*wanders in, stumbling about with a few CDs, a Maths book, a Physics book, a Chemistry book, a bunch of papers and some pens and pencils*. Gah, priorities. Year 11 bogs me down with tons of work. Oh well, it's not going to stop me from writing fanfiction.

DISCLAIMER : I still don't own Live A Live. That's probably a good thing. If I owned Live A Live, it would be more insane than it already is. No, Live A Live belongs to the nice people at Square of Japan.

Oh yes, the main subject matter for this one will NOT be surprising for people who know me at least marginally well. (Or, who have read my DiaryLand entries.) No spoilers in this one, as far as I'm aware.

*sits down, opens old Maths book and starts doing some work from it* What are you still doing here? Watching me do my Maths work isn't exciting! Go read the fic. Oh yeah, I make no promises on keeping the characters "In Character". So if you think a character is acting out of character, don't come whining, please. And the English Version Translation names are being used. You know, to avoid confusion.

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DIRECTOR'S AGONY - "EVERYBODY WAS... NOT QUITE KUNG-FU FIGHTING."

A Live A Live Alternate Universe fanfic, Part 2.

By - Helen Donaldson.

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We begin our little story here again with the Director running off to find the replacement for Masaru, Masaru standing there in shock and Odie still trying to remove a crab from his finger. Of course, as sadistically amusing as it may be, we will not be watching Odie deal with his slight crab problems.

Instead, our story continues on the civilian transport known as the Cogito Ergosum, or, more specifically, said transport's Refresh Room. The faint strains of the "Captain Square" theme can be heard in the background as the human beings and robot were milling about, minding their own business. However, it was not to last, as...

"Rachel, this is NOT the time or place to be doing that!". At this sudden announcement, a tallish young man  with dark skin and curly black hair, whom was wearing a green jumpsuit, promptly spat a mouthful of coffee out through his nose.

"CUT!" the Director for this scenario yelled in exasperation. "Huey, that was a WONDERFUL spit take, but Kirk.... you were NOT supposed to say anything during this scene!".

Kirk, a tall caucasian man with short, spiky blond hair and who was wearing a green jumpsuit almost identical to Huey's, looked in the direction of the rather annoyed director. "I was only trying to help!" he claimed, in a less-than-sincere tone.

"You're mean, Kirk...." Huey grumbled, covering his lower face with his left hand. As you might have assumed, the experience of having hot coffee go out through his nose was hardly pleasant.

A small spherical robot wearing what looked like a large pair of square glasses and a red cap looked upwards at the human beings as best as it could, and let out a concerned beep.

"Don't worry Cube, he'll be fine." a rather short young boy with short black hair, whom was wearing a similar green jumpsuit, a blue cap and a pair of glasses stated. The robot, identified as Cube, beeped questioningly. "I'm serious here. If he can take Kirk's tormenting, he can certainly take this.".

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, Kato, but names really, really hurt...." Huey responded defiantly, looking somewhat dismayed.

Kirk raised an eyebrow at this. "I'm sorry, does my name calling really hurt you that much?" he said, while sneering. "Ok, I promise I won't do it again....".

Huey looked in Kirk's direction, a small glimmer of hope in his eyes. "Really?" he said, his tone of voice somewhat suspicious.

"Sure." Kirk replied, a smirk forming upon his lips. "....Chicken.".

"Hey! You PROMISED!" the dark man shot back, in a tone that can only be described by 'whiny'. At this, Cube scurried across the floor, and hid under the table, emitting a somewhat frightened beep.

Kato smacked his forehead at this exchange, somehow managing to not ruin his glasses in the process. I do not know them. he thought, somewhat annoyed. I do not know them. I have never met these people in my life. They are total strangers who I have to work with. I do not know them. Kato's thoughts, needless to say, continued on in this vein.

Before Kirk could respond to Huey's outburst with a snide comment, he suddenly felt a sharp pain in the back of his head. He turned around, and saw a rather large-busted young blonde woman with her hair tied up in a ponytail atop her head, and wearing a red shirt and green cargo pants held up by two suspender belts. "What was that for, Rachel!?" he demanded.

Rachel sighed. "If you were any meaner, you'd be a stereotype." she said calmly. "I wouldn't normally be reacting like this, as this IS Huey you're picking on....".

"Somebody didn't inform me that this was 'annoy the assistant' day...." Huey muttered under his breath. Of course, this comment was ignored.

"But, don't think I didn't hear what you said to get him to spit his coffee out like that!" Rachel continued, her voice on the verge of going into a full-blown scream. Her hand moved as though she was going to slap Kirk,  but she quickly thought better of it, and instead turned her back to him. "You're sleeping on the lounge tonight." she stated, in a bitter tone.

Corporal Darth looked up from where he was sitting, rather unamused at the exchange. He chose not to say anything, until finally deciding on an appropriate phrase to use. "You're all a bunch of immature children.".

"Thank you!" the four humans chimed. From under the table, Cube beeped in appreciation. If Corporal Darth had a response to that, he would have quickly decided that it was crude and unlikely for a man of his caliber to say. Instead, the army-man maintained his taciturn act.

I wonder if the guy in charge will give me hazard pay for all the brain cells I've lost due to this cast.... the Director thought in disdain, rubbing his temples. He then turned to the Cameraman. "Have we stopped filming yet?" he asked.

The Cameraman shook his head. "I figure this could be a potentially good scene!" he responded.

The Director frowned in response. "You're wasting film." he stated bluntly.

"Sorry....". The Cameraman lowered his head, ashamed, and he reached over to flip a switch on the side of his oversized video camera. "I'll never do it again, I....". The Cameraman's short speech was interrupted by the unmistakeable sound of a doorbell ringing.

"I'LL GET THAT!" the Director said quickly. "Time out, everyone!". The Director ran over to the door and opened it.... only to see the Director of Masaru's chapter standing there. "What do you want?".

(Author's Note - To save confusion, the director of Masaru's chapter will now be referred to as D1, and the director of Cube's chapter will now be referred to as D2. Sorry for the interruption, I'd give you a cookie for dealing with this, but I don't have one. On with the story.)

"Excuse me, is this the Science Fiction Chapter's filming room?" D1 asked.

"No, it's the local depository of human waste." D2 replied sarcastically. Screaming could be heard in the background, but seeing that the directors were a fair way away from the cast members, it sounded like gibberish.

D1 glanced into the room. "Human waste? I don't see any human waste...." he mused, in confusion.

"Sarcasm." D2 said in a frustrated tone.

"Riiight. Say, can I ask a favour of you?" D1 asked. As you may have figured out, the screaming in the background continued.

D2 sighed. "No, I'm not loaning you my credit card again. You maxed it out last time.".

"Damn." D1 said, snapping his fingers. "But that wasn't what I was going to ask you. Um... could you come out here? It's a bit too.... noisy in there."

"Sure, fine, whatever." D2 sighed, walking out of the door.

At this point, we would either record the director's conversation, or what exactly is going on with the Cogito Ergosum cast. However, since the conversation isn't interesting, and the cast members are acting too much like children for most people's personal tastes, we will skip to around fifteen minutes later. Deal with it. D2 walked back into the room, shutting the door behind him.

Times can be desperate.... D2 thought to himself. Even more so if someone must ask for help from one of.... Typically, his train of thought derailed, and he sat back into his chair.

"Well?" Rachel asked, turning in the direction of D2.

"Let's just say I've got either some good news or bad news, depending on how you want to look at it." D2 sighed. "The thing is, the other director there asked me a favour, and I was only too happy to agree to it. So,  you're getting the rest of the day off....". Mass cheering could be heard. "That is, everyone except for Watanbe over there.".

"Um, excuse me, I have a name...." Kato objected.

"And I don't care. You're a Watanbe as far as I'm concerned, so shut up." D2 ordered, and Kato was quick to obey. "You see, the other director wants to borrow him because HIS lead got injured.".

Corporal Darth looked in the direction of D2. "Hang on, that was the director for the Modern Age chapter, wasn't it?".

"Yes, your point?" D2 asked.

"If you'll pardon me for wondering, why is he asking to borrow someone who clearly has no fighting experience to participate in a chapter like that? I mean, he'd probably faint if something were to fall on his head...." Corporal Darth commented. Then.... "AAAGH! That bloody hurt!". From under the table, it could be seen that Cube had ran over Darth's toes, perhaps as vengeance for what had been said about his creator.

D2 rolled his eyes. "Cube, try that again and I will be forced to dismantle you.". In response to this, Cube beeped sadly and backed away from Darth's feet as best as it could. "Now, to answer your question, Darth, he was looking for a look-alike." he said, somewhat annoyed.

"I see." Corporal Darth said, not satisfied with the answer, but not willing to question D2 about it either.

Meanwhile, back at the beachy scene, the cast and crew of the Modern Age chapter were eating lunch. Next to where Odie was sitting lay a broken crab shell, and Odie himself was eating what was formerly the interior of the crab.

The Animal Rights Society is going to be pissed.... Masaru thought to himself.

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And that's another part of "Director's Agony" finished. That means.... it's halfway done. *coughs* My notes :

Cogito Ergosum is, apparently, the saying "I think, therefore I am" in Latin. Interesting name to pick for your ship, Captain Hall. :P

Am I the only one who thinks that Kato is a Watanbe? I mean, Watanbe is a recurring theme in the game, and it's always about a father and son. Since it's unclear who the son is in Cube's scenario, my theory could be quite possible.

The way I see things, Kirk is a bastard. Even if he does get some of THE best lines in the game.

And Kato said it himself, Kirk and Huey are polar opposites. That doesn't mean I didn't take a few liberties with Huey's character, though. -_-

Rachel's character I took FAR too many liberties with. She's one of those characters I just can't get a good grip on. (Err, not like that.)

This is the first and last time I'll be using D1 and D2. Mainly because this was the only chapter D2 was going to be in.

Next part will be finished.... eventually. I know, I know, this chapter was kind of weak. Don't worry, only two more chapters to go, and then you can conveniently forget about this thing. ^_^