*Ask Pansy, Wood and Voldemort*
Dear Oliver,
I have been your biggest fan since I saw you in that movie about that hairy kid. I was wondering if you could tell me how you make those brooms fly. It's very fascinating.
Another question. Why do you like playing keeper? I think you'd look much better as one of those speedy chasers. Make that Katie Bell go play keeper.
And lastly, will you be my boyfriend? I know that you're a wizard...haven't there been half bloods or something like that though?
Sincerely,
Quidditch Hater Shasa
Dear Quidditch Hater Shasa,
Firstly I don't know how anyone could hate Quidditch. Even though Harry starred in the movie, and the movie was named after him we all know who stole the show.
Making brooms fly like I do is not easy. It takes talent, practice, and good looks to look good while doing it. I like playing Keeper because I am defending my team. Chasers do all the work. Katie Bell is a great Chaser, though I would look dashing playing it. And lastly I am sorry, I can't go out with someone who hates Quidditch. It is against my religion.
Wood
(Wood shot another grin at Voldemort)
Voldemort-
Hi! My name is August and I want to be a death eater! Oh yeah, and will you go out with me? I'm pretty! I promise! But please help me... I wanna be BAD! Oh yeah, and my friends and i are planning to break you out of ... um... that place you're in. So hang in there, we'll see you later.
---------Adrienne------------
Adrienne,
Sure you can be a death eater! We are always looking for new people! And I will go out with you if you are a witch, if you aren't forget it. Being bad isn't all it's cracked up to be. Sometimes you don't have the time to do things you used to love. For example, I haven't had a date since my last year at Hogwarts. But if you are ready to be a dedicated spawn of evil then go for it! Be willing to take a risk. I might blow you up, but hey! It is part of the job.
(Now Voldemort shoots a look of triumph over at Wood who looks at his feet sheepishly)
Voldemort-
I would just like to correct my earlier question. I am Adrienne. August and Angel Jade are two of the 28 other tenants of this overcrowded brain. Darn you Ministry budget cuts! WE NEED MORE SPACE! AUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
----Sincerely, Adrienne----
Adrienne,
Can we say wacko?
Voldemort
(Wood starts laughing and Voldmorts face turns red. Wood says, "The only girls that will go out with old Voldi hear are wackos!")
Dear Voldemort,
I have come to some recent occurances where I must constantly deal with some ... how shall I put this?... annoying people. One at a time I can handle them, but all together, they are a menace to society... and me!
Help me!!! Please!!!
Much apreciated,
JenJen
JenJen,
Three words, blow them up.
Voldemort
~~~~~
Tommy, baby,
Why can't you kill Harry Potter, I mean he's just a kid? Are you really that *pathetic* or are you just going through a weak phase?
Peace out,
Starling ^.~
Starling,
I am trying ok?! Even though he is just a kid his stupid mother sacrificed herself to save him and it makes it kinda hard! I would like to see you try! I have conquered death! I don't think you should be talking! I am back and he will die. You can quote me for that.
Voldemort
P.S. Don't EVER call me Tommy baby
~~~~~
Dear Pansy,
I think you need glasses or at least your eyes checked so I added a coupon for a discount to my eye doctor. After you get glasses or something, maybe you'll see that Draco doesn't like you! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dear Wood, Dear hot hot hot double hot, cute, forever mine Wood,
I love you! NOT! Sorry, I have a bf. *Stares lovingly at George* hehe...
I was wondering though, can you speak Japanese?
Dear Moldy Voldie,
You know, if you didn't turn evil and twisted looking, you would get a lot more dates and you would actually get a first kiss too. MWAHAHAHA!!!
Byes and yours truly,
The mental, lunatic, weirdo one
Mental, Lunatic, Weirdo One,
Well you got your name right! I am proud to say I have 20/20 vision. And as for your coupon I took it and stuffed it up Voldi's (bleep).
Pansy
MLWO,
Thanks. I only speak one word and I don't know how to spell it. Konechewa or something.
Wood
Freakish One,
Shut up mudblood.
Voldemort
~~~~~
Hey Voldy!!!
When you had to live on the back of Quirrell's head, did he, so to speak *snicker* take a shower with you??? *muffled laughter* And did you enjoy it??? *more laughter* Describe to us in detail. *falls off chair laughing*
Sage of Dreams the Sith Lady
SoDtSL,
You have a perverted mind… Well since we were kind of stuck together we had to do, well , things, that we both weren't very happy doing. I can't go into details because this is a PG advice column but it wasn't pretty. Get help.
Voldemort
~~~~~
Dear Moldy Voldie,
I was just wondering...would you like to join my blues Clues club? Since you like it so much.
~*~ Cool Dude ~*~
Cool Dude,
Would I? Would I? Yes!!! Woohoo! I love that show! Just don't tell anyone. It would be bad for my rep if you know what I mean. Don't call me Moldy or Voldie it is hurtful.
Thanks!
Voldemort