Here's another chapter. I'm so proud, Prongs said she liked it! Thank you, thank you, thank you! You already know this is slash, unless you have strange working PC which make ff.net jump to the second part of a story. To those unlucky people I'll repeat: this is slash. If Remus gets lucky it'll be Sirius\Remus, if he doesn't… well, poor thing will be alone. Or he'll find someone else? What d'you think?
Question of Circumstances
Chapter 2
"I can't see the point."
"What?"
"The point. You know? The ugly stuff you're always compelled to know? Especially at school, which I believe I'm in." Said Sirius shrugging. For the past few days James had no idea whether he should be crying or laughing. He felt more like crying.
"Sirius... damn it."
"With pleasure." Sirius was so... siriusish. Yet it was not him. As if someone else has taken the boy's body and mind. And that irritating kid that always tagged along. Strangely, the boy seemed to peeve a hell out of Moony, how and why was beyond James.
Well... he was nice, quiet, not getting in the way, always following Sirius' every wish. Should Sirius tell him to jump off the cliff, the kid would most certainly obey without a backward glance.
And Remus looked sometimes like he wanted Padfoot to do exactly that.
"Sirius, explain me again, why do you suddenly need a point to pull pranks ignoring the rules."
"I don't know. Call it a feeling."
"Shit, you've been doing it basicly from the day you arrived here!"
"Forgive me if I don't remember." 'Why is he so drastically changed?' Remus wondered. 'He said he doesn't remember. What the hell is going on here?'
"Look if it isn't the poor creature Sirius Black and his little toy." Malicious voice was heard.
"Bugger off, Malfoy."
"Shut up, Potter, I'm not talking to you."
"Malfoy?" Sirius asked. "Malfoy?" He said again his eyes flashing dangerously. He strode the corridor in two long steps and grabbed the pale boy by the collar. Crabbe and Goyle needed some time to get over the fact someone was choking their master before their very eyes, the idea was ridiculous. Not only to them, the Marauders also took their time to realize what was happening.
"Sirius… Sirius, please stop." Little boy pleaded softly. "Leave him." Deep sapphires locked at the boy. "You'll get in trouble. Please." After another while, and few hopeless coughs and soft cries from Lucius Malfoy, Sirius released the latter. The boy left obviously frightened. The couple watched after them, the taller boy furious, the shorter calm.
"You should have let me. It was their mistake." The taller said.
"No. It was not him."
"Uhm, Padfoot?" James asked. "What was that about?"
"Nothing." He answered shortly. "What you were saying about the pranks?"
***
Remus woke up. He couldn't sleep lately, he didn't know why. Everytime he slept he found himself praying. He couldn't remember what for. He got up and walked to the window. He's done lots of praying since he came here. At first he prayed to have some friends. After he found them he prayed they wouldn't know about his condition. Then that they wouldn't abandon him (the shortest of prayers, lasted about thirty seconds James gave Sirius for the drums), that his friends would be alright when they attempted becoming Animagi. He's been praying Sirius would still be his friend after Remus refused to become his lover.
What were his prayers about this night?
Short whimper caught his attention. Remus turned around slowly and hesistantly pulled the curtains of Sirius' bed aside. He breathed freely. It was only that kid. Not Sirius. 'What the hell I'm thinking?' he asked himself. 'It's a child, it should be comforted. Come on, Moony. Do something.'
"Hey, are you ok?" He asked finally. The boy turned his head startled. He turned half of his body to be exact, because the position he and Sirius were currently in forbid them to look behind their own back.
"Yeah." He whispered.
"So." Remus looked at the ceiling. "Why were you crying?"
"It doesn't matter. I had a nightmare."
"Oh. You... need help?" The older werewolf forced himself to ask the question he knew he had to ask. And immediately cursed himself for asking. Sirius was the kid's mate, Sirius was the one supposed to help.
But Sirius was sound asleep. It wouldn't be polite to interrupt his sleep. Damn him. He should help that kid. 'But you're the one awake. Come on Remus. Do *something*.'
"I'm fine." the kid whispered. "Really." Sirius mumbled something in his sleep. The boy glanced at the sleeping one and smiled softly. "He looks like a little child when he's asleep." He said. Remus was surprised that the words were directed towards him. He glanced at the sleeping boy and realized that was true. Sirius didn't take his troubles with him as he slept, that's why he probably never had nightmares. Remus suddenly realized he envied him. Nights that brought peace. Nights without nightmares.
Sirius was just lucky.
"You are sure everything's fine?" Remus asked again.
"Yes, don't worry." The boy smiled again and snuggled closer to the warm body beside him. The golden-eyed boy watched the couple for few seconds. Words were storming in his head.
(view into Remus Lupin's head: Sirius, werewolf, moon, Sirius, Kid, Shack, Sirius, James, Peter, Sirius, map, Padfoot, marauders, dogs, lycanthropy, Canis Major, Sirius)
'Why Sirius. Damn. Why am I thinking about Sirius the whole goddamn time. Why can't I think about anything else. Like: there's a full moon tomorrow night. I wonder how Sirius is going to take it. Damn.'
The boy watched the couple for few more seconds, then turned around and went to his own bed. He didn't have the chance to know what was making the kid unhappy.
~*~
"We're going to be there as soon as Pomfrey is out, don't worry."
"Should I? Werewolves are quite dangerous to humans, you should see how they treat someone they don't like. It's you who should be worried."
"Sirius… we're Animagi. And you're one as well." James said in a hushed voice.
"I know." Sirius stunned his friends. "What? I already said I remember everything I've been taught."
"Yeah… Well, see you." James said when the three werewolves exited the Gryffindor common room. "We're technically not needed anymore there, there three of them… and we can't go wandering with three werewolves alone. We'll have to just be there."
~*~
Three boys were sitting on the dusted floor of an old hut. Two of them were curled around each other. The other was doing his best not to look at them. They were waiting for the moon to rise and rid them of humanity.
But before the moon rose another two appeared. They joined the trio on the floor. Before the moon rose the newcomers turned into animals – the taller into a stag, the lower into a rat.
The smallest of the three burrowed his face in his companion's chest. He smiled and stroked child's back.
The moon rose.
###
I'm sitting on the floor in a Shrieking Shack as they… it was James I think, called it. It's full moon tonight; we'll be wolves in less then five minutes. I fear the change… I've only done it once, and it hurt so much. Or was it the bite that hurt? I can't remember now. About that change I can reckon only sharp teeth digging in my shoulder, I remember blood tripling down my chest.
I feel His heart beating. I love the rhythm. I could spend countless hours just listening to it. He feels so serene and he's so warm. He's much calmer than I am. Perhaps he doesn't want to worry me. Or maybe he really is calm. I feel like I've known him for years, but he still amazes me.
He breathes and glances at me. I smile – he smiles back. He is so beautiful when he smiles. He's beautiful whatever he does.
The moon is rising. I can feel her rays on my skin. Strangely, I feel no fear now. He is with me; I can still hear His heartbeat. It's quickening now. The change is upon us. My body starts to feel pain, but I no loger care.
###
Sirius had an urge to howl. Not at his own pain – his transformation lasted about ten seconds, and truth to be told it didn't hurt really. He was surprised, shreds of memories he had told him the change was long and painful. But when he looked at his fellow wolves he realized he was an exception. The two were writhing in agony.
Maybe it was all about him being a dog before becoming a wolf. That was why he had that urge to comfort ones that hurt. He hated seeing others in pain.
The stag watched the calm wolf half happy, half worried. His best friend didn't hurt. That was good news. His mate and his friend hurt. That was bad news. The stag knew what pain Sirius was going through right now. He had told him once; he couldn't stand seeing someone hurting. Not even his worst enemy.
Hell, he saw Sirius comforting Severus Snape when his mother died. That was in their fifth year and though he hated the other so much he made him go after a werewolf, that night he talked to him, he let him cry on his shoulder. And never mentioned it again.
The Change was done, and three werewolves were standing before each other. The stag sensed something disturbing in the air, something like hostility. He glanced at the wolfs – the golden eyed one was snarling dangerously. At the smallest one – which replied in the same fashion. They were about pouncing on each other when the third appeared between them – the darkest, nuzzled the smallest and made it lie down at his side. The he growled at the third.
The wolf looked at him suddenly lost. Finally he bowed his head and lay down. The stag breathed freely. The trio wanted to fall asleep it seemed. Most of them did.
Golden-eyed werewolf had an urge to howl.