Chapter 3: Nothing's Easy
"I am moved by your greatness my man", said Gerald as he and Arnold were watching Chocolate Boy dragging a heavy box down Vine Street as he was being watched closely by several campfire lasses. At each house, he would stop for a break as the lasses sold the candy.
"Yup", said Arnold. "Looks like I get a break today. Come on, let's go play baseball.
Arnold and Gerald ran to nearby Gerald Field, and saw a game was already in progress.
"Well, nice of you two to show up", sneered Helga. "You're late, so sit down on the bench till I need you!"
"Aww man, that could take hours", groaned Gerald.
"Maybe that'll teach you a lesson next time you have something better to do than show up at the right time for MY practice. All right, Harold, get your butt to the pitcher's mound!"
Arnold and Gerald sat down and continued talking about Chocolate Boy.
"He's really improved Gerald", said Arnold. "I can't explain why, but he seems more relaxed too. Like, something's on his mind other than chocolate."
As soon as Arnold had finished his sentence, one of the Campfire Lasses ran up onto the field.
"Get the heck out of here you!!", shouted Helga.
"What happened?", asked Arnold.
"We've been missing chocolate turtles!"
"What!! But... I thought..."
"You better hurry up before my friend kills him!"
Arnold got up to follow her.
"Where the heck do you think you're going Football Head!", screamed Helga.
"There's... something I have to do!"
Arnold ran after the campfire lass, leaving his astonished classmates behind. When he met up with the troop, they had him tied up to a lamp post. The only campfire lass that didn't look like she was about to rip his lungs out was... well, Campfire Lass, or whatever her name is.
"Stand back ye bloody barbarians!", shouted Campfire Lass. "Ahh... here comes Arnwald, ye better have a talk to this lad, and I'd especially like to know how in the name Wallace how he got into these boxes while we were watching him!"
Arnold came over and examined the box. On the bottom was a tiny hole, that apparently had been worked out over a period of several hours by the chocolate junkie.
"CHOCOLATE BOY!!!!", Arnold yelled. "What the heck am I going to do with you? I've tried everything, I took you to Overeater's Anonymous for god's sake! Have you been going to meetings!?!"
"No..."
"Well, why not!!!"
"Cause, they told me I never have to eat chocolate again, so why should I go?"
"You just STOLE chocolate from these people that were nice enough to give you a job that's basically going to save your life!!!"
Chocolate Boy started crying again. Arnold sighed, and sat down next to him. "So I'm guessing he can't work for you anymore?"
Most of the girls said no, except for Campfire Lass who said, "Well.... I'm forgiving, but I don't think the rest of the lasses are. We be needin reassurance that he not be stealin no more."
Arnold groaned, but he got an idea.
"Chocolate Boy, on the night I took you to the meeting, did you eat any chocolate?"
"No...", said chocolate boy. "I didn't eat chocolate until morning."
"Does going to the meeting make you not want to eat chocolate?"
"Maybe..., Arnold..., I didn't eat any chocolate yesterday either..."
"Why not?"
"I don't wanna tell you, it's embarrassing"
Arnold looked up at the girls and asked, "Can we have five minutes alone?"
They all either snickered or sighed, but they walked away.
"Ok Chocolate Boy, why didn't you want to eat chocolate yesterday?"
"Cause I was playing with Campfire Lass all day."
"Wha....", Arnold was shocked. "Does he like her like her or something", he thought to himself. "Naww... he's too small, but he's only a year younger than me... Well, either way, it seems that she can stop him from eating chocolate, it's something good."
"Ok Chocolate Boy... do you like Campfire Lass?"
"Hey, I'm not into girls man!"
"Calm down, its no big deal if you like a girl. I mean, be practical, if hanging around her stops you from eating chocolate, and you need to stop eating chocolate if you want to make enough money to pay of big Gino..."
Chocolate Boy looked angry, but his eyes widened at the sound of Gino's name. "Right, I stop eating chocolate, the girls let me make money, that's good!!"
"But I want you to go to those meetings too, or you'll just relapse again."
The campfire lasses were returning and Arnold went over to talk to... "Campfire Lass" in private.
"Do you like Chocolate Boy?"
Her face seemed to go red for a second and Arnold swore she was about to giggle, but her smile quickly turned into a sneer.
"What in the bloody hell are ye talking of! I nay like no lads, and ye better get that into yer thick skull Football Head!"
"Calm down, sheesh. Ok, but are you willing to hang around with him if it'll keep him off chocolate?"
She looked around for a second, then spoke, "All right, but ye better naught tell a soul about thees or I swear by de gods I will strike ye dead!"
"Ok, ok, now, I need you to take him to these meetings...", Arnold said as he handed her one of the pamphlets. "They help him stay off chocolate there."
She took the booklet and read it over. Without a word, she ran over to Chocolate, took him by the hand and started to lead him away. Some of the other lasses started laughing.
"HEY!!", he shouted. "What're you doing!"
"Calm yer arse down!"
"Hello, me name is Campfire Lass and I be here watching Chocolate Boy to be maken sure he be goin to 'is meetens!"
The occupants didn't laugh out loud. A few of the women giggled, but only at the apparent cuteness of the situation. "Ok", started the group leader. "But eventually, he's gonna have to come on his own, we don't want anyone forced to come."
"He does want to come, he as a one-dimensional mind though, if he starts thinking about chocolate, he'll go looking for chocolate, no matter what."
"But is it necessary for you to always follow him around?"
"For some weird reason, he stops thinkin about chocolate when I'm around."
The members couldn't help but laugh at this comment. Almost all of them made some mention to their friends, after the meeting, about the eight-year chocolate addict and his Scottish girlfriend.
"I am moved by your greatness my man", said Gerald as he and Arnold were watching Chocolate Boy dragging a heavy box down Vine Street as he was being watched closely by several campfire lasses. At each house, he would stop for a break as the lasses sold the candy.
"Yup", said Arnold. "Looks like I get a break today. Come on, let's go play baseball.
Arnold and Gerald ran to nearby Gerald Field, and saw a game was already in progress.
"Well, nice of you two to show up", sneered Helga. "You're late, so sit down on the bench till I need you!"
"Aww man, that could take hours", groaned Gerald.
"Maybe that'll teach you a lesson next time you have something better to do than show up at the right time for MY practice. All right, Harold, get your butt to the pitcher's mound!"
Arnold and Gerald sat down and continued talking about Chocolate Boy.
"He's really improved Gerald", said Arnold. "I can't explain why, but he seems more relaxed too. Like, something's on his mind other than chocolate."
As soon as Arnold had finished his sentence, one of the Campfire Lasses ran up onto the field.
"Get the heck out of here you!!", shouted Helga.
"What happened?", asked Arnold.
"We've been missing chocolate turtles!"
"What!! But... I thought..."
"You better hurry up before my friend kills him!"
Arnold got up to follow her.
"Where the heck do you think you're going Football Head!", screamed Helga.
"There's... something I have to do!"
Arnold ran after the campfire lass, leaving his astonished classmates behind. When he met up with the troop, they had him tied up to a lamp post. The only campfire lass that didn't look like she was about to rip his lungs out was... well, Campfire Lass, or whatever her name is.
"Stand back ye bloody barbarians!", shouted Campfire Lass. "Ahh... here comes Arnwald, ye better have a talk to this lad, and I'd especially like to know how in the name Wallace how he got into these boxes while we were watching him!"
Arnold came over and examined the box. On the bottom was a tiny hole, that apparently had been worked out over a period of several hours by the chocolate junkie.
"CHOCOLATE BOY!!!!", Arnold yelled. "What the heck am I going to do with you? I've tried everything, I took you to Overeater's Anonymous for god's sake! Have you been going to meetings!?!"
"No..."
"Well, why not!!!"
"Cause, they told me I never have to eat chocolate again, so why should I go?"
"You just STOLE chocolate from these people that were nice enough to give you a job that's basically going to save your life!!!"
Chocolate Boy started crying again. Arnold sighed, and sat down next to him. "So I'm guessing he can't work for you anymore?"
Most of the girls said no, except for Campfire Lass who said, "Well.... I'm forgiving, but I don't think the rest of the lasses are. We be needin reassurance that he not be stealin no more."
Arnold groaned, but he got an idea.
"Chocolate Boy, on the night I took you to the meeting, did you eat any chocolate?"
"No...", said chocolate boy. "I didn't eat chocolate until morning."
"Does going to the meeting make you not want to eat chocolate?"
"Maybe..., Arnold..., I didn't eat any chocolate yesterday either..."
"Why not?"
"I don't wanna tell you, it's embarrassing"
Arnold looked up at the girls and asked, "Can we have five minutes alone?"
They all either snickered or sighed, but they walked away.
"Ok Chocolate Boy, why didn't you want to eat chocolate yesterday?"
"Cause I was playing with Campfire Lass all day."
"Wha....", Arnold was shocked. "Does he like her like her or something", he thought to himself. "Naww... he's too small, but he's only a year younger than me... Well, either way, it seems that she can stop him from eating chocolate, it's something good."
"Ok Chocolate Boy... do you like Campfire Lass?"
"Hey, I'm not into girls man!"
"Calm down, its no big deal if you like a girl. I mean, be practical, if hanging around her stops you from eating chocolate, and you need to stop eating chocolate if you want to make enough money to pay of big Gino..."
Chocolate Boy looked angry, but his eyes widened at the sound of Gino's name. "Right, I stop eating chocolate, the girls let me make money, that's good!!"
"But I want you to go to those meetings too, or you'll just relapse again."
The campfire lasses were returning and Arnold went over to talk to... "Campfire Lass" in private.
"Do you like Chocolate Boy?"
Her face seemed to go red for a second and Arnold swore she was about to giggle, but her smile quickly turned into a sneer.
"What in the bloody hell are ye talking of! I nay like no lads, and ye better get that into yer thick skull Football Head!"
"Calm down, sheesh. Ok, but are you willing to hang around with him if it'll keep him off chocolate?"
She looked around for a second, then spoke, "All right, but ye better naught tell a soul about thees or I swear by de gods I will strike ye dead!"
"Ok, ok, now, I need you to take him to these meetings...", Arnold said as he handed her one of the pamphlets. "They help him stay off chocolate there."
She took the booklet and read it over. Without a word, she ran over to Chocolate, took him by the hand and started to lead him away. Some of the other lasses started laughing.
"HEY!!", he shouted. "What're you doing!"
"Calm yer arse down!"
"Hello, me name is Campfire Lass and I be here watching Chocolate Boy to be maken sure he be goin to 'is meetens!"
The occupants didn't laugh out loud. A few of the women giggled, but only at the apparent cuteness of the situation. "Ok", started the group leader. "But eventually, he's gonna have to come on his own, we don't want anyone forced to come."
"He does want to come, he as a one-dimensional mind though, if he starts thinking about chocolate, he'll go looking for chocolate, no matter what."
"But is it necessary for you to always follow him around?"
"For some weird reason, he stops thinkin about chocolate when I'm around."
The members couldn't help but laugh at this comment. Almost all of them made some mention to their friends, after the meeting, about the eight-year chocolate addict and his Scottish girlfriend.