on the arm.
Harry peeked over the fringe of his collar, eyes widening again as he took in the seemingly colossal room.
"This is…?" he swallowed nervously, unable to continue as his eyes traveled through the red and gold tinted expanse.
"Your bedroom," Sirius finished encouragingly. Smiling widely, he set the six year old on the thickly carpeted floor. "Go on," he said, giving Harry a small nudge when he was too stunned to move.
Harry was stiff, looking out of place in his tattered, oversized clothes in a place that was even larger than the Dursley's living room. Haltingly, legs still weak from the numerous escapades, he took several steps towards the wall, examining the velvet overhangs, deep red ceiling, and rich carpet that swallowed half his foot at every step.
This was his room? Harry hardly dared to believe. He never asked for this much. All he wanted was to live with his godfather; he could sleep on the floor and still not complain. But this… Everything seemed so intricate, so delicate, so expensive. He couldn't possibly deserve this. He'd ruin it.
"But…"
"But what?" Sirius asked gently, kneeling beside him and peering into his face with concern.
"But… is it really okay?" Harry worriedly asked. "What if I break something? You'd be angry! I… it can't be mine!"
Sirius' expression fell, his previous happiness shattered. Harry desperately wished he could take those words back, but those fears spilled from him before he could hide them. To be such a burden, Harry wanted to disappear. He shook his head, edging towards the door fearfully.
"Harry, that's not true. I will never be angry with you," Sirius whispered, giving the child's shoulder a small squeeze of assurance.
Harry turned towards Sirius questioningly, silent wondering what he should do. He couldn't possibly be allowed to touch anything, much less sleep on the bed. Sirius only smiled encouragingly at him. Harry chewed his lip nervously.
As if reading his mind, Sirius placed a gentle hand on the child's arm, supporting and reassuring him at the same time. "Harry, you deserved this long ago," Sirius pushed a tendril of hair out of Harry's face, brushing it over the scar on his forehead. Grinning brightly, he half carried half guided Harry to the center of the room. "Look around and tell me what you think."
Impulse led him to dark corners. Harry made his way slowly to the closet. Having spent the majority of his life residing in a cupboard under the stairs, he naturally assumed he'd be sleeping there. The large four poster bed was too grand; it had to be for someone else, not him. Harry would feel uneasy even touching it. He slid open the closest door tentatively.
It was like a small room in Harry's eyes, nearly as large as Dudley's second bedroom. Boxes littered the space in stacks, large paintings leaned against the walls. Robes of all colors hung neatly in a row, next to a pile of forgotten books.
There were no blankets, but the carpet was so thick that it cushioned his feet like a mattress. Harry sank to the floor in exhaustion, sighing softly in relief as the strain left his throbbing and sore limbs. He had been so tired since he awoke in the infirmary with a sore neck and parched throat a week ago. It was as if an incessant weight hung from his body, dragging him down as he walked. He was so tired…
After being torn from his bed at the dead of the night, Harry could feel his eyes sting in weariness. Hugging his knees against his chest with a habit ingrained in him years ago, he curled up in a small lump on the closet floor.
"Harry, what's wrong?" Sirius warm tone drifted sluggishly to his ears, and Harry opened his eyes to see his godfather's worried face staring down at him. Sirius knelt down, placing a hand lightly on the child's forehead. "Are you in pain? Does your leg hurt?"
"No, I… I was going to sleep…" Harry timidly murmured, impulsively grasping the edge of Sirius' sleeve with his hand. It was a reflex that stayed with him, and Harry wanted to reassure himself that his godfather was really there beside him, not dead, gone, or abandoned.
Sirius' brow furrowed slightly in confusion for a moment, but realization crashed like bricks over his face and his expression contorted into a mixture of guilt and anger.
Harry tensed, "Sorry, I…"
"No," Sirius cut in, making an obvious effort to sound reassuring. He gathered the child from the floor in one fluid motion, carefully wrapping an arm around the small boy's shoulders as if holding fragile glass, lightly running his fingers through Harry's untamed hair. "Don't be sorry, you never did anything wrong. Don't ever be sorry, okay?"
Harry was silent, his face buried against Sirius' shoulder, unsure of what to say.
Sirius abruptly grinned, as if trying to lighten the mood. "Don't lie down in the closet, there's nothing in there yet. Here's your bed."
Harry could feel him lightly ruffling his hair before he was placed on something thick and soft. Harry tensed, feeling the thick velvet of the bed sheets beneath his hands. They were like the layers of laundry that Aunt Petunia always asked him to wash. He remembered laying in the warm, crisp clothes after they just came out of the drier during the cold winters; they always got rid of the numbness in his hands and feet. She caught him once, and he never did it again. Harry peeked through the folds of Sirius shirt at the vermilion dyed sheets.
"This…" Harry swallowed, staring at the thick blankets with wide eyes.
"The closet has all my old things, and I doubt you really want them," Sirius continued, smiling reassuringly at Harry. He pulled back the bed sheets, smelling lightly of soap and rain, and carefully wrapped the child in its folds. "In a few days, Moony and I are going to buy you some clothes. Do you want anything? Books? Toys? What do you like?"
Harry let his head drop, gaze downcast, his throat suddenly constricted. Sirius was always doing something for him, helping him sometimes in ways that exacted a toll on himself. He always did everything within his power to make him happy, but that left a biting sense of guilt on the child. Harry desperately wished he would ask for something in return just so he could repay the lifetime worth of dues he owned his godfather.
There was a rustle of fabric as Sirius sat beside him, and Harry could sense him frowning worriedly. Compulsively, Harry stumbled forward and hid his face against Sirius' shoulder, arms tightly latching into his neck. It was an abrupt action that surprised them both, but Sirius smiled and soothingly rubbed the child's back.
"What is it, Harry?" Sirius softly asked, resting his cheek against the child's unruly hair. "You're so quiet today."
Harry tightened his clasp around his godfather's neck, burying his face against the soft fabric of Sirius' infirmary shirt. "Thank you," he whispered.
Remus had to smile as he cracked open the door to Harry's bedroom. Harry's small form was a small lump under the blankets, curled in a snug ball with the covers spread lightly over his shoulders. He was lying haphazardly, using his pillow as a bed with his head on his godfather's shoulder. Sirius' hand was on the child's back in a gesture that seemed to be reassuring to them both, propped up against the headboard in awkwardly. His posture was obviously uncomfortable; he seemed to have fallen asleep without actually meaning to, sitting over the covers with only the wall keeping him from toppling over.
Remus shook his head with a sigh, but smiling nonetheless. Soundlessly, he dropped his luggage at the door and made his way into the room. He tapped Sirius lightly on the arm -- he was going to wake up with a major backache if he kept it up any longer -- and then shook his shoulder when he still didn't stir. Sirius was usually a very light sleeper, but that afternoon, he stubbornly refused to wake. He only batted away Remus hand and turned away, sinking deeper into slumber.
Only to almost slip off the bed in his awkward position. Sirius blinked awake with an abrupt jerk, groggy and sluggish.
"Wha… Remus?" Sirius mumbled, lifting an arm to rub his eyes and grimacing when his back cracked audibly.
"Softly, Sirius. Harry's sleeping," Remus whispered, gesturing him to be silent.
Sirius nodded groggily, and Remus wondered if any of his words made it to his brain. His friend straightened slowly, careful of the slight weight against his shoulder, and winced as a distinct crack echoed through the room.
"Ow," Sirius made a face, rubbing at his neck gingerly.
"You've been sleeping against wood all night," Remus whispered, picking up a small cushion from the chair and placing it behind Sirius' head. "You should put on son ointment if it feels really sore. Careful, Padfoot, you're becoming an old man." Remus grinned, unable to resist teasing him. His mischievous humor was returning around his friend, and combined with the occasion, it was too tempting.
"Wazzat? Oh… shut up…" Sirius slurred out. "You're the one whose graying."
"But the lower back pain doesn't reflect well on your age either, Padfoot," Remus retorted without missing a beat, seemingly unfazed by Sirius' observation.
It was amazing what a week could do to patch up old grievances. Through the misunderstanding of five years and the bitter first meeting that followed, all of that seemed almost insignificant after Remus' visits to the hospital wing. After the brief glimpse of how short and unpredictable life could be made the both desperate to rebuild his friendship with either misunderstood friends. Their friendship wasn't the same as it was years before, but considering the extent they both matured, returning to their Hogwarts days was impossible.
Of course, right then, they were being anything but mature.
Sirius shot him a glare, looking as if he wanted to sit up but thinking better of it last minute. Harry was still sleeping obliviously, head pillowed on his stomach. Sirius glanced around as if looking for something to throw at the slowly retreating friend. Thing only thing within flinging range was Harry's glasses, but he wasn't about to throw that at Remus. He settled on boring holes into Remus' head with his eyes.
"I'm going to get you back for that," Sirius grumbled, keeping his voice low. "Be happy that Harry's asleep, or I'd be exacting revenge." The smile that quirked at his lips destroyed the effect of his words.
"You shouldn't threaten someone who has considerately brought you food," Remus said with a rather pointed stare. "I sort of assumed you wouldn't be able to cook anything edible so I brought some breakfast."
"You should have more faith in me! I took perfect care of Harry for a week," Sirius muttered, rubbing his neck where it laid over a lump. He was stiff after sleeping in an uncomfortably inclined position for several hours, and there was a crick in his neck that was a unpleasant reminder.
Remus sighed. "Do you want to know how much money you spent on room service?"
Sirius' expression melted into a slightly sheepish look, "Oh, that…"
Remus grinned when Sirius made a face, feeling exultant but rather immature at the same time. He drew up a nearby chair, bending over the edge of the bed to peer at Harry; he looked snugly comfortable despite his awkward positioning on the bed.
If Harry was awake, he'd be hiding behind Sirius in embarrassment, Remus thought with a small smile.
"He looks younger," Remus whispered, tentatively brushing some strands of hair from the child's face. "I know it makes no sense, but… he does."
Sirius' face softened at that. He ran his fingers through the unruly hair fondly, watching the child.
"I know what you mean," he said after a moment of silence. "Sometimes, it's hard to imagine he's just a six year old boy, other times, it's hard to believe he's already six years old. He's been through so much, but he always manages to pull through. It's about time Harry can act his age."
He broke off abruptly when Harry stirred, shifting slightly and slowly blinking awake. He took in his surroundings past half laden eyes, still bleary. He lifted his head, nursing a numb ear where it was squashed against Sirius' rib, hair rumpled in a flyaway angle.
Sirius didn't wait for him to readjust; he ruffled the child's hair even more, smiling. "Hey, Harry, look whose here."
Harry rubbed his eyes with his oversized sleeve, an action so childishly innocent that it made them both smile. His hand paused on an eye when he took in the blurry image of Remus, and suddenly meek and timid, slowly began edging behind his godfather.
"Hello," Harry said very softly.
Sirius smiled in amusement, "Harry, it's just Moony. You shouldn't be shy around him."
Harry peeked over Sirius' arm at Remus nervously, and Sirius shook his head with a resigned sigh.
Remus felt a flicker of regret as he watched him. The child was so deeply scarred after his years of abuse, he lost all faith in people. But Harry's attachment to Sirius ran deep; he was the only person Harry turned to. Remus often wondered what those first few days were like for them both, with Harry cringing and shuddering at every word and gesture, and Sirius mentally and physically shaken after five years of Azkaban looming over him. But Sirius must represent something remarkable to the child, after he had broken into the Dursleys at extreme risk to rescue him.
Harry rarely spoke to anyone else other than Sirius. It wasn't that Harry didn't trust him, or Dumbledore, or Madam Pomfrey; he was just shy, and painfully so. Apart of it probably came from the shock of Pettigrew's threats, Remus mused bitterly. Harry's outburst in the hotel a week ago was forced from him due to the situation, and after that, barely said more than twenty words to Dumbledore. He hid behind his godfather every time Madam Pomfrey glanced his way, and Sirius had taken to fending off the nurse to spare him. Harry wasn't as timid around Remus, but he glanced at Sirius nervously whenever he spoke. Remus supposed that Harry's faith was hard to gain, and he had yet to earn it.
Remus leaned against the edge of the bed, giving Harry a warm smile of comfort. "How do you like your new home?"
Harry bit his lip, eyes traveling over his room almost nervously. He was still, as if fearing the entire thing was a distant dream, but at his godfather's inquiring gaze, lowered his head. Sirius and Remus exchanged knowing glances; Harry was so repressed that any word of assent or happiness was magnified several times over.
"It's… nice," Harry said after a pause, a small and timid smile hidden against his godfather's shirt.
Remus grinned, leaning on his elbows to give the child a small pat on the head. "You know, Harry, you spoke more to me when I was posing as Mrs. Figg's nephew."
Harry flushed, small tinges of pink staining his unnaturally pale face as he shrank behind Sirius again. "Sorry…"
"Remus, you're embarrassing him," Sirius drew the child in a loose, one-armed hug, a defensive reflex that seemed to be ingrained in his actions.
Remus sighed, knowing better than to chide but still couldn't hide a rather exasperated glance Sirius' way. The godfather was so protective of the six year old that Remus was beginning to wonder if Harry will be sheltered for the rest of his life. The abused child needed that sanctuary, but at the extent Sirius defended him, he'd ever be able to understand the rest of the world.
Sirius stubbornly stared back, as if reading his mind. He finally settled on ruffling Remus' hair for revenge, rumpling his light brown strands so it stood as wildly as Harry's did.
"Hey!" Remus batted off Sirius' hand indignantly, making a face. He tugged at his disheveled hair, glaring at his friend. "That was uncalled for!"
"Yeah, well, that was revenge for calling me an 'old man,'" Sirius grumbled with a rather smug grin.
Remus glowered, but swallowed his next retort when he noticed Harry watching them both in puzzlement. His emerald eyes were wide, and they darted between Sirius and Remus uneasily, unsure whether his two guardians were truly angry or not.
"Old man…?" Harry echoed curiously, looking up inquiringly at his godfather.
Remus choked back a spurt of laughter, coughing discreetly into his hand. He had to duck his head to hide a smile when Sirius turned a heated stare his way.
"Yeah, that's what Padfoot is." Remus grinned mischievously when Sirius' jaw dropped.
"He… he is?" Harry asked, bewildered. The child seemed to be actually considering Remus' words.
Sirius inwardly groaned, but he forced his expression into one of a rather strained calm. He covered the six the old's ears as if trying to hide him from those statements. Harry was still innocently oblivious, completely perplexed by the odd exchange.
"No, Harry, Remus is in denial that he's an old man and is trying to shove the blame on other people," Sirius muttered, his glare promising Remus many threats of retribution in the near future.
Harry blinked. "He is? But aren't you both the same age? Does that mean you're both old men?"
*
A really strange note to end on, isn't it?
This epilogue just gave me so much trouble, I have no idea why. It was mostly because of the last scene though, something about it just feels… off. Maybe it's just because it feels more lighthearted than the rest, but it was just… weird. Remus seems too... happy, although he does have a reason to be. He just doesn't seem Remus like, but then... well, he is a lot younger. *sigh* donnuo, tell me what you think!
Lily of the Valley - humm... I should have kept the Land of the Dead scene then? I was sort of afraid it was too much like CD, and that scene takes a lot out of the sequel, but humm... *cackle* we're all so mean to James, or we like to be mean to James. What is Twisted Reality about? DROP CLUES! I'm dying here! We have to keep you from reading new fics so that your muse will be on a constant one story mode! Concentrate on CoS? Does that mean I'm allowed to put PoM on hiatus? *large grin*
Kaylin - you visited the Oregon coast? How was it? Was the beaches there rocky or sandy? I hope you liked the drafts, however fragmented they were!
Lavender Brown - humm... yeah, I see what you mean. Harry has been abused though, and children who grow up in these type of families are documented to have delayed development. ack, that makes Harry sound like he has damaged intelligence. Well, he's really shy...
Bookworm12357 - *grins* glad you liked the joke! *cackle*
... - thank you so much!
Sakrchan - the drafts did get progressive sadder... ack! I donnuo! I have no clue why my stories are all so depressing! I don't even watch soap operas, just X-Files! Ack! *bangs head against table* I'm sorry, did they really make you cry? *buys lots of tissues*
The Unicorn Whisperer - yay! Thank you! Everyone seemed to like the James section! Waah... maybe I should have stuck to it. *sigh* I hope you like this epilogue!
Rainbow - *nods* yeah, the one with Remus hitting Harry was overboard. *sigh* I donnuo what I was thinking! James always seems to get the blunt in these stories *sigh* CoS and CD. WS isn't too bad, compared to PoM. You know, I have 15 chapters of that written, but I have 22 chapters of drafts. That story is such a pain!! Actually, not writing drafts is a good thing! It means your stories flow for you in your mind, and when it comes out on paper, it writes smoothly. So it's good that you don't need drafts for Out of the Night! Harp is a really uncommon instrument, but that's because the stinkin' thing is so annoyingly hard to transport! *sigh* Ack, Harry has brown hair in the fanart, but that's because I didn't want him to blend into Padfoot. It looks weird, doesn't it?
Kaydee - ack!! The review died? Nooo! I can't read it then! *cries* will have to work off from summary, and then take the chance to reply to your CD review since I didn't get a chance. humm... The shopping scene was difficult though, since Harry techniquely wasn't suppose to be outside. But then again, that's the stupid biology book speaking. Shampoos to mask the smell of your dog... have you tried herbal essesnce? that stuff is so strong, it will mask anything. humm... onto your CD review. It's sort of debateable why Sirius escaped Azkaban, and I think it's because of Peter and Harry. Also since Sirius and Harry godfather godson stories are sort... what's a good word for it? And I love to think that Sirius escaped Azkaban for Harry, but then why did he escape only after seeing Peter's picture? He should have escaped earlier! *hits Sirius with a stick* Well, sort of, but I sort of used it as Sirius escaping for revenge because it adds to Sirius torture. It makes Sirius guilty for not thinking of Harry when he needed him. *hides* humm... as to how Harry will kill Sirius with his wand, umm... I donnuo! It just said in the book that Harry wanted to kill Sirius, I guess he could suffocate him or... I donnuo... Maybe he could try a severing charm right at his heart? humm... it would have been interesting if Harry actually did cast some sort of spell on Sirius, but that'll be evil. And then there's Lily, ack! *hides* everyone says she has red hair, so I sort of assumed. Plus, I wrote them back in May so... *hides* ack! getting grounded for dripping water over the floor... that'll be sad! I did get grounded for burning food once, humm... When does school start in Canada?
Lizard - really? chapter nine was frightening? ack! Vernon is really evil, isn't he? He should have been tortured in this story, but he got away with everything. *sigh* the 'the end' joke was fun! Although, I shouldn't admit to that... *hides* Luigi's? eh? is that an anime character?
CatsPaw - ack, really? Wow... that's a wonderful compliment, but I feel so evil at the same time. I'm so sorry for making you cry *buys tons off tissues* thank you for reading it!
Centra-gal86 - thank you! I do have a lot of other fics though
jeffo - thank you! I'll check out yours!
Sara Minks - thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it!
czelsee - I can't help it! Ack is... *sigh* maybe I should change my pen name to duck...
Blizzard - thank you! Sirius and Harry were always my favorite characters, Sirius is so under represented by JKR *cries* I hope you like the epilogue!
Allocin - you're back! *cheers* you collapsed at chapter 31? really? Wow, thank you! I hope you like the sequel!
sven - thank you so much! That's a great compliment!
Jade S - Harry was scary, wasn't he? He's like one of those creepy little kids that know everything, but look incredibly cute at the same time. Sirius and Remus are both such fascinating characters! It's great that this story made you like them even more! JKR needs more Sirius and Remus...
psycho_setsuna - thank you! if you would like to see some more art, there's a little animated button that my cousin made for me. the pictures are by me, but she did all the computer work. it's on the cos page. i hope you liked this chapter!
Moonywolf - I'd glad this AU made sense! Thank you so much for reading.
LightFaerie - that's alright, it's great that you took your time out to review this. Thank you!
august wynd - well, WS has a sequel, so it didn't exactly end just yet!
Firestone - it does have a sequel! It's titled under Clawtracks of a Star, but it's very different from WS. I hope you like that too though!
Essence of Magic - (reply to GI) thanks for your offer of critiquing! I don't have a beta reader right now (although looking at all my errors, I probably should). I'm sort of reluctant to get one because I have such erratic writing habits and bizarre mood swings, I'll probably drive you crazy. humm... lately I am having a lot of trouble with PoM, so if you're okay with really bad writing habits and hair tearing complaints and countless head banging, then... yeah. thank you so much for offering!