Long, Ryuu, Dragon
By Wusai, the Dark Phantasy
Disclaimer: Don't own. T.T
Claimer: Wusai owns her ideas and her not so expensive, blue, green, and red Chinese silk tops that don't have matching pants with slut holes in the sides. T.T; And her ideas.
A/N: T.T I messed up. Jun's name isn't Chun *sobs*. It's Run. No, not Run as in run for your life. It means 'smooth'. T.T Personally, I think Chun sounds better, so I'll use Chun. . By the way, I've decided to switch the plot. So for those of you who want HoroRen and Junlica, beware. :3 It might not be in here.
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Chapter Three
Leave Me Here For More Than a Day?!
***
The Daos arrive at the Ainu lands, unaware of what conflict they might be getting themselves into...
Lian, Chun, and Bai-long walk into the Ainu palace. Chun attempts to walk elegantly with her very expensive, black silk dress with a panda that doesn't really look like it belongs in the design and a huge green dragon on the bottom flowing behind her. However, she trips over her dress, but manages to stop herself in midair and straighten herself. Somehow. O.o;
"Hello and welcome to the wonderful Ainu palace! Enjoy your stay, and beware of Horo Horo's wrath, or you'll have ice blocks up some place you don't want them to be," a servant said.
"The place you don't want them to be is called the ass, you dumb servant!!" Horo Horo said, pronouncing the 'b' in 'dumb'. Lian snorted. Horo Horo jumped off his royAl throne. He looked up at Chun, who was about half a head taller than him. Yes, Horo Horo is probably about 5'1"-5'3", I'm not sure, because the picture I was using for the calculations had him sitting down. Chun is about 5'8", not including her hair. Pilica bounced up from nowhere, and looked at Lian, who's actually about a millimeter shorter than Pilica if you don't count his hair. O.o;;; Anyway...
"Don't you think your pants are a bit too... hole-y?" Pilica asked, looking at Lian's pants.
"Of COURSE they're holy! They're MY pants!! They're part of my very expensive, black silk outfit; the pants with nonexistent pockets and slut holes in the sides!!" Lian said.
"Hole-y as in there's HOLES, you dope!!" Pilica said, whacking Lian on the head.
"Oh. I knew that. I was just, um, testing you, yeah," Lian said.
"Don't you think that panda doesn't fit the design on your dress?" Horo Horo asked. Jun glared at him.
"What are you doing staring at my chest, anyway?!" she snapped. Horo Horo flinched.
"God, what's wrong with you? Are you PMSing?" Horo asked. Wusai sobbed in the nonexistent background.
"1000 nevers! Wasted!!" she cried for no one to hear. Chun used her Super Secret Killer Move #2. Horo Horo had a throbbing, red handprint on the left side of his face. He cried, anime style. Lian walked up to him.
"Does it hurt?" he asked.
"Of course!!" Horo Horo said.
"I know how to cure it!!" Lian said. For all of you who don't know, if I were being myself instead of getting hyper off the nonexistent sugar in Diet Mountain Dew, I would've made Lian kiss the cheek all better. But since I'm not... Crappy HoroRen music plays in the background. O.o;
"How so?" Horo Horo asked.
"Like this!"
Lian slapped Horo Horo extremely hard on the right cheek. EXTREMELY hard. I mean, almost as hard as Chun!
"There! Now your mind is off your left cheek, and is on your right cheek! Your left cheek doesn't hurt anymore!!" Lian said, happily. Horo Horo cried again, anime style. He now had two throbbing red handprints on his face.
"'at 'idn't 'elp 'uch," he said, the throbbing reaching his mouth. "Yo 'ervant o'er 'ere!! 'oo 'ake 'un 'oo 'e 'ungeons!!"
"Wo hao xiang ting dao le, you ren zai wei xi Chun!! (I seemed to have heard someone threaten Chun!!)" Bai-long said.
"Dan shi ni wei she me ke yi ting dao; ni zhi zhi dao zhong wen! (But how could you have heard; you only know Chinese!)" Chun replied. Bai-long shrugged.
"Wo jiou zhi dao. (I just know.)" Bai-long said. Horo Horo poked Lian.
"'ut are 'ey 'aying?" he asked.
"First, Bai-long said 'If you threaten Chun, I'll rip off your what-makes-you-a-man!!' and then Chun said 'That's right; don't ever underestimate him!' and Bai-long said 'Apologize!'" Lian replied, trying to keep a straight face. Chun hit him on the head.
"That's not what he said," she said, "Bai-long said 'I seemed to have heard someone threaten Chun!!' and then I said 'But how could you have heard; you only know Chinese!' and then Bai-long said 'I just know.'"
"..." Horo Horo didn't say. He looked from Chun to the snickering Lian. "Well, I believe..."
Wusai would make Horo Horo say 'Lian', but...
"Chun," Horo Horo said, the throbbing gone.
"Smart choice," Chun said.
"So how long are you two staying here?" Pilica asked.
"More than a day," Lian said.
"Ok. There's a few rules you have to know. Only Pilica steals the cookies from the cookie jar. If you piss me off, then you get an ice block up your ass," Horo Horo said.
"Few things you have to know about us," Lian said, "Don't piss me off, or you'll have nonexistent sporks up your ass. I also have a folded up glaive in the nonexistent pocket on my pants, which are part of my very expensive, black silk outfit; the pants with nonexistent pockets and slut holes in the sides. Chun's slap is deadly. Bai-long speaks poor Japanese[1]."
"You have something for nonexistent stuff, don't you?" Pilica asked. Lian nodded proudly.
"I have a whole nonexistent collection of nonexistent things I don't have in my nonexistent attic!" he said. Pilica took a step back.
"I see," she said, looking at Lian weirdly.
"They're supposed to stay with us for who knows how long," Horo Horo whispered to Pilica.
"Do you think we can live?" Pilica whispered back.
"I hope," Horo Horo replied.
***
1. The fic's in English, but they're speaking in Japanese.
A/N: Ok, so that was mostly dialogue. x.o I promise the next chapter will be longer and better. Please review!
