Helga's very special day
Disclaimer: Hey Arnold! ain't mine, buster! So you lawyers better stay the heck away from me.
Part 3 Growing Up
A car pulled up in front of the Pataki residence. Two very different girls exited the car, with two very different looks on their faces. One was about to knock politely on the front door, but the other found that life was too long already, and to be held up by civility was unbearable.
"Outta the way! Outta the WAY!" Helga stormed as she pushed the door open. She stomped into the kitchen where she found Miriam drinking a smoothie and Bob reading the newspaper.
"Why're you so late?" Bob boomed mechanically. "Your mother didn't start dinner because you weren't home!"
"I was held up by Miss Sunshine-lollipops, over there!" Helga pointed towards the door.
"Miriam, what the heck is your daughter talking about?"
"I'm talking about Olga, Big Bobbo, and if you had half a brain, you'd--"
"Olga? Why the heck didn't you say so, sooner?" His disposition suddenly transformed.
Helga sighed as Her Grace entered the room in all her glory.
"Mummy! Daddy! I'm Home!" Olga's arms outstretched. Her parents ran to embrace her.
Helga sat down at the table and began to read the funny pages from Bob's newspaper, which she often did when such an event was in progress. Helga snickered. "That's rich! Satchel and Bucky on Judge Judy? Where does this guy get his stuff?!" Helga continued flipping through the comics, reading even her most hated comic, "The Family Circus". Anything to avoid listening to her sister droning on about how wonderful life was treating her. "How's about that! Heart finally got Dean. Good for her, I say." Helga said to no one in particular. When the comic section proved to be too short, Helga amused herself with the self-help section. She liked to read about people with cheating husbands, corrupt in-laws, and evil plans for revenge on a past lover. However, today she would be veritably disappointed because the present column was about proper etiquette in a plane, and what to do if your neighbor's dog was barking at night. She had no choice but to listen in on her sister's senseless discussion.
"--That's why I came here today." Catching the brink end of the contention, it seemed to Helga that Olga was in the middle of telling some of her 'life-information', as she liked them to call it. "I'm changing my major from Engineering, to Child Social Worker."
"What?!" Helga smacked her head.
"That's great, Olga. You take as much time as you need." Bob praised his daughter.
"But, that's the FOURTH time she's changed it, doi! You can't tell me you're actually stupid enough to be happy about this! "
"Quiet down, Olga." Bob reprimanded.
"It's Helga, for crying out loud!" She threw up her hands.
"Yeah, sure. Whatever." His attention turned back to his other daughter.
"I need a drink" Helga uttered under her breath. "Miriam, we got any tomatoes?"
"In the fridge, dear." She replied, stupidly.
"Good, it's about time I changed the eyes on my football-headed shrine." When it became apparent that nobody was listening to her, Helga turned around on her heel and huffed off up to her room.
Holding the tomato in her hand, Helga made her way to the back of her closet. 'Arnold's' head was looking mighty disgusting, today. Helga considered looking into some non-organic body parts as soon as Olga was out of the house. She knew that if she brought googley eyes and paper arms into the building, Miss Arts-and-Crafts would come out of the box. Helga cranked up the volume on her love-music stereo and sliced the little tomato in half. She began planning her evening: A few Anonymous love poems to start; sacrificing a holy item to the Arnold divine creator was next. And to finish off her night, a little masterminding was necessary for tomorrow, to figure out how to get Arnold to keep quiet about his 'psychological disorder'.
"Right. I almost forgot all about that." Helga regarded her Arnold sanctuary, a feeling of guilt washed over her. "Oh, why? Why did I mislead Arnold into rationalizing an evil presence in his character? Enclosed in my rash bid for attention, is the innocent love I hold for him. I reserve my ardor! Oh, impetuous Helga! Oh unattainable Arnold. Why, WHY!?"
"Baby--sis?"
"Olga!"
"What are you? Mo-om!"
"Sh--!! Shut UP, you idiot!" Helga waved her hands in a halting motion.
"Is everything alright up there, girls?" Miriam said in her vapid manner. Helga searched her sister's face for a response.
"Puh-lease, don't say anything, Olga!" Helga could feel her sister's brain tick-tick-ticking. Negotiation over what her decision would be. Her slightly vacant face held a look not unlike that of her mother's.
"Well" She pondered, tapping her face with her index finger and looking towards the ceiling in an attempt to look thoughtful. "I guess I can forget about this, that is, if you help me with something, my little sibling." Olga smiled sweetly.
"Anything!" Helga said, all the while wanting to clean the smirk off of her sister's sly face.
"It's nothing, mother, dear!" Olga hollered back down. Olga took her sister's hand and led her to her bed. They sat down together, both smiling surreptitiously at each other. This image, if one hadn't known the history of resentment that Helga held for her older relative, one would think that these two were very much at peace.
"So," Helga began, breaking the silence.
"So," Olga replied.
"So?" Helga could feel this was going nowhere fast.
"So," Olga repeated.
"So, what's the deal already?!" She yelled impatiently. Suddenly, Olga broke into tears and grabbed her sister's dress by the shoulders, looking deeply into Helga's eyes.
"Oh, baby sister! You've got to help me! Everything you said in the kitchen was so true! I can't decide on a major. And in a few weeks"
Helga rolled her eyes, un-surprised. "What?" She said flatly.
"I'll be I'll be I'll be TWENTY-FIVE!" Olga wailed bitterly into Helga's dress leaving little dark pink, wet blotches. "And now they gave me this big project where I'm supposed to deal with young peoples social issues and find a solution to the problem! And soon I'm going to beto be TWENTY-FIVE!"
"Yes, I believe you've said that already."
"Helga, you're creative, right? You've got to help me, baby sister! I don't know anything. I'm so stupid. I can't do anything right!" Helga patted her sister's back briskly.
"Well, can't argue with ya, there." She said sarcastically. Jeez, her sister really set herself up for that. But Olga sat unfazed by the remark and continued on.
Olga sniffed. "Can't you help?"
"I'm nine years old for Crissake! What do you want me to do?"
Olga looked at her with her puppy dog eyes. "You're young, and therefore, have young peoples social issues, and I'm I'm OLD!" Olga began to bawl into her sister's lap again, leaving Helga with her fiery rage.
"So, the problem is that you're feeling sorry for yourself because you're finally not able to locate an easy solution, and now you're hoping that I'll bail you out? Well forget it missy! I don't DO hat tricks! Now, stay outta my room for the rest of the week, or however long you plan to live here to avoid your problems!" Helga pushed Olga off her legs and went right back into the closet, slamming the door behind her. Helga sat in the darkened wardrobe with her legs crossed. Her room was so quiet that she figured Olga had left weeping and wouldn't be bothered with her anymore. Helga began to feel a little unjust as she thought about her perfect sister who had come to her for help. She could have at least given her some stupid advice to make her feel better. But there was just something so outrageous about her sister, of all people, asking for help, that it made Helga uncover a newfound disgust for Olga.
"Who is it, anyway?" A voice interrupted her thoughts.
"I thought I told you to bugger off!" Helga's brow wrinkled. Her sister stood a foot away from the shrine. She'd quietly maneuvered her way in, unnoticed.
"He must be a kind boy. He must be really nice, huh? Or maybe he's just cute, but no personality. Am I right?" She tested. Helga remained quiet. "You know," Olga offered. "I liked a boy very much, when I was your age. I always thought about him. He was sort of the rebel type, you know? Much older, though. I would follow him around when he was with his buddies. He never even noticed me." Helga seemed to be listening, now. "I would always make up stories in the school yard about how I liked stealing. I tried to get him to like me, like that, but, it was obvious he didn't really care." Olga began to giggle. "Do you know what I did? This one time, he got caught stealing and the police were called. I thought he would think I was cool if I took the rap for him, so I told the police that I sneaked the item into his bag when he wasn't looking, and then I got into trouble instead of him." Olga returned to her solemn state when she noticed that Helga wasn't laughing. "He said, 'thanks, kid.' and he never spoke to me again." There was a long gap of silence as Helga thought over her sister's words, and how they applied to her life.
"So, in the end, you didn't get Arno uh, the guy?" She spoke ultimately. Olga shook her head. "And what you're saying is--Is that I never will either."
"Oh, no, my little love muffin! Not at all." She brightened. "I mean, I never introduced myself properly. He was much too old for me. I tried to become him. A whole bunch of reasons!"
"So, then, how do you get someone to like you enough to get to know the real you?" Helga said uncertainly.
"You've just given me a really good idea for a project. Oh, Helga, this is so exciting! We're communicating! I wont be a bad social worker after all! I'll get a great mark! And I wont be twenty-five for weeks and weeks and weeks!" Olga voiced energetically. She bounced out of the room like an idiot.
Helga hung her head. "What a nitwit." She thought. But a smile crept onto her face without her thinking about it. There was now more hope for her and Arnold. Olga had just tried too hard to mirror the boy. Helga never tried to be like Arnold. In fact, she was the anti-Arnold. Nothing could go wrong, now that she knew the rule. Nothing much.
Notes: I find Helga's house to be not so funny, so I couldn't really write anything very amusing for this chapter. Also, I've been accused of theft at my job, causing me to leave, which has also put a damper on my mood. I'll try and make the next one more upbeat. Oh, yeah. If you want to see my current manga, here's the website! http://perfectworld.zerobyzero.ca/ BTW, my very creative sister wrote it for me to draw, so it's a lot better than my stories. R&R!