Chapter 25 - Finding the Singing Orc Princess
Thranduil of Mirkwood was rather annoyed. He had been troubled by Dwarves, troubled by his sons, troubled by spiders, troubled by his Master Archer, and . . . the list seemed to go on and on. Just a couple days before he had witnessed his youngest son squeeze a spider through the bedroom window and dive after it, disappearing into the woods. He shook his head in consternation.
"This madness has to stop," he hissed pacing back and forth in the Hall.
Tanglinna stood in a far corner, arms folded over his chest, a carefully blank expression on his face. The rest of the Hall was conspicuously empty. King Thranduil's subjects were no fools.
"This madness has to stop," the Elf king repeated. "I will not tolerate any more spiders, pipeweed, Dwarves, sparkly pink . . .or green . . .or . . .whatever in my Hall again! This has to stop, Tanglinna!"
The Master Archer raised one silver brow.
"Yes, Your Majesty," he murmured softly, wondering if he should have kept quiet when Thranduil suddenly spun toward him, piercing him with the intensity of his blue gaze.
"Get the horses. You and I are going after them. Now. Meet me at the front of the palace."
Tanglinna bowed and hurried out of the Hall and toward the stables. He knew they would ride until they found them. He shook his head as he ordered two horses to be brought from the stalls.
~At least I am not involved in this latest escapade of theirs, ~ he thought grimly. ~I only hope that all this "madness" can stop! Ai, but I tire of it! ~
Thranduil had gone to change into his riding leathers, choosing ones of a rich green embroidered with golden leaves.
"Things will change," he told his scowling reflection. "Beginning today, nay, beginning now - this very moment - things will be different!" He nodded in agreement with himself as he smoothed the butter soft leather over his chest. "There will be no more Dwarves traipsing in my forest; no more spider hairs on my clothing; no more missing jewels; no more pipeweed that makes people act . . .strangely and chop off their hair; no more shrieking beasts! No more anything unless I order it!" He reached for a rather plain circlet, one not often worn, with good reason. He studied the beaten silver in his hands, his thumb running over the simple design of tightly interconnected swirls. There were no jewels or embellishments to adorn it. Legolas would most definitely recognize this headgear. "He will tremble with fear," Thranduil said with a wicked grin. His sons had learned to dread the appearance of Celeb Baudh - the Silver Judgment. It didn't appear on their father's head very often, but when it did they knew that they were doomed.
Thranduil wondered if he should have donned it earlier, before things had gotten so far out of hand. Well, he was wearing it now! Little Greenleaf would be trembling like a leaf in the wind when he caught sight of his father. He adjusted it, studying his reflection once more. He scowled even more fiercely at himself, baring his even white teeth. Yes, it would end today. He turned and strode out of the room.
Anyone who caught sight of the king that morning slipped away unnoticed, not wanting to draw his attention. His blue eyes flashed with dark purpose and Celeb Baudh glittered on his brow. Two words were whispered about the realm that day:
"Poor Legolas!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Do you believe this?" Tavor asked as they pulled open sticky little webs filled with glittering gems, necklaces, bracelets, rings, and other sparkly things. "Those silly spiders. Why do they have to put these webs on everything?"
The full moon shone above, setting the gems on fire with its light
"Because they are spiders," Brethil answered with a shrug, wiping his slender fingers on his leggings. "It is what they do, Tavor."
Tavor glared over at him in exasperation.
"I *know* that, Brethil. It wasn't necessary for you to answer that. It was a rhetorical question. Why can't you just shut up! Honestly, at times I think you are incapable of it. All I did was comment on these silly webs and you have to say, "Because they are spiders. It is what they do, Tavor." Really, sometimes I think you must talk in your sleep. Does your mouth ever rest? I don't think that it does. I think - "
Legolas and Brethil glanced at one another then smiled and looked at Tavor.
"Shut up, Tavor," they said loudly to get his attention as he rattled on and on about Brethil's rattling on and on.
He turned to stare at them.
"What? Why did you tell *me* to shut up? I am not the one that won't be quiet when I should be. That is clearly Brethil. I think -"
"You sounded like me," Brethil giggled, covering his mouth with his hand. "Your mouth isrunning on and on and on."
Tavor glared at them, grey eyes full of indignation. Then he realized that he had indeed been babbling as badly as Brethil. He grimaced, pulling a necklace from the webs.
"I have spent entirely too much time with the two of you. Look at me. Is this how I should be spending the day? I knew we should never have tried to tame a spider. How ridiculous -"
"You're doing it again, Tavor!" Brethil gasped, laughing.
"I am not. I am merely stating that the two of you have been a rather bad influence on me. You always have been. I would never have gotten myself into this sort of mess with anyone else."
"Shut up, Tavor!" Legolas and Brethil laughed as they glanced from their friend to one another.
"At least he isn't talking about the Halls of Mandos," Brethil commented quietly as Tavor continued his list of all the things that they had gotten themselves into since their very first prank when Brethil was a mere toddler.
"Not yet, at any rate." Legolas had taken off his outer leather tunic and they were piling the gems and jewelry into to it so they might transport them back to Gladaran Thamas. "I suspect he will get to that in a moment."
Tavor continued to voice all his complaints about what had happened since they had seen the Dwarves stealing their boat here at Morn Nen. Legolas and Brethil ignored him letting him air his supposed grievances against them, his best friends since earliest childhood.
"And you Legolas, singing to the Dwarves! Prince of the Singing Orcs! That is what they called you."
"We all sang, Tavor. They call us Singing Orcs. Don't you remember?" Legolas grinned. "Or perhaps you really did fall into Morn Nen!"
Tavor sneered at him, continuing to pluck things from the webs and toss them into the tunic on the ground.
"Prince of the Singing Orcs!" Brethil added. "You called Legolas that! Not the Dwarves."
"I don't think we sounded like Orcs. Did you, Brethil?" Legolas asked with a grin, wiping his sticky fingers on his slightly iridescent pale blue inner tunic.
"No. I thought we sounded very nice myself. What do Dwarves know?" he added with a sly grin.
Legolas narrowed his eyes in warning and Brethil laughed merrily. The younger elf stretched, throwing the last jewel onto the pile.
"May we go home now?" Tavor asked staring at his fingers in disgust. "I should have gone with Gwibess and left the two of you to contend with this."
"Then you would have faced the King's wrath alone." Brethil said with a sigh.
"Oh, no. We aren't going to think of that now. By the time we get back home we will have come up with some way to lessen our punishment . . .whatever it may be." Legolas frowned slightly and then shook his head. Then suddenly he grinned at Brethil and Tavor and began to sing. It was the slightly eerie song the three had made up to sing to the Dwarves.
Brethil grinned widely and joined him, moving to drape his arm about the prince's shoulder. They sang louder and advanced on Tavor who was staring at them in dismayed disbelief. They grabbed him up in their embrace until he was laughing and singing with them. Everything would be fine now. The spiders were out of the palace; they had the jewels back, and they were clever enough to find a way out of this trouble. Yes, everything would be fine now.
~*~*~*~*~*
"Do you hear that?"
"Yes! She is near!"
"She is not alone! There is more than one!"
"Hurry! Don't let them escape us!"
The six Orcs trotted hurriedly through the trees. They had been searching the area around Morn Nen ever since they had first heard the enchanting voice that had frightened their prey away, for they had never heard anything so beautiful, its siren call enflaming their hearts. Now at last their long vigilance would be rewarded.
Garluk the leader jogged ahead of the others, a grin on his swarthy features. There would be a fight as well this night, to see who would claim the Singing Princess and her maidens as his own. His hand tightened on his weapon, his heart swelling. He had no doubt that he would be the victor. He flexed his muscles, looking back at his punier companions.
The other five felt the same way, each confident that at the night's end they would be with the Princess and her companions. Each Orc smiled into the darkness, flexing muscles and stroking weapon handles as they ran on swift, eager feet toward the voices.
~*~*~*~*~*~*
The Tricksy Trio had collapsed onto the ground in a fit of laughter near the jewel filled tunic. They lay on their backs staring up at the glory of Elbereth's stars enjoying this outing for the first time since they had fled the palace with such an ignominious exit.
"It has been a most strange time," Tavor commented with a laugh. "One I don't think I would care to repeat."
"Nay. But it will all be over soon," Legolas said, rolling onto his side and looking at the pile sparkling beside them. "This should help to lessen the blow my father will strike at us when we return." He reached over and plucked up a circlet studded with diamonds. He sat up and placed it on his head. Grinning he stood and bowed comically at them. "I guess I can see why the spiders had such fun with them."
Tavor and Brethil laughed and each chose gaudy collars of silver studded with fat pale gems and flashing emeralds.
"Let us adorn you, O Prince of Singing Orcs."
They stood adorning Legolas and themselves with bracelets and necklaces. As Tavor and Legolas laughingly compared their jewelry, Brethil bent to pick up a large ring set with a sapphire. As he straightened he noticed that they were not alone.
"Uh, Legolas. Tavor," he began quietly, his grey eyes widening. "Legolas! Tavor!"
"What is it, Brethil?" Tavor asked, turning from admiring his prince to look at the other Elf.
"Orcs!"
"What? What are you talking about? We don't look like Orcs," Tavor joked. "We just sound like Orcs when we sing."
Legolas chuckled in delight and turned to see Brethil staring with such a stricken look that it alarmed the prince. His face fell in dismay.
"Tavor," he hissed. "There *are* Orcs!"
"Oh, no. Don't start that again. I am tired of being teased. Really, you two, I don't think it is -" He turned then and saw what the others did. "Ai, Valar. They *are* Orcs!"
TBC
Response to Reviewers
There is a great story started out there by the name of "Dance for Life " by Noone. You should go check it out. It is going to be quite an action adventure story starring Legolas, Gimli, and - get this (squirms happily) Glorfindel! You have to love that!
The Sadistic Cow - Oh, dear! Why did you give me another plot bunny??!! I really thought I could just wrap this up nice and tight, now I may have to rethink again! I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you!! I didn't think I wanted Legolas captured by Orcs again. You know, been there done that! But GRRRRRR! Now I have to think some more! Thank you so much, Sadistic Cow!! It could be very funny though, couldn't it!! Thanks for reading my old stuff, though I did warn you!
alliwantisanelfforchristmas - Thank you for the brainstorm session, and as you can see the Sadistic Cow has thrown me another plot bunny! Will the madness never end!!??!! I am beginning to feel like Thranduil! Such fun if I don't go mad first! I guess writer's block has been blown away! I am sure Bombur will fit in the barrel, he has to . Someday they will actually leave. I think! Singing Princess better beware! I may have to be mean to her.uh.him again!
Angaloth - Everyone is in love with Legolas! I am, you are, they are. Yep. Everyone!
Karina - I promise that no spiders will be hurt in this fiction. Only the ones Bilbo killed. Gwibess will be fine. Strange isn't it. I don't want them hurt either. Uh, oh. I guess you and I had better check into your Mental Health Clinic for the Elvishly Insane! Um, let's not go into the joke on Tavor. I didn't know it either! (grimace) Wake- up call for Balin not yet for Gloin, he is sleeping in. For quite a while yet actually! (wink wink) I think that Gwibess would look quite lovely with braids! Don't fret your muse. He will return with lots of plot bunnies I hope!
Lakergurl13 - Gwibess went to her nest, which is not in that palace, thank Eru! Yes, I think Eru will need to help them out of this one. That is if he is not having too much fun watching their antics like we are! They are definitely not prepared. I hope that Bombur makes something interesting for the feast. We shall see! As for selling Legolas' hair, Thran does like his treasure, so who knows! The whole Egla Ash thing took place about 29 - 30 years before the Fellowship formed, so it would be approximately 77 years or so after Bilbo's adventures. Not for a while yet. Tell Charlie I think he is right. He wouldn't make a very good Orc princess. I just hope the Orcs think that, too!
Puterpatty - My goodness. Can't you tell that I planned the whole Tavor joke from the beginning?? Uh, well, no, actually I didn't. It just wrote itself in that last chapter with no prior warning. I am so unorganized! Brethil is a good follower indeed! Legolas didn't complain about "you know what" at all. I think he rather enjoyed it!!
queenie - Be apprehensive. Be very apprehensive! Buhahahahahahhahahahahaha! Sorry. Got carried away there. I think I have a couple screws loose right about now.
Lady M - They might be in much trouble! Poor dears! Morn Nen is still waiting in the wings, never fear! It has a role yet to play!
annakas - As it nears the end here, I have to get in a few cliffhangers! I love them! If nothing happened to the trio there would be no story, so I am throwing everything that I can at them. Don't you love it!?!?
Mitheithel - I am sure you sing much better than an Orc! Though I don't think that I do!
JastaElf - yes, Orcs love him, too! I wasn't going to write any Orcs in this one, but they showed up any way! I hope Thrandy the kitten is doing well. Thranduil in this story is very, very annoyed and going to put an end to it soon! There has to be a feast to celebrate the end of this madness, doesn't there?? We do all like to torture the Elf, don't we! Poor Legolas! (copyright TreeHugger)
Ithilien - I wonder what Bombur will fix for the feast! I haven't a clue yet! I think this will be the last one in this story. I need a celebration to finish this thing out! I couldn't help but think of your Spring Festival with Gimli joining in! LOL I think you must be right about Dwarf women! Hmmm. Another plot bunny! Oh, no! As to your questions they will all be answered in the Council of Elrond follow-up to this story! I do know those answers, believe it or not!
Anonymous - Bombur is my kind of guy, too. Who wants to traipse into danger when you can live safely with plenty of food about! Balin does know the truth for certain, but Gloin will have to wait! I don't think they will be giving up Gwibess just yet. I like her too much to lose her. I doubt that Thranduil would ever run out of ways to humiliate them. Legolas has had quite an adventure in this story and must be exhausted. I am sure he will be quite relieved when it is all said and done. Uh, oh. Sounds like you did indeed have a case of Brethilitis. Over Boromir's death scene no less! I am impressed! Hope you have recovered sufficiently. Remember: breathe in, breathe out! There should be some sound sites out there for Elvish. That would be very cool! It is my pleasure to read your reviews! Believe me!
Nancing Elf - They surely didn't learn anything at Elf Scouts of ME, did they! They are not prepared! It was a wicked joke on Tavor, but he needs to lighten up a little! He needs to laugh at himself some times! Yes, we are all in love with him, aren't we? We can't seem to help ourselves! How do I do it, juggling 3 stories?? Well, the only thing that comes to mind is the song by Queen: "I 'm Going Slightly Mad"!
amlugwen - I will try not to make you wait as long as I did. The plot bunnies are flying all around my living room at present, never fear! I nearly died laughing when you told me that your friend wanted to know the name of the woman with the bow in LOTR! Oh, no! Did she really say that??!! LOL
Rings of the cosmos - Cave crickets freak me out more than any other insect or arachnid in the world! I feel very foolish for shrieking and jumping away from them, but I can't help it! You poor thing! I am sorry that school has started already for you! 6:10 in the am is very early!
elhwesta - This is definitely an AU, much more so than I envision or even started. I hope Tolkien would appreciate it, but I don't know. I am a wicked author! Whoa! You sounded like Gollum there for a moment! Ssssscary, my preciousssss!! I thought the Wild Berry War was quite cute myself!
Lk - I am glad that you like this so much! It makes my day to hear it! Thranduil is about to get things in hand, I think anyway. So many plot bunnies want to be used I don't know what will happen exactly! Hopefully it will be fun all the way to the end!
Noone - Sounds like you should have sent me that plot bunny earlier! You had it all worked out! I don't mind repetitious reviewers! I like them! Big Bad Aran, huh? Cool!!! I could do that!! I can be rather loud! Thank you for reading my old ones! But I know I warned you how wicked I was! (
Opal Elf - No, that wasn't the end of the story. It keeps getting farther and farther away! I don't know why, but it does! I am glad you are enjoying this little romp through Mirkwood. My poor dear, didn't I warn you not to read a certain other fic that I wrote? Thank you for reading them and I am sorry I made you cry! :(
Moonstone Tears - Love it when you laugh! Your description was just fine!
une chat noire - It does tell why the Dwarves escaped so easily, doesn't it!! Makes perfect sense now! I don't mind your ramblings. Ramble on! I love the word hilarious! Thank you!
Katharine the Great - Nope, no Mary Sues here! Can't write them for some reason! But you know saying that Legolas would DIE when he finds out about the Singing Orc Princess thing is a bit disconcerting coming from you, O Great Evil One! Blackest Evil from Morgoth's shriveled little heart????!!!! Oh, no! Please be nice!!! Too late! You weren't nice at all!!!! (TreeHugger buries her face in her hands and moans!)
Sake - Poor Legolas! (copyright TreeHugger) He doesn't have a very easy time in this one does he!!
Thranduil of Mirkwood was rather annoyed. He had been troubled by Dwarves, troubled by his sons, troubled by spiders, troubled by his Master Archer, and . . . the list seemed to go on and on. Just a couple days before he had witnessed his youngest son squeeze a spider through the bedroom window and dive after it, disappearing into the woods. He shook his head in consternation.
"This madness has to stop," he hissed pacing back and forth in the Hall.
Tanglinna stood in a far corner, arms folded over his chest, a carefully blank expression on his face. The rest of the Hall was conspicuously empty. King Thranduil's subjects were no fools.
"This madness has to stop," the Elf king repeated. "I will not tolerate any more spiders, pipeweed, Dwarves, sparkly pink . . .or green . . .or . . .whatever in my Hall again! This has to stop, Tanglinna!"
The Master Archer raised one silver brow.
"Yes, Your Majesty," he murmured softly, wondering if he should have kept quiet when Thranduil suddenly spun toward him, piercing him with the intensity of his blue gaze.
"Get the horses. You and I are going after them. Now. Meet me at the front of the palace."
Tanglinna bowed and hurried out of the Hall and toward the stables. He knew they would ride until they found them. He shook his head as he ordered two horses to be brought from the stalls.
~At least I am not involved in this latest escapade of theirs, ~ he thought grimly. ~I only hope that all this "madness" can stop! Ai, but I tire of it! ~
Thranduil had gone to change into his riding leathers, choosing ones of a rich green embroidered with golden leaves.
"Things will change," he told his scowling reflection. "Beginning today, nay, beginning now - this very moment - things will be different!" He nodded in agreement with himself as he smoothed the butter soft leather over his chest. "There will be no more Dwarves traipsing in my forest; no more spider hairs on my clothing; no more missing jewels; no more pipeweed that makes people act . . .strangely and chop off their hair; no more shrieking beasts! No more anything unless I order it!" He reached for a rather plain circlet, one not often worn, with good reason. He studied the beaten silver in his hands, his thumb running over the simple design of tightly interconnected swirls. There were no jewels or embellishments to adorn it. Legolas would most definitely recognize this headgear. "He will tremble with fear," Thranduil said with a wicked grin. His sons had learned to dread the appearance of Celeb Baudh - the Silver Judgment. It didn't appear on their father's head very often, but when it did they knew that they were doomed.
Thranduil wondered if he should have donned it earlier, before things had gotten so far out of hand. Well, he was wearing it now! Little Greenleaf would be trembling like a leaf in the wind when he caught sight of his father. He adjusted it, studying his reflection once more. He scowled even more fiercely at himself, baring his even white teeth. Yes, it would end today. He turned and strode out of the room.
Anyone who caught sight of the king that morning slipped away unnoticed, not wanting to draw his attention. His blue eyes flashed with dark purpose and Celeb Baudh glittered on his brow. Two words were whispered about the realm that day:
"Poor Legolas!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Do you believe this?" Tavor asked as they pulled open sticky little webs filled with glittering gems, necklaces, bracelets, rings, and other sparkly things. "Those silly spiders. Why do they have to put these webs on everything?"
The full moon shone above, setting the gems on fire with its light
"Because they are spiders," Brethil answered with a shrug, wiping his slender fingers on his leggings. "It is what they do, Tavor."
Tavor glared over at him in exasperation.
"I *know* that, Brethil. It wasn't necessary for you to answer that. It was a rhetorical question. Why can't you just shut up! Honestly, at times I think you are incapable of it. All I did was comment on these silly webs and you have to say, "Because they are spiders. It is what they do, Tavor." Really, sometimes I think you must talk in your sleep. Does your mouth ever rest? I don't think that it does. I think - "
Legolas and Brethil glanced at one another then smiled and looked at Tavor.
"Shut up, Tavor," they said loudly to get his attention as he rattled on and on about Brethil's rattling on and on.
He turned to stare at them.
"What? Why did you tell *me* to shut up? I am not the one that won't be quiet when I should be. That is clearly Brethil. I think -"
"You sounded like me," Brethil giggled, covering his mouth with his hand. "Your mouth isrunning on and on and on."
Tavor glared at them, grey eyes full of indignation. Then he realized that he had indeed been babbling as badly as Brethil. He grimaced, pulling a necklace from the webs.
"I have spent entirely too much time with the two of you. Look at me. Is this how I should be spending the day? I knew we should never have tried to tame a spider. How ridiculous -"
"You're doing it again, Tavor!" Brethil gasped, laughing.
"I am not. I am merely stating that the two of you have been a rather bad influence on me. You always have been. I would never have gotten myself into this sort of mess with anyone else."
"Shut up, Tavor!" Legolas and Brethil laughed as they glanced from their friend to one another.
"At least he isn't talking about the Halls of Mandos," Brethil commented quietly as Tavor continued his list of all the things that they had gotten themselves into since their very first prank when Brethil was a mere toddler.
"Not yet, at any rate." Legolas had taken off his outer leather tunic and they were piling the gems and jewelry into to it so they might transport them back to Gladaran Thamas. "I suspect he will get to that in a moment."
Tavor continued to voice all his complaints about what had happened since they had seen the Dwarves stealing their boat here at Morn Nen. Legolas and Brethil ignored him letting him air his supposed grievances against them, his best friends since earliest childhood.
"And you Legolas, singing to the Dwarves! Prince of the Singing Orcs! That is what they called you."
"We all sang, Tavor. They call us Singing Orcs. Don't you remember?" Legolas grinned. "Or perhaps you really did fall into Morn Nen!"
Tavor sneered at him, continuing to pluck things from the webs and toss them into the tunic on the ground.
"Prince of the Singing Orcs!" Brethil added. "You called Legolas that! Not the Dwarves."
"I don't think we sounded like Orcs. Did you, Brethil?" Legolas asked with a grin, wiping his sticky fingers on his slightly iridescent pale blue inner tunic.
"No. I thought we sounded very nice myself. What do Dwarves know?" he added with a sly grin.
Legolas narrowed his eyes in warning and Brethil laughed merrily. The younger elf stretched, throwing the last jewel onto the pile.
"May we go home now?" Tavor asked staring at his fingers in disgust. "I should have gone with Gwibess and left the two of you to contend with this."
"Then you would have faced the King's wrath alone." Brethil said with a sigh.
"Oh, no. We aren't going to think of that now. By the time we get back home we will have come up with some way to lessen our punishment . . .whatever it may be." Legolas frowned slightly and then shook his head. Then suddenly he grinned at Brethil and Tavor and began to sing. It was the slightly eerie song the three had made up to sing to the Dwarves.
Brethil grinned widely and joined him, moving to drape his arm about the prince's shoulder. They sang louder and advanced on Tavor who was staring at them in dismayed disbelief. They grabbed him up in their embrace until he was laughing and singing with them. Everything would be fine now. The spiders were out of the palace; they had the jewels back, and they were clever enough to find a way out of this trouble. Yes, everything would be fine now.
~*~*~*~*~*
"Do you hear that?"
"Yes! She is near!"
"She is not alone! There is more than one!"
"Hurry! Don't let them escape us!"
The six Orcs trotted hurriedly through the trees. They had been searching the area around Morn Nen ever since they had first heard the enchanting voice that had frightened their prey away, for they had never heard anything so beautiful, its siren call enflaming their hearts. Now at last their long vigilance would be rewarded.
Garluk the leader jogged ahead of the others, a grin on his swarthy features. There would be a fight as well this night, to see who would claim the Singing Princess and her maidens as his own. His hand tightened on his weapon, his heart swelling. He had no doubt that he would be the victor. He flexed his muscles, looking back at his punier companions.
The other five felt the same way, each confident that at the night's end they would be with the Princess and her companions. Each Orc smiled into the darkness, flexing muscles and stroking weapon handles as they ran on swift, eager feet toward the voices.
~*~*~*~*~*~*
The Tricksy Trio had collapsed onto the ground in a fit of laughter near the jewel filled tunic. They lay on their backs staring up at the glory of Elbereth's stars enjoying this outing for the first time since they had fled the palace with such an ignominious exit.
"It has been a most strange time," Tavor commented with a laugh. "One I don't think I would care to repeat."
"Nay. But it will all be over soon," Legolas said, rolling onto his side and looking at the pile sparkling beside them. "This should help to lessen the blow my father will strike at us when we return." He reached over and plucked up a circlet studded with diamonds. He sat up and placed it on his head. Grinning he stood and bowed comically at them. "I guess I can see why the spiders had such fun with them."
Tavor and Brethil laughed and each chose gaudy collars of silver studded with fat pale gems and flashing emeralds.
"Let us adorn you, O Prince of Singing Orcs."
They stood adorning Legolas and themselves with bracelets and necklaces. As Tavor and Legolas laughingly compared their jewelry, Brethil bent to pick up a large ring set with a sapphire. As he straightened he noticed that they were not alone.
"Uh, Legolas. Tavor," he began quietly, his grey eyes widening. "Legolas! Tavor!"
"What is it, Brethil?" Tavor asked, turning from admiring his prince to look at the other Elf.
"Orcs!"
"What? What are you talking about? We don't look like Orcs," Tavor joked. "We just sound like Orcs when we sing."
Legolas chuckled in delight and turned to see Brethil staring with such a stricken look that it alarmed the prince. His face fell in dismay.
"Tavor," he hissed. "There *are* Orcs!"
"Oh, no. Don't start that again. I am tired of being teased. Really, you two, I don't think it is -" He turned then and saw what the others did. "Ai, Valar. They *are* Orcs!"
TBC
Response to Reviewers
There is a great story started out there by the name of "Dance for Life " by Noone. You should go check it out. It is going to be quite an action adventure story starring Legolas, Gimli, and - get this (squirms happily) Glorfindel! You have to love that!
The Sadistic Cow - Oh, dear! Why did you give me another plot bunny??!! I really thought I could just wrap this up nice and tight, now I may have to rethink again! I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you!! I didn't think I wanted Legolas captured by Orcs again. You know, been there done that! But GRRRRRR! Now I have to think some more! Thank you so much, Sadistic Cow!! It could be very funny though, couldn't it!! Thanks for reading my old stuff, though I did warn you!
alliwantisanelfforchristmas - Thank you for the brainstorm session, and as you can see the Sadistic Cow has thrown me another plot bunny! Will the madness never end!!??!! I am beginning to feel like Thranduil! Such fun if I don't go mad first! I guess writer's block has been blown away! I am sure Bombur will fit in the barrel, he has to . Someday they will actually leave. I think! Singing Princess better beware! I may have to be mean to her.uh.him again!
Angaloth - Everyone is in love with Legolas! I am, you are, they are. Yep. Everyone!
Karina - I promise that no spiders will be hurt in this fiction. Only the ones Bilbo killed. Gwibess will be fine. Strange isn't it. I don't want them hurt either. Uh, oh. I guess you and I had better check into your Mental Health Clinic for the Elvishly Insane! Um, let's not go into the joke on Tavor. I didn't know it either! (grimace) Wake- up call for Balin not yet for Gloin, he is sleeping in. For quite a while yet actually! (wink wink) I think that Gwibess would look quite lovely with braids! Don't fret your muse. He will return with lots of plot bunnies I hope!
Lakergurl13 - Gwibess went to her nest, which is not in that palace, thank Eru! Yes, I think Eru will need to help them out of this one. That is if he is not having too much fun watching their antics like we are! They are definitely not prepared. I hope that Bombur makes something interesting for the feast. We shall see! As for selling Legolas' hair, Thran does like his treasure, so who knows! The whole Egla Ash thing took place about 29 - 30 years before the Fellowship formed, so it would be approximately 77 years or so after Bilbo's adventures. Not for a while yet. Tell Charlie I think he is right. He wouldn't make a very good Orc princess. I just hope the Orcs think that, too!
Puterpatty - My goodness. Can't you tell that I planned the whole Tavor joke from the beginning?? Uh, well, no, actually I didn't. It just wrote itself in that last chapter with no prior warning. I am so unorganized! Brethil is a good follower indeed! Legolas didn't complain about "you know what" at all. I think he rather enjoyed it!!
queenie - Be apprehensive. Be very apprehensive! Buhahahahahahhahahahahaha! Sorry. Got carried away there. I think I have a couple screws loose right about now.
Lady M - They might be in much trouble! Poor dears! Morn Nen is still waiting in the wings, never fear! It has a role yet to play!
annakas - As it nears the end here, I have to get in a few cliffhangers! I love them! If nothing happened to the trio there would be no story, so I am throwing everything that I can at them. Don't you love it!?!?
Mitheithel - I am sure you sing much better than an Orc! Though I don't think that I do!
JastaElf - yes, Orcs love him, too! I wasn't going to write any Orcs in this one, but they showed up any way! I hope Thrandy the kitten is doing well. Thranduil in this story is very, very annoyed and going to put an end to it soon! There has to be a feast to celebrate the end of this madness, doesn't there?? We do all like to torture the Elf, don't we! Poor Legolas! (copyright TreeHugger)
Ithilien - I wonder what Bombur will fix for the feast! I haven't a clue yet! I think this will be the last one in this story. I need a celebration to finish this thing out! I couldn't help but think of your Spring Festival with Gimli joining in! LOL I think you must be right about Dwarf women! Hmmm. Another plot bunny! Oh, no! As to your questions they will all be answered in the Council of Elrond follow-up to this story! I do know those answers, believe it or not!
Anonymous - Bombur is my kind of guy, too. Who wants to traipse into danger when you can live safely with plenty of food about! Balin does know the truth for certain, but Gloin will have to wait! I don't think they will be giving up Gwibess just yet. I like her too much to lose her. I doubt that Thranduil would ever run out of ways to humiliate them. Legolas has had quite an adventure in this story and must be exhausted. I am sure he will be quite relieved when it is all said and done. Uh, oh. Sounds like you did indeed have a case of Brethilitis. Over Boromir's death scene no less! I am impressed! Hope you have recovered sufficiently. Remember: breathe in, breathe out! There should be some sound sites out there for Elvish. That would be very cool! It is my pleasure to read your reviews! Believe me!
Nancing Elf - They surely didn't learn anything at Elf Scouts of ME, did they! They are not prepared! It was a wicked joke on Tavor, but he needs to lighten up a little! He needs to laugh at himself some times! Yes, we are all in love with him, aren't we? We can't seem to help ourselves! How do I do it, juggling 3 stories?? Well, the only thing that comes to mind is the song by Queen: "I 'm Going Slightly Mad"!
amlugwen - I will try not to make you wait as long as I did. The plot bunnies are flying all around my living room at present, never fear! I nearly died laughing when you told me that your friend wanted to know the name of the woman with the bow in LOTR! Oh, no! Did she really say that??!! LOL
Rings of the cosmos - Cave crickets freak me out more than any other insect or arachnid in the world! I feel very foolish for shrieking and jumping away from them, but I can't help it! You poor thing! I am sorry that school has started already for you! 6:10 in the am is very early!
elhwesta - This is definitely an AU, much more so than I envision or even started. I hope Tolkien would appreciate it, but I don't know. I am a wicked author! Whoa! You sounded like Gollum there for a moment! Ssssscary, my preciousssss!! I thought the Wild Berry War was quite cute myself!
Lk - I am glad that you like this so much! It makes my day to hear it! Thranduil is about to get things in hand, I think anyway. So many plot bunnies want to be used I don't know what will happen exactly! Hopefully it will be fun all the way to the end!
Noone - Sounds like you should have sent me that plot bunny earlier! You had it all worked out! I don't mind repetitious reviewers! I like them! Big Bad Aran, huh? Cool!!! I could do that!! I can be rather loud! Thank you for reading my old ones! But I know I warned you how wicked I was! (
Opal Elf - No, that wasn't the end of the story. It keeps getting farther and farther away! I don't know why, but it does! I am glad you are enjoying this little romp through Mirkwood. My poor dear, didn't I warn you not to read a certain other fic that I wrote? Thank you for reading them and I am sorry I made you cry! :(
Moonstone Tears - Love it when you laugh! Your description was just fine!
une chat noire - It does tell why the Dwarves escaped so easily, doesn't it!! Makes perfect sense now! I don't mind your ramblings. Ramble on! I love the word hilarious! Thank you!
Katharine the Great - Nope, no Mary Sues here! Can't write them for some reason! But you know saying that Legolas would DIE when he finds out about the Singing Orc Princess thing is a bit disconcerting coming from you, O Great Evil One! Blackest Evil from Morgoth's shriveled little heart????!!!! Oh, no! Please be nice!!! Too late! You weren't nice at all!!!! (TreeHugger buries her face in her hands and moans!)
Sake - Poor Legolas! (copyright TreeHugger) He doesn't have a very easy time in this one does he!!