(A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews guys, and keep 'em coming…JoeBob, I
would love to read your story, but when I clicked on your name it said that
there was no existing user. Perhaps you could send me a link or
something…you can either leave it in a review of email it to me. Looking
forward to reading it!)
Chapter Seventeen
Severus could not process the information he had been given. Hermione, pregnant? Not possible. Oh yes it was, reminded the nasty little voice in the back of his head. It was more than possible. Neither of them had thought to cast a protection spell, they had been too caught up in the moment. Severus tried to sort out his feelings on the subject of a child. He wasn't sure how he felt. Oh, he would stand by her, for Severus Snape was not a coward. But did he really want a child? He had never thought of himself as the fatherly type. A horrible thought gripped his mind – what would Voldemort do if he found out? He would know that Severus had shagged Hermione…Things had just gone from bad to worse.
Severus laid his head down on the desk and closed his eyes. This was why, he reminded himself, he had always tried to avoid falling in love. And he had succeeded admirably, at least he had until now. Just then, he heard a familiar voice behind him.
"Brother, brother – what have you done?"
Severus groaned out loud. "Listen, I'm not in the mood to spend an hour talking to you about shit. Can't you all just leave me alone?"
But Sevolod was not to be dissuaded. "I heard about Hermione. I'm sorry, Sev."
Severus raised his head from the desk. He glared at his twin. "I can't think why you would think that the news about Hermione would affect me in any way, other than when I can stop covering her classes."
"Yeah, yeah – listen Severus, I know you're in love with her."
"I'm not."
"Right then. So, you are apathetic to the fact that she is carrying your child, the only chance for the advancement of the Snape line?"
"That's not true," Severus shot back. "Starling could have children."
"She can't pass on the name, you know, and Starling is a feminist. Do you really think she's the type to settle down and have children?"
"Do you really think I am?"
Sevolod shook his head. "No. And I cannot understand why Hermione cares for you. Neither can Harry or Ron. But, she does, and so you better move your ass over to the hospital wing to be with her. By the way, how could you not have considered the possibility that she might have gotten pregnant?"
Severus rolled his eyes. "I don't know, I didn't spend my time contemplating the likelihood of conception."
Sevolod laughed. "Do I need to have 'the talk' with you again, Sev?"
Severus sighed deeply, and rose from his desk. "Good-bye, 'Lod," he said firmly.
"Going to the hospital wing?"
"Yes, to shut you up."
*~*
Severus knocked lightly on the door to the hospital wing. "Hermione?" he called softly, and stuck his head around the door and peeked inside the room. He saw her, looking quite small all alone in that big bed. "Are you…are you all right?"
She smiled slightly, and a tear trickled slowly down her cheek. He entered the room, closed the door, and came to sit on her bedside. "Hermione…why didn't you tell me? Because, erm…you must have suspected something?"
She colored at that. "Well…perhaps suspected is too strong a word. I had something akin to a suspicion. But, well, sorry to go into detail, but I'm not always regular, if you know what I mean." He did. "So I just figured I was late or something. It wouldn't have been the first time." Her face darkened. "Besides, I knew that if I was pregnant, I would lose it anyway."
Severus shook his head. He didn't understand. "Hermione…did you lose it?"
At that sentence, her eyes overflowed with tears. "Yes."
He looked at her compassionately. Upon hearing her stifled sob, he took her into his arms and just let her cry. After she had cried herself dry, she fell asleep in his arms. Severus soon followed her, falling into a shallow sleep.
Hours later, Poppy Pomfrey opened the door to find them lying like that, sleeping in each other's embrace. She smiled gently, and closed the door softly. She didn't want to disturb them.
*~*
Severus awoke before Hermione, so he just lay quietly, watching her sleep. He had a great many questions that he wanted answered, but he was unwilling to wake her. Luckily for Severus's curiosity, Hermione soon opened her eyes, blinking in the sunlight. She turned over and looked at him, but did not smile. "I expect you have some questions," she said somberly.
He nodded wordlessly. Hermione sighed.
"Remember when we were playing chess, and I told you that my breakup with Viktor was a mutual thing?" He nodded again. "Well, that wasn't entirely correct. I found myself pregnant, but I miscarried within a few weeks of conception, much as I did this time." She swallowed hard. "Anyway, the doctor told me that I would never carry a child to term. My uterus is shaped abnormally, and so I can never carry a child for more than a few weeks, at best."
"You should have told me, Hermione," Severus said in a low voice. "I could have given you something – to make the inevitable less painful."
"Like I said, I wasn't sure, and besides which, I didn't know your feelings on the subject of children. I didn't want to upset you."
Severus took a deep breath. "I see." It was time to get back to the asshole act, he reminded himself unhappily. "Well, I've never wanted children, to be honest."
Hermione was unfazed. "So this must come as something of a relief to you, then." It was a statement, not a question.
He said nothing. She sighed, and motioned to the door with one hand. "I think it would be best if you left now, considering that now you know that you need not be concerned that you'd have to deal with a child."
Severus turned his back, and with a swish of his long black robes, he walked out of the room.
*~*
Hermione was released from the hospital wing later that night. She sat down at her desk, and began to prepare tomorrow's fourth year lesson. Almost immediately, she heard a voice coming from her fireplace. "Hermione, my dear, are you free now?" It was the Headmaster.
"Yes, I am Albus," she called back.
"Good," he answered. "Might I come down now?"
"Of course."
And a moment later, Albus was standing in her office, brushing the chimney soot off of his robes. He sat down in the chair in front of her desk, and looked at her compassionately. "Hermione, how are you feeling?"
She shrugged. "I'm fine, Albus."
He raised an eyebrow and thought for a moment, unsure of exactly how to approach this topic. He decided that the best course of action would be to simply confront her. "Did you talk to Severus yet?"
She colored and pursed her lips. "Yes, I did."
"And?"
"And he made it very clear that he was relieved that I had miscarried."
Oh dear. Albus had been afraid of this. He sighed. "Hermione, Voldemort has somehow returned."
That got her attention. "What?!"
He nodded. "It's true. Severus was contacted in a dream, and he says that Voldemort is still alive. I believe him."
"What can I do?" she asked.
"You can start by understanding. Against my advice and wishes, he is going to return to Voldemort. Severus did not want him to know about you…because he was afraid of what Voldemort might do to you, in order to test his loyalties. And Severus wasn't sure if he would be able to stand by and watch you be tortured or worse. In his mind, his first obligation is to spying for the Light."
Hermione was dumbfounded. "He told you all this?"
Albus shook his head. "No, not in words, but I saw it in his eyes. He's like a son to me, Hermione. For me, he is easier to read than a book."
Hermione rubbed her temples. This day just kept getting worse and worse. "Thanks, Albus," she whispered. He nodded.
"Why don't you try to get some sleep, all right?"
"Okay. Good night, Albus."
"Good night, Hermione."
But after Albus left the room, Hermione did not go to sleep. She went to Professor Snape's quarters. She easily found her way past the locking riddle-charm, but she found that he was not in his quarters. So she sat down in an armchair, close to the fire, and waited for him to return.
Chapter Seventeen
Severus could not process the information he had been given. Hermione, pregnant? Not possible. Oh yes it was, reminded the nasty little voice in the back of his head. It was more than possible. Neither of them had thought to cast a protection spell, they had been too caught up in the moment. Severus tried to sort out his feelings on the subject of a child. He wasn't sure how he felt. Oh, he would stand by her, for Severus Snape was not a coward. But did he really want a child? He had never thought of himself as the fatherly type. A horrible thought gripped his mind – what would Voldemort do if he found out? He would know that Severus had shagged Hermione…Things had just gone from bad to worse.
Severus laid his head down on the desk and closed his eyes. This was why, he reminded himself, he had always tried to avoid falling in love. And he had succeeded admirably, at least he had until now. Just then, he heard a familiar voice behind him.
"Brother, brother – what have you done?"
Severus groaned out loud. "Listen, I'm not in the mood to spend an hour talking to you about shit. Can't you all just leave me alone?"
But Sevolod was not to be dissuaded. "I heard about Hermione. I'm sorry, Sev."
Severus raised his head from the desk. He glared at his twin. "I can't think why you would think that the news about Hermione would affect me in any way, other than when I can stop covering her classes."
"Yeah, yeah – listen Severus, I know you're in love with her."
"I'm not."
"Right then. So, you are apathetic to the fact that she is carrying your child, the only chance for the advancement of the Snape line?"
"That's not true," Severus shot back. "Starling could have children."
"She can't pass on the name, you know, and Starling is a feminist. Do you really think she's the type to settle down and have children?"
"Do you really think I am?"
Sevolod shook his head. "No. And I cannot understand why Hermione cares for you. Neither can Harry or Ron. But, she does, and so you better move your ass over to the hospital wing to be with her. By the way, how could you not have considered the possibility that she might have gotten pregnant?"
Severus rolled his eyes. "I don't know, I didn't spend my time contemplating the likelihood of conception."
Sevolod laughed. "Do I need to have 'the talk' with you again, Sev?"
Severus sighed deeply, and rose from his desk. "Good-bye, 'Lod," he said firmly.
"Going to the hospital wing?"
"Yes, to shut you up."
*~*
Severus knocked lightly on the door to the hospital wing. "Hermione?" he called softly, and stuck his head around the door and peeked inside the room. He saw her, looking quite small all alone in that big bed. "Are you…are you all right?"
She smiled slightly, and a tear trickled slowly down her cheek. He entered the room, closed the door, and came to sit on her bedside. "Hermione…why didn't you tell me? Because, erm…you must have suspected something?"
She colored at that. "Well…perhaps suspected is too strong a word. I had something akin to a suspicion. But, well, sorry to go into detail, but I'm not always regular, if you know what I mean." He did. "So I just figured I was late or something. It wouldn't have been the first time." Her face darkened. "Besides, I knew that if I was pregnant, I would lose it anyway."
Severus shook his head. He didn't understand. "Hermione…did you lose it?"
At that sentence, her eyes overflowed with tears. "Yes."
He looked at her compassionately. Upon hearing her stifled sob, he took her into his arms and just let her cry. After she had cried herself dry, she fell asleep in his arms. Severus soon followed her, falling into a shallow sleep.
Hours later, Poppy Pomfrey opened the door to find them lying like that, sleeping in each other's embrace. She smiled gently, and closed the door softly. She didn't want to disturb them.
*~*
Severus awoke before Hermione, so he just lay quietly, watching her sleep. He had a great many questions that he wanted answered, but he was unwilling to wake her. Luckily for Severus's curiosity, Hermione soon opened her eyes, blinking in the sunlight. She turned over and looked at him, but did not smile. "I expect you have some questions," she said somberly.
He nodded wordlessly. Hermione sighed.
"Remember when we were playing chess, and I told you that my breakup with Viktor was a mutual thing?" He nodded again. "Well, that wasn't entirely correct. I found myself pregnant, but I miscarried within a few weeks of conception, much as I did this time." She swallowed hard. "Anyway, the doctor told me that I would never carry a child to term. My uterus is shaped abnormally, and so I can never carry a child for more than a few weeks, at best."
"You should have told me, Hermione," Severus said in a low voice. "I could have given you something – to make the inevitable less painful."
"Like I said, I wasn't sure, and besides which, I didn't know your feelings on the subject of children. I didn't want to upset you."
Severus took a deep breath. "I see." It was time to get back to the asshole act, he reminded himself unhappily. "Well, I've never wanted children, to be honest."
Hermione was unfazed. "So this must come as something of a relief to you, then." It was a statement, not a question.
He said nothing. She sighed, and motioned to the door with one hand. "I think it would be best if you left now, considering that now you know that you need not be concerned that you'd have to deal with a child."
Severus turned his back, and with a swish of his long black robes, he walked out of the room.
*~*
Hermione was released from the hospital wing later that night. She sat down at her desk, and began to prepare tomorrow's fourth year lesson. Almost immediately, she heard a voice coming from her fireplace. "Hermione, my dear, are you free now?" It was the Headmaster.
"Yes, I am Albus," she called back.
"Good," he answered. "Might I come down now?"
"Of course."
And a moment later, Albus was standing in her office, brushing the chimney soot off of his robes. He sat down in the chair in front of her desk, and looked at her compassionately. "Hermione, how are you feeling?"
She shrugged. "I'm fine, Albus."
He raised an eyebrow and thought for a moment, unsure of exactly how to approach this topic. He decided that the best course of action would be to simply confront her. "Did you talk to Severus yet?"
She colored and pursed her lips. "Yes, I did."
"And?"
"And he made it very clear that he was relieved that I had miscarried."
Oh dear. Albus had been afraid of this. He sighed. "Hermione, Voldemort has somehow returned."
That got her attention. "What?!"
He nodded. "It's true. Severus was contacted in a dream, and he says that Voldemort is still alive. I believe him."
"What can I do?" she asked.
"You can start by understanding. Against my advice and wishes, he is going to return to Voldemort. Severus did not want him to know about you…because he was afraid of what Voldemort might do to you, in order to test his loyalties. And Severus wasn't sure if he would be able to stand by and watch you be tortured or worse. In his mind, his first obligation is to spying for the Light."
Hermione was dumbfounded. "He told you all this?"
Albus shook his head. "No, not in words, but I saw it in his eyes. He's like a son to me, Hermione. For me, he is easier to read than a book."
Hermione rubbed her temples. This day just kept getting worse and worse. "Thanks, Albus," she whispered. He nodded.
"Why don't you try to get some sleep, all right?"
"Okay. Good night, Albus."
"Good night, Hermione."
But after Albus left the room, Hermione did not go to sleep. She went to Professor Snape's quarters. She easily found her way past the locking riddle-charm, but she found that he was not in his quarters. So she sat down in an armchair, close to the fire, and waited for him to return.