Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls, no matter how much I wish I did. To bad for you. If I owned it, Tristan would still be around!
Spoilers: After the break-up with Dean.
Author's Note: This is just a straight up, one parter trory. Hope you enjoy!
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No Longer Unrequited Love
He watched her from afar- taking in her every feature like a dying man gasping for air. With intensity brimming from his gaze, he noted the intoxicating way her skirt hugged her slender hips, the way her brown locks fell across her forehead in a wave, the way she bit her lip daintily, focusing silently on the task at hand- getting all the books she needed into her book bag without severing a limb. It was a familiar sight to Tristan DuGrey's eyes, a sight he encountered everyday while passing by her locker, a sight that usually would have been enough for him.
But with a deep sigh, Tristan frowned, running a hand through his hair. He knew, knew with a concentrated passion, that somehow, something had changed, and no longer were the short glimpses into the world of Rory Gilmore enough for him; that they would never be enough. Suddenly, looking at Rory's stunning face was no longer as fulfilling as it used to be; suddenly, he wanted more. So much more.
He couldn't do it any longer. No. Somehow it just became too unbearable.... watching her silently in the middle of class, gazing at her longingly in his dreams, pretending she was his every night before he fell asleep. Pretending and watching; that's what he'd done. And for so long. But not anymore. No, he couldn't take it anymore. He felt as if his heart would explode into shreds if he didn't touch her. Kiss her. Hell, just hold her. That was all he wanted. That was all.
With long strides and a determined frown, Tristan made his way over towards her locker, slinging his book bag over his shoulder instinctively. His eyes were drawn to her, never leaving her form as she bent over, putting book after book into her bag, pausing momentarily to readjust something before continuing on with the process. His eyes never left Rory; no person, man or women, could stop him from his target. Every sly smile from some smutty girl was ignored as he drew closer towards his goal. Every 'hi' and 'what's up?' from one of his friends passing by was never acknowledged, simply disregarded as he took step after step, towards her. Her. The girl he had been dreaming about ever since that day at that party, ever since that kiss on that piano bench. He had wanted her for so long that no longer could he deny it.
Halting abruptly, Tristan paused at Rory's locker, not bothering to say a word. With a swiftness he didn't even know he had, Tristan slammed her locker shut as she bent down to put another book into her book bag, causing Rory's eyes to widen in surprise as she looked up from bended knees.
"What are you doing?" Her voice was startled and confused at the same time. He didn't bother to say anything as he watched her stand up. With a slight frown, she looked from her locker to Tristan in one disbelieving gaze, her arms crossing over her chest as she realized what he had done. "Hey! I wasn't done putting my books away yet! What'd you do that for?"
He didn't answer, his gaze smoldering.
Not noticing the intense burn shinning form Tristan's soft blue eyes, Rory continued her tirade, cheeks fuming red. "Jeez Tristan, this is a new kind of thing for you! Usually you're just annoying, now you're being plain old rude! What do you think you're doing, swaggering over here and slamming my locker shut like that, like you own the thing or something! Just because you've helped me open it once and a while doesn't mean you can just open and close it like you please! It does belong to somebody you know, and that somebody happened to be standing right in front of it, putting books into her book bag! What is wrong with you? Can't you just-"
"You want to know what's wrong with me?" Tristan's usual cocky tone was low and quiet, as he stared at Rory through fiery eyes. Rory stopped talking as she looked up at him in surprise, noticing the first time the way Tristan looked. His hair was even more messy than usual and a frown replaced his usual smug, smirking face.
But that wasn't the thing that caused Rory's heart to begin thumping un-rhythmically. No, it was his eyes. His azure colored orbs burning with passion and.... and.... want. She gulped. Why was it so hot all of a sudden? Who turned on the heat? Why was it so freakin' hot?
Rory took a step back. His gaze was still locked on hers and she couldn't bring herself to look away, feeling flustered and heated and confused all at the same time. There was want it in his eyes. She could see it as plain as day. And she could feel it too. Like a catching disease she could feel it flowing within her, infecting her mind and heart and body. He wanted her. Oh God, why was he looking at her like that? She wanted him to stop. She wanted him to turn away, to leave her to her humdrum life with her humdrum emotions that never caused her to feel like this. She didn't want this. No, she never asked for this kind of passion. She didn't want to want him.... this was wrong. So wrong. He was looking at her like he wanted to swallow her whole or something.
"You want to know what's wrong with me?" Tristan asked again, drinking in her silence and glazed looking eyes.
Rory bit her lip and took another step back. But this time he followed her. With another gulp she drew further and further from his body until she felt the surface of the lockers digging into her backside. She was stuck. God, she was stuck.
And he was drawing closer.
"Tristan...." She watched as his body stilled over her own, pressing her against the lockers. She wanted to run, she wanted to hide, she wanted to.... to move in closer.
Rory closed her eyes. No, this was wrong. So wrong. This was Tristan for crying out loud! Tristan DuGrey! The guy who annoyed her with no waking end. The guy she had kissed at that party after her break-up with Dean. The guy she swore she would never fall for .
But somehow did.
"Tristan please....." She was begging now, but she wasn't sure what she was begging for. Was she asking him to stay or to go away? To draw closer or to pull apart? The overly loud thumping of her heart wasn't helping any.
"What?" His voice was hushed, his eyes never leaving her own breathless blue. He slowly moved a little closer, his lips sweeping over her ear. His hands were on both sides of the lockers, holding her head in place, not letting her move. She had run away before, he wasn't going to let her do it again. "What do you want Rory?"
She closed her eyes. "I...."
He drew in closer towards her ear, touching it briefly with his lips. She drew in a breath as he did, closing her eyes tighter.
"What do you want Rory?" he questioned again, this time firmer. He needed to know the answer. Now, at that very moment. All games and innuendos were gone. All that was left were his raw feelings, his bitter yearning and want for the cream skinned goddess with the pale blue eyes. He needed to know if she wanted him, needed him, just as much as he needed her.
Rory slowly opened her eyes, letting out a breath of air she didn't even know she was holding in. "I don't know," she confessed truthfully.
The words seemed to hurt because Tristan winced. He drew away slightly.
Rory gulped, seeing the pain in held Tristan's eyes. Eyes so deep and blue that sometimes she wondered if she could get lost in them. For some reason, it felt wrong to see that pain mirrored in his dark orbs, so Rory fought to explain her words. "I... I don't know what I want from you Tristan. I just don't know. You're so.... different from anybody I know."
The explanation didn't help to ease his slowly breaking heart. "Different? By that you mean annoying."
Rory took in an intake of breath. "No. That's not what I meant."
He frowned, his eyes locking into her own with a quiet sadness and desperation. With a bitterness in his voice, he questioned, "Then what do you mean?"
Rory bit her lip. What did she mean? She wasn't so sure of that herself. Different. Yes, he was different. He made her feel things, see things, say things she never thought she could ever possibly say or do or feel. Whenever he was around, he made her feel light headed. Alive. Like a person who had been living a half-life for her sixteen years only to find her true inner being when he was by her side. He made her feel..... wanted. Beautiful. Crazy. Scared. So many bewildering and amazing things that she couldn't put all her feelings into words. All except one. Except one feeling....
Want. She wanted him with a burning passion,
But a question still stood in Rory's mind. Did she want him to know that? Did she want her secret to be out? That her, Rory Gilmore, wanted Tristan DuGrey? A guy with a reputation longer than Vietnam Memorial? A guy that de-virgined girl after girl before she ever walked the crowed Chilton walkways? A guy who was so high up in the social ladder of life that it would take her and eon to ever catch up? Did she want him to know? Would he break her heart if he did? Or would he bring it back to life, making Rory feel more alive than she'd ever felt in her entire life?
One look into his smoldering gaze and Rory knew the answer without a doubt in her mind.
"Tristan.... what I mean is.... I-I want you to kiss me." She blushed at her stuttering and bit her lips hesitation. What if he refused? What if he laughed? What if this was all just a game to him?
It wasn't a game to her. No, not any longer.
"What?" His voice held the disbelief he felt inside.
"Kiss me."
And just like that, Tristan didn't need another explanation. He leaned over, pressing his lips against hers with a passion and force that first caught Rory off guard. His kiss was wanting. Needling. His hands were in her hair, holding her head steady as he drove his tongue into her mouth, unmercifully and hard. Rory was thrown hard against the lockers, his body crushing her in a welcoming sensation. She could feel his want, his need, his passion, passing on though his lips, causing her to come alive like a person waking up from the dead.
Rory'd never kissed anyone like that before in her life. Her kisses with Dean were short, sweet and chaste, filled with their own special warmth and sensation. But never, ever, had she felt anything like the way Tristan was making her feel right now. With a vengeance, she pushed her lips back, hitting him with the same force and need he had thrown at her. No longer was she shocked and surprised, pinned up against the hard pressed lockers. Instead, she was doing a very un-Rory like thing- kissing him back with an equal amount of fervor and necessity, her arms suddenly falling around his waste, drawing him closer into her.
If Tristan was surprised by Rory's sign of force he didn't show it. Actually, he didn't show much of anything, his face was so tightly glued to hers. Together, their lips danced- wanting, begging, calling to each other. His body pressing against hers, pushing her back into the lockers as she struggled to break free from their hold. His hands were in her hair, one of them held on her face, drawing her closer into his mouth, almost as if he couldn't go deeper enough into her to please his quenching want.
Rory responded to his every feel and push with more intensity, tightening her arms around him, wanting to feel more. She had never kissed someone with such.... such complete passion before. Not Dean, not anyone. And for a moment she felt as if she were drowning in him, a slight moan escaping her lips. He heard it and kissed back, harder, making her moan again. Making her blood churn, faster, stronger, harder, making her want him like no other man.....
But then she stopped. She stopped. Something was amiss. Something wasn't right. Something was.... pushing up against her thigh.
Tristan drew away, feeling Rory's sudden pause. With a frown he took in a deep breath, his hand still held on her cheek. She was looking at him, wide eyed and surprised and.... and frightened. Oh God, was she frightened?
"What?" Tristan questioned after a long while, staring into those damn near hypnotizing eyes.
Rory gulped. She took a look behind him, and for the first time, Tristan noticed the fact that a crowd had appeared, watching the passionate debacle holding out in front of the lockers with surprise and intrigue.
"Fuck," he hissed under his breath. It wasn't suppose to be like this. There weren't suppose to be people watching them. It was supposed to be him and her alone, together, and without crowds or leers or gossip hungry girls and laughing, chuckling guys. Without his dagger throwing ex's giving her the evil glare. Without.... without that fear in her eyes. Goddamn it, that fear.
And all of a sudden, as that thought crossed Tristan's mind, all hell broke loose. No longer was the crowd silent and watchful. Hoots and cat calls were suddenly thrown from the dense crowd. Names too vulgar for Rory to ever hear were being thrown at her from angry, envious girls, wondering how that social outcast Mary could have possibly snagged such a prize like Tristan DuGrey.
Tristan gritted his teeth, focusing his eyes from the crowd and more towards Rory. "C'mon!" he called out to her, grasping onto her hand.
She looked at him, obviously taken aback for an instant. Finally though, she seemed to realize the dangerous position they had fallen into, bending down to grasp her book bag as Tristan began dragging her along.
Tristan pushed past the crowd, looking back at Rory once or twice as he began to run towards the exit of the school. Making sure she was right behind him and tightening the grip held on her hand, he made his way across the Chilton parking lot, heading over towards his car. He stopped as he reached his jet black BMW, trying to catch his breath.
It was then that he noticed the frightened look still held in Rory's gaze.
"It's okay," he tried to soothe between gasps of air, "they won't be coming out here."
She didn't say anything, her face growing pensive.
"What?"
"I...." She bit her lip, still staring at him wide eyed.
He tried to make his way towards her but she drew back, her face pale and ghostly.
And like that, Tristan realized. It wasn't the crowd she was afraid of, the leering people and gossip starters, it was him. Him.
He took in a deep breath, drawing all the strength he could from the air around him. With tightly clasped fists he closed his eyes, trying to calm the raging fires that were storming within his heart. Anger. Pain. Sadness. Hurt. And a deep sense of maddening. How could she think that he would ever do anything to hurt her? How?
"I can't believe this!" Tristan exploded, turning his body around from her. He ran a hand through his hair, unable to look at Rory's wide eyes. "Goddamn it!" He called out into the sky, his fists tightening in frustration. "Fuck!"
Rory just stood back, growing paler. In a hushed tone she whispered, "You're scaring me Tristan...."
And that was his last straw. With a deep feeling of resentment and bitterness he never knew was in him, Tristan swiveled around, staring at Rory with inequitable amounts of animosity. Arrows were being shot from his gaze straight into hers, and Rory had to take another step back at what she saw in his eyes. The unpleasantness. The anger. The pain. So much pain that it hurt to even look directly into his contorted face.
"Tristan....."
"Goddamn it Rory, stop it! Stop giving me that look!"
"I..." She paused and bit her lip, bafflement evident on her face. "I don't know what you're-"
"Fuck Rory! Don't tell me you don't know! Don't tell me that! That look in your eyes that screams out 'Tristan DuGrey is a bastard and I better get out of here before he comes and kills my puppy!' That look, damn it!"
"I'm not giving you that look," she murmured, her face paler still. "I'm not-"
"You just said it Rory! I scare you! That's why you pulled away earlier! Because you don't trust me. You think I'm going to do something to you! You think I'm gonna- damn, it's so unconceivable that I can't even say it. I'm not a rapist, Rory! I would have stopped if you told me to! I would never hurt you! I'd rather die than have that happen!"
"I know that!' Rory cried out, desperation in her voice. "I know that! You don't think I know that? I know that you care about me!"
"Then why did you pull away?" Tristan's voice was accusing, low, and Rory would have been upset at that tone from anyone else at any other moment in time; but right now she didn't even notice. The pain was so palpable in Tristan's gaze that she felt like she would die just by looking at them. Had she caused that? What had she done?
"I- I don't understand what you're asking me. I- I pulled away because of.... of the... there- there were people there and they- I mean I saw-"
"Don't lie to me." His voice was rough, and he took in a deep breath, running a hand through his tangled mane of gold. "You saw the crowd after you pulled away. After you thought I was going to hurt you."
Rory closed her eyes. "No. I never thought that. I- I know that you'd never.... you could never..." Oh why couldn't she finish one simple sentence?
"If you know, than why did you pull away?"
She gulped, unable to answer. Rory drew her gaze down towards her shoes, biting her lip gently. She knew the answer to his question, yet she was too afraid and too embarrassed to answer.
Tristan took her silence as a whole other reason in itself. She didn't want him like he wanted her and that whole kiss had been a mistake. One colossal mistake. He had scared her by his aggressive actions, and she had simply kissed him back because.... well, he didn't know why she had kissed back. But that didn't matter. Rory didn't want him.
And the pain grew deeper in his heart as that thought echoed through his mind.
With the taste of her strawberry lip gloss still tingling in his mouth, Tristan turned to go, ready to leave Rory alone once and for all. He wasn't stupid. She had made her feelings clear by her silence and he wasn't about to hang around where he wasn't wanted. Turning his back towards her and reaching out to his car, he suddenly stopped as he heard the sound of his name on her lips.
"Tristan, don't go!" He felt her gentle touch pulling him away from his car, causing him to turn around. The feeling he saw in her eyes made him shiver.
"Why not? It's obvious I'm not wanted here."
She gave him a serous look. "I want you Tristan. Is that why you're so upset? Oh God, I want you."
He took in her confession in silence. "Are you scared of me?" he whispered softly.
She shook her head. "No."
That minimal, one word answer made his heart soar towards the heavens. "Then why did you-"
"I was scared. But not of you," she quickly added, looking up at him for emphasis. "I could never be scared of you."
"Then why...?"
"Because...." She blushed, glancing down at her toes, not daring to look into his eyes. With a sigh, she mumbled softly, almost so softly that Tristan was unable to hear her words, "I've made someone do that before."
Tristan frowned, confused. "Do what?"
She blushed redder. "Your... I mean.... I- I- oh Lord...."
"What?"
Rory closed her eyes, not wanting to say it out right. "I- I felt it on my thigh and I panicked and...." She opened her eyes slowly. "I've never made anyone do that before." She pointedly looked down, not at her toes, but at his.....
"Oh." Now it was Tristan's turn to blush red. "Ah."
"Yeah, ah." Rory glanced away. "I just got kinda.... freaked... and well, I'm not that kind of girl who usually makes guys get all....." She let the statement hang for a minute, trying to find the right words to put the subject eloquently, "...excited." There. She said it. But she doubted she said it eloquently. After all, she wasn't exactly Shakespeare.
Still blushing red and growing redder by he second, Rory refused to meet Tristan's eyes. She fidgeted uncomfortably, feeling younger than a five year old, pig-tail wearing, little girl. How could just one guy make her feel so mature and beautiful one minute, and so unbelievably young and naive the next? What was it about Tristan that made her so..... emotionally unstable?
Finally, after a long time of looking down and not hearing a response for Tristan, Rory gathered up her courage, bringing her chin slowly upward until it was no longer held on the concrete of the parking lot. She was staggered at the look of adoration she found on the gaze of the golden haired god before her, confused for a second at the thought that he was looking at her like that.
It was a new feeling, seeing Tristan stare at her like a man completely and utterly fallen. Usually he was wearing a smug frown, an amused grin, a patronizing glance, but now.... now it was hard to imagine the boy she had sparred with just the other day. Had Tristan always looked so.... perfect? So beautiful ....?
"Rory...." Tristan's melodious voice made her feel all warm and fluttery.
"Hmm?"
"Your gorgeous. Whether you know it or nor, every guy on the face the Earth you've ever had contact with has thought of you in a..... in a sexual."
Rory blushed and looked away. She felt complimented and embarrassed all at the same time. Rory had never felt like a sexy type of girl, yet somehow, she felt like she was when she was around him. And that was as frightening as it was exhilarating. She didn't know whether to turn around in shame or to smile at him in pleasure. Instead, she opted for neither, saying in a whisper, "I'm not gorgeous Tristan."
Tristan couldn't help but smile softly at her words. Was this girl for real? Couldn't she see? Didn't she know? She was like a thunderous wave of grace and elegance and femininity; like an angel with piercing blue eyes. She was so beautiful, so beautiful, that sometimes it was hard for him to breathe when he was around her. How did she not know that?
"You are beautiful."
"No I'm-"
"Yes, yes you are." He wasn't going to let her win this argument. "And I'm not going to lie to you. I've thought of you in a more than a pure way before. I've thought of you by my side, lying next to me in my bed in the morning, your naked skin pressing up against me."
Rory's eyes grew wide, wider than ever before, her lips slightly parting in a shock. Her face grew a bright fire engine red and she practically trembled as the words fully hit her. No one had ever confessed something like that to her before! Embarrassment and disorientation filled Rory's gut as she bit her lip in nervousness. Was it normal to have bounding butterflies bouncing off your stomach?
Not noticing Rory's stunned silence, Tristan continued on with what he was saying. "Rory, I've thought of you in that way. But listen, you have to understand that I would never, I mean never force you into anything. That I would never go further than you want me to. That you mean so much more to me than a good time, so much more to me than just physical attraction."
"I know that Tristan," Rory interrupted, giving him a small smile. "I've always known that. You don't have to explain anything to me."
"I feel that I do. My past-"
"Is exactly that. Your past. I don't care about that, I care about you."
Tristan took in a deep breath, trying to understand what she had just uttered. She cared about him? Rory Gilmore cared about him? Was he dreaming? If he was, he never wanted to wake up . He'd take blissful sleep any day over insufferable reality.
"I... I'm not exactly sure when it happened, but somewhere along the lines of hateful anger and imagining decapitation, you kinda.... I don't know, I kinda...." Rory swallowed, closing her eyes tightly, trying to become courageous as she felt the words stuck in her throat. She took in a deep breath, her voice becoming low and soft, her eyes filled with hesitation. "I love you," he murmured truthfully, unable to deny herself and her feelings another moment longer. "I think I've always loved you."
Tristan stood there silently, a feeling of disbelief and warmth creeping through his soul. With a trembling smile, he reached out to touch her delicate face, taking in her undeniable beauty. She loved him? He had been dying to hear those words for as long as he could remember, and finally, they had come.
With a small smile, he leaned in closer towards her, his face merely inches away from her soft, satin lips. "I love you too," he confessed, taking in her lips and skin and long brown hair.
She gave him a tremulous smile. "You do?"
He couldn't help but chuckle at her child-like question. "I do."
With a bigger smile, Rory wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her face into the Chilton uniform he was adorning. She took in deep, long breaths, never wanting to leave his sweet scent of cologne and aftershave. That was the way heaven must smell like, she couldn't help but think, as she snuggled into his embrace.
"Rory, look at me."
Rory lifted her head, tears threatening to fall from her face. With a kind look, Tristan leaned over, giving her forehead a soft kiss. She smiled wider at the feel of his tender action, and the tears fell from her eyes freely.
"Are you crying?"
"Yes."
He frowned, mystified. "Why?"
She smiled softly. "Because I love you. And this feeling scares me."
"It scares me too," he answered truthfully, feeling her quivering figure pressed up against him.
"Yeah?" She gave him a hesitant smile. "But you've been with so many girls...."
"I've never felt this way before Rory. With any girl other than you."
Rory nodded, laying her head against his hard, muscular chest. With a deep feeling of happiness, she couldn't help but notice the thumping of Tristan's heart as she closed her eyes. It was rapidly pounding, mimicking her own.
She believed him.
"I'd never hurt you Rory," Tristan murmured, leaning over to brush her ear.
"I know that."
"Then are you still scared?"
Rory bit her lip. "Yes."
"Why?" Tristan's voice was strained as he asked, "Is it because of me? Of the things I've done before? Of the girls I've been with...?"
Rory looked at him with innocence and truth. " I told you Tristan," she insisted, reaching out to touch his chiseled face, "none of that stuff matters. I love you."
Tristan smiled. "I'll never get used to hearing you say that."
"Well I do. And I think I always will. I'm just scared because...." she looked up at his eyes and gave him an unbearably sad smile, "I'm scared that this will all go away. Or that you'll just disappear. Or that something will happen to make you stop loving me...."
He chuckled. "I could never, ever stop loving you Rory Leigh Gilmore. I love you more than life itself."
"Hmm... say that again." Her voice had a dreamlike quality to it as she leaned up against him.
"I. Love. You. And I always will." With a slow smile, Tristan looked down, catching Rory's eyes with an intense gaze. Together, they looked at each other, both crystal blue orbs telling the other the same story of deep longing and passion and love. Agonizingly slowly, they leaned into each other, their breaths coming out in short gasps. With one last fleeting glance, they both smiled and leaned closer.....
Their lips met again and for the second time that day, they kissed, their hearts thumping rhythmically together in a moment of utter connection, of sweet adoration, of no longer unrequited love.
End