*Ask Pansy, Wood and Voldemort*
Dear Mr. Evil Dark Lord Voldemort;
Seeing as I dislike the Kidnapped Wood cause he's WAY to stuck on his "good looks" I would love to ask you to be my date. Heck maybe I could even convince you to give up on the taking over the world thing-Haven't you ever seen Pinky and the Brain? It never works out! Here's hopping you win.
Dear Pansy;
I know a guy who looks EXACTLY like Draco- and acts like him too. I KNOW he loves you, but wouldn't it be fun to show him up and go for some one he hates, say Harry? Just to make him jealous of course. Maybe then he'll see you for what you really are and you can move beyond just handholding.
Dear Wood;
You are a pompous arrogant freak. No offense to Brittany or Carrie but ecchhh. I liked you better in the books- in the movie you looked kindy scraggly and echhh. While Voldemort's not my fav, (Snapey rules! Oh and Ron's kinda baby cute) I hope he wins. Hehehe Quidditch sucks!
Juliet
Juliet,
I doubt that you could convince me to stop trying to take over the world. I love Pinky and the Brain! Brain is my role model. Pinky is kind of like Wormtail. Stupid and rats. "What are we going to do tonight Brain?" "Tonight Pinky, we will take over the world!" Thanks for the support.
Voldemort
Juliet
Hmmm… that's a good idea! I will pretend to like someone else then he will come crawling back to me! Oh that's good! You are so evil!
Thanks a Bunch,
Pansy
Juliet,
I am very shocked! You are probably in denial dear girl. WHAT DO YOU MEAN QUIDDITCH SUX!!! WHAT IS FLIPPIN WRONG WITH YOU?! YOU NEED PROF. HELP YOU FLIPPIN PHYSCO! GOD!!!
Wood
~~~~~
Voldi- get plastic surgery
Wood- Will you go out with me? We could play Quidditch! XD or you could try placing soccer. or football. It's tons of fun! Running around pushing people over!
Pansy-If Draco luvs you then why hasn't he written to this column and vow to save you?
Later days,
Kitty^_^
Kitty,
I will think about it. Are the doctors reliable? What if they make me look like Michael Jackson?
Voldemort
Kitty,
I would be honored. So would you!
Wood
Kitty,
He doesn't read the newspaper dimwit.
Pansy
~~~~~
Dear Vol D. Mert,
You may have already won!!! Costco is giving away 6 free vacations this month and you are a finalist! Just fill out your address, phone number, and credit card number, and you could have the chance to win a free, fully paid vacation to the Bahamas!!!
Dear ittybittytreefrog,
WOW! The Bahamas! Oh it is Voldemort. I don't have a credit card or an address or a phone number. Will that be a problem?
Voldemort
~~~~~
Dear Voldio (are you Italian?),
I think you're cool and before you kill Harry, you should be fixed of your...er, how do you say it sensitively....MENTALNESS!!
Dear Panzie (Pansy the BLEEP),
You're one mental idiot. And I think Draco should dump you and go for another girl because you are one big SICKO!!!!!!!!!!
Dear Oli,
You're one cool dude. Do you want to join my Quidditch Cool Guys Fan Club for cool guys only? We will discuss Qudditch tactics AND cool guys' stuff.
Love and kisses forever (not to Panzie the BLEEP tho),
Harry Die!
Harry Die!,
Thanks, I think.
Voldio???
Harry Die! The (BLEEP),
Same to you buddy, same to you.
Pansy
Harry Die!
Thanks! The club sounds perfect for me! I love Quidditch and I am a cool guy! Is your club for hot guys too? *pompous laugh* I crack myself up.
Wood
~~~~~
Dear Voldemort,
Do want 20 pieces of Blues Clues merchindise only for $5.99 and a one year membership of Blues Clues tapes and magazines?
We are looking for blues clues, we are looking for blues clues, we are looking for blues clues because we're really smart.
From Blues Clues
Blues Clues,
WOOPEE!!! Yes! I will never miss it again! Alright!
Voldemort
~~~~~
THE DATE TALLY!
Wood-lllll
Voldi-llll