"Ms. Pirelli?"  Kim called.  Her voice echoed strangely in the auditorium, which definitely looked creepy at the moment.  It was all dark, except for a faint light from the stage. 

She and Ron walked tentatively to the stage.  "Ms. Pirelli?" repeated Kim.  She  heard a scuffle and a thump.  Then a deafening shriek came from the stage.

Ron screamed as well and grabbed hold of Kim's arm.  The shriek had come from Ms. Pirelli, who was skittering down the steps toward them, a turquoise skirt flying behind her.  Ron jumped back.

"Oh!  You are perrrrrfect!" exclaimed the teacher, eyeing Kim impressively.  "The voice!  The poise!  And that is a wonderful look of confusion."  Her voice could have broken glass.

Kim resisted the urge to put both fingers in her ears.  ""Uh, yes.  Mr. Barkin said that I had to – that you needed someone to play the lead."

"And you will!" cried Ms. Pirelli, causing Ron to edge away a few more steps.  "I knew Mr. Barkin wouldn't let me down."  She clapped her hands excitedly.  "Shall I explain the story?"

"Sure.  Is it some Shakespeare play?"

Ms. Pirelli looked scandalized.  "Shakespeare?" she sniffed disdainfully.  "Oh my no, this is an O-RI-GI-NAAAL!"  With that said, she grabbed Kim's shoulder with one arm, and after some extending had Ron under her other arm.

"Mommy," squeaked Ron.

"It all begins," started Ms. Pirelli, drawing a dramatic breath.  "With a scuba diver by the name of Eugenia Oxyswimmer.  She is exploring the depths of the Atlantic ocean, when she comes across a thicket of seaweed."  Ms. Pirelli released Kim and Ron, then lay flat on the floor, kicking her arms and legs.

"'What a strange species this is,' murmurs our protagonist.  Then quite suddenly!"  Ms. Pirelli's body seized up at this point.  "There is a bright light!  Eugenia goes unconscious…"  Ms. Pirelli flipped onto her back, her eyes closed. "…then awakens,"  Her eyes then fluttered open, a hand to her forehead.  "To find herself surrounded by a mermaid clan!"   

Apparently this rendition was too much.  Ms.  Pirelli looked as though she had fainted for real.  Kim and Ron stood gaping at her, then looked at each other.

"I go now…" whispered Ron.

"No!" said Kim fiercely.  "We have to do something."

Kim knelt next to the very still teacher.  "Ms. Pirelli?  Are you okay?"

Silence.

"Ron,  I think we should call – "

"LEVATHAN!" screeched Ms. Pirelli, leaping to her feet.  She reeled on Ron.

"Eugenia sees our star male for the first time – Levathan!"  Ms. Pirelli appeared confused, as though she had missed a line.  "Although he is a more muscular fellow…"  Ron was stricken.   "At least you aren't terribly short." 

"Oh no…no way," Ron managed.

"Here are your scripts," breathed the teacher.  "I have given you the feel of this phenomenal story, so work from there."

"Thanks," said Kim who didn't quite know what to say after witnessing such a display.

"I must go now," sighed Ms. Pirelli.  "To recruit ten worthy mermaids and mermen to fill the stage."  She pushed past a stammering Ron. 

"Wait!" said Kim.  "How long do we have to memorize this?"  She indicated the script.  A faint look of panic crossed Ms. Pirelli's eyes. 

"Opening night is, er, Saturday."  Now Kim had the same look Ron had.

"Saturday?  That's barely four days!"  

"Saturday?" mouthed Ron, obviously horrified at the thought of coming to school when there wasn't supposed to be school.

"Mmmm, yes.  Well, I must go now."  In a flash, the teacher had vacated the scene.

Kim's bewilderment was shaken away.  "Four days!" she said angrily.  She put a script-holding hand on her  hip.  "I cannot believe I got dragged into this!"

This sentence seemed to yank Ron out of his stupor.  "I can sure believe it!"  He flipped through seven pages of lines, then glared at Kim.

"What?" she asked.  "It wasn't my fault." A thought occurred to her.  "It's after school, isn't it?  Who does Ms. Pirelli think she is going to hunt down at this time?"

"The school does have student addresses, you know," mused Ron.  He had taken a seat,  muttering some indistinguishable words.

"What's wrong now?"  Kim quirked an eyebrow at him. 

"At least your aren't terribly short!" mimicked Ron.  "I'll show her!  My performance will be THE best in all school play history."

"Wow.  That's a far cry from not even wanting to come to the auditorium."

"I must do this KP," proclaimed Ron.  "For every guy whose ever had his ego hurt."

"How…noble," said Kim sarcastically.  Then she brightened.  "Maybe acting might turn out to be your thing."

Ron blew his knuckles.  "Among my many other talents."

"Like falling off buildings?"

Ron dropped his arms heavily at his sides.  "Okay.  That does now help my ego – at all."

"Aw," Kim feigned a look of repentance.  "How 'bout I buy you a taco.  Will that make it up?"

"That, and a pizza," said Ron.

A/N:  Nothing about Drakken's plot, but hopefully someone was weirded out by Ms. Pirelli.  Magical portal seaweed, whee!  Tay, we hear more about gigantic batteries next chapter.  Many thanks to everyone who reviewed!