Chapter Two- In which Jack discovers pizza and peanut butter

"I'm sure there must be some kind of mistake, Doctor," Jack stammered. "I mean, hello, male!"

"I understand your worries, Jack, Eric," Dr Summers said. "That was the reason we ran the test so many times."

"But I don't understand how...." Eric wondered aloud.

"That's why I asked about the statue. The person your friends brought the statue from, has a habit of causing problems. In this case, the statue really is a fertility bringer, but only to same-sex couples. And it affects the person who touches it first."

"Which would have been me." Jack looked grim. "How will my body... carry a baby?"

"It will create an artificial womb. What I want you do, is take these once a day." She handed Jack a big bottle. "Those are prenatal vitamins. It would be awkward for you to have to get those at the store. Here's my business card. Call me day or night if you have any questions, alright?" She stood up. "Stop by the appointment desk before you leave, please, so that we can see you in a month."

Still in a daze, they stopped by the desk and set an appointment for a month later, then stumbled out into the late afternoon sunshine.

"Well, that was not the answer I was hoping for," Jack said once he could talk.

"I would tell you to get a second opinion, but I'm afraid to let too many people know if it's really true." Eric looked thoughtful. "Tell you what, I'll meet you back at the house, okay?"

"Where are you going?"

"I have to check back in at the office, for one thing. And I have to pick up something. Trust me." Eric kissed Jack lightly. "Will you okay driving home?"

"Yeah. See you."

Jack got into his car and sat for a minute looking into his rearview mirror. He certainly didn't look any different than usual, except that his usually calm expression was one of panic. "Breathe," he muttered. "Get home, then you can fall apart."

He drove home as fast as he could, and then got into the house as fast as he could because the nausea was making a return appearance. By the time that Eric got home, Jack was lying on the couch, eating potato chips.

"Hey there. Feeling okay?" Eric asked, dropping to one knee beside the couch.

"Yeah. Hey, so where did you go?"

"To the store. I had to go out of town to avoid embarrassing questions."

"Now you've got me curious. What did you buy?"

"Piece of mind." Eric pulled out a pregnancy test. "See, I know that we already got the doctor's results, but I thought that if we could see it for ourselves, it might sink in."

"Do you think that it will work? I mean..."

"I'm assuming that the hormones are still the same," Eric interrupted.

"Okay. Well, see you in a few."

Jack took the box and went into the bathroom. He read the directions carefully before proceeding.

Outside the bathroom, Eric listened tensely as Jack issued muffled curses. Finally he reemerged holding a slender stick.

"It says to wait five minutes, and the little window thing will change color."

"What was with all the sailor language in there?" Eric asked curiously.

"You're supposed to hold the thing in your... stream. And the thing certainly is not designed for men."

"I think that's the idea. Look at it this way. You'll only have to do this once in your life."

"Good point. Oh...look." Jack and Eric stared at the stick as the window changed from white to a pale blue to a decidedly dark blue.

"Oh my God! It's blue!" Jack couldn't stop staring at the thing.

"It's really blue."

"Well, there's no such thing as kinda pregnant," Jack quipped. Then he sobered. "Well, this means that I'm going to have a lot of explaining to do at work."

"And how are we going to tell our families? But wait a minute-" Eric ran and got another bag from the living room. "Uh, it's really stupid... just open it."

Jack peeked inside the bag and pulled out a little package. Inside was a small pair of booties.

"I just wanted to show you that I'm here for you," Eric explained, a soft blush staining his cheeks.

"You'd better be. You knocked me up." Jack laughed. "Guess what? We're going to be dads!"

They did a crazy little dance of celebration before Eric remembered Jack's 'delicate' state and pulled him over to a couch.

"You've got to be careful, okay? No stressful cases at work."

"And how will I tell them that? 'I'm sorry, but that's dangerous for the baby." And I'm going to have to give up coffee and alcohol."

"It's not like that will be a hardship."

"I have a five-coffee-a-day habit. That's going to be tough."

"Well, if you get too evil, I'm sleeping in the guest room."

"Don't you dare. I'll just come in there and join you, anyway."

"I know. Hey, are you hungry? You should eat! And take those vitamins the doctor gave you!"

"Please don't tell me that you'll be clucking over me the whole nine months," Jack groaned. "Although I could go for some salad. Let's go out to dinner tonight."

"Sounds good to me."

They jumped in the car and went to a little deli where Jack proceeded to buy Nova lox, bagels, cream cheese, chopped liver and Bermuda onions, along with a tub of potato salad.

"Please tell me that you've actually eaten these foods before," Eric whispered to Jack as they stood in line to pay for their purchases.

"All the time. No, I'm not having food cravings, I think it's a little early for that."

After they got back home, Jack made Eric sample everything. Eric maintained that the only thing he could see himself eating on a regular basis was the bagels and cream cheese. "And maybe the potato salad. But I like my mom's better."

"Everyone's entitled to their opinion."

"But you are not kissing me with onion breath, so you might want to rethink that sandwich."

Jack looked longingly at the sandwich he just made, then at Eric, then at the sandwich. Finally he kissed Eric quickly and dove into the sandwich.

"Cheater," Eric grumbled.

"Aw, you know you love me."

The next few weeks flew by, with the only difference in Jack's routine being that instead of having coffee throughout the day, he drank water and orange juice, for the folic acid. He told everyone that he was taking a leave of absence to have an operation, which was partially true because the baby would be born by cesarean section.

When he was in the second month, they had their second appointment with Dr Summers. She told them everything was fine and that they should dispose of the statue as soon as possible, with Jack handling it, unless they wanted Eric to get pregnant too. They took her advice and actually gave it to Rachel as a belated wedding gift.

There was a big change- Jack's hormones were through the roof. He could barely watch television or listen to music without the waterworks flowing. And the bad part was that he was intensely aware of how emotional he was, and couldn't control it.

"Look!" he said one day when they were watching a movie. It was a commercial for a film company. "The little boy blew up the picture for his grandmother! And now they're going to play catch!"

Eric automatically handed him a box of tissues. "We've seen this commercial seven times during this movie. Why does it make you cry every time?"

"I don't know," Jack wailed. "Its just that the little boy surprised his grandmother and wanted to spend time with her!"

Eric patted his back consolingly as he sobbed. When he finally got himself together, he looked at Eric sheepishly.

"I do that every time! I am so sorry."

"It's okay. At least you're not like Topanga when she was pregnant with Cory."

"I know! She put Cory through hell for nine months."

"And he was so patient."

"You're patient with me," Jack pointed out.

"That's because you're so darn cute."

"I hope you think that when I'm all of nine months and big as a house." Jack snuggled close to Eric.

"I'll still think that."

Now into his fourth month, Jack's morning sickness was nothing but a memory. His food cravings, though, were just beginning...

"Eric? Eric!"

Eric turned enough in Jack's arms to look him in the eye. "What?" He looked at the clock radio. "It's two in the morning."

"Will you get me some strawberry cheesecake ice cream?"

"Now?"

"Never mind, I'll get it myself." Jack started to swing his legs over the side of the bed.

"No, it's alright. Just don't fall asleep before I get back, okay?" Eric got up and put some pants on that he kept by the bed. "Always making me get up and run to the store like some nut," he mock- grumbled.

He grabbed his wallet and keys, belatedly remembering to put on a shirt before walking out the door. On the way to the store, Eric's cell phone rang.

"Eric? Hey, it's me. Could you get some pickles, some sweet ones, too?"

"Let me get this straight. You want strawberry cheesecake ice cream and sweet pickles?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, I'm not going to ask any more questions that I might not like. See you when I get home."

Eric walked briskly through the store, picking out the items that Jack had requested. When he went through the checkout line, the cashier eyed his purchases, smiled and asked, "Pregnant wife?"

"In a matter of speaking, yes." He paid for the purchases and left the store. He drove home, only to find Jack waiting on the living room couch. He took the groceries out of Eric's hands and threw them into the freezer.

"I thought you were hungry," Eric said, bewildered.

"I am." Jack wrestled Eric onto the couch. He started working his hands underneath Eric's shirt.

"Oh. Oh!" Eric tried to get up. He finally succeeded in sitting up, with Jack straddling him.

"What are you doing?"

"It's been four months, Eric." Even in the dim light, Eric could see the hurt in Jack's eyes. "Don't you want me?"

"I want you. Right now, you can tell how much I want you." Eric watched Jack's face start to heat up. "But... I was worried about hurting the baby," he said honestly.

"You won't. We'll all three be fine." Jack got up and pulled Eric to his feet. "Please?"

The simple statement touched Eric. "Anything. Anything for you."

Later, as they lay panting on their bed, Eric moved his hand over Jack's curving stomach. "Are you sure? That was kind of... athletic."

"I'm sure. Onward to the ice cream!" Jack got up and put on some shorts and walked back into the kitchen. Pulling the pickle jar out of the freezer, he got a knife and diced about six of them up. Then he scooped ice cream on top of the diced pickle.

"There is no way in hell that I'm watching you eat that. Good night."

"Night, babe," Jack answered, his mouth already full.

The same pattern repeated itself over the next month. Jack would always request some kind of ice cream with something that should never go with ice cream, and when Eric would get back from the store, Jack would be waiting, ready, and able.

"You know, it's getting so I can't look at your picture at work," Jack confessed to Eric. "When I look at it, I find myself wanting to call you and tell you to come over to my office so that I can have my wicked way with you on my couch."

"Wow."

"I know. Rachel came in to ask me a question, and I was making lists of dessert toppings we could try. You know, together."

Eric burst out laughing. "That's some strong hormones. So, which one did you decide on?"

"There's this new one. It's semisweet chocolate. But since chocolate gives me heartburn now, I'm going with whipped cream."

"Imagine the possibilities."

"Eric! Come here!"

In a panic, Eric ran to the bedroom, expecting the worst. When he opened the door, he saw Jack sitting on the bed, staring sadly at the closet.

"What's wrong?"

"I can't fit anything! Not my suits, pants, shorts, anything!"

Eric bit the sides of his cheeks to keep from laughing. "Why don't you just wear a pair of my pants? We're the same height, so you won't have to cuff them or anything like that." He went over to his dresser drawer and pulled out a pair of sweats. "Here, put these on, and we'll go buy you some things."

"Now I have to shop? The day gets worse and worse!" Jack groaned. He took the pair of pants and slid into them. They were a little long, but otherwise fit fine.

"All right, let's go."

They stopped in a grocery store, where Jack picked up a jar of chunky peanut butter. "What are you planning to do with that?" Eric asked curiously.

"I don't know..." Jack said. "But I'll come up with something."

After they finished their shopping, Eric asked, "What do you want for dinner?"

"Pizza. You can pick the toppings."

"Cool." Eric called the delivery person while Jack put away the new clothes they had picked up. Just knowing that in another month or so, he would have to get more was disheartening.

When the pizza arrived, Eric paid the guy and set the pizza on the table. "Jack... food's here!"

"All right!" Jack came running from the bedroom. Grabbing the jar of peanut butter, he sat down at the table.

"Oh no... tell me that you're not going to...." Eric moaned as Jack took a slice of pizza and covered it liberally with the peanut butter.

"I'm sorry, it just..." Jack took a bite and sighed with pleasure. "It just hits everything."

"You used to make sounds like that for me," Eric said.

"And I will... after I finish this."

"We have a message from Dr Summers to come into the office tonight," Jack said to Eric.

"What's up?"

"She got a diagnostic ultrasound machine for us, and she doesn't want anyone else in the building when we come in."

"What's a diagnostic ultrasound machine?"

"It's for the sonogram. You know, so that we can see the baby."

"Great!" Eric put his head next to Jack's stomach. "We're going to see you tonight."

Dr Summers poured the gel over Jack's stomach and then put the probe onto the gel. "Do you want to know the sex of the baby?"

"Yes," said Eric.

"No," said Jack.

They looked at each other in confusion. "I thought we agreed that we wanted to know?" Eric asked.

"Well, I did, but now I kinda want to be surprised."

Dr Summers moved the probe around. "Oh. Oh!"

"What's with the 'oh's'?" Jack questioned, alarmed.

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Cliffhanger! Yes, I'm bad. But the next chapter should be ready within the week. Bye!