Title: "Dreams Reveal", A Stargate SG-1 fanfic
Author: Marie Whi Mitshue
Pairing: Jackson/O'Neill
Type: Male/male Slash
Rating: R - some blood, some angst, a little m/m action, but not much
Archive: You may, just *ask* first, please.
Feedback: kumiko_chan@gundamwing.net
Summary: Jack has a dream of Daniel dying. This dream of Daniel's death is just one thing too many for him to take and it forces him to confront what he really feels for his best friend.
Disclaimer: They do not belong to me at all, in any way, shape or form. If they did, Daniel Jackson would still be on the show, and him and Jack would be together, baby!
Author's Notes (also known as Marie's Ramblings): WAAAHHHHH!!! I MISS DANIEL!!!! Want him back!!! (pouts, sobs and rants abound here. Please pay no attention the sulking author ranting in the corner)
Oh, and Master Sergeant Walter Cape is the white-haired, glasses-wearing tech who has been sitting in the control room for 5 years, and not *once* has anyone called him by name. EXCEPT in the episode "2010" when he was a tour guide at the SGC museum and Jack called him 'Walter'. My friend, Red, and me nicknamed him "The Chad" 'cause he had no name. And the last name 'Cape' is the best we could guess, 'cause we could never get a clear shot of his nametag. Sorry, but we obsessed over this poor guy one caffeine- filled, sleep-deprived night, wondering *why* no one ever called him by name, considering he's been there since the very first episode! Are we nuts or what!! (If anyone actually KNOWS this character's name, email me and put me out of my misery!)
This fic probably ain't so good. Abject apologies are extended to all. (NOT!) I'm not certain if I've made Jack Out-Of-Character, or just pushed him far enough for him to realise the truth - THAT HE LOVES DANIEL!!! They are just so.*right* together, ya know?
ANYway, I'm into my own season 5 and 6. As far as *I'm* concerned, 'Meridian' bloody well never happened!!!! (ARRGGGHHH!!!) Daniel, I miss you!!! (sigh)
*emphasis* (the more **, the greater the emphasis)
2IC means Second In Command (just in case ya didn't know)
Sorry for the big ass author's note! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"SG-1 report to the Control Room! Repeat, SG-1, report to the Control Room immediately!"
Master Sergeant Cape's urgent voice thundered over the general intercom, echoing all over the base, a fraction of a second before the alarms and red lights go off.
Colonel Jack O'Neill jumped about a foot in the air, the spoonful of chicken noodle soup heading for his mouth splattering onto the tablecloth instead as he spun. The spoon dropped to the floor with a metallic clink as the greying officer hared out of the Commissary like a bunny on speed.
He nearly slammed into Major Samantha Carter as he rounded the corner near her lab. His hand shot out to steady the blonde, even as her hand shot out to steady him. They exchanged worried looks, but kept running. They met Teal'c as they clattered up the metal steps to the Control Room. The massive, dark-skinned Jaffa's brow was furrowed with concern beneath the golden Serpent tattoo that marked him as former First Prime of Apophis.
The three stopped beside General George Hammond, glancing out at the main area of the Stargate Room - otherwise officially known as the Embarkation Room. The Iris was closed, the back of the room behind the 'Gate awash with the faint, dancing, silvery-blue reflections of an active wormhole.
"Sir -" O'Neill began, but Cape, at his station in front of the computers, called out.
"It's SG-11's IDC, sir."
"Open the Iris. Get a medical team down here." Hammond ordered, glancing worriedly at three of the four members of SG-1. He didn't have to say anything: Dr. Daniel Jackson, SG-1's final member, had gone on an archaeological dig mission to P2E-774 with SG-11 and several civilian scientists - and SG-11 had just dialled home, and they weren't due back for four more days. That meant Trouble.
O'Neill, Teal'c, Carter and Hammond hurried down the stairs, footsteps clattering noisily, and shot into the 'Gate Room, just as SG-11 came falling through the Stargate, bloody, dirty, weapons still at the ready.
SG-1 waited anxiously, helping a stumbling man here, steadying another here, all the while watching that circle of rippling silver-blue, watching for the familiar figure of Daniel Jackson.
Lieutenant Montoya, SG-11's 2IC came last through the 'Gate, a limp form sprawled across his shoulders in a fireman's carry.
"Lock it up!" Montoya screamed, stumbling down the ramp. The Iris closed behind him, and impacts were heard as who - or what - ever had attacked them tried to follow and ended up going bugsquat on the iris.
O'Neill froze as he saw the familiar head - gold-touched, short brown hair hidden beneath an olive-green bandanna - slumped against Montoya's shoulder. The muscular Marine was awash with blood, and as he lifted the limp, heavy body of Daniel Jackson off his shoulders and laid him gently on the floor, it became evident that the blood was all *Daniel's*. Daniel's wire-framed glasses were missing, and blood splattered up one cheek and across his neck, eyes closed, face deathly pale. His torso was a swirl of scarlet, olive green and black cloth, torn muscle and tissue, and the white glint of shattered bone, his arms and legs gashed and slashed, uniform sleeves and legs ripped, torn and tattered, stained red with blood. Somehow, his face had escaped injury.
O'Neill's paralysis broke at the sight and he found himself kneeling at Daniel's side, Carter, Teal'c and Hammond around him.
"DANIEL!" He cried, and, across the room, Dr. Janet Frasier looked up from a Marine's torn knee. Her face paled at the sight of the linguist's broken body, and waved another medic over to deal with the Marine, rising to pick her way across the room.
Montoya's face was grief-stricken, tears pouring unchecked down his face.
"He's dead, he's *dead*. We found him at the dig site like this, and then all hell broke loose. These.these *things* out of a nightmare, all teeth and claws and horrible eyes, swarmed out of the ground and attacked us! We didn't know there was any danger! They'd been there for a week, and nothing had happened before! We let Dr. Jackson stay the night by himself at the dig, he knows procedure, he can fight, he can shoot! Trusted him to know more about threats than one of the scientists, even though there didn't seem to be *any* threat. Thought he would be safe. *I* let him stay there.Oh, God, Daniel's dead, *Daniel*, and it's all *my* fault."
"No." O'Neill found his hands on Daniel's bloodied, arched throat, searching for a pulse. "Daniel! DANNY! Come on, DannyBoy, don't do this to me! DANIEL!!!"
No pulse, no breath, and his body was only faintly warm.
The room had fallen silent, the medics and soldiers alike stunned at the possibility of Dr. Jackson actually being *dead*. As in not coming back, permanently deceased, 'folded flag and funeral time' dead. Daniel had died and come back so many times he had earned the nickname of the Resurrection Specialist, the Come Back King. The SGC believed three things about SG-1: they could do the *impossible*; they'd save the world *every* time; and Daniel *couldn't* die.
"No." Carter was crying, hanging on to a grim-faced Teal'c for support.
O'Neill's hands framed Daniel's face, as Frasier gently pushed Montoya out of the way, the lieutenant still crying and stammering. She knew at one look that there was nothing she could do, Daniel's body had been savaged too badly. He wasn't coming back from death this time.
"Daniel, please, come on, Space Monkey, *please*, you can't do this to me, Danny, wake UP!!" O'Neill pleaded brokenly, unaware of the tears sliding down his cheeks. "Danny, Daniel, Daniel . *PLEASE*.come on."
"He's gone, son." Hammond said gently, eyes wet and anguished.
"NO!" O'Neill shouted, shrugging the general's hand off his shoulder violently. "He CAN'T.DANIEL, OPEN YOUR EYES!!!" O'Neill found his arms wrapped around the body of his best friend, hugging him tight to him. Daniel's arms dangled, loosely curled fingers brushing the floor, and his blood soaked the colonel's clothes. One hand cradled the back of Daniel's head, and O'Neill's face was pressed against Daniel's cheek and bandanna- covered hair. "Daniel, please, Daniel, *please*, Daniel, NO, GOD, this can't be happening, Daniel, you can't die on me, you can't leave me, *PLEASE*, what am I supposed to do without you?! You can't do this to me! **DANIEL!!!!**"
~~((((~~
Jack O'Neill jerked awake, his anguished, terrified shout echoing in his darkened bedroom. The USAF officer bolted upright, hand nearly knocking over the bedside lamp in his haste to turn it on. Light bloomed as his shaking fingers found the switch. The large, bright green numbers of his alarm clock blinked at him from the nightstand: 3:49 AM.
"God."
That had been some nightmare, vividly real, completely, overwhelmingly real. He could still feel the limp, heavy weight of Daniel's body in his arms, the clammy feel of his own uniform as Daniel's blood soaked it, the rough/soft feel of Daniel's bandanna and Daniel's cooling skin against his cheek as he cradled Daniel's mangled body close. He could still feel it.like it had been *real*, and *not* a nightmare.
His heart was hammering, cold sweat beaded his forehead and upper lip, and his stomach was roiling with terror, nausea, grief, and horror. Despair so thick he could almost taste it was refusing to fade away, his mind refusing to accept that it had only been a dream.
"Daniel." He couldn't be dead.could he? He was safe, sleeping right now in his loft apartment.wasn't he?
O'Neill found the phone in his hand, holding it to his ear, rings going through, with absolutely no memory of dialling. The rings went on and on, and his grip tightened so much on the cordless phone that the plastic creaked and groaned. Then, finally, the ringing stopped, replaced by an open line.
"'Ello?" Daniel's sleep-soft voice murmured, barely awake. "Hello?"
"Daniel." O'Neill rasped out in a trembling, hoarse voice, relief cutting through him like a hot knife through butter. But the horrible fear and grief and despair didn't diminish in the slightest.
"Jack?" Daniel's voice was suddenly more alert, concern and alarm audible in his voice. "Jack, is that you? It's four in the morning." He paused, and when he spoke again his voice was even more worried. "What's wrong?"
"D..Daniel.I." O'Neill found tears sliding silently down his face, unable to finish his sentence. Disbelief choked him. What if he was dreaming this and the other was reality? What if *this* was the dream and Daniel's death the *truth*?
"Jack?!" Daniel's voice was sharp with worry. "Jack?!? Are you at home or on the base?" Silence, for a second, broken only by the quivering, harsh, almost sobbing breathing of O'Neill, and then Daniel shouted at him, voice agitated and shaking. "Jack! ARE YOU HOME?!"
"Y..yeah.Daniel." A sob escaped him before he could stifle it, loud and ragged and frightened over the line.
"I'll be right there, Jack. Do you understand, I'm coming, I'll be *right there*, okay? Don't go anywhere. Whatever's wrong, we can handle it. Just stay there. *I'm coming*. *We* can handle *whatever* it is, all right?" Daniel's voice was scared beneath its forced veneer of calm, but utterly determined and sincere. "Jack? *Answer* me!"
"S.stay.here.you're.c..coming.*Daniel*." Jack managed to whisper back, voice ragged and heavy with emotion. Was this the dream? Would he wake to find Daniel dead? Daniel.dead. Was he really lying in the SGC morgue? Or was he already in the ground's indifferent embrace, alone and cold? Was this only a dream? Was Daniel's voice, scared, worried and firm, all a dream, a grieving figment of his mind?
"That's right. I'm hanging up Jack, and I'll be **right there**! Hold on, Jack." The line went silent, and then the harsh hum an unconnected line sounded in his ear.
Was this only in his mind? Was this just wishful thinking, grieving, self- deluding denial? Would he wait for Daniel, and wait and wait, only to finally awake to Daniel's absence? Would he wake to find that Daniel was gone? Would he wake from this and find Daniel's office empty, Daniel's loft empty, Daniel's things in boxes in his own living room? Would he wake to find another loved one buried, another headstone to stare at, another loss that would rip his soul out? He had almost lost Daniel, almost lost his best friend, so many times already! Would this be the time he lost him forever? Daniel meant so much to him.SO much. How could he go on if he had lost the one person who had brought him back to life? If it hadn't been for Daniel, after Charlie's death, he'd already be dead. The thought of Daniel's death cut just as deeply as Charlie's had. If Daniel was dead. Daniel had made him see life again after Charlie. Daniel had brought him out of the dark shadow and into the light.there would be no Daniel to help him this time. Daniel. if he was gone, there'd be no Daniel to bring him back into the light again, no Daniel to offer solace and comfort, unconditional friendship and caring.
O'Neill hugged the cordless phone to his chest, a solid, tangible link with Daniel, not even hearing the strident BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! as the phone objected to the open line. Tear still trickled down his face unchecked, unnoticed, as he cowered on the bed, lost in fear and dread.
How long he sat there, waiting fearfully, he didn't know. It could've been years or only minutes. Then, suddenly, he heard the street door slam open, then running footsteps thundered up his stairs. The bedroom door crashed open and Daniel stood there, breathing hard, dressed in a pair of navy-blue- striped pyjama pants, an ivory pullover sweater, and a battered, old pair of sneakers. His short, light brown hair was tousled and uncombed, glasses sliding low on his nose, and terrible fear was in his azure eyes.
"D..Daniel." Jack drank in the sight of him, unbelievingly, chocolate-dark eyes wide, still huddled in the middle of his bed, clutching the phone like a lifeline.
Daniel was beside him in an instant, kneeling on the bed, hands hovering worriedly, but uncertainly over him, not quite touching.
"Jack, what's wrong?"
"Daniel.you're alive." Jack breathed. Finally, *finally*, the horrible fear and grief and despair inside him began to ease, just a little.
"What?!" Daniel's brow furrowed, then he eased the phone from Jack's hands and hung it up in its cradle. "What do you mean, Jack?"
Jack reached out and pulled the startled, worried linguist into his arms. He curled himself around his best friend, burying his face against the hollow of Daniel's neck, hands fisting in the pale knit of Daniel's sweater. He breathed in raggedly, smelling the scent of Daniel's skin, his hair, and the lingering remnant of the cologne, feeling the warmth of Daniel's skin, the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed, the quiet thump-thump of his heart. He was undeniably alive. and the stark relief and soul-shaking exultation that ripped through him tore down every defence he had, and let him see just what he'd been hiding from himself and everybody else for all these years.
"Jack?!" Daniel squeaked. Then, as Jack's shaking sobs began, he wrapped his arms around the colonel, hugging him tight, whispering soothing nonsense into his ear, one hand stroking his T-shirt-clad back gently, the other cupping the back of Jack's head. Endearments and reassurances spoken in a dozen different languages spilled absently from his lips as he rocked gently, back and forth, trying to calm his friend, trying to bring some measure of comfort to him.
"Daniel.had a dream..thought.thought I'd lost you .*again*." Jack rasped out between sobs.
"Shh, Jack, you haven't lost me. I'm right here." Daniel whispered back, stroking the older man's back and head, fingers threading through the silver-grey hair.
Jack's head rose, gazing wonderingly at Daniel's face, and the younger man's breath caught at the mindless, terrible fear and immeasurably deep affection in those deep, dark eyes. Jack's hands slid up to cup Daniel's shoulders, clutching tightly. "I couldn't convince myself.that it was.a dream. I was *sure* you were gone this time... and I felt.so.so." Jack struggled for words, face flushed beneath the tears.
"It's all right, Jack. You don't have to -" Daniel said, but Jack interrupted him fiercely.
"YES! Yes, I do! You have to understand Daniel." He sucked in a breath. "It hit me." He paused to drag in a shaking breath. "Thinking I had lost you, that you were *dead* and there wasn't some miracle to bring you back this time.it hit me as hard as losing Charlie had."
Daniel inhaled sharply, stunned. But the colonel wasn't finished.
"All I could think was 'who would make me come back from the edge this time?' You saved my life, Daniel, you *saved me* after Charlie's death. I was ready to eat my own gun, ready to die on what was supposed to be a suicide mission, and you.just by being you, a caring, passionate, stubborn, earnest person.you brought me back into the light. And all I could see was myself standing in front of your gravestone, ready to eat my gun again. Willing to, wanting to die, if you weren't here.if you were truly dead, then.there was nothing left to live for."
"Jack." Daniel's breathed unsteadily, tears gathering in his sky-blue eyes.
"Shh, I *have* to tell you this, Daniel." One of Jack's hands rose, fingers curving around the side of Daniel's neck, thumb brushing lightly over Daniel's slightly stubbly jaw line. "There'd be no you to save me this time. There'd be no *you*! I realised in that instant.when I was drowning in despair and horror and grief and anguish.I realised, you mean *so* much to me, Daniel. Too much. If I were to lose you.God, Daniel, I realise now.Daniel, I. I.lo." Jack hesitated, staring at Daniel, unable to say the words, though the emotion was glowing in his eyes as incandescent as a sun.
Daniel stared back, stunned and overwhelmed. A single tear slid down his cheek, but his full lips curved in a shy smile. "You love me, Jack? Is that what you want to say? Is that what you realised?" He asked calmly.
Jack nodded, unsure and wary of Daniel's mild reaction.
Daniel lifted one slender, long-fingered hand and gently wiped away the tears on Jack's face. "Is this 'I love you', which as your best friend I already knew that, Jack. or is it 'I'm *in love* with you'?" Daniel asked softly, still calm.
"Uhh." Jack coughed. What the hell, Daniel wasn't hitting him or yelling at him. He didn't seem upset or put out or angry or disgusted. Go for broke! "I'm in love with you, Daniel."
Daniel's beautiful smile bloomed, only this particular smile was one Jack had never seen before. It was sweet and tender, passionate and hungry, devoted and adoring. Daniel's hand splayed across Jack's cheek, lightly as butterfly wings, a tentative touch that spoke silent volumes.
"That's good, 'cause I'm in love with you, too, Jack." Daniel told him, that smile - a smile Jack realised, with rush of pure emotion, was for him and him alone - still curving his lips.
"Whaa? Y..you are?!" Jack sputtered. "But.but.*how*.*when*?!"
Daniel shook his head at him, those sapphire-hued eyes gently amused. "Forever, Jack. I've loved you forever, but it took me awhile to realise it."
"When?!" Jack demanded, thinking of all the time they had lost. If only he had realised his true feelings sooner, and had known Daniel's.
"I think I first really knew how I felt for you was.when you ordered and pleaded for me to push the button and blow you and Teal'c and that sub to Kingdom Come. I felt my heart shatter - and then I saw the Asgard transporter and. it was like all the light in the world bloomed inside me. I knew you were alive, up on Thor's ship, and I couldn't even get those words out because of the joy that was inside of me. I love you, Jack."
"Daniel." A smile tugged at Jack's mouth, and his fingertips skimmed lightly over Daniel's jaw, dark eyes lit from within with luminous exultation and love. "I love you, Daniel. I love you *so* damned much."
"Je t'adore." Daniel murmured - and caught Jack's slight intake of breath. "Suki da. Ai shiteru. Ich liebe dich." His smile was heated, and amused at Jack's reaction. It seemed that telling the colonel he loved him in different languages turned said colonel on. "Tora dost daram. Ti amo. Ya tyebya lyublyu. Te deseo. Naku penda Jack. Wo ai ni. Ego Amo te. Amin mela lle."
Jack's eyebrow quirked upwards and he stared incredulously at Daniel. "Uh, Danny, did you just tell me you love me in Tolkien's version of *Elven*?!"
Daniel nodded serenely, and Jack burst out laughing.
"Oh, Danny Darlin', you need to get out more!" The older man gasped out between chuckles.
Daniel shrugged, fingers burying themselves in the short, silky, silver- grey hair at Jack's nape. "You're the one who gave me every book Tolkien ever published for Christmas last year." He murmured in Jack's ear, pausing there to delicately run the tip of his tongue along the curve of Jack's ear.
The colonel groaned sharply at the caress, wrapping his arms tightly around Daniel and hauling the younger man onto his lap. "That's cause I didn't want to give you science fiction. I figured you could use a change from our everyday life." He breathed against Daniel's cheek, trailing feather- light kisses over the smooth skin, roughened slightly by gold-brown stubble. "Knowing you, you remember more Elven than that. You always remember useless stuff like that."
Daniel nodded, then began trailing his own kisses along Jack's scruffy cheek. "Do you, Jack? And its not *all* useless." At Jack's shrug, Daniel chuckled. "Amin anatalle. Amin mernalle, a'maelamin." Daniel purred.
Jack paused in his soft kisses. "Uh.lemme think.Oh!" Jack's voice dropped a notch, becoming husky. "'I need you'. 'I want you.' uh.um.Ah! 'I want you, beloved.'" He grinned as he remembered then tilted Daniel's head up so he could stare into those beautiful eyes. Those beautiful eyes were more black than blue right now, the desire-dilated pupils nearly swallowing up the azure irises. 'Daniel, God, I want you!"
"You have me, Jack. You always have."
Daniel found himself swiftly on his back, Jack on top of him.
"Daniel." He breathed, "Stay with me tonight?" He dipped his head and captured the linguist's lips before he could answer. The kiss started out tender and loving, and ended up passionate and wild.
"Jaa-ack." Daniel gasped out, trying to remember how to breathe and deeply regretting anything that took Jack's mouth from his, like his annoying need for oxygen. "I'll stay with you forever."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~The End~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sorry about the Tolkien Elven. I'm a massive Tolkien fan and I, uh, watched 'The Lord of the Rings' a bunch of times when it was in theatre, and, well, I was reading the books for the millionth time when I wrote this. It kinda just slipped in there. I, of course, don't own anything to do with Tolkien's books and ideas. They, like SG-1, belongs to their respective owners, and are used without permission and only for enjoyment and not for profit.
The languages Daniel tells Jack he loves him in:
Je t'adore - 'I love you' in French.
Suki da - 'I like/love you' in Japanese.
Ai shiteru - 'I love you' (madly, deeply, passionately, eternally; the 'soulmate, death will never part us' sort of love.) Japanese again.
Ich liebe dich - 'I love you' in German
Tora dost daram - 'I love you' in Farsi
Ti amo - 'I love you' in Italian
Ya tyebya lyublyu - 'I love you' in Russian
Te deseo - 'I desire you' in Spanish
Naku penda - "I love you' in Swahili (always followed by person's name)
Wo ai ni - 'I love you' in Chinese (Mandarin)
Ego Amo te - Latin (old)
Amin mela lle - 'I love you' in Sindarin Elven (J.R.R. Tolkien)
Author: Marie Whi Mitshue
Pairing: Jackson/O'Neill
Type: Male/male Slash
Rating: R - some blood, some angst, a little m/m action, but not much
Archive: You may, just *ask* first, please.
Feedback: kumiko_chan@gundamwing.net
Summary: Jack has a dream of Daniel dying. This dream of Daniel's death is just one thing too many for him to take and it forces him to confront what he really feels for his best friend.
Disclaimer: They do not belong to me at all, in any way, shape or form. If they did, Daniel Jackson would still be on the show, and him and Jack would be together, baby!
Author's Notes (also known as Marie's Ramblings): WAAAHHHHH!!! I MISS DANIEL!!!! Want him back!!! (pouts, sobs and rants abound here. Please pay no attention the sulking author ranting in the corner)
Oh, and Master Sergeant Walter Cape is the white-haired, glasses-wearing tech who has been sitting in the control room for 5 years, and not *once* has anyone called him by name. EXCEPT in the episode "2010" when he was a tour guide at the SGC museum and Jack called him 'Walter'. My friend, Red, and me nicknamed him "The Chad" 'cause he had no name. And the last name 'Cape' is the best we could guess, 'cause we could never get a clear shot of his nametag. Sorry, but we obsessed over this poor guy one caffeine- filled, sleep-deprived night, wondering *why* no one ever called him by name, considering he's been there since the very first episode! Are we nuts or what!! (If anyone actually KNOWS this character's name, email me and put me out of my misery!)
This fic probably ain't so good. Abject apologies are extended to all. (NOT!) I'm not certain if I've made Jack Out-Of-Character, or just pushed him far enough for him to realise the truth - THAT HE LOVES DANIEL!!! They are just so.*right* together, ya know?
ANYway, I'm into my own season 5 and 6. As far as *I'm* concerned, 'Meridian' bloody well never happened!!!! (ARRGGGHHH!!!) Daniel, I miss you!!! (sigh)
*emphasis* (the more **, the greater the emphasis)
2IC means Second In Command (just in case ya didn't know)
Sorry for the big ass author's note! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"SG-1 report to the Control Room! Repeat, SG-1, report to the Control Room immediately!"
Master Sergeant Cape's urgent voice thundered over the general intercom, echoing all over the base, a fraction of a second before the alarms and red lights go off.
Colonel Jack O'Neill jumped about a foot in the air, the spoonful of chicken noodle soup heading for his mouth splattering onto the tablecloth instead as he spun. The spoon dropped to the floor with a metallic clink as the greying officer hared out of the Commissary like a bunny on speed.
He nearly slammed into Major Samantha Carter as he rounded the corner near her lab. His hand shot out to steady the blonde, even as her hand shot out to steady him. They exchanged worried looks, but kept running. They met Teal'c as they clattered up the metal steps to the Control Room. The massive, dark-skinned Jaffa's brow was furrowed with concern beneath the golden Serpent tattoo that marked him as former First Prime of Apophis.
The three stopped beside General George Hammond, glancing out at the main area of the Stargate Room - otherwise officially known as the Embarkation Room. The Iris was closed, the back of the room behind the 'Gate awash with the faint, dancing, silvery-blue reflections of an active wormhole.
"Sir -" O'Neill began, but Cape, at his station in front of the computers, called out.
"It's SG-11's IDC, sir."
"Open the Iris. Get a medical team down here." Hammond ordered, glancing worriedly at three of the four members of SG-1. He didn't have to say anything: Dr. Daniel Jackson, SG-1's final member, had gone on an archaeological dig mission to P2E-774 with SG-11 and several civilian scientists - and SG-11 had just dialled home, and they weren't due back for four more days. That meant Trouble.
O'Neill, Teal'c, Carter and Hammond hurried down the stairs, footsteps clattering noisily, and shot into the 'Gate Room, just as SG-11 came falling through the Stargate, bloody, dirty, weapons still at the ready.
SG-1 waited anxiously, helping a stumbling man here, steadying another here, all the while watching that circle of rippling silver-blue, watching for the familiar figure of Daniel Jackson.
Lieutenant Montoya, SG-11's 2IC came last through the 'Gate, a limp form sprawled across his shoulders in a fireman's carry.
"Lock it up!" Montoya screamed, stumbling down the ramp. The Iris closed behind him, and impacts were heard as who - or what - ever had attacked them tried to follow and ended up going bugsquat on the iris.
O'Neill froze as he saw the familiar head - gold-touched, short brown hair hidden beneath an olive-green bandanna - slumped against Montoya's shoulder. The muscular Marine was awash with blood, and as he lifted the limp, heavy body of Daniel Jackson off his shoulders and laid him gently on the floor, it became evident that the blood was all *Daniel's*. Daniel's wire-framed glasses were missing, and blood splattered up one cheek and across his neck, eyes closed, face deathly pale. His torso was a swirl of scarlet, olive green and black cloth, torn muscle and tissue, and the white glint of shattered bone, his arms and legs gashed and slashed, uniform sleeves and legs ripped, torn and tattered, stained red with blood. Somehow, his face had escaped injury.
O'Neill's paralysis broke at the sight and he found himself kneeling at Daniel's side, Carter, Teal'c and Hammond around him.
"DANIEL!" He cried, and, across the room, Dr. Janet Frasier looked up from a Marine's torn knee. Her face paled at the sight of the linguist's broken body, and waved another medic over to deal with the Marine, rising to pick her way across the room.
Montoya's face was grief-stricken, tears pouring unchecked down his face.
"He's dead, he's *dead*. We found him at the dig site like this, and then all hell broke loose. These.these *things* out of a nightmare, all teeth and claws and horrible eyes, swarmed out of the ground and attacked us! We didn't know there was any danger! They'd been there for a week, and nothing had happened before! We let Dr. Jackson stay the night by himself at the dig, he knows procedure, he can fight, he can shoot! Trusted him to know more about threats than one of the scientists, even though there didn't seem to be *any* threat. Thought he would be safe. *I* let him stay there.Oh, God, Daniel's dead, *Daniel*, and it's all *my* fault."
"No." O'Neill found his hands on Daniel's bloodied, arched throat, searching for a pulse. "Daniel! DANNY! Come on, DannyBoy, don't do this to me! DANIEL!!!"
No pulse, no breath, and his body was only faintly warm.
The room had fallen silent, the medics and soldiers alike stunned at the possibility of Dr. Jackson actually being *dead*. As in not coming back, permanently deceased, 'folded flag and funeral time' dead. Daniel had died and come back so many times he had earned the nickname of the Resurrection Specialist, the Come Back King. The SGC believed three things about SG-1: they could do the *impossible*; they'd save the world *every* time; and Daniel *couldn't* die.
"No." Carter was crying, hanging on to a grim-faced Teal'c for support.
O'Neill's hands framed Daniel's face, as Frasier gently pushed Montoya out of the way, the lieutenant still crying and stammering. She knew at one look that there was nothing she could do, Daniel's body had been savaged too badly. He wasn't coming back from death this time.
"Daniel, please, come on, Space Monkey, *please*, you can't do this to me, Danny, wake UP!!" O'Neill pleaded brokenly, unaware of the tears sliding down his cheeks. "Danny, Daniel, Daniel . *PLEASE*.come on."
"He's gone, son." Hammond said gently, eyes wet and anguished.
"NO!" O'Neill shouted, shrugging the general's hand off his shoulder violently. "He CAN'T.DANIEL, OPEN YOUR EYES!!!" O'Neill found his arms wrapped around the body of his best friend, hugging him tight to him. Daniel's arms dangled, loosely curled fingers brushing the floor, and his blood soaked the colonel's clothes. One hand cradled the back of Daniel's head, and O'Neill's face was pressed against Daniel's cheek and bandanna- covered hair. "Daniel, please, Daniel, *please*, Daniel, NO, GOD, this can't be happening, Daniel, you can't die on me, you can't leave me, *PLEASE*, what am I supposed to do without you?! You can't do this to me! **DANIEL!!!!**"
~~((((~~
Jack O'Neill jerked awake, his anguished, terrified shout echoing in his darkened bedroom. The USAF officer bolted upright, hand nearly knocking over the bedside lamp in his haste to turn it on. Light bloomed as his shaking fingers found the switch. The large, bright green numbers of his alarm clock blinked at him from the nightstand: 3:49 AM.
"God."
That had been some nightmare, vividly real, completely, overwhelmingly real. He could still feel the limp, heavy weight of Daniel's body in his arms, the clammy feel of his own uniform as Daniel's blood soaked it, the rough/soft feel of Daniel's bandanna and Daniel's cooling skin against his cheek as he cradled Daniel's mangled body close. He could still feel it.like it had been *real*, and *not* a nightmare.
His heart was hammering, cold sweat beaded his forehead and upper lip, and his stomach was roiling with terror, nausea, grief, and horror. Despair so thick he could almost taste it was refusing to fade away, his mind refusing to accept that it had only been a dream.
"Daniel." He couldn't be dead.could he? He was safe, sleeping right now in his loft apartment.wasn't he?
O'Neill found the phone in his hand, holding it to his ear, rings going through, with absolutely no memory of dialling. The rings went on and on, and his grip tightened so much on the cordless phone that the plastic creaked and groaned. Then, finally, the ringing stopped, replaced by an open line.
"'Ello?" Daniel's sleep-soft voice murmured, barely awake. "Hello?"
"Daniel." O'Neill rasped out in a trembling, hoarse voice, relief cutting through him like a hot knife through butter. But the horrible fear and grief and despair didn't diminish in the slightest.
"Jack?" Daniel's voice was suddenly more alert, concern and alarm audible in his voice. "Jack, is that you? It's four in the morning." He paused, and when he spoke again his voice was even more worried. "What's wrong?"
"D..Daniel.I." O'Neill found tears sliding silently down his face, unable to finish his sentence. Disbelief choked him. What if he was dreaming this and the other was reality? What if *this* was the dream and Daniel's death the *truth*?
"Jack?!" Daniel's voice was sharp with worry. "Jack?!? Are you at home or on the base?" Silence, for a second, broken only by the quivering, harsh, almost sobbing breathing of O'Neill, and then Daniel shouted at him, voice agitated and shaking. "Jack! ARE YOU HOME?!"
"Y..yeah.Daniel." A sob escaped him before he could stifle it, loud and ragged and frightened over the line.
"I'll be right there, Jack. Do you understand, I'm coming, I'll be *right there*, okay? Don't go anywhere. Whatever's wrong, we can handle it. Just stay there. *I'm coming*. *We* can handle *whatever* it is, all right?" Daniel's voice was scared beneath its forced veneer of calm, but utterly determined and sincere. "Jack? *Answer* me!"
"S.stay.here.you're.c..coming.*Daniel*." Jack managed to whisper back, voice ragged and heavy with emotion. Was this the dream? Would he wake to find Daniel dead? Daniel.dead. Was he really lying in the SGC morgue? Or was he already in the ground's indifferent embrace, alone and cold? Was this only a dream? Was Daniel's voice, scared, worried and firm, all a dream, a grieving figment of his mind?
"That's right. I'm hanging up Jack, and I'll be **right there**! Hold on, Jack." The line went silent, and then the harsh hum an unconnected line sounded in his ear.
Was this only in his mind? Was this just wishful thinking, grieving, self- deluding denial? Would he wait for Daniel, and wait and wait, only to finally awake to Daniel's absence? Would he wake to find that Daniel was gone? Would he wake from this and find Daniel's office empty, Daniel's loft empty, Daniel's things in boxes in his own living room? Would he wake to find another loved one buried, another headstone to stare at, another loss that would rip his soul out? He had almost lost Daniel, almost lost his best friend, so many times already! Would this be the time he lost him forever? Daniel meant so much to him.SO much. How could he go on if he had lost the one person who had brought him back to life? If it hadn't been for Daniel, after Charlie's death, he'd already be dead. The thought of Daniel's death cut just as deeply as Charlie's had. If Daniel was dead. Daniel had made him see life again after Charlie. Daniel had brought him out of the dark shadow and into the light.there would be no Daniel to help him this time. Daniel. if he was gone, there'd be no Daniel to bring him back into the light again, no Daniel to offer solace and comfort, unconditional friendship and caring.
O'Neill hugged the cordless phone to his chest, a solid, tangible link with Daniel, not even hearing the strident BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! as the phone objected to the open line. Tear still trickled down his face unchecked, unnoticed, as he cowered on the bed, lost in fear and dread.
How long he sat there, waiting fearfully, he didn't know. It could've been years or only minutes. Then, suddenly, he heard the street door slam open, then running footsteps thundered up his stairs. The bedroom door crashed open and Daniel stood there, breathing hard, dressed in a pair of navy-blue- striped pyjama pants, an ivory pullover sweater, and a battered, old pair of sneakers. His short, light brown hair was tousled and uncombed, glasses sliding low on his nose, and terrible fear was in his azure eyes.
"D..Daniel." Jack drank in the sight of him, unbelievingly, chocolate-dark eyes wide, still huddled in the middle of his bed, clutching the phone like a lifeline.
Daniel was beside him in an instant, kneeling on the bed, hands hovering worriedly, but uncertainly over him, not quite touching.
"Jack, what's wrong?"
"Daniel.you're alive." Jack breathed. Finally, *finally*, the horrible fear and grief and despair inside him began to ease, just a little.
"What?!" Daniel's brow furrowed, then he eased the phone from Jack's hands and hung it up in its cradle. "What do you mean, Jack?"
Jack reached out and pulled the startled, worried linguist into his arms. He curled himself around his best friend, burying his face against the hollow of Daniel's neck, hands fisting in the pale knit of Daniel's sweater. He breathed in raggedly, smelling the scent of Daniel's skin, his hair, and the lingering remnant of the cologne, feeling the warmth of Daniel's skin, the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed, the quiet thump-thump of his heart. He was undeniably alive. and the stark relief and soul-shaking exultation that ripped through him tore down every defence he had, and let him see just what he'd been hiding from himself and everybody else for all these years.
"Jack?!" Daniel squeaked. Then, as Jack's shaking sobs began, he wrapped his arms around the colonel, hugging him tight, whispering soothing nonsense into his ear, one hand stroking his T-shirt-clad back gently, the other cupping the back of Jack's head. Endearments and reassurances spoken in a dozen different languages spilled absently from his lips as he rocked gently, back and forth, trying to calm his friend, trying to bring some measure of comfort to him.
"Daniel.had a dream..thought.thought I'd lost you .*again*." Jack rasped out between sobs.
"Shh, Jack, you haven't lost me. I'm right here." Daniel whispered back, stroking the older man's back and head, fingers threading through the silver-grey hair.
Jack's head rose, gazing wonderingly at Daniel's face, and the younger man's breath caught at the mindless, terrible fear and immeasurably deep affection in those deep, dark eyes. Jack's hands slid up to cup Daniel's shoulders, clutching tightly. "I couldn't convince myself.that it was.a dream. I was *sure* you were gone this time... and I felt.so.so." Jack struggled for words, face flushed beneath the tears.
"It's all right, Jack. You don't have to -" Daniel said, but Jack interrupted him fiercely.
"YES! Yes, I do! You have to understand Daniel." He sucked in a breath. "It hit me." He paused to drag in a shaking breath. "Thinking I had lost you, that you were *dead* and there wasn't some miracle to bring you back this time.it hit me as hard as losing Charlie had."
Daniel inhaled sharply, stunned. But the colonel wasn't finished.
"All I could think was 'who would make me come back from the edge this time?' You saved my life, Daniel, you *saved me* after Charlie's death. I was ready to eat my own gun, ready to die on what was supposed to be a suicide mission, and you.just by being you, a caring, passionate, stubborn, earnest person.you brought me back into the light. And all I could see was myself standing in front of your gravestone, ready to eat my gun again. Willing to, wanting to die, if you weren't here.if you were truly dead, then.there was nothing left to live for."
"Jack." Daniel's breathed unsteadily, tears gathering in his sky-blue eyes.
"Shh, I *have* to tell you this, Daniel." One of Jack's hands rose, fingers curving around the side of Daniel's neck, thumb brushing lightly over Daniel's slightly stubbly jaw line. "There'd be no you to save me this time. There'd be no *you*! I realised in that instant.when I was drowning in despair and horror and grief and anguish.I realised, you mean *so* much to me, Daniel. Too much. If I were to lose you.God, Daniel, I realise now.Daniel, I. I.lo." Jack hesitated, staring at Daniel, unable to say the words, though the emotion was glowing in his eyes as incandescent as a sun.
Daniel stared back, stunned and overwhelmed. A single tear slid down his cheek, but his full lips curved in a shy smile. "You love me, Jack? Is that what you want to say? Is that what you realised?" He asked calmly.
Jack nodded, unsure and wary of Daniel's mild reaction.
Daniel lifted one slender, long-fingered hand and gently wiped away the tears on Jack's face. "Is this 'I love you', which as your best friend I already knew that, Jack. or is it 'I'm *in love* with you'?" Daniel asked softly, still calm.
"Uhh." Jack coughed. What the hell, Daniel wasn't hitting him or yelling at him. He didn't seem upset or put out or angry or disgusted. Go for broke! "I'm in love with you, Daniel."
Daniel's beautiful smile bloomed, only this particular smile was one Jack had never seen before. It was sweet and tender, passionate and hungry, devoted and adoring. Daniel's hand splayed across Jack's cheek, lightly as butterfly wings, a tentative touch that spoke silent volumes.
"That's good, 'cause I'm in love with you, too, Jack." Daniel told him, that smile - a smile Jack realised, with rush of pure emotion, was for him and him alone - still curving his lips.
"Whaa? Y..you are?!" Jack sputtered. "But.but.*how*.*when*?!"
Daniel shook his head at him, those sapphire-hued eyes gently amused. "Forever, Jack. I've loved you forever, but it took me awhile to realise it."
"When?!" Jack demanded, thinking of all the time they had lost. If only he had realised his true feelings sooner, and had known Daniel's.
"I think I first really knew how I felt for you was.when you ordered and pleaded for me to push the button and blow you and Teal'c and that sub to Kingdom Come. I felt my heart shatter - and then I saw the Asgard transporter and. it was like all the light in the world bloomed inside me. I knew you were alive, up on Thor's ship, and I couldn't even get those words out because of the joy that was inside of me. I love you, Jack."
"Daniel." A smile tugged at Jack's mouth, and his fingertips skimmed lightly over Daniel's jaw, dark eyes lit from within with luminous exultation and love. "I love you, Daniel. I love you *so* damned much."
"Je t'adore." Daniel murmured - and caught Jack's slight intake of breath. "Suki da. Ai shiteru. Ich liebe dich." His smile was heated, and amused at Jack's reaction. It seemed that telling the colonel he loved him in different languages turned said colonel on. "Tora dost daram. Ti amo. Ya tyebya lyublyu. Te deseo. Naku penda Jack. Wo ai ni. Ego Amo te. Amin mela lle."
Jack's eyebrow quirked upwards and he stared incredulously at Daniel. "Uh, Danny, did you just tell me you love me in Tolkien's version of *Elven*?!"
Daniel nodded serenely, and Jack burst out laughing.
"Oh, Danny Darlin', you need to get out more!" The older man gasped out between chuckles.
Daniel shrugged, fingers burying themselves in the short, silky, silver- grey hair at Jack's nape. "You're the one who gave me every book Tolkien ever published for Christmas last year." He murmured in Jack's ear, pausing there to delicately run the tip of his tongue along the curve of Jack's ear.
The colonel groaned sharply at the caress, wrapping his arms tightly around Daniel and hauling the younger man onto his lap. "That's cause I didn't want to give you science fiction. I figured you could use a change from our everyday life." He breathed against Daniel's cheek, trailing feather- light kisses over the smooth skin, roughened slightly by gold-brown stubble. "Knowing you, you remember more Elven than that. You always remember useless stuff like that."
Daniel nodded, then began trailing his own kisses along Jack's scruffy cheek. "Do you, Jack? And its not *all* useless." At Jack's shrug, Daniel chuckled. "Amin anatalle. Amin mernalle, a'maelamin." Daniel purred.
Jack paused in his soft kisses. "Uh.lemme think.Oh!" Jack's voice dropped a notch, becoming husky. "'I need you'. 'I want you.' uh.um.Ah! 'I want you, beloved.'" He grinned as he remembered then tilted Daniel's head up so he could stare into those beautiful eyes. Those beautiful eyes were more black than blue right now, the desire-dilated pupils nearly swallowing up the azure irises. 'Daniel, God, I want you!"
"You have me, Jack. You always have."
Daniel found himself swiftly on his back, Jack on top of him.
"Daniel." He breathed, "Stay with me tonight?" He dipped his head and captured the linguist's lips before he could answer. The kiss started out tender and loving, and ended up passionate and wild.
"Jaa-ack." Daniel gasped out, trying to remember how to breathe and deeply regretting anything that took Jack's mouth from his, like his annoying need for oxygen. "I'll stay with you forever."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~The End~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sorry about the Tolkien Elven. I'm a massive Tolkien fan and I, uh, watched 'The Lord of the Rings' a bunch of times when it was in theatre, and, well, I was reading the books for the millionth time when I wrote this. It kinda just slipped in there. I, of course, don't own anything to do with Tolkien's books and ideas. They, like SG-1, belongs to their respective owners, and are used without permission and only for enjoyment and not for profit.
The languages Daniel tells Jack he loves him in:
Je t'adore - 'I love you' in French.
Suki da - 'I like/love you' in Japanese.
Ai shiteru - 'I love you' (madly, deeply, passionately, eternally; the 'soulmate, death will never part us' sort of love.) Japanese again.
Ich liebe dich - 'I love you' in German
Tora dost daram - 'I love you' in Farsi
Ti amo - 'I love you' in Italian
Ya tyebya lyublyu - 'I love you' in Russian
Te deseo - 'I desire you' in Spanish
Naku penda - "I love you' in Swahili (always followed by person's name)
Wo ai ni - 'I love you' in Chinese (Mandarin)
Ego Amo te - Latin (old)
Amin mela lle - 'I love you' in Sindarin Elven (J.R.R. Tolkien)