JK Rowling wrote and owns the magic
They are not mine, Harry & CO
I have no rights, I make no money
This verse is just, so you know
Andolyn
Vow
If somebody, anybody, storms out on one like that, almost unheard, almost unseen, especially after apparently having watched that other for a while, there is this unwritten rule to let the watcher gracefully slip away. A rule to shroud oneself in romantic melancholy and pine over all the sorrowful 'what-ifs' that haunt the mind, when it feels beauty and happiness slip away, into the shadowland of quiet and sleepless desperation.
But, since Ari never was one to abide any kind of rules, romantic or otherwise, she bolted for the gate, raced down the staircase, tripped nearly, twice, over the hem of her robes before she realised it might be a good idea to -lift- them, and came to a dead stop, panting like an overworked greyhound, at the bottom of it. She stared the wide, barely lit hallway left and right, but there was absolutely no-one to be seen. This hallway was at the shadow side of the castle, facing east, and already stars twinkled in the darkening sky, with the sickle moon warping shadows through the stained-glass windows.
"Damn-" Ari swore under her breath, scrutinising the line-up of empty armors against the wall in-between arches of intersecting hallways and closed doors, guarding nothing in particular.
The hall turned cold- a draft came from somewhere, but it was not the draft of any door opening. From one of the walls stepped the terrible figure of the blood spattered Baron, straight, tall, with his empty dead-fish eyes and the voice that could surely frieze the blood in one's veins.
"Madam?" the spectre whispered, questioningly.
"O, hi, Baron." Ari coughed and caught her breath. "Did you see where he went?"
"Where whom went?"
"Sev-"
The Baron put his arms behind his back, raised one brow and hovered a bit closer.
"Severus- Professor Snape- At least, I think it was him! Damned snake was just too quick for me to catch! He was watching me."
"Was he now?"
The ghost of a smile played around the Baron's lips.
"Are you -sure-" again hovering slightly closer, "it was him?"
Ari nodded, shivering. She was also quite sure her lips were turning blue and she would sneeze right through the deceased nobleman if he would not back off.
"Quite sure. I bet there are very few people at Hogwarts as silent on his feet as he is!"
"Well-" the Baron whispered in a tone that he probably meant to be kind, but still left his lips nearly a threat. He turned to the empty armors. His frosty voice became harsh.
"Have -you- lot seen anything?"
Left and right from where Ari stood, with one screeching, rusty shriek an a loud metallic clunk, about forty empty helmets turned their visors towards Ari.
"The Professor?" the pale ghost asked.
And with that same sound, only much louder, forty steel gauntlets were raised and pointed to Ari's left.
Ari could not help but laugh, a friendly, happy sound, echoing somewhat through the hollow corridors.
"Thank you guys- but I'll never catch up with him-"
Her face fell when she realised it.
"Won't you?" the Baron asked with a faint chuckle and his own hand raised and pointing. Ari narrowed her eyes at the spirit, took the hem of her robes and started running, showing quite some leg while she did. She blushed when a few of the armors let go of cheerful wolf whistles.
Darting through the deserted halls of Hogwarts, Ari had no idea what so ever where she was going, following the pointed fingers of the armors, tilting torches at crossings and shadows that took the most spectacular angles to draw her attention and sent her on her way. Light or dark, devoid of people or no, the whole castle seemed to come alive at the sound of Ari's quick footfalls, guiding her steadily down.
But she still feared she was not fast enough.
Suddenly, a shadow leaped up at her, forming hideous hands, grabbing her at the waist, setting her firmly atop a smoothly polished spiralling banister- Ari slid down at neck braking speed like a giddy little girl and before she could scream or even -think- of becoming scared, another shadow caught her and gently set her down, hiding her within its darkness.
"Blast! Alohomora!"
Still smooth yet terribly annoyed a voice was heard, just around the next corner. Ari tiptoed close and peeked, her shrouding shadow pulling itself back, slithering away, reshaping itself into its natural form.
In the light of one torch, Snape stood. Tall, black, pale, eyes intense enough to -almost- burn holes right trough one of the most ordinary wooden doors one could find in the castle. Not strengthened with wrought iron, no special hinges or anything. Just a couple of planks and a door handle, defiantly refusing entrance. The torch spluttered as if it barely could contain itself. Little sparks flew wildly away from it, popping with little shrieks that sounded something like snickering.
"Oh -do- shut up!" Snape grouched at the thing, quickly losing his temper. Ari quietly stepped into the light.
"Having a problem?"
Snape spun round, one flurry of blackness against the dark, wand out, eyes taking her in so intensely Ari was forced to step back.
He pulled back and straightened upon seeing her, eyes narrowing, looking over her shoulder for a moment.
"Oh, it is -you-." He said coldly and turned to the offending door. Almost not interested he said: "Please allow me to advise you, Miss Philpot, not to appear too sudden behind people around here. It could be -hazardous."
'So', Ari thought, 'It's back to a cold drawl and 'miss Philpot', eh?'
Ari crossed her arms in front of her.
"You seem a bit on edge, for someone who has just come home, safely."
Narrowed eyes flickered over her, not missing the barb about safety- Making Ari realise she would not be able to use that particular pun as often as she had hoped.
"Something is wrong. This door won't open." Snape tapped his wand against his lips, pouting.
"Have you tried the handle?"
Testily he turned at her again.
"Spare me your uncalled for wit, Madame, and think! For I hope you do realise that -if- this simple door is so hexed as to not even let -me- pass, we are faced with a serious breach of security here! I will have to inform Moody and Dumbledore immediately!"
Storming dramatically past her, so close she -had- to step back or collide and brushed away by his robes, she called after him.
"Or perhaps that door just has an off day- Perhaps it thinks it's the holydays still- and not taking things so seriously, yet."
Snape spun round in mid stride. Voice low and drawling, he hissed with an expression on his face that probably would have his students bolting for the nearest exit.
"What do you know of this."
But Ari was not a fifteen year old girl scolded by a furious teacher. Ari was a young woman in on a joke this man had absolutely no idea he was being subjected to. She felt a bit giddy still, in spite of not being fifteen, and smiled sweetly up at the tall man. The armors apparently chose that exact moment to jump to attention with an almighty screech that sounded at least twice as loud as need be.
Immediately, Snape grabbed Ari's wrist in an iron hold and pulled her into the shadow next to him, intently listening, scanning for the unknown intruder.
"They are overdoing it." Ari muttered.
Snape let go of Ari's wrist as if bitten. Even paler than usual and fuming he hissed at her.
"Merlin's' beard, woman what do you -know- of this!"
Rubbing her wrist Ari looked the angry wizard in the eye, without backing off.
"All I know is somebody should put some oil in those armors."
"The -ARMORS!"
"You are spitting again."
Snape stared at Ari wit a furious burning, took several deep breaths and calmed himself with great effort."
"And what, pray, has brought you in such good grace with the -armors- that they should appraise you with their needs and movements!"
A soft, almost whispering screech came from the simple door. Snape whirred around to find it slightly ajar, in a shy sort of way.
"Or the damn -doors- for that matter!"
But Ari simply went to the heart of the matter at hand.
"I take it," she said, "that the headmaster gave you his little sermon on proper behaviour between Muggles and Slytherin Heads of houses too?"
Snape went absolutely rigid, the angry fire in his eyes went out immediately and it was to Ari as if she stared up in the black variety of the Baron's dead fish eyes.
Now she -was- afraid.
"Madam- what the Headmaster wishes to discuss with his various members of staff -in private- should remain so. Private. I bid you a good night."
While speaking, Snape put his wand back within the folds of his sleeve, turned, and could barely save his nose from an angry punch while the little door slammed shut with a loud bang.
Snape turned to Ari again.
"What," he said slowly, "have you -done-!"
The man moved and spoke, but the eyes were empty. No panic or fear or humour, anger or amusement- none of the emotions she had seen flashing in those onyx depths- nothing. If those black orbs were the mirror of this man's soul, he had none.
"Nothing- I swear- But it -was- you who was watching me- right?"
No movement, no nod- but no shake of the head either. Ari hugged herself in a protective gesture that screamed her vulnerability.
"You were, there, up on the tower, and you just disappeared."
Ari took a step closer. She knew she sounded hurt, she -was- hurt. But there was something far more important going on. Something inside this man was dying- something precious- And she would -not- let it happen!
"Go to your rooms, Miss Philpot. The hallways are not always -safe-, at night."
Ari shrugged. "Oh, I don't know about that. I think the castle likes me."
The dark eyes widened, just a little and again the man turned to the door.
"I see- Well, in that case, I shan't offer to be your guide. Goodnight, Madam."
"Well I don't see! Why did you run away!"
Snape tried the handle and sighed. "Would you please be so kind as to instruct this -door- to behave appropriately to its station an let me pass!"
Hugging herself more tightly, Ari shook her head and looked down.
"The holydays are not over yet, you know. You could at least be -civil- with me- At least until the other teachers arrive-"
"Madam, if this door does not open right -now-, I'll blast it to firewood!"
He did not even turn to state it. The door trembled and the wooden panels squeaked a bit.
"Oh, let him go- for all the good it will do-"
The door finally opened, and Snape carefully pushed it wide before he attempted to follow the downwards staircase behind it.
Ari chuckled at that, she could not help herself. The chuckle was also a nice camouflage for the sob she felt burning in her throat.
She turned away without checking if he finally was allowed to cross. Suddenly, Snape's voice rang out from behind her.
"By the way- You're off key."
The door closed with a snap, and this time Ari knew better than to follow. She smiled sadly, while she started the attempt to find her rooms on her own in this maze. That parting little barb was probably the only way Snape could afford to let her know that, yes, he had been up that tower and yes, he had been standing there, a while even, watching, listening. Something one does not do if the person one looks at means nothing to the observer.
"Dumbledore is -wrong-," Ari muttered. All wrong. It wasn't the coldness of a self-controlled spy she'd just witnessed in those deep black eyes- It was death itself. Dead while alive- shut away from any kindness- any emotion. Ari had seen it twice before. In the eyes of victims of torture.
Broken people.
Psychiatrists had been able to bring the woman back from wherever she had been hiding within her mind. But the man, when he had realised his family was safe, had hung himself.
Wandering back through the halls, being startled by torches that sprung to life while she passed, painted people that waved at her from behind their frames and the occasional ghost popping his head through wall or floor, Ari realised something else as well.
The way The Bloody Baron had been hovering near Snape during the Gathering, the way that ghost had regarded her when he realised Ari -liked- the man- The same look of nothingness the head of Slytherin House shared with its spectre. The Baron was not protecting her- he was helping her because- Because she just might be able- Because he had seen something within the man react to her?
The now familiar cold poured from the grey stone, preceding the Baron's arrival. Ari looked around, and she saw the creature beaconing for her, stern and stiff, nothing readable on his countenance.
"You should go -left- here," he whispered.
"How long has Professor Snape been shutting himself off from the world?" Ari asked, bluntly.
"You are clever."
"Somebody has to be, everybody else seems merely evasive!"
"He came here as a child the same age as all children do. He was not exceptional, for a Slytherin, perhaps a little more sensitive and intelligent than most. It were dark times for the living, and the ambitious were easily lured to where they suspected power was to be found. After his graduation, I saw him not before he came to ask- no, -beg- the Headmaster for guidance back into the light. What was asked for, was granted- But the double life began then and there, nearly seventeen years ago. The Professor was barely a man, troubled and unstable."
"What happened to these people, seventeen years ago."
"The one they call Voldemort happened."
"And that one is so terrible he's got everyone crawling? What -is- he!"
"A seducer. One that promises the downtrodden all, the strong more. He fulfils the dark desires of the heart and replaces failure with power, regrets with vengeance and guilt with pleasure. He corrupts the innocent and elevates the corrupt. Through those he binds to himself, he, with means unknown to me, draws a power to sustain himself. As you have heard, his goal is immortality in the flesh- and he will leave no means untried to reach that goal. He will destroy all whom he cannot gather. And in the process, wipe out all that is good in a man."
"But Severus is destroying himself! He apparently doesn't need a Voldemort to do it for him! Why!"
"Why are you so sure he is destroying himself?"
"Because I've just seen him with a look in his eyes I've seen with people who were broken!"
"Men like Severus Snape do not break. They endure. And then they die."
"Give up, you mean."
The spectre looked away.
"Snape is a spy. If he shows his heart to his enemies, they will wrench it from his chest and either kill him for the traitor he has become, or truly make him one of their own. Therefore, he has decided he is better of without a heart to begin with."
"But he -does- have feelings. I've seen him -hurt-. Some of the others were not very kind to him and he -felt- it."
And here the Baron smiled. "If a night and a day of your company can draw that much from a withering tree, there might be something to blossom left with the arrival of spring."
Ari shivered, but not from the could.
"You are very poetic, Baron. But the Headmaster does not seem to agree with you."
"The headmaster is fully prepared to sacrifice the one to be able to save all."
"All -but- one, then," Ari answered with a bitter tone in her voice she barely recognised.
"The Headmaster has been able to bring the Professor back from the abyss once, by showing trust, friendship, parental love and guidance, even. He trusts both himself -and- the Professor to be able to heal any wound either will receive in the upcoming times. But the Headmaster is Gryffindor. And the wounds most of Gryffindor receive are either deadly or superficial. They do not touch the core, the soul of a man easily. The Slytherin have a tendency to keep open the wounds that grind into their very being, their soul, feeling so much deeper than most are even able to perceive. Snape was barely twenty years old when he came back. His conscious was black and his craving for absolution great. And still so naïve as to believe that payback would indeed absolve him. The Headmaster won't be able to bring him back, this time. Especially not if he persists in the notion that his other charges, the children, the conspirators, you, can only be protected if the Professor is not allowed to let his mask slip- not ever. Not until it is over."
"But that will take too long."
"It is my fear that it might. But you-" the spectre silently, without moving really, hovered closer. "You are different. You are not from this world, you are exotic. Refreshing. You might be able to make people think. You are very hard to intimidate and you reach for the emotion, not the threat."
"If I reach out to Severus directly, the Headmaster will try to stop me- And Severus will shy away."
"You understand."
Ari chuckled. "No I don't. But I can be a real pain in the ass if need be- I might even be able to get our serious Severus laugh from time to time."
"Be a ray of hope, child. That is all the lifeline he needs. Do not turn away."
"Like they turned from you?"
The Baron looked away and backed into the wall. "You need to go left, here." His whispering voice told her without giving her an answer.
Not that Ari truly had expected one. So it was to the cold grey stone of the empty passage Ari whispered, knowing she Would be heard.
"I promise, Baron. I will not let go, I won't turn away and I won't hurt him. I swear it."
*************************************************************************************************
Hi Sianna! Hope you like the coming chapters as well, even if they might be -both- funny and sad (I hope, that is what I mean them to be anyways). Have you ever looked at Mr. Rickman's hands? I mean really- They are so sexy it just isn't fair! I just saw Die hard again (I'm the lucky owner of the DVD), and although I'm not particularly fond of bad boys holding guns, the way he does it- swoon-!
Thanks for the huge compliment of 'making Snape seem real'!
Juniper Holly, thanks and no, I do not mind, feel free to use the quote as you please.
Crimsonthorne, look back in chapter 7, where Ari tells Snape about her life: "I like to paint. It's a rather serious hobby- I hope to become a professional artist one day." I'll admit, it's subtle, but it is there and it was -put- there to make Ari able to start an art class.
Ozma, thanks. (Everybody, go read Ozma's stories about Filch, they are lovely!)
Gwyn, perhaps the reasoning was a bit shaky, but Ari dead in the Muggle world will mean her family is a little protected and Ari will not have to give anything away about her stay at Hogwarts. Or why. On the other hand, she will be of little use to Harry dead in the Wizarding World- and good old Voldie is clever enough to -know- what has been going on (after giving his faulty Death Eaters a run for their lives off course).
Thanks for all your wonderful comments, starbrite, bluemeanies (do I detect a Yellow Submarine theme here? And, yes, I know! But that is what you get if you put so many people in one little room), Strega Brava, The Slayer (and if you -ever- threaten me with Rubber Duckies again, I'll make Elmer Fudd hunt them down! (grin)), Sophie W, (hi Sophie W!), mysteriousways, Troy, asprosdracos (how about Doumbles for Doumbledore, Pottie for- no! stop, Andolyn, -bad- Andolyn, now I'm getting lame (grin), Piri Malfoy, Lyndsi, Slytherin Sister (thanks!), twirlgirl04 (I'm trying, but unfortunately, reality intercedes…), Leila C. Snape, Arya (I do not hate, but any kind of bigotry comes close…), jejasu (she -won't abandon him! no way), Gwyn, Anna, slytherin girl (hi, slytherin girl!) and Favila (nice to hear from you again!)
And thank you all for picking up on the Eleanor Rigby theme!
And also a humble bow and big hug for any comments made on my other tale, especially Steve!
They are not mine, Harry & CO
I have no rights, I make no money
This verse is just, so you know
Andolyn
Vow
If somebody, anybody, storms out on one like that, almost unheard, almost unseen, especially after apparently having watched that other for a while, there is this unwritten rule to let the watcher gracefully slip away. A rule to shroud oneself in romantic melancholy and pine over all the sorrowful 'what-ifs' that haunt the mind, when it feels beauty and happiness slip away, into the shadowland of quiet and sleepless desperation.
But, since Ari never was one to abide any kind of rules, romantic or otherwise, she bolted for the gate, raced down the staircase, tripped nearly, twice, over the hem of her robes before she realised it might be a good idea to -lift- them, and came to a dead stop, panting like an overworked greyhound, at the bottom of it. She stared the wide, barely lit hallway left and right, but there was absolutely no-one to be seen. This hallway was at the shadow side of the castle, facing east, and already stars twinkled in the darkening sky, with the sickle moon warping shadows through the stained-glass windows.
"Damn-" Ari swore under her breath, scrutinising the line-up of empty armors against the wall in-between arches of intersecting hallways and closed doors, guarding nothing in particular.
The hall turned cold- a draft came from somewhere, but it was not the draft of any door opening. From one of the walls stepped the terrible figure of the blood spattered Baron, straight, tall, with his empty dead-fish eyes and the voice that could surely frieze the blood in one's veins.
"Madam?" the spectre whispered, questioningly.
"O, hi, Baron." Ari coughed and caught her breath. "Did you see where he went?"
"Where whom went?"
"Sev-"
The Baron put his arms behind his back, raised one brow and hovered a bit closer.
"Severus- Professor Snape- At least, I think it was him! Damned snake was just too quick for me to catch! He was watching me."
"Was he now?"
The ghost of a smile played around the Baron's lips.
"Are you -sure-" again hovering slightly closer, "it was him?"
Ari nodded, shivering. She was also quite sure her lips were turning blue and she would sneeze right through the deceased nobleman if he would not back off.
"Quite sure. I bet there are very few people at Hogwarts as silent on his feet as he is!"
"Well-" the Baron whispered in a tone that he probably meant to be kind, but still left his lips nearly a threat. He turned to the empty armors. His frosty voice became harsh.
"Have -you- lot seen anything?"
Left and right from where Ari stood, with one screeching, rusty shriek an a loud metallic clunk, about forty empty helmets turned their visors towards Ari.
"The Professor?" the pale ghost asked.
And with that same sound, only much louder, forty steel gauntlets were raised and pointed to Ari's left.
Ari could not help but laugh, a friendly, happy sound, echoing somewhat through the hollow corridors.
"Thank you guys- but I'll never catch up with him-"
Her face fell when she realised it.
"Won't you?" the Baron asked with a faint chuckle and his own hand raised and pointing. Ari narrowed her eyes at the spirit, took the hem of her robes and started running, showing quite some leg while she did. She blushed when a few of the armors let go of cheerful wolf whistles.
Darting through the deserted halls of Hogwarts, Ari had no idea what so ever where she was going, following the pointed fingers of the armors, tilting torches at crossings and shadows that took the most spectacular angles to draw her attention and sent her on her way. Light or dark, devoid of people or no, the whole castle seemed to come alive at the sound of Ari's quick footfalls, guiding her steadily down.
But she still feared she was not fast enough.
Suddenly, a shadow leaped up at her, forming hideous hands, grabbing her at the waist, setting her firmly atop a smoothly polished spiralling banister- Ari slid down at neck braking speed like a giddy little girl and before she could scream or even -think- of becoming scared, another shadow caught her and gently set her down, hiding her within its darkness.
"Blast! Alohomora!"
Still smooth yet terribly annoyed a voice was heard, just around the next corner. Ari tiptoed close and peeked, her shrouding shadow pulling itself back, slithering away, reshaping itself into its natural form.
In the light of one torch, Snape stood. Tall, black, pale, eyes intense enough to -almost- burn holes right trough one of the most ordinary wooden doors one could find in the castle. Not strengthened with wrought iron, no special hinges or anything. Just a couple of planks and a door handle, defiantly refusing entrance. The torch spluttered as if it barely could contain itself. Little sparks flew wildly away from it, popping with little shrieks that sounded something like snickering.
"Oh -do- shut up!" Snape grouched at the thing, quickly losing his temper. Ari quietly stepped into the light.
"Having a problem?"
Snape spun round, one flurry of blackness against the dark, wand out, eyes taking her in so intensely Ari was forced to step back.
He pulled back and straightened upon seeing her, eyes narrowing, looking over her shoulder for a moment.
"Oh, it is -you-." He said coldly and turned to the offending door. Almost not interested he said: "Please allow me to advise you, Miss Philpot, not to appear too sudden behind people around here. It could be -hazardous."
'So', Ari thought, 'It's back to a cold drawl and 'miss Philpot', eh?'
Ari crossed her arms in front of her.
"You seem a bit on edge, for someone who has just come home, safely."
Narrowed eyes flickered over her, not missing the barb about safety- Making Ari realise she would not be able to use that particular pun as often as she had hoped.
"Something is wrong. This door won't open." Snape tapped his wand against his lips, pouting.
"Have you tried the handle?"
Testily he turned at her again.
"Spare me your uncalled for wit, Madame, and think! For I hope you do realise that -if- this simple door is so hexed as to not even let -me- pass, we are faced with a serious breach of security here! I will have to inform Moody and Dumbledore immediately!"
Storming dramatically past her, so close she -had- to step back or collide and brushed away by his robes, she called after him.
"Or perhaps that door just has an off day- Perhaps it thinks it's the holydays still- and not taking things so seriously, yet."
Snape spun round in mid stride. Voice low and drawling, he hissed with an expression on his face that probably would have his students bolting for the nearest exit.
"What do you know of this."
But Ari was not a fifteen year old girl scolded by a furious teacher. Ari was a young woman in on a joke this man had absolutely no idea he was being subjected to. She felt a bit giddy still, in spite of not being fifteen, and smiled sweetly up at the tall man. The armors apparently chose that exact moment to jump to attention with an almighty screech that sounded at least twice as loud as need be.
Immediately, Snape grabbed Ari's wrist in an iron hold and pulled her into the shadow next to him, intently listening, scanning for the unknown intruder.
"They are overdoing it." Ari muttered.
Snape let go of Ari's wrist as if bitten. Even paler than usual and fuming he hissed at her.
"Merlin's' beard, woman what do you -know- of this!"
Rubbing her wrist Ari looked the angry wizard in the eye, without backing off.
"All I know is somebody should put some oil in those armors."
"The -ARMORS!"
"You are spitting again."
Snape stared at Ari wit a furious burning, took several deep breaths and calmed himself with great effort."
"And what, pray, has brought you in such good grace with the -armors- that they should appraise you with their needs and movements!"
A soft, almost whispering screech came from the simple door. Snape whirred around to find it slightly ajar, in a shy sort of way.
"Or the damn -doors- for that matter!"
But Ari simply went to the heart of the matter at hand.
"I take it," she said, "that the headmaster gave you his little sermon on proper behaviour between Muggles and Slytherin Heads of houses too?"
Snape went absolutely rigid, the angry fire in his eyes went out immediately and it was to Ari as if she stared up in the black variety of the Baron's dead fish eyes.
Now she -was- afraid.
"Madam- what the Headmaster wishes to discuss with his various members of staff -in private- should remain so. Private. I bid you a good night."
While speaking, Snape put his wand back within the folds of his sleeve, turned, and could barely save his nose from an angry punch while the little door slammed shut with a loud bang.
Snape turned to Ari again.
"What," he said slowly, "have you -done-!"
The man moved and spoke, but the eyes were empty. No panic or fear or humour, anger or amusement- none of the emotions she had seen flashing in those onyx depths- nothing. If those black orbs were the mirror of this man's soul, he had none.
"Nothing- I swear- But it -was- you who was watching me- right?"
No movement, no nod- but no shake of the head either. Ari hugged herself in a protective gesture that screamed her vulnerability.
"You were, there, up on the tower, and you just disappeared."
Ari took a step closer. She knew she sounded hurt, she -was- hurt. But there was something far more important going on. Something inside this man was dying- something precious- And she would -not- let it happen!
"Go to your rooms, Miss Philpot. The hallways are not always -safe-, at night."
Ari shrugged. "Oh, I don't know about that. I think the castle likes me."
The dark eyes widened, just a little and again the man turned to the door.
"I see- Well, in that case, I shan't offer to be your guide. Goodnight, Madam."
"Well I don't see! Why did you run away!"
Snape tried the handle and sighed. "Would you please be so kind as to instruct this -door- to behave appropriately to its station an let me pass!"
Hugging herself more tightly, Ari shook her head and looked down.
"The holydays are not over yet, you know. You could at least be -civil- with me- At least until the other teachers arrive-"
"Madam, if this door does not open right -now-, I'll blast it to firewood!"
He did not even turn to state it. The door trembled and the wooden panels squeaked a bit.
"Oh, let him go- for all the good it will do-"
The door finally opened, and Snape carefully pushed it wide before he attempted to follow the downwards staircase behind it.
Ari chuckled at that, she could not help herself. The chuckle was also a nice camouflage for the sob she felt burning in her throat.
She turned away without checking if he finally was allowed to cross. Suddenly, Snape's voice rang out from behind her.
"By the way- You're off key."
The door closed with a snap, and this time Ari knew better than to follow. She smiled sadly, while she started the attempt to find her rooms on her own in this maze. That parting little barb was probably the only way Snape could afford to let her know that, yes, he had been up that tower and yes, he had been standing there, a while even, watching, listening. Something one does not do if the person one looks at means nothing to the observer.
"Dumbledore is -wrong-," Ari muttered. All wrong. It wasn't the coldness of a self-controlled spy she'd just witnessed in those deep black eyes- It was death itself. Dead while alive- shut away from any kindness- any emotion. Ari had seen it twice before. In the eyes of victims of torture.
Broken people.
Psychiatrists had been able to bring the woman back from wherever she had been hiding within her mind. But the man, when he had realised his family was safe, had hung himself.
Wandering back through the halls, being startled by torches that sprung to life while she passed, painted people that waved at her from behind their frames and the occasional ghost popping his head through wall or floor, Ari realised something else as well.
The way The Bloody Baron had been hovering near Snape during the Gathering, the way that ghost had regarded her when he realised Ari -liked- the man- The same look of nothingness the head of Slytherin House shared with its spectre. The Baron was not protecting her- he was helping her because- Because she just might be able- Because he had seen something within the man react to her?
The now familiar cold poured from the grey stone, preceding the Baron's arrival. Ari looked around, and she saw the creature beaconing for her, stern and stiff, nothing readable on his countenance.
"You should go -left- here," he whispered.
"How long has Professor Snape been shutting himself off from the world?" Ari asked, bluntly.
"You are clever."
"Somebody has to be, everybody else seems merely evasive!"
"He came here as a child the same age as all children do. He was not exceptional, for a Slytherin, perhaps a little more sensitive and intelligent than most. It were dark times for the living, and the ambitious were easily lured to where they suspected power was to be found. After his graduation, I saw him not before he came to ask- no, -beg- the Headmaster for guidance back into the light. What was asked for, was granted- But the double life began then and there, nearly seventeen years ago. The Professor was barely a man, troubled and unstable."
"What happened to these people, seventeen years ago."
"The one they call Voldemort happened."
"And that one is so terrible he's got everyone crawling? What -is- he!"
"A seducer. One that promises the downtrodden all, the strong more. He fulfils the dark desires of the heart and replaces failure with power, regrets with vengeance and guilt with pleasure. He corrupts the innocent and elevates the corrupt. Through those he binds to himself, he, with means unknown to me, draws a power to sustain himself. As you have heard, his goal is immortality in the flesh- and he will leave no means untried to reach that goal. He will destroy all whom he cannot gather. And in the process, wipe out all that is good in a man."
"But Severus is destroying himself! He apparently doesn't need a Voldemort to do it for him! Why!"
"Why are you so sure he is destroying himself?"
"Because I've just seen him with a look in his eyes I've seen with people who were broken!"
"Men like Severus Snape do not break. They endure. And then they die."
"Give up, you mean."
The spectre looked away.
"Snape is a spy. If he shows his heart to his enemies, they will wrench it from his chest and either kill him for the traitor he has become, or truly make him one of their own. Therefore, he has decided he is better of without a heart to begin with."
"But he -does- have feelings. I've seen him -hurt-. Some of the others were not very kind to him and he -felt- it."
And here the Baron smiled. "If a night and a day of your company can draw that much from a withering tree, there might be something to blossom left with the arrival of spring."
Ari shivered, but not from the could.
"You are very poetic, Baron. But the Headmaster does not seem to agree with you."
"The headmaster is fully prepared to sacrifice the one to be able to save all."
"All -but- one, then," Ari answered with a bitter tone in her voice she barely recognised.
"The Headmaster has been able to bring the Professor back from the abyss once, by showing trust, friendship, parental love and guidance, even. He trusts both himself -and- the Professor to be able to heal any wound either will receive in the upcoming times. But the Headmaster is Gryffindor. And the wounds most of Gryffindor receive are either deadly or superficial. They do not touch the core, the soul of a man easily. The Slytherin have a tendency to keep open the wounds that grind into their very being, their soul, feeling so much deeper than most are even able to perceive. Snape was barely twenty years old when he came back. His conscious was black and his craving for absolution great. And still so naïve as to believe that payback would indeed absolve him. The Headmaster won't be able to bring him back, this time. Especially not if he persists in the notion that his other charges, the children, the conspirators, you, can only be protected if the Professor is not allowed to let his mask slip- not ever. Not until it is over."
"But that will take too long."
"It is my fear that it might. But you-" the spectre silently, without moving really, hovered closer. "You are different. You are not from this world, you are exotic. Refreshing. You might be able to make people think. You are very hard to intimidate and you reach for the emotion, not the threat."
"If I reach out to Severus directly, the Headmaster will try to stop me- And Severus will shy away."
"You understand."
Ari chuckled. "No I don't. But I can be a real pain in the ass if need be- I might even be able to get our serious Severus laugh from time to time."
"Be a ray of hope, child. That is all the lifeline he needs. Do not turn away."
"Like they turned from you?"
The Baron looked away and backed into the wall. "You need to go left, here." His whispering voice told her without giving her an answer.
Not that Ari truly had expected one. So it was to the cold grey stone of the empty passage Ari whispered, knowing she Would be heard.
"I promise, Baron. I will not let go, I won't turn away and I won't hurt him. I swear it."
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Hi Sianna! Hope you like the coming chapters as well, even if they might be -both- funny and sad (I hope, that is what I mean them to be anyways). Have you ever looked at Mr. Rickman's hands? I mean really- They are so sexy it just isn't fair! I just saw Die hard again (I'm the lucky owner of the DVD), and although I'm not particularly fond of bad boys holding guns, the way he does it- swoon-!
Thanks for the huge compliment of 'making Snape seem real'!
Juniper Holly, thanks and no, I do not mind, feel free to use the quote as you please.
Crimsonthorne, look back in chapter 7, where Ari tells Snape about her life: "I like to paint. It's a rather serious hobby- I hope to become a professional artist one day." I'll admit, it's subtle, but it is there and it was -put- there to make Ari able to start an art class.
Ozma, thanks. (Everybody, go read Ozma's stories about Filch, they are lovely!)
Gwyn, perhaps the reasoning was a bit shaky, but Ari dead in the Muggle world will mean her family is a little protected and Ari will not have to give anything away about her stay at Hogwarts. Or why. On the other hand, she will be of little use to Harry dead in the Wizarding World- and good old Voldie is clever enough to -know- what has been going on (after giving his faulty Death Eaters a run for their lives off course).
Thanks for all your wonderful comments, starbrite, bluemeanies (do I detect a Yellow Submarine theme here? And, yes, I know! But that is what you get if you put so many people in one little room), Strega Brava, The Slayer (and if you -ever- threaten me with Rubber Duckies again, I'll make Elmer Fudd hunt them down! (grin)), Sophie W, (hi Sophie W!), mysteriousways, Troy, asprosdracos (how about Doumbles for Doumbledore, Pottie for- no! stop, Andolyn, -bad- Andolyn, now I'm getting lame (grin), Piri Malfoy, Lyndsi, Slytherin Sister (thanks!), twirlgirl04 (I'm trying, but unfortunately, reality intercedes…), Leila C. Snape, Arya (I do not hate, but any kind of bigotry comes close…), jejasu (she -won't abandon him! no way), Gwyn, Anna, slytherin girl (hi, slytherin girl!) and Favila (nice to hear from you again!)
And thank you all for picking up on the Eleanor Rigby theme!
And also a humble bow and big hug for any comments made on my other tale, especially Steve!