No one bothers Mary until dinnertime. Mrs. Camden forces her to come downstairs and eat; telling her it will make her feel better. She sits there, silently, as everyone stares at her. They talk about things like the weather and test grades; avoiding the subject they really want to discuss. Mary finishes eating, then gets up and goes into the kitchen to clear her plate. They hear her finish, and then walk up the stairs.
"Now that she's gone, family pow wow." Annie says to the rest of the family. "Your sister is going through a very tough time right now. We are all going to try our best to give her her space, and not to bother her. Do not mention anything about babies our pregnancy or anything like that. We are going to be very kind to her, and give her time until she is ready to talk. You got it?" "Yes" all three of them answer in unison.
Mary is upstairs trying to think when she hears the phone ring. Any other day, and she would run to answer it. Today, she didn't care at all.
"Hello?"
"Reverend Camden? It's Wilson."
"Hi Wilson."
"How's Mary doing today?"
"Not so great."
"Oh, that's too bad. Can I talk to her?"
"Here's the thing Wilson. She's not talking to anyone at all. Maybe she'll want to talk to you, though. I'll ask her, hold on."
"Hello?"
"Hi Mary. Your dad said your not doing so well today. What's wrong?"
"You couldn't even imagine."
"Why aren't you talking to anyone?"
"Because I don't feel like talking about it."
"Ok…Look, I was thinking maybe I could stop by. Would that be ok?"
"Yeah, if you want to."
"I do. So I'll be there in 20 minutes, alright?"
"Ok."
"Bye."
Mary rolls over and tries to think how she's going to deal with Wilson trying to talk to her. I want him here, but I don't want him comforting me. Maybe- I don't know- maybe he'll offer me piece of mind. She stays there until she hears the doorbell ring, but even ten she doesn't bother to move. I hope they don't tell him before I get a chance to- not that I'm looking forward to it. Three minutes later, Wilson walks into the bedroom.
"Are you sleeping?"
She sits up. "No."
"Ok, good. How are you feeling today? Do you still feel sick?"
"It hurts really, really bad. I really just think its all the stress, though."
"You sure?"
"No. Hank said-"
"I completely forgot! How did your appointment go?"
Mary lies back down and rolls over so that Wilson cannot see her face.
"Mare? Something happened, didn't it?"
She nods.
He puts his hand on her back. "What's wrong?"
Mary sits up and looks him square in the eyes. "I-I…just hold me, please."
Wilson does as he is told. Mary cries for the first time all day. He tries to comfort her so that he can find out what happened. After she lets go of most of her grief, she dries her eyes.
"Wilson, I lost the baby."
"You what? Oh, Mare…"
He gets teary eyed as Mary continues to sob. They sit like that for a while, until Mary finally stops.
"I'm sorry. You didn't come here to watch me cry."
"Yes I did. If that's what you want to do then go ahead. "
"No, I have to stop now or else I'll cry forever."
"Ok. Do you want to talk about it?"
"No. You're great and everything, and I've shared so much with you, but this just seems too personal. And besides, I feel like you know everything I'm feeling without saying anything."
"You don't have to talk if you don't want to. I feel so bad for you. Is there anything I can do for you?"
"Not unless you can turn back time."
His heart goes out to Mary as he pulls her closer.
"Why were you in such a rush to come over?"
"I wanted to see you. I-I couldn't stop thinking about you all day."
"I was thinking about you, too, until…you know, I was really starting to get excited. I mean, from the beginning I was never upset that I was pregnant. I was upset that I was a single mom. Guess I don't have to worry about that anymore now do I?"
"Shh, you'll be OK. You'll get through this, I'll help you."
"Thanks. You know, I was thinking, maybe we could push up the date on thinking about us?"
"We'll see."
"Wilson, I'm not Billy. I know that's not an acceptable answer."
"You know that I care about you, but because I care about you, I don't want to rush anything."
"I know, I know, but just, you sitting here holding me, made me think about it. Today has been so hard, I need you."
"I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. I'll hold you whenever you want."
"I know; that's what I like about you. But, that kiss-"
"I liked it to."
"It kind of turned my whole world upside down."
"OK, I have an idea. Your birthday is in less than two weeks. We'll talk about it then."
Mary starts to laugh.
"What's so funny?"
"I was just thinking about you showing up with a bow on your head."
"Maybe I will."
Her smile fades from her face as she leans her head on his shoulder. He wraps his hand around her waist. Suddenly, Mary puts her hand on her lower stomach and leans forward. She takes a deep breath, and Wilson puts his hand on her back.
"Are you ok?"
"I don't know."
"What's wrong?"
"Really, really bad cramps. It's been like this for three days now." She winces again as tears stream down her face.
"Do you want me to do something? Get your parents?"
She nods and rolls over onto her side. She brings her knees to her chest, continuing to grab her stomach. Wilson runs out of the room and finds Mrs. Camden. He brings her upstairs into Mary room, telling her something's wrong with her.
"Mary? What's wrong?"
"Call Hank."
Eric, Annie, and Wilson are all at the hospital. Mary is being examined by Hank. All three of them look nervous. A nurse comes out to the waiting room and over to them.
"Are one of you Wilson?"
"That would be me."
"Usually we don't allow this, but Mary wants to see you. She said she wouldn't calm down until you come in, and she's pretty upset."
He looks over at Eric and Annie. "It's fine, go." Eric tells him.
Wilson gets up and follows the nurse to Mary. He sees her and walks over to her side. He can tell that she is scared and in a lot of pain.
"Hey, are you OK?"
"Better now that you're here."
"What's wrong with her?" he asks Hank.
"Well, it isn't anything life threatening, but its not great. There's what I think is a blood clot that seems to be stuck on something. That's what's causing her all the pain. Mary, I think we're going to do a CAT scan to see if I could cut this for you. Once you get rid of this you should feel a whole lot better. I'll go see if we can get you in there. Wilson, can you stay with her until I get back?"
"Sure."
Hank walks out the door and Wilson pulls up a chair next to Mary. He kisses her lightly on the forehead and she grabs his hand.
"Wilson, this hurts so bad."
"You'll be ok."
"No, I wont. That's part of my baby!"
She starts to cry and he brings her closer. She buries her head in his chest as he rubs her back. Please let her be OK.
"Shh…Shh…Its alright. You'll get through this."
Hank comes back into the room, and tells them that Mary can go get the CAT scan done now. Wilson gets up to leave, and whispers some encouraging words to her.
"Can't he stay?"
"I'm afraid he can't, sorry."
"I'll tell them your OK." He wipes away her tears with his hand, "Stop crying, for me?"
She sniffles, "OK."
Wilson walks into the waiting room, and back to Mary's parents.
"How is she?"
"Well, she isn't any worse, but she isn't any better. Hank said that there's a blood clot, but instead of just coming out like it should do, it's stuck on something. They're doing a CAT scan right now to see if they can cut it off, so that the pain will go away."
"Is that normal?"
"I don't know, I don't think so."
"How's she holding up?"
"Um…she'll be OK."
"We wanted to ask you, before we came, did she talk to you?"
"Yeah, she did. She cried a little but she wouldn't really tell me much, sorry. She said it was too personal."
"Wilson, will you watch her for us?" Annie asks, her eyes pleading. "She's just so distant. I don't know what's going on in that head of hers anymore, I can't even imagine."
Much later that night, Mary is at home trying to sleep, and talking with Lucy.
"Well, They…uh, removed the blood clot that was hurting me, and the rest of the baby, and now everything should be fine."
"Do you feel any better?"
"No. I feel empty."
"I can't believe it, still. These are like the worst things that could ever happen to anyone, all at one time. Is there anything I can do for you?"
"Well, actually, there is. I know that you're just trying to help me, and I appreciate that, but stop talking to me about it. I really don't want to bring it up. Maybe one day I will- I doubt it- but if I do you'll be the first person I come to."
"Even before Wilson?"
"Yes, even before Wilson."
"I'll stop bringing it up. I really am just trying to help."
"I know, but there is nothing you can do or say to make me feel any better. I just have to get through this on my own. We can talk about other stuff, if you want, just not that."
"OK, like what?"
"Have you ever been in love, like really in love?"
"Um…no, I don't think so."
"Well, if you were in love, how do you think you'd be able to tell?"
Lucy smiles. "Yes, you're in love and yes, he loves you back. I'm not stupid you know."
"Thanks Lucy. Good night."
"You're going to sleep now? It was just getting good!"
"Sorry, I'm really tired. I don't think I could keep my eyes open for a second longer. Do me a favor, though? Don't tell anyone that I said anything about that."
"I won't, don't worry."
"Good night."
"Night."
Mary gets up the morning and goes through her normal routine: breakfast, shower, homework, sleep, lunch, nap, homework, dinner. All day, she feels out of it, like she is going through the motions of her life, but not actually doing them. After dinner Wilson calls, and Mary speaks to someone for the first time all day.
"Hey. How are you feeling?"
"Better, but really out of it. I'm counting down the days until my birthday. 10 days after today. My parents are throwing some family party thing on Friday, to cheer me up. Personally, I don't know what there is to celebrate, but I've decided to humor them. I want you to come, you and Billy. Please say you'll come."
"We'll come, but are you sure its alright? You said it's a family party."
"You are practically family, you know that, and I don't think its really going to be that exclusive. Who did I scream for in the hospital last night? Not my mom or my dad, you."
"Why did you want me in there so bad?"
"I figured if I was dying I want you to be the last thing I see."
"You knew you weren't dying."
"I know. I was scared. I don't like showing my emotions to my family. I trust you, and I don't trust them, any of them. I don't like them to know too much about me, because I'm afraid that they'll use it against me and get mad at me, or something like that. I've been keeping a lot from them ever since I lost their trust. Everything I do isn't perfect, so I figure if they don't know about it they can't ground me for it, or hate me."
"They'll never hate you."
"My brothers and sisters, no, although Matt might. My parents, I mean I know they love me, but you didn't see them before. When I got into trouble, they- they've just been different ever since. Finally I got back enough of their trust to let me go out with Robbie, and then this happened. They never put the blame on anyone, so I know that they partially blame me. Now, I probably don't have any of their trust, no less than that, I have negative trust."
"I'm sure you're just over reacting. Besides, none of this was in any way your fault."
"Yes it was. I shouldn't have punched him, or gone out with him in the first place. God, I hate him."
"It wasn't like you knew this was going to happen. But it still wasn't your fault. If he was stupid enough to take advantage of a wonderful, gorgeous girl like you, than he really has problems."
"Thanks, but I'm not really that great."
"Yes you are. You know you'd have to be for me spend this much time with you."
Mary laughs, and so does Wilson. "I'm so lucky to have you. I always feel so much better when I talk to you."
"I'm glad, and I'm happy your feeling better."
"I'm not that much better, but better than I was an hour ago. I don't know what it is, you just give me a whole new outlook on life, like nothing can go wrong if I'm with you."
"Mare- 10 days OK? Slow down."
"Sorry, I can't help it."
"Don't be sorry, just take my advice. So, besides all that, how are you feeling about everything else? Do you want to talk yet?"
"Look, don't worry about me. I don't feel that bad. I have to admit, though, last night was traumatic. I got through it though, and I can get through the rest of this. I feel empty inside. Like this huge piece of me is missing and will never come back. I-I don't know. It's hard to separate my feelings about one specific thing, when I'm battling the feelings of everything, you know?"
"Yeah, I get it."
"But I'll be OK. And if I need your help, I know you're here. And you know I won't hesitate to ask for it."
"I know, but I'm worried about you. All of this stuff is just so awful. You're handling it all so well."
"No I'm not. I'm a wreck inside, believe me, I just don't feel like showing it. I don't think I have the energy to, either."
"Ok. You know I'm going to keep checking on you, though."
"I know. I like that though. It makes me feel like you care."
"I do care."
"Yeah, but it gives me a reminder."
"How are you holding up with your family?"
"Well, I'm not in need of rescue yet, but probably soon. It's really weird, though. They all kind of stopped talking to me. I don't know, maybe it'll get better."
"It will."
"It has to. It can't possibly get any worse."
"Are you going back to school tomorrow or Monday?"
"Hopefully tomorrow. You know, get to see some fresh faces, people who don't know everything that has happened to me in the past couple of days. And even if they do, I don't care anymore. 3 months, that's it. I can manage."
"That's the spirit. Keep it positive, everything will fall into place from there."
"I hope so, because I don't want to have to deal with it all."
"Then don't. Just let things be. And you know, it takes more energy to keep things bottled inside then to let them out. That wasn't an excuse to get you to talk to me, either. I just think that if you let everything out, you'd feel at least a little better. Not necessarily to me, but just in general."
"You might be right, but I don't want to. I'm not ready yet."
"I know, and I'm not rushing you. I'm just saying."
"OK."
"So what did you do today?"
"Nothing. Eat. Sleep. The usual. But tomorrow will be eventful, so…"
"Yeah."
"You know, I was thinking about not going and telling my principal what happened to me. I'm really not in the mood for a lecture, 'You're a wonderful girl. It's too bad. You have to take care of yourself…' ".
Wilson laughs. "You sound so fed up with everything, are you?"
"Yes. No. Its just the predictability of everyone, its annoying, yet comforting at the same time."
"Am I predictable?"
"Yup."
"Really? How?"
"Well, no matter what you're always going to be a nice guy, Mr. Responsible. That's a good thing, though. I like that you're such a great guy. That's the only word to describe you- great."
"Thank you. Well, let's see, if I had to describe you in one word, I'd use…hmm…goofleberg."
"What? What's a goofleberg?"
"It's a word I made up. There isn't a word to describe you; you're too unique. You're your own person, a free spirit."
Mary blushes, "Thanks."
"Your welcome."
"I got to go, Simon wants to call Deena. I'll call you tomorrow after school, if I go."
"Ok. Good luck. Remember, you don't need any of them; you at least have one person- Lucy. Three months, you'll live."
"I hope so. Bye."