You're Gonna Carry That Weight

By Sailor Red

Cowboy Bebop belongs to Bandai Ent. / Sunrise inc.

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Chapter 10

Past, Present, Future

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Smoke rose from the gun, shock and disbelief set in the pit of the stomach of the man holding the weapon. It was over. It was finally over.

It was almost too easy. It was almost too simple.

The instant Vicious had released Faye, or more correctly, threw the woman to the ground, Spike had taken advantage of the moment. He aimed, he fired, and he hit Vicious in the middle of his eyes.

He killed the demon.

Spike threw his gun to the ground and ran to Faye's side, desperately searching for any sign that she was still alive, frantically seeking a pulse.

He found his sign. Her heart was still beating. It was very faint, but beating nevertheless. He slapped her cheek gently, trying to get her to react.

"Faye . . ." he whispered. "Faye, can you hear me?" The woman murmured something indistinguishable, and Spike involuntarily smiled. "Faye, I'm going to get you to a hospital."

"No." Spike's eyes widened in shock.

"What did you just say?" Faye coughed, blood trickling from her mouth.

"I said no. You shouldn't have come here. Get the hell out before he kills you." Realization dawned on the fluffy haired man, and he sighed.

"Vicious is dead, Faye. He isn't going to hurt me. Now let me get you some help." Faye looked like she wanted to say something else, but couldn't. All Spike could see was her choking on her own blood, and his gut wrenched. If he didn't get her some medical attention soon, she was most certainly going to die. If she died . . .

Spike cursed at himself and told himself to stop thinking about such things. There wasn't time. As gently as possible, he picked the woman up and started on his way out the door. The Hospital was close. He could make it. He would make it.

There was no way in hell he was going to let Faye die.

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Darkness filled Faye's vision, emptiness and pain filled her heart. She floated in a sea of black, alone. Why did she do this? Why did she go and do something this stupid?

'It's because you love him . . .' Faye's consciousness started in shock. What was that? Where was that light coming from? Beautiful and bright, pure and translucent, the light acted as a curtain hiding a figure in the distance.

"Who are you?" Faye shook slightly at the sound of her own voice. She sounded terrified, lost, and confused. She didn't like it. She didn't like it at all.

'Let's just say I'm someone who knows how you feel." Faye narrowed her eyes and growled.

"How can you possibly know how I feel? I'm going to die! What's worse is that I'm going to die because I was worried about that moron! I've given up my life for . . .  for that stupid, good for nothing, loser!" The voice laughed.

'You're not dead yet, Faye. You won't die if you fight.' Faye looked down to her feet and sighed.

"What do I have to fight for? Why do I have to keep on fighting? Why should I bother?" Faye's head shot up and she glared at the figure. "You didn't answer my question. I want to know who you are."

'You're a smart woman, Faye. Figure it out for yourself. Only another who has been put into a similar situation could empathize with how you're feeling right now.' Faye's eyes widened in shock and her breath caught in her throat.

"My God. Julia?" The voice laughed and the figure floated out of its curtain of light, a wide grin on her face.

"See, it wasn't that hard to figure out, was it?" Julia took Faye's hand. "Now, as for your reason to fight for your life, let me show you something." Faye didn't have a chance to protest or even ask Julia what she was talking about when the blackness and the light began swirling and contorting. In one sudden moment Faye found herself floating above familiar surroundings: the hospital.

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Spike sat in the waiting room, a cigarette in his mouth, his eyes staring blankly at the floor tiles. His appearance was ragged, his hair more disheveled than usual, stubble growing in on his chin. He looked like he hadn't slept in days.

Jet walked up to him, and put his hand on the fluffy haired man's shoulder. Spike looked up halfheartedly to see the nearly bald man shake his head.

"Any news?" Jet sighed and plopped into the chair next to Spike's.

"Nope. Not yet. She's still critical, and she's still unconscious." Jet turned his head to face Spike. "You still haven't told me what the hell happened out there." Spike leaned over to put his cigarette out in a nearby ashtray, and then stood up.

"Vicious." Jet gasped and rose to his feet.

"What?"

"Faye saw that there was a bounty for Vicious. She didn't want me to run off again, so she went by herself to face him."

"That dumb broad. What kind of idiot is she?" Spike whipped his head around to glare at Jet, then turned and punched the nearest wall. Jet jumped in shock.

"Shut up, Jet. She did this for everyone. That includes you. She didn't want me to die again."

"You said that already." Spike growled and started heading to where Faye was being treated. Jet simply stood where he was. He didn't know what to do in this situation. He didn't have any idea what this situation was. He shook his head and ran his hand through non-existent hair. "What the fuck is going on?"

~~~~~

Faye watched the happenings in the hospital with slight amusement. It was nice to be able to spy on Jet and Spike. Yet . . .

She still didn't see what Julia had been talking about.

'Follow Spike . . .' Faye felt Julia's hand on her shoulder and she jumped.

"Why?" Julia laughed.

'Trust me.'

Faye shrugged and floated after Spike, following him into the ICU. She grimaced at the sight of herself. Multiple tubes and needles were stuck into her; bandages were wrapped tightly around her head, shoulder, and torso. She was attached to a respirator as well as a heart monitor. It wasn't pretty.

She watched as Spike pulled a chair over to her bedside. He looked at her and smirked without mirth.

"You know, Romani, It figures you would get placed in the one room where I can't smoke." He sighed. "It kinda figures that the area you'd need a cigarette, more than any other room, you just can't light up or else you'll blow the place to bits. God's sense of humor, I suppose. God damn it, Faye, why'd you have to . . ." He rubbed his eyes violently with his thumb and forefinger, then reached to take her hand in his. "Look, I know your intentions were good and everything, but what you did was still really stupid. I'm not worth this. I don't know what was going on in your head, and frankly it terrifies me to even think of what cranks might have been turning, but . . ." he slightly tightened his grip on her hand. "There're a lot of things I want to tell you, but you have to snap out of it. I need you here." Spike smirked. "I'm gonna screw up again one of these days. I always manage to, somehow. Who else is going to yell at me and call me an idiot? Well, besides Jet, right? Who else am I going to argue with while Jet's doing his bonsai thing? Who's going to throw on a dress and seduce potential bounties? I sure as hell can't pull it off." Spike sighed and looked to the ground in silence.

Faye stared at Spike in disbelief. She had never heard him talk so much. Normally, some of the things he said would have pissed her off, but . . .

He looked so . . . sad. She never would have dreamed that he would . . . care. Of course, he didn't know that she could hear everything he was saying, nevertheless, he was actually saying these things. What was he . . .

"You know Faye . . ." Spike started. "The reason I got so upset when you teased me was because you were right." Faye gasped and floated closer. He wasn't talking about . . .

"I was jealous when you were flirting with that bounty. I think you knew that already, but . . ." Tears started forming in the corner of Spike's eyes and Faye gasped again, putting her hand to her face and letting her own tears fall freely down her face. What was he . . .

She jumped a little when she felt Julia nudge her. Faye had forgotten that the woman was still there.

'You should be conscious for what's next. You have my blessing, tell Spike that.' Faye was then pushed. She didn't fight it. She simply let herself fall.

"I was jealous. I couldn't help it. God, Faye, you're such a pain in my ass . . . but I think that's what I love about you." Spike jumped internally. Did he just say . . .

Spike released Faye's hand and rose to his feet. He needed a cigarette.

"Where the hell do you think you're going, Gorgio?" Spike spun around in shock, eyes wide. Faye's eyes twitched and slowly opened. She swore. "Ow. Damn light." She turned her head to the side, grimacing as pain shot through her. "Well? Please tell me you brought Vicious' body to the cops. I had better be getting paid for sticking up for your sorry ass." Spike grinned.

"Jet took care of it. I had to drag you over here." Faye smiled.

"Yeah, thanks a lot. Exactly how many tubes do I have in me? God, this sucks."

"Five or six . . . maybe seven. I'm going for a cigarette. You can't have one. See ya." Faye growled, then smiled evilly.

"Yeah, I know. You told me that about fifteen minutes ago." Spike stopped in mid stride.

"What? B-but you were . . ." Faye pushed a stray strand of hair away from her eyes and grinned.

"Unconscious? Yup. Doesn't mean I didn't have one of those out of body experiences. They do happen sometimes when you get close to death . . . Oh, and Julia says hi." Spike nearly choked.

"What?" Faye yawned.

"Yeah, I never expected her to shake her finger at me and tell me it was wrong to die. Jeez."

"She did what?" Faye stared at Spike in amusement, and then continued.

"She's up there looking after you, apparently. Basically, she has this crazy idea that you're in love with me, and she wanted to make sure that you didn't lose another girl due to your stupidity."

"My stupidity! You're the one who . . ." Faye smirked.

"Yet you don't immediately tell me that Julia's psycho for thinking you love me. . . weird. You should really get psychoanalyzed Spike. You're fucking crazy." Spike threw his hands up in the air.

"You know what Faye, maybe Julia's completely sane and knew what she was talking about. I'm going for a smoke. Get well soon."

With that, Spike slammed the door behind him. Faye simply stared in complete and utter shock.

Did Spike just . . .

Did he just admit that . . .

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Spike walked to the waiting room, searching for Jet. He couldn't believe what he had just done. What the hell was wrong with him? Why couldn't he think before he spoke? Faye did that to him, though. He didn't ever really think much when she was around. He just shot his mouth and worried about what he said later . . .

He found Jet and told him of Faye's condition. The man seemed relieved. Spike lit a cigarette and exhaled heavily before telling Jet that he was going to the police station to take care of the bounty money. He needed some air.

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one month later . . .

Faye swore at her physical therapist. The guy was trying to tell her that she'd be stuck in the hospital for another week if she couldn't get herself moving properly. She was sick of this goddamned hospital. She hadn't seen Spike since his little 'confession' and it pissed her off. Jet had told her that he was busy working on getting some cash for the rest of the crew. They weren't going to touch the bounty money from Vicious until Faye gave them the 'go.' She did almost die for that bounty after all . . .

Faye wanted to go shopping, or gambling, or, well she wanted to be doing anything but be in the hospital.

Oh, and she wanted to see Spike. She had a bone to pick with that man . . .

"Alright, Miss Valentine . . .you can go home tomorrow. Take it easy." Faye growled at the man and glared.

"I thought so. Now stop feeling me up and get out of here." The man blushed a deep shade of red and practically ran out of the room, nearly trampling Jet.

"Hey. What'd you do to that guy?" Faye smiled innocently.

"Nothing, Jet, nothing at all. I'm going home tomorrow. Better tell Spike. He'll probably want to run off and hide before I get there." Jet rolled his eyes.

"What the hell is with you two, anyway?" Faye laughed.

"Apparently, Spike's an idiot. What else's new?"

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Faye had never been happier to step aboard the Bebop. She was home and everything was not completely normal. The second Jet got in the door, he ran to the kitchen to cook. Faye groaned.

"Jet, I just got out of the hospital! You better not be expecting me to . . ."

"Faye-Faye!" Ed ran and pounced on Faye, bringing her to the ground. Faye seemed to grow vampire fangs as she pried the girl off of her.

"Ed! Are you trying to kill me?" Ed grinned widely.

"Nope! Ed is just happy to see Faye-person is alive. Ed will go feed Ein now. Bai Bai Faye-Faye!" With that, the redhead grabbed Ein by the collar and ran off. Faye sighed.

"Hey Jet . . ."

"What part of my cooking do you want to make fun of now, Faye?" Faye smirked.

"I have all the time in the world to do that. How much does it cost to get a new vid screen?" Faye could have sworn she heard Jet choking in the kitchen.

"W-what? Are you actually taking responsibility for . . ."

"Okay, Jet, forget it then. I'm stealing a beer."

"Good luck. I think Spike grabbed the last one." Faye growled. Damn it. She really wanted a beer. She hadn't had one in . . .

"Here." Faye spun around to see Spike throw a beer in her direction. She smirked, caught it, opened it and took a long swig.

"So the renegade cowboy makes his appearance . . . does that mean you've done something right for a change?" Spike ran his fingers through his hair and smiled.

"Yeah. Small fry. 10,000 woolong bounty. Hey, it buys beer and cigarettes. What more do we need?" Faye shrugged.

"I don't know about you, but I need a shower. . ." Spike nodded, and Faye started to walk past him when he caught her arm, and stared her in the eye. Faye could feel her pulse quicken. She looked at him quizzically.  "What do you want?" Spike released her and sighed.

"Nothing. Don't worry about it." Faye shrugged and let out a deep breath she didn't realize she had been holding.

"Hey, Spike . . . about that thing . . . If Julia was right about that . . . thing . . . well, it'd make me . . . happy, I guess. Just thought you might want to know." Spike stood in shock for a second, Faye's words slowly sinking in. Did that mean that she . . .

Spike watched her start to make her way towards the shower area, and then without thinking, grabbed her by the wrist and spun her around.

"What the hell do you want now, Spike?" Faye cursed at the shakiness of her voice. She had meant to sound annoyed, but it just came out . . . well, wrong.

"What do you mean by that?" Spike's voice was abnormally soft, half because he didn't want anyone to overhear him, and half because he was inexplicably nervous when he looked into Faye's eyes. There was something different there, something that was normally hidden from anyone and everyone who had ever looked at her. Emotion. Faye rolled her eyes.

"God, you really are and idiot, aren't you. It means I love you. You're so du . . ." Faye wasn't able to finish her sentence as Spike pulled her close to him and kissed her passionately, not stopping until a clatter sounded through out the room.

Jet stood near the familiar yellow couch that was now sporting a gross looking green stain. Spike stared for a second, and then walked away, whistling, his hand behind his head and his elbow sticking out. Faye laughed and started to head up towards the shower, stopping only when she reached the top of the stairs.

"Hey Jet, you may want to clean that up, I think it's eating through the couch!"

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~See You Space Cowboy . . . ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Well minna, that's it. I hope you enjoyed. ^_^ Wow, I love this fic. It's broken so many personal records . . . Came out pretty good, too. I mean, you guys seem to like it. ^_^ Let me know what you thought of the end; you know how much I love reviews.

Thanks for sticking with this story 'till the end. I luv u minna!

Ja!

*This Fic is copyright March - July 2002 Sailor Red / Elaine Mahlecke