I'm sorry this chapter took so long, I was king of busy. Please please please review! I haven't gotten any reviews in at least a week. Oh yeah, and I'm hoping to wrap up this story in 2 or 3 more chapters. I also have plans for a sequel. Enjoy!
Mary goes to school the next day, and notices people are looking at her differently. People she used to casually greet as she passed were now pointing at her and saying things behind her back. Three months, I can do this. Don't cry. You're okay. Remember; never let them see you sweat. Somehow, she talked herself through the day. And, with a little support from Lucy between classes, she got through it. Mary even started getting used to it all by the end of the day.
When school ended, she got her things and went over to Lucy's locker. There were a couple of people loitering in the hall. When they saw Mary pass by, they started whispering behind her back. Mary took a deep breath, and continued to walk over to Lucy.
"Luce, you ready to go?"
"Yeah, one second."
The hallway was quite, except for the sounds of that group of kids. Mary couldn't make out what they were saying, but she managed to pick up a few key words: dirty, slut, pregnant, horrible. Her eyes started to fill with tears, but she quickly blinked them away.
"Uh, can you hurry up?"
"Ok, sorry." Lucy turns around to face her sister. "Are you ok?"
Mary buries her head in her hands and starts to cry. Lucy puts her arms around her and Mary leans against her, falling victim to the emotions within her. Lucy looks over Mary's shoulder at the group of people feeding off the new information to add to their story.
"Don't let them get to you. What do they know?"
Mary wipes her eyes, and stands upright. Lucy closes her locker and they walk down the hallway. As they pass that group of kids, they make faces showing disgust towards Mary. Having had enough, Mary stands up for herself.
"I hope all of you are happy. You have no right to judge me! You have no idea what I have been through in the past week. I just wish that when something awful happens to you, someone tries to make you feel as awful as you just made me feel."
The two of them walk out to the car, and get in.
"I'm really proud of you."
"What? Why?"
"It took a lot of guts to stand up to those jerks. Even through everything you've been through, you're still yourself. I really admire you."
"Thanks Luce. That means a lot, really."
Sensing the tension, Lucy tries to turn the conversation to a lighter note. "So, how was the rest of your day? Was it all that eventful?"
"Well, it was pretty much like that, but without the screaming part."
"Did you talk to Ms. Russell?"
"No, I didn't want to. I didn't want to have to tell her about the baby."
"I understand."
"And I figured if I had to, I could always tell her on Monday."
"Yeah, I guess."
"So, do you have any plans for tonight?"
"Nope. Andrew Nayloss hasn't talked to me in days."
"Oh, sorry."
"Do you have any plans?"
"Well, I was hoping to see Wilson, but nothing's official."
"Ooh!"
"Luce, please. Oh my god, seven days!"
"Seven days until what?"
"Nothing, nothing."
Mary finishes picking everyone up and returns home. She avoids her parents' questions about her day and stays in her room. She tries to catch up on the work she has missed, but is distracted. All she can think about is Wilson.
After an afternoon of daydreaming, dinner is finally ready. Everyone is anxious to know how Mary's day was at school. "It was fine, no big deal. Everything's going to be OK." Lucy kicks Mary's leg, but Mary just kicks her back. Finally, they finish eating and Mary goes back upstairs. She hears the phone ring, and quickly answers it.
"Hello?"
"Hey. How was school?"
"Not that great but I guess it could have been worse."
"That's good."
"I guess."
"Look, um, if its OK with you, I was wondering if I could stop by tonight, just for a little bit."
"Sure, that'd be nice."
"Ok, so in about a half hour?"
"Fine. See you then."
"Bye."
Mary changes her clothes and awaits Wilson's arrival. The doorbell rings and she bolts down the stairs.
"Hi"
"Hey."
"I…um, brought something for you." He says, lifting the small, rectangular package in his hand. "I know it's not your birthday yet-"
"Seven days"
He smiles, "but I figured you could use this now."
He hands the gift to her, and she unwraps it carefully. Inside, she finds a diary.
"I wrote something in there for you. And I put the letter you wrote to me inside. I figured you might want to look back at it and remember how you were feeling when this all first happened. You can use it when you don't feel like talking to anyone."
Mary puts her arms around Wilson. "Thank you, really, this means a lot to me."
They go into the living room and sit down on the couch.
"So, can I read what you wrote now?"
"I would prefer if you didn't."
"C'mon, don't make me wait that long."
"Fine, if it's really that important to you."
Mary opens the diary and reads what Wilson has written. Her eyes get teary, but she wipes them away.
"That was really sweet. Thank you so much, I mean that from the bottom of my heart. I don't know how I could get through all of this without you."
"Thanks. It makes me feel better to know that I'm really helping you."
"You are."
"Good. So what happened at school?"
"Everyone was whispering behind my back all day. I tried to shrug it off, but when I went to get Lucy, this one group really got to me. I completely flipped out and started crying. Then I yelled at them and told them they have no right to judge me."
"You're right. They don't."
"I know."
"How's everything else going?"
"All right I guess. I'm just trying not to think of it. But there is one thing I can't get out of my head no matter how hard I try…"
"Which one?"
"I really don't want to talk about it."
"You sure? I know your already thinking about it."
"I'm sure."
Her eyes begin to glaze over and she gets a distant look in her face, almost as if she is in another world. Wilson notices this and pulls her close to him, leaning her head on his shoulder.
"Its ok. You're safe now. Nothing bad is going to happen, I got you."
Hearing him say this makes Mary feel better. She wipes away her tears and nuzzles into him, finding a comfortable position.
"Ok, time for a different subject. What's going on with your brothers and sisters?"
"I really don't know. I haven't talked to anyone besides you and Lucy in days."
"Oh, OK."
Mary gets very quiet, but finally speaks. "Wilson, can I ask you something?"
"Anything. Shoot."
"Is something actually dead if it is never born?"
"Um…well…I really don't know how to answer that. What do you think?"
"I'm not really sure, that's why I asked."
"Maybe your dad could answer that one."
"Probably, but I don't want to ask him. Then he'll start asking me all these questions and I don't want to talk about it with him. He has no idea what it's like for me."
"Well neither do I."
"Yes you do. You were in there with me in the hospital, you saw me."
"He saw you too, before and after."
"But when you were in there with me, I let a side of me out that I try so hard to keep inside. I let you see that I was scared and hurt. I trust you to keep that between us, and not make a big deal out of it. I don't trust him."
"Do you want to talk?"
"Yes, I do. I can sum it up in one sentence. I want my baby back."
"Remember when I said everything happens for a reason?"
"Yeah. Why did this happen?"
"Maybe God thought that you weren't ready to have a child."
"Why though? I think I'm ready."
"Your not even 18. You still have a lot of growing up to do."
"Well, so did you, and you were even younger than I am, but you still have Billy."
Wilson winces at the thought of those memories. "After all I went through, I grew up very quickly."
"So did I. That was the one good thing about all of this. Sure it would have been challenging, but I was ready and willing to tackle it. I wanted to be a mother. I still want to be a mother. Having my baby literally sucked out of me was nothing shy of horrific. That hurt so much to watch them do that, to literally feel my baby being taken away from me. What did I do wrong? Why didn't God want be to have this baby?"
Tears are streaming down her face and Wilson begins to get choked up as well, getting lost in the moment. "I don't know, Mare."
Reverend Camden walks into the living room and finds the two of them crying. "Is everything OK you two?"
"Yes." Mary answers instinctively.
"Actually, Reverend, could we talk to you?" Wilson asks. Mary looks up at him with betrayal in her eyes. He ignores her and proceeds to speak.
"I just wanted to ask you a question."
"Sure. I have some time."
"I wanted to know if God played any part in miscarriages."
"Well, uh, yes I believe he does. God has a role in everything. In this case though, sometimes I believe that God knows things that we ourselves cannot. He can tell if things are going to be difficult, or easy, or too tough for us to handle. God never likes to see us suffer, so I think that he might take actions that are better in the long run, for everyone involved. God might make a woman have a miscarriage because the baby is sick, or the mother is truly not ready to be a mother, or it just wasn't the right time."
"But what if the one good thing finally happening in someone's life was having this child, and it's taken away from her?" Mary asks her father, opening up to him for the first time in a week.
"Well, then the mother would just have to grieve, and lean on her friends and family for support until she can get over this."
"Dad, is something dead if it was never born?"
"Um, yes, because even though it wasn't born yet, it was still alive."
Mary starts to cry huge crocodile tears, and Eric doesn't know what to do.
"Thank you, Sir." Wilson tells him. Eric nods and leaves the room.
"I understand, but I don't want to. How can you be so attached to something you've only known about for a couple of days?"
"Easy."
"I-I"
"Shh…calm down. Shh."
Mary leans on Wilson and cries on his shoulder. They sit like that for 20 minutes until she finally pulls away from him. Both of them stare at each other, at a loss for words.
"I feel better now, really. Thanks."
"I'm glad."
"It does feel better to talk about it, a little. I think its just going to take time."
"You know, you might never get over this, but that's OK. No one is forcing you to, except for maybe yourself. Eventually, you'll just learn to deal with it though and get on with your life."
"I agree. Honestly, I don't think I am ever going to be able to get over this, all of this."
"That's fine. You don't have to."
"You know, I'm really lucky to have you. You make everything so much easier. Thank you."
"Its nothing. I hate to see you in this much pain. I'm just glad I could help you out."
"And thank you for the diary. I'll use it tonight."
"Your welcome."
"But, I hope that wasn't my only present." Mary smiles mischievously.
"One week Mare."
"Ok, just thought I might be able to change your mind."
"Nope." Mary pouts and Wilson smiles. "OK, I'm going to go now. You must be tired. Um, do you have any plans for tomorrow?"
"No, why?"
"Because I was wondering if you wanted to go for lunch with Billy and me."
"I would love to."
"Great. I'll pick you up at 11:30."
"Perfect."
They get up and walk towards the front door. They give each other a friendly good bye hug, and Wilson leaves. Mary goes upstairs and writes in her new diary, then goes to sleep. She awakes Saturday morning to the sounds of Lucy crying. She slowly opens her eyes and stares questioningly at her sister.
"Oh, your up. Good morning."
"Morning. Why are you crying?"
"I was just thinking about you; it's all so awful. It's not fair either. You're my big sister; nothing bad is supposed to happen to you."
Lucy dries her eyes with her sleeve. Mary sits ups and pats the bed, signaling for Lucy to sit down next to her. Lucy follows her instructions and sits. Mary throws her arms around her and tries her best to comfort her.
"Its OK Luce. I'll get through this; we'll get through this, as a family. It isn't the end of the world, believe me. I'm here with you now, I didn't get hurt, and eventually this will all just end up being a thing of the past. Don't think about it so much. There's nothing that you can do or could have done. Yes, it was awful, but it's all over now. Everything's going to be OK. It is, I promise."
"OK." Lucy sniffles. "The whole thing kind of makes me feel helpless though."
"I know. Me too. Crying isn't going to help though."
"I'm sorry. I must be making you feel worse. Are you ok?"
"Yes, I'm fine. I still need some time, but everything is all right."
"I love you."
"I love you too."