"So it's over?" said Spike, kicking her legs from under her.
"Really over!" she gasped, flipping back to her feet and landing a good kick to his face.
"Not quite believing you, love," he replied. He grabbed her by the waist and smashed her into a wall.
"Ow, that hurt!" she grumbled, flying at him, lifting him bodily up and hurling him across the room. "Spike, you're not concentrating," she scolded, shaking her head mockingly as she helped him up.
"Can't help it. I'm still convinced some big nightmare is going to turn up, just for me. You know, some big, brooding nightmare," he clarified.
"It's over. Giles says it's over, Willow says it's over, the big, boring books say it's over."
"And none of those are ever wrong," he snorted.
"Or maybe you just have a guilty conscience," she suggested, looking at him slyly. "Cos you're sleeping with your sire's ex!"
"Yeah, I am, aren't I?" he said with a grin, pulling her closer.
"Not here! Been here, done you, got caught, remember?"
"So where do you fancy? Cemetery? Crypt?"
"You ever heard of this thing called a bed? Meant to be really….cut it out! Get off me!" she giggled as he pulled her to the ground, tickling and tormenting her. "Alright! Anywhere!" she moaned, clutching him.
"You've gotta pick one," he growled, concentrating his hands' attack more firmly on her waist now, as his mouth sought her neck, nipping and kissing.
"Crypt. Now!" she gasped, pulling his mouth to hers.
"What's the hurry, pet? Just getting, uh, comfortable here," he groaned. "Buffy! Stoppit! What are you….? Ow, okay, crypt!"
Mastery of the situation achieved, Buffy sat back on her heals, smile on her lips.
"You're a bitch, you know that?" he grumbled.
"Yeah. So you're going to send me back to your crypt all on my own?" she teased, starting out of the room. Glaring at her retreating back, Spike groaned and silently admitted defeat. She wasn't going anywhere on her own.
Following at a jog and catching her outside, he spun her round. "Where'd you think you're going?" he demanded, weakening at the sight of her laughing face. Bloody beautiful.
"Buffy!" called a familiar voice. "I've been looking everywhere for you!"
"Riley!" gasped Buffy.
"Oh fuck," said Spike.
*****
"What are you doing here?" demanded Buffy, torn between shock and anger.
"Isn't it obvious? He's a bloody consequence!" growled Spike, pacing away from them. The nightmare to end all nightmares. Buffy would never have got back together with his poncey sire but he wasn't so sure about the nice human soldier boy.
Riley looked confused by the presence of Spike, but pressed ahead.
"I need your help, Buffy," he said.
"Ha!" said Spike, bitterly, "Of course you do!"
Riley ignored him. "I've been tracking a demon for days, dangerous thing. We think someone's selling its eggs on the black market, you know, to foreign dictators. These things could wipe out a country. I need to find them."
"Eggs?" said Spike, looking interested.
"Yes, demon eggs," repeated Riley patiently, addressing himself pointedly to Buffy. "Buffy, will you help?"
"I might be able to help," said Spike. "Eggs, you say? Big, pink eggs, about so high?" He indicated with his hands.
"Yes," agreed Riley suspiciously, "What do you know about them?"
"Got'em back in my crypt, about a dozen of 'em. Friend came by yesterday and asked me to keep an eye on them."
"You're the smuggler!" said Riley, shaking his head, "There's a surprise!"
"That's not exactly what he said," corrected Buffy. She turned to Spike. "How do you even find the time to do these things? You've hardly been out of my sight for five minutes!"
"What can I say, pet? My life is a rich tapestry."
Buffy rolled her eyes. "Come on, let's go get these things. If you have no objections," she added sarcastically.
"None at all, love. I have no interest in helping foreign dictators," said Spike cheerfully.
"Well, that's okay then," said Riley sardonically. "You know, I do have authorisation to take the holder of these eggs out."
Buffy froze. "No you don't," she said firmly. "You can come with us and help destroy the eggs and then you can leave. You've done enough harm here."
Spike began to feel that he rather liked consequences.
"We're not destroying the eggs!" said Riley quickly. "My orders are to take them back."
"The lethal things that can wipe out a country?" asked Spike, scratching his head in fake bewilderment. "And you're going to what, hand them over to George W. Bush?"
"You know, not really liking that plan," said Buffy calmly.
"It just doesn't sound like the right thing to do, does it?" said Spike with apparent sincerity, beginning to enjoy himself. "Innocent people could get hurt."
Buffy, with difficulty, kept her face straight. "Riley, face it, the big killer eggs die here. I'm not having them turn into big killer - easter bunnies or something."
"It's not up to you to decide, I have orders," repeated Riley, looking frustrated.
"And this is my town. I'm the Slayer, and you know what? If these are monsters then I'm going to slay them!"
"Pity you don't take that line with all the monsters," said Riley bitterly, eyeing Spike. "You could at least be grateful. It's thanks to us that he can't hurt you. It's thanks to us that you can trust him enough to….do whatever you're doing with him."
"Spike," said Buffy wearily. "Give him the demo."
"You sure, pet?" he looked at her with concern. She nodded. He punched her.
"Crappy government technology," she said to Riley, indicating a smugly grinning Spike. "Maybe you guys could look into that instead of finding killer eggs to set on people?"
"You're insane," said Riley, bemused. "You're still defending him and he can do that?"
"I'm still going out with him and he can do that," she clarified.
"Your loss," he said quietly, turning to leave. "I presume you'll deal with the eggs before he gets everyone killed? See you around, Buffy."
"Yeah." She watched as he turned to leave. "And Riley?" she called sweetly. "Bite me."
"That really wasn't my nightmare," said Spike, puzzled.
"I think it was just real life," she said thoughtfully. "That does happen sometimes, even around here. Come on, we better go clean up your demon spawn."
"They're not my demon spawn!" he protested, following her.
"If this takes more than ten minutes I am so going to kill you! I wanted a nice relaxing evening with a nice relaxing bath…"
"I'll relax you," he promised with meaning.
"You," she began, jabbing a finger at his chest, "Are not relaxing. You cause trouble and keep demon eggs and never let me get any sleep!" She began to smile despite herself. "Not relaxing!"
"Complaining?" he enquired, drawing her closer and dropping his mouth to her neck. "Wanna swap me for the more relaxing version?"
"No-oo," she admitted.
"He's just back there, I can call him for you if you like," he offered, taking a step away from her. She grabbed his arm and tugged him back.
"I think I'll stick with what I've got, thanks," she said softly, touching his face. He gazed at her in rapt adoration.
"Crypt?" she reminded him, waving a hand in front of his glazed expression. "Eggs?"
"Eggs can wait," he declared with a grin. Evil grin. "First I've gotta shag all memory of your ex out of your head." He picked her up despite her half-hearted struggles.
"That could take ages," she whispered wickedly, capturing his lips with hers.
"No hurry, pet. I've got a whole long forever."
**The End**