Chapter 6: Questions
Nikki slowly, silently opened the window that led to the fire escape, not wanting to disturb Gabriel who seemed to be meditating. The night air was cool, but not unpleasantly so and the scent of the city and the river drifted along tainting what would have been clean air otherwise. There was a presence near them, a familiar one, but one that was keeping its distance as well. He was watching as he usually did. Confused as to why the Bowman child was there. Ian had seen the Bowman boy step out onto the fire escape and sit to meditate as if he belonged there. True, there had been a look of confusion on his face, but he also did not seem nervous. Nikki looked to the night sky and let her mind extend..
"Ian. do stop lurking in the shadows. If you are so curious come to my door." she said softly through telepathy. Ian was startled to hear that voice in his mind. But he was also compelled to follow it. He turned away from his vantage point and began his advancement upon the door in question.
"Hey Gabe, you gonna sit out there all night?" Sara called her voice dancing with laughter. Gabe slowly opened his eyes and looked to the window and to the girl blocking his view of Sara.
"Hi." He said softly, a half smile on his lips. Nikki's heart skipped a beat.
"Hi. Are you all right? Is there." Nikki started, Gabe raised his hand and put a finger to her lips to silence her.
"I'm fine. I have questions. but I'm fine. You need to relax. In a millennia you still haven't learned how to do that." Gabe said softly. Nikki pulled back.
"Relaxation is something I cannot afford. I must be ever alert lest the Blade fall into evil's hands again." Nikki sighed and started to turn away, Gabe reached out his hand to catch her wrist.
"We need to talk."
"I know."
"What is the matter Nikki?"
"Nothing. I - I'm fine."
"Liar. What is bothering you so much?"
"I cannot tell you."
"Why not?"
"Because I simply cannot."
"I don't blame you you know."
"What?" Nikki said startled.
"For what happened a millennia ago. I don't blame you."
"Y-you d-d-don't?"
"No. If you care about someone so much it's hard to let them go when you know they're not going to come back. It must have been hard watching me walk away."
"Harder than you can imagine." Nikki said softly as she came out onto the fire escape.
"Why did you stand there and watch?"
"Because I knew that it was the last time I was going to get to see you."
"Oh."
"I have something that belongs to you. I would have returned it sooner but in the millennia since we last met, this is the first time I have seen you." Nikki said as she held the Angel ring out.
"Wow. it's amazing. and it's that old?"
"Older, but it's yours."
"Why?"
"It was made for you a long time ago."
"Did you make it?"
"The Witchblade and I did. yes."
"Why?"
"Because you are a member of the inner circle of the Witchblade. You are as much a part of this as Sara is, as I am."
"So I guess that means that this ring is more than it seems?"
"Yes. It connects you to the Witchblade and gives you access to its more angelic abilities."
"Such as?"
"The ability to heal others as well as the self. support and protection. duties and abilities more suited to an angelic soul."
"I see."
"A warrior you may have been, but it is not in your soul. You fight when you know you must. You would rather help without fighting. It has always been this way. You prefer peace, and I cannot blame you for that. I would give up eternity if I could have one moment's peace. One moment where I am not what I am. where I am normal." Nikki said her voice trailing off and going sad once again. Gabe reached out and lifted her chin so that her eyes met his.
"It's really hard for you isn't it?"
"Yeah, I may have been created for this - made for this - raised to do this, but beneath it all. I'm still."
"Human."
"Well not quite. I've never been human, but I guess since I am patterned after humans it'll have to do."
"What is it like?"
"What do you mean what is it like?"
"What is it like knowing what you know?"
"It is hard. I have the weight of eternity on my shoulders and no one to take any of the burden from me. It is a weight I must carry alone. I must keep record of it so that nothing is forgotten, that no lesson goes unlearned. So that nothing is meaningless."
"That's some responsibility."
"It is."
"And to think that it was laid upon you when you were just a baby. How could they do that to you?"
"I was not seen as a person. I was seen as an extension of the Blade and nothing more. I was a tool." Nikki said her voice brimming with tears as one stole down her cheek. Gabriel made move to wipe it away, but she turned her face away from him. Sure she wanted things to be as they had been once, but she could not open herself to this. Not now. Her angel would just have to wait. There was too much pain; too much time had gone by. She needed to sort things out for herself. After all this time he could still make her react as though she were truly human. He could still make her feel.
"How could they not see you as a person? You look like one to me."
"They knew how I was created. They knew that I belonged to the Blade. They had counseled the woman that gave birth to me when she found out that she was barren and would never be able to have children. They knew what sort of miracle I was."
"That shouldn't have mattered. You were still a person."
"I wish someone would have told them that then. Maybe then I wouldn't be so mixed up now."
"Why are you mixed up?"
"Much conflicts within me. They trained me to be like a machine. To live for the Blade to protect it, to watch it, to guard it, to record what happened, to occasionally wield it should the need arise. Then I met the Angel and emotion started to enter my world. Emotion other than the compassion they had taught me so that I would want to help save the world. I started to become almost human. The two different methodologies sometimes war within me. The Blade Phoenix warring against the humanity for dominance. The humanity is content where it is, but my training as the soul of the blade, well it doesn't like me being anything other than that - it wants my full cooperation it wants me to be what I was. Do you understand Gabe?"
"I'm not sure. I think that a lot of this still needs to sink in. But I am starting to I think. Funny, I used to think that there was nothing that could baffle me. I mean look at what I do for a living. Even learning about the Witchblade as a real item didn't phase me. But you, you are a conundrum." Gabe said, his voice filled with amusement.
"What if anything do you plan on doing about that?" Nikki said, her voice distant, her heart hopeful.
"Well I never have been one to sit idly by and let something confuse me." Gabe said. Nikki didn't think that he would ever know or understand how much that sentence meant to her, she could only hope that it meant what she wanted it to mean.
"And what do you mean by that Mr. Bowman?"
"Wouldn't you like to know Ms.Magae?" Gabe said, his tone playful. 'You have no idea.' Nikki thought, but she dare not speak those words lest her hopes be shattered should he not be serious. Better to let herself dream - for now.
Nikki slowly, silently opened the window that led to the fire escape, not wanting to disturb Gabriel who seemed to be meditating. The night air was cool, but not unpleasantly so and the scent of the city and the river drifted along tainting what would have been clean air otherwise. There was a presence near them, a familiar one, but one that was keeping its distance as well. He was watching as he usually did. Confused as to why the Bowman child was there. Ian had seen the Bowman boy step out onto the fire escape and sit to meditate as if he belonged there. True, there had been a look of confusion on his face, but he also did not seem nervous. Nikki looked to the night sky and let her mind extend..
"Ian. do stop lurking in the shadows. If you are so curious come to my door." she said softly through telepathy. Ian was startled to hear that voice in his mind. But he was also compelled to follow it. He turned away from his vantage point and began his advancement upon the door in question.
"Hey Gabe, you gonna sit out there all night?" Sara called her voice dancing with laughter. Gabe slowly opened his eyes and looked to the window and to the girl blocking his view of Sara.
"Hi." He said softly, a half smile on his lips. Nikki's heart skipped a beat.
"Hi. Are you all right? Is there." Nikki started, Gabe raised his hand and put a finger to her lips to silence her.
"I'm fine. I have questions. but I'm fine. You need to relax. In a millennia you still haven't learned how to do that." Gabe said softly. Nikki pulled back.
"Relaxation is something I cannot afford. I must be ever alert lest the Blade fall into evil's hands again." Nikki sighed and started to turn away, Gabe reached out his hand to catch her wrist.
"We need to talk."
"I know."
"What is the matter Nikki?"
"Nothing. I - I'm fine."
"Liar. What is bothering you so much?"
"I cannot tell you."
"Why not?"
"Because I simply cannot."
"I don't blame you you know."
"What?" Nikki said startled.
"For what happened a millennia ago. I don't blame you."
"Y-you d-d-don't?"
"No. If you care about someone so much it's hard to let them go when you know they're not going to come back. It must have been hard watching me walk away."
"Harder than you can imagine." Nikki said softly as she came out onto the fire escape.
"Why did you stand there and watch?"
"Because I knew that it was the last time I was going to get to see you."
"Oh."
"I have something that belongs to you. I would have returned it sooner but in the millennia since we last met, this is the first time I have seen you." Nikki said as she held the Angel ring out.
"Wow. it's amazing. and it's that old?"
"Older, but it's yours."
"Why?"
"It was made for you a long time ago."
"Did you make it?"
"The Witchblade and I did. yes."
"Why?"
"Because you are a member of the inner circle of the Witchblade. You are as much a part of this as Sara is, as I am."
"So I guess that means that this ring is more than it seems?"
"Yes. It connects you to the Witchblade and gives you access to its more angelic abilities."
"Such as?"
"The ability to heal others as well as the self. support and protection. duties and abilities more suited to an angelic soul."
"I see."
"A warrior you may have been, but it is not in your soul. You fight when you know you must. You would rather help without fighting. It has always been this way. You prefer peace, and I cannot blame you for that. I would give up eternity if I could have one moment's peace. One moment where I am not what I am. where I am normal." Nikki said her voice trailing off and going sad once again. Gabe reached out and lifted her chin so that her eyes met his.
"It's really hard for you isn't it?"
"Yeah, I may have been created for this - made for this - raised to do this, but beneath it all. I'm still."
"Human."
"Well not quite. I've never been human, but I guess since I am patterned after humans it'll have to do."
"What is it like?"
"What do you mean what is it like?"
"What is it like knowing what you know?"
"It is hard. I have the weight of eternity on my shoulders and no one to take any of the burden from me. It is a weight I must carry alone. I must keep record of it so that nothing is forgotten, that no lesson goes unlearned. So that nothing is meaningless."
"That's some responsibility."
"It is."
"And to think that it was laid upon you when you were just a baby. How could they do that to you?"
"I was not seen as a person. I was seen as an extension of the Blade and nothing more. I was a tool." Nikki said her voice brimming with tears as one stole down her cheek. Gabriel made move to wipe it away, but she turned her face away from him. Sure she wanted things to be as they had been once, but she could not open herself to this. Not now. Her angel would just have to wait. There was too much pain; too much time had gone by. She needed to sort things out for herself. After all this time he could still make her react as though she were truly human. He could still make her feel.
"How could they not see you as a person? You look like one to me."
"They knew how I was created. They knew that I belonged to the Blade. They had counseled the woman that gave birth to me when she found out that she was barren and would never be able to have children. They knew what sort of miracle I was."
"That shouldn't have mattered. You were still a person."
"I wish someone would have told them that then. Maybe then I wouldn't be so mixed up now."
"Why are you mixed up?"
"Much conflicts within me. They trained me to be like a machine. To live for the Blade to protect it, to watch it, to guard it, to record what happened, to occasionally wield it should the need arise. Then I met the Angel and emotion started to enter my world. Emotion other than the compassion they had taught me so that I would want to help save the world. I started to become almost human. The two different methodologies sometimes war within me. The Blade Phoenix warring against the humanity for dominance. The humanity is content where it is, but my training as the soul of the blade, well it doesn't like me being anything other than that - it wants my full cooperation it wants me to be what I was. Do you understand Gabe?"
"I'm not sure. I think that a lot of this still needs to sink in. But I am starting to I think. Funny, I used to think that there was nothing that could baffle me. I mean look at what I do for a living. Even learning about the Witchblade as a real item didn't phase me. But you, you are a conundrum." Gabe said, his voice filled with amusement.
"What if anything do you plan on doing about that?" Nikki said, her voice distant, her heart hopeful.
"Well I never have been one to sit idly by and let something confuse me." Gabe said. Nikki didn't think that he would ever know or understand how much that sentence meant to her, she could only hope that it meant what she wanted it to mean.
"And what do you mean by that Mr. Bowman?"
"Wouldn't you like to know Ms.Magae?" Gabe said, his tone playful. 'You have no idea.' Nikki thought, but she dare not speak those words lest her hopes be shattered should he not be serious. Better to let herself dream - for now.