"Someone Tell Me Why" By Marie Whi Mitshue
Author's Note: YAOI. Characters not mine, they do not belong to me, but whoever owns'em - but the bad poetry is mine. I know it's crap, but hey, when the munchkin muse in your head demands you write a fic with poetry, what can you do but obey?
1x2x1, kinda limey. or is it almost a lemon? Uh. well, you've been warned!
Enjoy, feedback is cool, flame me and I'll just roast marshmallows! And of course, laugh at you! Good reviews will earn you brownie points for your next life, and my thanks. Email me at kumiko_chan@gundamwing.net
//thoughts//
*emphasis* (the more **, the greater the emphasis)
/*/ My crappy poetry/*/
~~~
Duo Maxwell scowled down at the paper clutched in his hands as wet spots appeared on it, distorting the bitter poem he was writing. He scowled even more, the grimace looking odd on his usually smiling face, when he realized that the spots were teardrops from his own eyes.
He wrinkled the sheet of paper up, and chucked it at the wastebasket as he ran out of Quatre's study, fleeing for the sanctuary of his room, long braid trailing out behind him, where he could cry without getting caught.
He didn't see the wadded-up paper bounce off the edge of the basket and fall on the carpet, rolling a little ways.
Heero Yuy entered the safehouse - one of Quatre's untraceable holdings - and looked around for Duo. The Deathscythe pilot should have been out in the hanger to start the repairs on his gundam twenty minutes ago. That's where Quatre Raberba Winner, Trowa Barton and Chang Wufei were, each pilot working on his gundam. Well, actually, Trowa and Quatre were helping each other, but those two were close to being inseparable.
Quatre had mentioned seeing Duo in the study before he and Trowa had headed out, so that's where Heero went first.
"Duo?" He pushed open the door - empty. But there was a piece of crumpled paper on the floor. Heero picked it up to throw away, but the sight of Duo's handwriting stopped him. Slowly, feeling a prick of his oft-thought- gone conscience, he smoothed out the paper and read:
/*/Someone tell me why
I do the things that I don't wanna do Someone tell me why I can't stop loving you, The cold, abrupt, closed-mouth assassin with an obsession with his self-detonation switch, Who turned my world upside down Someone tell me why I'm not myself when I'm around you/*/
//What the hell?!// This was Duo's handwriting all right, and wet spots. wet spots that looked like. tear marks distorted some of the words. There was only one person here that Duo could - *would* - call a cold, abrupt, closed-mouth assassin with an obsession with his self-detonation switch.
Himself, Heero Yuy.
//NANI?!? Duo. loves.me?!?// His breath was coming faster, he felt like singing, felt like there was a whole troupe of singing birds chirping around his head, and he didn't know why. Cobalt eyes turned back to the crumpled paper and read on:
/*/All the sky I see is blue Matches my soul See, all I want is you Don't care about the rest But I know I'll never hold you in my arms, And feel your heart beat against my cheek Good thing I can hide behind the Joker's Mask Of giggles and grins Cause inside my heart is shattered, Held together by fragile tape made of melancholy Longing and hopeless desire/*/
"Oh, Duo." Heero whispered, throat unexplainably tight. He blinked, eyes unaccountably blurry and continued:
/*/Someone tell me why This is the way it is Faith sucks I believe.. I believe you'll never love me. I believe I'll die in bloody battle. I believe that you'd kill me if you knew the thoughts and dreams I harbor about you.
I believe that even if all of us survive this war. you'll end
up in *her* arms. not mine.//
"How do you know how'd I'd react, when *I* don't. HER arms. oh, God, Duo, you think I'd prefer. **Relena**?!?" The Queen of the World's name came out of his lips in a strangled, exasperated gasp.
/*/I'll end up alone, standing outside the unbreakable glass wall, looking in on your happiness until it makes me sick Until it makes me insane with envy and grief and jealousy Until I run from you and *her*, to die alone. As is fitting for Shinigami. no one loves Death, and Death'll always die alone. Someone tell me why It feels like I'm screaming in the middle of a crowd. and No one hears a sound/*/
".Duo." It was an anguished whisper.
/*/God, self-pity is choking me. God. now that makes me laugh. according to all the beliefs I'm supposed to believe in. loving you is wrong. Makes me laugh so bitterly. I'm already headed for hell,
Loving you is just one more tiny drop in the ocean of my
Sin Laugh at the irony. I fight for peace and goodness, I fight so *she* can heal the world and the Colonies. and *she's* gonna get the only thing I've ever really, truly wanted. Ever truly needed. you./*/
Heero's hands were shaking. He stared at them in disbelief. //Why. why are. my hands. shaking?//
/*/And I'm gonna get hellfire and brimstone for loving you. Well, I don't care! Loving you has made me whole. Loving you has taken my broken, hurting heart and healed it, Even if you don't know, Even though to you I am nothing more than a fighting partner, And a source of vast annoyance and irritation So, if I go to Hell for that. so be it. Someone tell me why Life is so damn cruel/*/
Heero could *feel* his friend's deep pain and caring and anguish as he read his poem. "Duo." It was beginning to sound like a pleading prayer, an anguished mantra.
/*/Loving you has made me a better person. surely God Can't punish me for that?/*/
"HOW?!?" Burst from Heero's lips. He sat with a thump on the carpet as the shaking in his hands spread to his knees. He pushed messy, dark brown bangs from his cobalt blue eyes. "All I've ever done is snap at you, or ignore you. or push you away. *How can you love me?* And just *how* can you loving such a *kono yarou* like me make you a better person?!?" The whisper was full of anguish and pain, and things he didn't understand. He was finding it hard to breathe past the sudden lump in his throat.
/*/Or. will He take you away from me? Kill you on some Damned easy mission the Perfect Soldier should have been Able to handle in his sleep? Nah, that would punish you as well. and you haven't any
Reason - at least not this sin on your soul - for Him to do that.
Now, if you *did* return my love, mind, heart, soul and. body.
Then maybe.
But you do not. You will not. *Ever*.
Someone tell me why
That thought rips up my insides and leaves me bleeding on
The floor./*/
"Duo." Duo's poem had laid his heart and soul bare to Heero, and Heero sat frozen on the floor, emotions he didn't understand whipsawing through him, making him shudder.
He smoothed the poem over and over, folding it up and tucking it in the pocket of his jeans. He forced his erratic breathing and racing pulse back to normal. Then he headed upstairs to find Duo.
Duo's door was shut. He tapped lightly on it, determined not to show he knew anything of Duo's poem, of his hidden love. He didn't have the right to return Duo's feelings. Duo deserved someone warm and open and full of life, like. Hilde. not some cold bastard who would probably end up dying soon in the middle of a losing battle, blown to Hell by his own self- detonation switch.
It would be better for Duo if he moved on, if he stopped loving Heero. Heero pretended that that thought didn't feel like a sword through the gut. //Come on, Yuy! What's the matter with you? You didn't feel this before ( a little voice whispered in the back of his mind, but you did. You just wouldn't admit it ), so why does it hurt so much now?!//
There was no answer, so Heero pushed the door open silently.
The sight that greeted Heero's eyes melted every resolve he had just made, made the heart everyone thought was stone shatter, made his eyes sting with unexpected tears.
Duo was curled up on the middle of his black-sheeted, black-blanketed bed, thick, hip-length chestnut braid falling over his shoulder, side and arm, weeping miserably into his hands. His sobs weren't loud, but they covered the little noise of Heero's movements.
Duo let out a little shriek as he was suddenly grabbed and pulled against something warm, solid and comforting. His head jerked up and his red- rimmed, violet eyes stared incredulously up at Heero's beautiful sculpted face, so close to his own.
"Duo. why are you crying?" Heero asked.
//And wonder of wonders,// Duo thought, flustered, his voice is. //soft. concerned.//
"Crying?!" Duo said, voice a little too high, "I'm not crying." He plastered a grin that he couldn't have made genuine if Deathscythe's future depended on it, well aware his face was wet with tears.
"Duo." The snap was back in Heero's voice.
Duo opened his mouth to deny it again, but froze, mouth hanging open, when the hands on his shoulders slid down his back and cuddled him up against Heero's firmly muscled torso. Duo felt his heart speed up, and closed his eyes. He melted against Heero, savoring the satiny feel of the warm skin bared by Heero's dark tank top against his cheek, the comforting, solid feel of Heero's muscled arms around him, the feel of Heero's soft breath ruffling his long chestnut bangs. He figured that any second Heero would snap out of whatever weird mood he was in and smack Duo, like he did ever time Duo tried to touch him.
//But *he* touched *you* this time,// his hopeful, self-tormenting heart whispered.
"I. read. your poem." Heero said slowly.
Duo's eyes snapped open and he stiffened in Heero's arms, breath caught in his throat, sure he was about to die. He flung himself out of Heero's embrace, trying to take refuge in indignant anger.
"You. you had no right!" He gasped, just waiting for Heero to rise from his calm, still position on the bed, waiting for Heero's face to twist in anger and disgust, waiting for Heero to kill him.
Heero looked up at him, face composed, cobalt eyes glittering with some indefinable emotion.
"I know I didn't. but I'm glad I did."
"Wh.huh?!?" Duo gaped. //Oh, great response, Maxwell!//
Heero's eyes lowered to the bed. "I told myself I wasn't going to say anything. just continue on as your. your cold-hearted friend. Then, maybe, you'd get over me and move on to someone who deserves such a warm, beautiful, loving person." His voice had faded to a whisper, and Duo gawked at him, sure he hadn't really heard what he had just heard.
//Heero just. just called me. beautiful.//
The Japanese boy continued on, eyes still locked on the black bedspread. "But to see you crying over me. I can't let you suffer like that."
"Heero." Duo gulped, certain that he was about to say, sorry, but I don't like you like that, but Heero continued on relentlessly.
"I don't know why you feel this way towards me, I *know* I've been nothing but mean to you. but you deserve to know how I feel about you."
Duo's shoulders hunched as if warding off a blow as Heero paused, just waiting for the brush-off that was sure to fall from Heero's lips.
Heero's mouth worked, but no words came out and the silence lengthened. Finally, face frustrated and exasperated, Heero rose from the bed. He stopped before Duo, who was breathing harshly, trying to build barriers around his heart in anticipation of the hurt about to come.
Apprehensive violet eyes met struggling cobalt ones.
"Duo. I. I." Heero tried again. His brows descended dangerously. "Shimatta." He growled.
Then Heero's hands were grabbing Duo's waist. He yanked him against him so hard that all of Duo's breath rushed out. He gulped for air, not quite scared, as one of Heero's hands slid up his braid to slip into the unbraided hair at the nape of his neck.
//What is Heero doing?! Getting ready to snap my neck?//
Then Heero tilted Duo's head up and his lips descended on Duo's in a hard, thorough, impassioned kiss.
Duo's mind shut off, and his eyes drifted shut. His hands rose to clutch at Heero, one hand clasping Heero's jeans-clad hip, and the other hand rising to settle on Heero's chest. He felt dizzy, giddy, and the world around them vanished. All he could feel was Heero's body pressed to his, Heero's mouth moving over his, Heero's fingers in his hair, the pressure of Heero's other hand curved around his waist.
Then the tip of Heero's tongue tentatively glided over Duo's bottom lip. He gasped and Heero sucked firmly on that full bottom lip, nipped at it lightly and Duo groaned. He opened his mouth to admit Heero's questing tongue when it traced a delicate line over that captured bottom lip. Heero's tongue teased his, then twined with his in a warm, wet sway, making both boys shudder.
The kiss ended, and both boys gasped for breath.
"And *that's* how I feel!" Heero murmured against Duo's cheek. He spread little kisses over Duo's cheek and chin and neck.
Duo moaned in his arms, pressing closer, and Heero was well aware of both of their state of arousal. But he couldn't seem to stop.
He yanked at the fastenings to Duo's shirt as he nibbled on Duo's neck. Heero's hand fumbled over the fastenings as the soft, delicate skin below Duo's ear distracted him. He yanked harder when the buttons refused to come undone, and Duo's shirt ripped open.
Duo gasped, but his hands eagerly reached up to help Heero yank his torn shirt off. Then his hands sank into Heero's thick, soft hair as the Wing pilot's mouth moved down his chest.
"Heero."
Heero took two quick steps backwards towards the bed and fell back, Duo atop him. He shifted his legs, breath hitching as Duo moved closer in the cradle of Heero's legs, thigh rubbing over Heero's jean-clad erection - just as Heero's thigh rubbed over Duo's trouser-clad erection. Both boys moaned, and Heero hauled Duo's head down for another hot, hard kiss.
Duo's hands scrabbled at Heero's tank top. Then Heero's hands rose and ripped his tank top off for him.
"Duo." Heero murmured against Duo's skin.
". *You are mine. Heero*." Duo breathed fiercely against Heero's chest. "**Mine**."
Heero tilted Duo's head up so that those desire-hazy, devoted violet depths met burning, intense cobalt, no less full of tender emotion, beneath the passion. "Hai, bishounen. oh, yes."
"I. I love you, Heero." Duo whispered.
Heero's answer was to pull him closer, mouth and hands moving over his body with urgent need.
The door opened without warning, Quatre coming in as it did, speaking.
"Did you find Du-" Quatre broke off as he saw them, half-naked and tangled together on the bed, and his mouth dropped open, face flaming red.
Duo and Heero froze, and then Heero's hand cupped the back of Duo's head, fingers sinking into his hair, and he turned Duo's face back down to his chest.
"Shut the door behind you, Quatre." Heero ordered in a hard voice.
Quatre did, mumbling, "Gomen, gomen! Oh, I didn't mean, gomen, I.!"
Duo's body was shaking, and Heero lifted his head from his chest to see what he was doing.
Duo was giggling.
"D.did you. see. Q's face?!!" He gasped out between chuckles.
"Hn." Heero grunted, turning his attention back to Duo's naked upper body.
"He..looked. so." Duo's giggles faded away as Heero's teeth nipped gently at his earlobe, and his eyes drifted shut. ".sur. prised." He gasped as Heero's hands slid down to cup his bottom. "Oooohhh.and."
"Do you *ever* shut up?" Heero whispered roughly in Duo's ear, one of his hands sliding beneath the waistband of Duo's pants to stroke over the curve of his hip.
"Ummmm.sometimes." He lowered his head to nibble at Heero's throat. ". ya just gotta know how to shut me up."
Heero rolled suddenly so Duo was pinned beneath him.
Duo moaned at the feel of Heero atop him, the press of his hard, muscled body, Heero's arousal pushing against his thigh through their pants.ooohhh.
"Oh. yeaaah, g..good way to do it." Duo breathed, then surrendered eagerly to Heero's urgent kiss.
~~~
Wufei and Trowa looked up from the bottom of the stairs as a red-faced, grinning Quatre came running down.
"Did you find them?" Wufei asked, one midnight-dark eyebrow raised.
Quatre nodded.
"Well, they coming or what?" For some reason, Trowa's question only made Quatre's cheeks redder.
"They.Heero and Duo.um, they're gonna be busy for a while." Quatre said.
"Why? What are they doing?' Wufei demanded.
Quatre couldn't resist. "Each other."
Trowa and Wufei stared at him, speechless.
"I'm serious." Quatre grinned. "They are in Duo's room, tangled together on Duo's bed, half-nak -"
"STOP!!" Wufei roared, one hand clapped to his nose, just in case his nosebleed tendency kicked in. "We got the picture."
Trowa merely quirked his one visible eyebrow. "I didn't think Heero liked Duo that way." He blinked his one visible emerald eye, the other hidden by a long sweep of light brown bangs. "I didn't think Heero liked Duo, period."
Quatre's memory showed him Heero beneath Duo, both boys naked from waist up, his hands moving over Duo's body, his mouth. Hmm. Quatre pulled his wandering mind back and firmly slapped a censor sticker over that memory.
"Trust me," He said emphatically, cheeks pinking again, "He more than *likes* Duo from what I saw."
~~~~~~~~~~
Duo Maxwell awoke with a yawn. He rolled over to smile lovingly at the boy of his dreams who was.
. not in the bed with him. Duo was alone in his bed.
He bolted upright, loose, tangled, chestnut hair falling around him, sliding over his skin. //Did. did I dream it all?!// He thought disbelievingly, crushing disappointment hovering over him.
No, there were the remains of his and Heero's shirts and boxers. K'so! He winced as he shifted, one hand moving to rub at his tender bottom. A dream couldn't have made him this sore! And a love bite was clearly visible on his flat belly, half covered by the sheet and the fall of his hair.
He blushed. then blinked, and pushed tousled bangs out of his eyes. //If I didn't dream it. where's Heero?//
Then the door to his room opened and Heero padded in on bare feet, wearing nothing but a pair of black silky boxers, little gold Tasmanian Devils plastered all over them. His hair was appealingly rumpled, and he too bore at least one love bite, this one on his chest. The edge of a second was just visible beneath the waistband of his boxers.
Duo smirked. They were his underwear. //Oh, yeah, I kinda tore Heero's boxers off.// His smirk widened.
Heero *smiled* at him and offered him the tray in his hands.
Duo tore his gaze from Heero's spectacular six-pack, to look at the tray. A red rose in a water glass, tea. and a chocolate croissant!
"Oh, Heero, yum!"
Heero slid the tray onto his lap, then flopped down on the bed and kissed him softly. His fingernail flicked at a folded piece of paper beside the teapot.
"Read that, Duo. I'm. I'm gonna get in the shower and go back to the hanger. I never did finish repairing Wing." Heero disappeared into Duo's bathroom.
Mouth crammed full of chocolate croissant, Duo picked up the paper and unfolded it, recognizing Heero's handwriting:
/*/I read your poem, only fair if you read one of mine. Heero.
I never understood emotion I never wanted it or needed it, Traveled through the world and my battles with My heart encased in stone and ice. Then. you came. I'll never forget my first sight of you. You had just shot me, in *her* defense, I looked up at you Standing there, gun raised, rock-steady, those Dazzling violet eyes and striking, heart-shaped face Shaded by a black cap. Even presented as my enemy. I wanted you. Right then, my heart thawed, the stone cracked. You opened my heart./*/
"Oh, Heero." Duo breathed.
/*/You have a kind and loving soul, one that hates what it Must do for peace. but you do it, For your integrity and stubbornness is equal to your kindness I sit and stare at you sometimes. Those bewitching eyes Lips so lush and full and passionate Look at you Kind eyes that can blaze with quick temper, Softened by that odd, offbeat sense of humor that Pops back up just as quickly. Look at you! Oh, your mouth! Firm, yet soft with feeling, quirky, with a decidedly Sensual tilt - oh, your mouth!/*/
Duo swallowed and fanned himself, getting undeniably warmer.
/*/I could worship your mouth with my own forever. Look at you. You are tenderness You are passion You are flame You are whimsical, wonderful, reckless, glorious, impulsive, splendid, brilliant, radiant, silly, noble, strong, impetuous, weird, enchanting, annoying, loud, wild, delightful. Intoxicating. You are yourself,
And that is more than enough./*/
"Oh, *Heero*." Duo rose from the bed, wiped at the happy, overwhelmed tears that leaked out, and carefully folded up Heero's poem. He put it gently in the nightstand drawer, right beside the only other thing he cherished - his cross.
Then he silently opened the bathroom door.
Heero was in the shower, naked, wet body barely visible through the blue- tinted curtain.
Duo threw it open and jumped inside. Heero started, then fell against the moist, tiled wall as Duo glomped onto him, the American's hands and mouth already moving over him with wild, hungry abandon.
Heero let his head fall back against the wall, eyes shut. Duo's mouth, hands and warm, wet skin sliding over him, and the hot water that joined the American in caressing the Japanese pilot's body, made his body respond instantly, had him gasping and moaning, all control shattered, that quickly.
"I love you, Heero." Duo whispered against his belly. then Duo's mouth was suddenly lower and Heero had to brace himself against the wall with his arms as his knees threatened to give out, every sensation in his body seemingly concentrated on Duo's hands and *mouth* and **tongue** moving over him.
".ai.. shi. teru. Duo.DUO!!" Heero moaned and gasped as his world came apart.
He sagged against the wall, panting, then looked down past the wet, dark bangs that fell soggily over his face - into Duo's self-satisfied, ecstatic grin.
Duo was immensely pleased with having made Heero lose control, and Heero had said he loved him!
Heero gave him a smoldering, sexy, little grin and reached for him, to return the favor.
******Owari*******
;0) hehhehehe! ;0) hope you enjoyed it!
DUO: (smirking) "I certainly did!"
HEERO: (scowling) "Do you have to tell the whole world?"
MARIE: (silly smile) "Well. yeah."
Author's Note: YAOI. Characters not mine, they do not belong to me, but whoever owns'em - but the bad poetry is mine. I know it's crap, but hey, when the munchkin muse in your head demands you write a fic with poetry, what can you do but obey?
1x2x1, kinda limey. or is it almost a lemon? Uh. well, you've been warned!
Enjoy, feedback is cool, flame me and I'll just roast marshmallows! And of course, laugh at you! Good reviews will earn you brownie points for your next life, and my thanks. Email me at kumiko_chan@gundamwing.net
//thoughts//
*emphasis* (the more **, the greater the emphasis)
/*/ My crappy poetry/*/
~~~
Duo Maxwell scowled down at the paper clutched in his hands as wet spots appeared on it, distorting the bitter poem he was writing. He scowled even more, the grimace looking odd on his usually smiling face, when he realized that the spots were teardrops from his own eyes.
He wrinkled the sheet of paper up, and chucked it at the wastebasket as he ran out of Quatre's study, fleeing for the sanctuary of his room, long braid trailing out behind him, where he could cry without getting caught.
He didn't see the wadded-up paper bounce off the edge of the basket and fall on the carpet, rolling a little ways.
Heero Yuy entered the safehouse - one of Quatre's untraceable holdings - and looked around for Duo. The Deathscythe pilot should have been out in the hanger to start the repairs on his gundam twenty minutes ago. That's where Quatre Raberba Winner, Trowa Barton and Chang Wufei were, each pilot working on his gundam. Well, actually, Trowa and Quatre were helping each other, but those two were close to being inseparable.
Quatre had mentioned seeing Duo in the study before he and Trowa had headed out, so that's where Heero went first.
"Duo?" He pushed open the door - empty. But there was a piece of crumpled paper on the floor. Heero picked it up to throw away, but the sight of Duo's handwriting stopped him. Slowly, feeling a prick of his oft-thought- gone conscience, he smoothed out the paper and read:
/*/Someone tell me why
I do the things that I don't wanna do Someone tell me why I can't stop loving you, The cold, abrupt, closed-mouth assassin with an obsession with his self-detonation switch, Who turned my world upside down Someone tell me why I'm not myself when I'm around you/*/
//What the hell?!// This was Duo's handwriting all right, and wet spots. wet spots that looked like. tear marks distorted some of the words. There was only one person here that Duo could - *would* - call a cold, abrupt, closed-mouth assassin with an obsession with his self-detonation switch.
Himself, Heero Yuy.
//NANI?!? Duo. loves.me?!?// His breath was coming faster, he felt like singing, felt like there was a whole troupe of singing birds chirping around his head, and he didn't know why. Cobalt eyes turned back to the crumpled paper and read on:
/*/All the sky I see is blue Matches my soul See, all I want is you Don't care about the rest But I know I'll never hold you in my arms, And feel your heart beat against my cheek Good thing I can hide behind the Joker's Mask Of giggles and grins Cause inside my heart is shattered, Held together by fragile tape made of melancholy Longing and hopeless desire/*/
"Oh, Duo." Heero whispered, throat unexplainably tight. He blinked, eyes unaccountably blurry and continued:
/*/Someone tell me why This is the way it is Faith sucks I believe.. I believe you'll never love me. I believe I'll die in bloody battle. I believe that you'd kill me if you knew the thoughts and dreams I harbor about you.
I believe that even if all of us survive this war. you'll end
up in *her* arms. not mine.//
"How do you know how'd I'd react, when *I* don't. HER arms. oh, God, Duo, you think I'd prefer. **Relena**?!?" The Queen of the World's name came out of his lips in a strangled, exasperated gasp.
/*/I'll end up alone, standing outside the unbreakable glass wall, looking in on your happiness until it makes me sick Until it makes me insane with envy and grief and jealousy Until I run from you and *her*, to die alone. As is fitting for Shinigami. no one loves Death, and Death'll always die alone. Someone tell me why It feels like I'm screaming in the middle of a crowd. and No one hears a sound/*/
".Duo." It was an anguished whisper.
/*/God, self-pity is choking me. God. now that makes me laugh. according to all the beliefs I'm supposed to believe in. loving you is wrong. Makes me laugh so bitterly. I'm already headed for hell,
Loving you is just one more tiny drop in the ocean of my
Sin Laugh at the irony. I fight for peace and goodness, I fight so *she* can heal the world and the Colonies. and *she's* gonna get the only thing I've ever really, truly wanted. Ever truly needed. you./*/
Heero's hands were shaking. He stared at them in disbelief. //Why. why are. my hands. shaking?//
/*/And I'm gonna get hellfire and brimstone for loving you. Well, I don't care! Loving you has made me whole. Loving you has taken my broken, hurting heart and healed it, Even if you don't know, Even though to you I am nothing more than a fighting partner, And a source of vast annoyance and irritation So, if I go to Hell for that. so be it. Someone tell me why Life is so damn cruel/*/
Heero could *feel* his friend's deep pain and caring and anguish as he read his poem. "Duo." It was beginning to sound like a pleading prayer, an anguished mantra.
/*/Loving you has made me a better person. surely God Can't punish me for that?/*/
"HOW?!?" Burst from Heero's lips. He sat with a thump on the carpet as the shaking in his hands spread to his knees. He pushed messy, dark brown bangs from his cobalt blue eyes. "All I've ever done is snap at you, or ignore you. or push you away. *How can you love me?* And just *how* can you loving such a *kono yarou* like me make you a better person?!?" The whisper was full of anguish and pain, and things he didn't understand. He was finding it hard to breathe past the sudden lump in his throat.
/*/Or. will He take you away from me? Kill you on some Damned easy mission the Perfect Soldier should have been Able to handle in his sleep? Nah, that would punish you as well. and you haven't any
Reason - at least not this sin on your soul - for Him to do that.
Now, if you *did* return my love, mind, heart, soul and. body.
Then maybe.
But you do not. You will not. *Ever*.
Someone tell me why
That thought rips up my insides and leaves me bleeding on
The floor./*/
"Duo." Duo's poem had laid his heart and soul bare to Heero, and Heero sat frozen on the floor, emotions he didn't understand whipsawing through him, making him shudder.
He smoothed the poem over and over, folding it up and tucking it in the pocket of his jeans. He forced his erratic breathing and racing pulse back to normal. Then he headed upstairs to find Duo.
Duo's door was shut. He tapped lightly on it, determined not to show he knew anything of Duo's poem, of his hidden love. He didn't have the right to return Duo's feelings. Duo deserved someone warm and open and full of life, like. Hilde. not some cold bastard who would probably end up dying soon in the middle of a losing battle, blown to Hell by his own self- detonation switch.
It would be better for Duo if he moved on, if he stopped loving Heero. Heero pretended that that thought didn't feel like a sword through the gut. //Come on, Yuy! What's the matter with you? You didn't feel this before ( a little voice whispered in the back of his mind, but you did. You just wouldn't admit it ), so why does it hurt so much now?!//
There was no answer, so Heero pushed the door open silently.
The sight that greeted Heero's eyes melted every resolve he had just made, made the heart everyone thought was stone shatter, made his eyes sting with unexpected tears.
Duo was curled up on the middle of his black-sheeted, black-blanketed bed, thick, hip-length chestnut braid falling over his shoulder, side and arm, weeping miserably into his hands. His sobs weren't loud, but they covered the little noise of Heero's movements.
Duo let out a little shriek as he was suddenly grabbed and pulled against something warm, solid and comforting. His head jerked up and his red- rimmed, violet eyes stared incredulously up at Heero's beautiful sculpted face, so close to his own.
"Duo. why are you crying?" Heero asked.
//And wonder of wonders,// Duo thought, flustered, his voice is. //soft. concerned.//
"Crying?!" Duo said, voice a little too high, "I'm not crying." He plastered a grin that he couldn't have made genuine if Deathscythe's future depended on it, well aware his face was wet with tears.
"Duo." The snap was back in Heero's voice.
Duo opened his mouth to deny it again, but froze, mouth hanging open, when the hands on his shoulders slid down his back and cuddled him up against Heero's firmly muscled torso. Duo felt his heart speed up, and closed his eyes. He melted against Heero, savoring the satiny feel of the warm skin bared by Heero's dark tank top against his cheek, the comforting, solid feel of Heero's muscled arms around him, the feel of Heero's soft breath ruffling his long chestnut bangs. He figured that any second Heero would snap out of whatever weird mood he was in and smack Duo, like he did ever time Duo tried to touch him.
//But *he* touched *you* this time,// his hopeful, self-tormenting heart whispered.
"I. read. your poem." Heero said slowly.
Duo's eyes snapped open and he stiffened in Heero's arms, breath caught in his throat, sure he was about to die. He flung himself out of Heero's embrace, trying to take refuge in indignant anger.
"You. you had no right!" He gasped, just waiting for Heero to rise from his calm, still position on the bed, waiting for Heero's face to twist in anger and disgust, waiting for Heero to kill him.
Heero looked up at him, face composed, cobalt eyes glittering with some indefinable emotion.
"I know I didn't. but I'm glad I did."
"Wh.huh?!?" Duo gaped. //Oh, great response, Maxwell!//
Heero's eyes lowered to the bed. "I told myself I wasn't going to say anything. just continue on as your. your cold-hearted friend. Then, maybe, you'd get over me and move on to someone who deserves such a warm, beautiful, loving person." His voice had faded to a whisper, and Duo gawked at him, sure he hadn't really heard what he had just heard.
//Heero just. just called me. beautiful.//
The Japanese boy continued on, eyes still locked on the black bedspread. "But to see you crying over me. I can't let you suffer like that."
"Heero." Duo gulped, certain that he was about to say, sorry, but I don't like you like that, but Heero continued on relentlessly.
"I don't know why you feel this way towards me, I *know* I've been nothing but mean to you. but you deserve to know how I feel about you."
Duo's shoulders hunched as if warding off a blow as Heero paused, just waiting for the brush-off that was sure to fall from Heero's lips.
Heero's mouth worked, but no words came out and the silence lengthened. Finally, face frustrated and exasperated, Heero rose from the bed. He stopped before Duo, who was breathing harshly, trying to build barriers around his heart in anticipation of the hurt about to come.
Apprehensive violet eyes met struggling cobalt ones.
"Duo. I. I." Heero tried again. His brows descended dangerously. "Shimatta." He growled.
Then Heero's hands were grabbing Duo's waist. He yanked him against him so hard that all of Duo's breath rushed out. He gulped for air, not quite scared, as one of Heero's hands slid up his braid to slip into the unbraided hair at the nape of his neck.
//What is Heero doing?! Getting ready to snap my neck?//
Then Heero tilted Duo's head up and his lips descended on Duo's in a hard, thorough, impassioned kiss.
Duo's mind shut off, and his eyes drifted shut. His hands rose to clutch at Heero, one hand clasping Heero's jeans-clad hip, and the other hand rising to settle on Heero's chest. He felt dizzy, giddy, and the world around them vanished. All he could feel was Heero's body pressed to his, Heero's mouth moving over his, Heero's fingers in his hair, the pressure of Heero's other hand curved around his waist.
Then the tip of Heero's tongue tentatively glided over Duo's bottom lip. He gasped and Heero sucked firmly on that full bottom lip, nipped at it lightly and Duo groaned. He opened his mouth to admit Heero's questing tongue when it traced a delicate line over that captured bottom lip. Heero's tongue teased his, then twined with his in a warm, wet sway, making both boys shudder.
The kiss ended, and both boys gasped for breath.
"And *that's* how I feel!" Heero murmured against Duo's cheek. He spread little kisses over Duo's cheek and chin and neck.
Duo moaned in his arms, pressing closer, and Heero was well aware of both of their state of arousal. But he couldn't seem to stop.
He yanked at the fastenings to Duo's shirt as he nibbled on Duo's neck. Heero's hand fumbled over the fastenings as the soft, delicate skin below Duo's ear distracted him. He yanked harder when the buttons refused to come undone, and Duo's shirt ripped open.
Duo gasped, but his hands eagerly reached up to help Heero yank his torn shirt off. Then his hands sank into Heero's thick, soft hair as the Wing pilot's mouth moved down his chest.
"Heero."
Heero took two quick steps backwards towards the bed and fell back, Duo atop him. He shifted his legs, breath hitching as Duo moved closer in the cradle of Heero's legs, thigh rubbing over Heero's jean-clad erection - just as Heero's thigh rubbed over Duo's trouser-clad erection. Both boys moaned, and Heero hauled Duo's head down for another hot, hard kiss.
Duo's hands scrabbled at Heero's tank top. Then Heero's hands rose and ripped his tank top off for him.
"Duo." Heero murmured against Duo's skin.
". *You are mine. Heero*." Duo breathed fiercely against Heero's chest. "**Mine**."
Heero tilted Duo's head up so that those desire-hazy, devoted violet depths met burning, intense cobalt, no less full of tender emotion, beneath the passion. "Hai, bishounen. oh, yes."
"I. I love you, Heero." Duo whispered.
Heero's answer was to pull him closer, mouth and hands moving over his body with urgent need.
The door opened without warning, Quatre coming in as it did, speaking.
"Did you find Du-" Quatre broke off as he saw them, half-naked and tangled together on the bed, and his mouth dropped open, face flaming red.
Duo and Heero froze, and then Heero's hand cupped the back of Duo's head, fingers sinking into his hair, and he turned Duo's face back down to his chest.
"Shut the door behind you, Quatre." Heero ordered in a hard voice.
Quatre did, mumbling, "Gomen, gomen! Oh, I didn't mean, gomen, I.!"
Duo's body was shaking, and Heero lifted his head from his chest to see what he was doing.
Duo was giggling.
"D.did you. see. Q's face?!!" He gasped out between chuckles.
"Hn." Heero grunted, turning his attention back to Duo's naked upper body.
"He..looked. so." Duo's giggles faded away as Heero's teeth nipped gently at his earlobe, and his eyes drifted shut. ".sur. prised." He gasped as Heero's hands slid down to cup his bottom. "Oooohhh.and."
"Do you *ever* shut up?" Heero whispered roughly in Duo's ear, one of his hands sliding beneath the waistband of Duo's pants to stroke over the curve of his hip.
"Ummmm.sometimes." He lowered his head to nibble at Heero's throat. ". ya just gotta know how to shut me up."
Heero rolled suddenly so Duo was pinned beneath him.
Duo moaned at the feel of Heero atop him, the press of his hard, muscled body, Heero's arousal pushing against his thigh through their pants.ooohhh.
"Oh. yeaaah, g..good way to do it." Duo breathed, then surrendered eagerly to Heero's urgent kiss.
~~~
Wufei and Trowa looked up from the bottom of the stairs as a red-faced, grinning Quatre came running down.
"Did you find them?" Wufei asked, one midnight-dark eyebrow raised.
Quatre nodded.
"Well, they coming or what?" For some reason, Trowa's question only made Quatre's cheeks redder.
"They.Heero and Duo.um, they're gonna be busy for a while." Quatre said.
"Why? What are they doing?' Wufei demanded.
Quatre couldn't resist. "Each other."
Trowa and Wufei stared at him, speechless.
"I'm serious." Quatre grinned. "They are in Duo's room, tangled together on Duo's bed, half-nak -"
"STOP!!" Wufei roared, one hand clapped to his nose, just in case his nosebleed tendency kicked in. "We got the picture."
Trowa merely quirked his one visible eyebrow. "I didn't think Heero liked Duo that way." He blinked his one visible emerald eye, the other hidden by a long sweep of light brown bangs. "I didn't think Heero liked Duo, period."
Quatre's memory showed him Heero beneath Duo, both boys naked from waist up, his hands moving over Duo's body, his mouth. Hmm. Quatre pulled his wandering mind back and firmly slapped a censor sticker over that memory.
"Trust me," He said emphatically, cheeks pinking again, "He more than *likes* Duo from what I saw."
~~~~~~~~~~
Duo Maxwell awoke with a yawn. He rolled over to smile lovingly at the boy of his dreams who was.
. not in the bed with him. Duo was alone in his bed.
He bolted upright, loose, tangled, chestnut hair falling around him, sliding over his skin. //Did. did I dream it all?!// He thought disbelievingly, crushing disappointment hovering over him.
No, there were the remains of his and Heero's shirts and boxers. K'so! He winced as he shifted, one hand moving to rub at his tender bottom. A dream couldn't have made him this sore! And a love bite was clearly visible on his flat belly, half covered by the sheet and the fall of his hair.
He blushed. then blinked, and pushed tousled bangs out of his eyes. //If I didn't dream it. where's Heero?//
Then the door to his room opened and Heero padded in on bare feet, wearing nothing but a pair of black silky boxers, little gold Tasmanian Devils plastered all over them. His hair was appealingly rumpled, and he too bore at least one love bite, this one on his chest. The edge of a second was just visible beneath the waistband of his boxers.
Duo smirked. They were his underwear. //Oh, yeah, I kinda tore Heero's boxers off.// His smirk widened.
Heero *smiled* at him and offered him the tray in his hands.
Duo tore his gaze from Heero's spectacular six-pack, to look at the tray. A red rose in a water glass, tea. and a chocolate croissant!
"Oh, Heero, yum!"
Heero slid the tray onto his lap, then flopped down on the bed and kissed him softly. His fingernail flicked at a folded piece of paper beside the teapot.
"Read that, Duo. I'm. I'm gonna get in the shower and go back to the hanger. I never did finish repairing Wing." Heero disappeared into Duo's bathroom.
Mouth crammed full of chocolate croissant, Duo picked up the paper and unfolded it, recognizing Heero's handwriting:
/*/I read your poem, only fair if you read one of mine. Heero.
I never understood emotion I never wanted it or needed it, Traveled through the world and my battles with My heart encased in stone and ice. Then. you came. I'll never forget my first sight of you. You had just shot me, in *her* defense, I looked up at you Standing there, gun raised, rock-steady, those Dazzling violet eyes and striking, heart-shaped face Shaded by a black cap. Even presented as my enemy. I wanted you. Right then, my heart thawed, the stone cracked. You opened my heart./*/
"Oh, Heero." Duo breathed.
/*/You have a kind and loving soul, one that hates what it Must do for peace. but you do it, For your integrity and stubbornness is equal to your kindness I sit and stare at you sometimes. Those bewitching eyes Lips so lush and full and passionate Look at you Kind eyes that can blaze with quick temper, Softened by that odd, offbeat sense of humor that Pops back up just as quickly. Look at you! Oh, your mouth! Firm, yet soft with feeling, quirky, with a decidedly Sensual tilt - oh, your mouth!/*/
Duo swallowed and fanned himself, getting undeniably warmer.
/*/I could worship your mouth with my own forever. Look at you. You are tenderness You are passion You are flame You are whimsical, wonderful, reckless, glorious, impulsive, splendid, brilliant, radiant, silly, noble, strong, impetuous, weird, enchanting, annoying, loud, wild, delightful. Intoxicating. You are yourself,
And that is more than enough./*/
"Oh, *Heero*." Duo rose from the bed, wiped at the happy, overwhelmed tears that leaked out, and carefully folded up Heero's poem. He put it gently in the nightstand drawer, right beside the only other thing he cherished - his cross.
Then he silently opened the bathroom door.
Heero was in the shower, naked, wet body barely visible through the blue- tinted curtain.
Duo threw it open and jumped inside. Heero started, then fell against the moist, tiled wall as Duo glomped onto him, the American's hands and mouth already moving over him with wild, hungry abandon.
Heero let his head fall back against the wall, eyes shut. Duo's mouth, hands and warm, wet skin sliding over him, and the hot water that joined the American in caressing the Japanese pilot's body, made his body respond instantly, had him gasping and moaning, all control shattered, that quickly.
"I love you, Heero." Duo whispered against his belly. then Duo's mouth was suddenly lower and Heero had to brace himself against the wall with his arms as his knees threatened to give out, every sensation in his body seemingly concentrated on Duo's hands and *mouth* and **tongue** moving over him.
".ai.. shi. teru. Duo.DUO!!" Heero moaned and gasped as his world came apart.
He sagged against the wall, panting, then looked down past the wet, dark bangs that fell soggily over his face - into Duo's self-satisfied, ecstatic grin.
Duo was immensely pleased with having made Heero lose control, and Heero had said he loved him!
Heero gave him a smoldering, sexy, little grin and reached for him, to return the favor.
******Owari*******
;0) hehhehehe! ;0) hope you enjoyed it!
DUO: (smirking) "I certainly did!"
HEERO: (scowling) "Do you have to tell the whole world?"
MARIE: (silly smile) "Well. yeah."