A/n: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or Blue's Clues. I also have nothing against Carol Brady or Janet Jackson, they are just pawns for my evilness. Bwah ha ha.

*Ask Pansy, Wood and Voldemort*

Dear Voldi-

i was just wondering if you wanted me to send you some of the new blue's clues underwear that just came out!!! also, the thinking chair is on sale if you'd like that too.

Pansy-

i have a friend just like u!!! She's in a mental institution right now!! She killed some girl b/c her boyfriend chose another girl over her!!! lol... I love happy endings!!!!

Wood-
U r one dead sexy beast... i don't care wut they say... or who ur going out with... b/c now ur married to me!! Just remember that I love u!!!

*willowfairy*

Dear willowfairy,

*shhh…* keep that quiet! If it got out that I liked Blue's Clues! You have no idea what it would do to my rep! I would be ruined! Send um over.

Voldemort(DON'T CALL ME VOLDI!!!!)

WillowFairy,

Your point is? Are you trying to go somewhere? I think it was probably you. You are doing one of those, I have this friend who likes this guy and she doesn't know what to do but you are really talking about yourself! Plus that will never happen to me because Draco loves me. Ya that right, he loves me!!!

Love,

Mrs. Pansy Draco Malfoy

*willowfairy*

Well willow, that isn't the first time I have been called a dead sexy beast let me tell you! I am way to busy to be "hitched" so to speak right now, *pompous laugh* but when I get outa here doll face we'll talk.

Wood

~~~~~

(Voldemort seriously objected to printing this one but we print all!)

Tommy, baby,
Okay, let's get a few things strait, I'm 10,237 years old and it's not likely that I'm going to die in the foreseeable future; so let me assure you that your apparent concurring of death is nothing compared to me. After all you sold your soul and your cute face to maintain even the slightest semblance of life where as I still look sixteen.
And if I wanted to kill Harry Potter have no doubt he'd be deader than your sex drive. Luckily, I think he's adorable, in that little boy way, and don't want him dead.
As for your name. Fine you don't wanna be called Tommy, okay, then I'll call you Tom, it is your given name, the one your mother gave you, I will not use the term 'flight of death' for anyone much less a psychopath like you.

Peace out,
Starling ^.~

P.S. Oliver, you rock. And you're really hot.

Starling,

You diseased sack of snot. I can explain that in 4 words…You are a freak. A freak! And can we keep my sex drive out of this? Who wants to get it on with some1 who is 10,237 years old no matter how young the look? Would you do it with Carol Brady? Or Janet Jackson? I think not. I do not use the name Tom because it was given to me by a pathetic muggle and the fool of a witch who loved him. I am Lord Voldemort and you are not to forget that. As for Potter, you are probably right. You could kill him just by looking at him.

Voldemort

P.S. I know! – Wood

~~~~~

I was bored. I admit it. I wanted to do something to mix things up. Get things interesting again. You guessed it, square dancing! Spin your partner round and round. Haha, I am so evil.