MIB fan fiction is hard to write, sometimes. This story took a lot of creativity and research to do. Please don't plagiarize or sue me, I own some characters and the story itself. All other characters belong to either Delia, Chanda, or Jen or to MIB: The Animated Series. Enjoy the story.

The Loch Ness Syndrome (Subtitle: Zed's Fishing Trip)

Part 1: Nessie Gets Bad Publicity

A cool breeze swept across the sweltering streets of New York City. It was muggy and packed and everyone was especially grouchy as the red rose on the thermometers.

Things were no better inside MIB HQ where Kay and Jay made their way up to Zed's office for yet another mission briefing. "Wonder what the Z-Man has for us today?" Jay asked Kay as they reached the door to their boss's office.

"Not sure Slick, just be ready for anything." Kay replied in his typical emotionless manner.

When they stepped into the office they noticed that R and Delia were already there. It must have been a pretty big case if two sets of agents were required.

"Any of you know who or what this is?" Zed asked holding up a hot sheet with a terribly blurry picture on the front of something resembling a log poking up out of the water.

Kay examined the picture closely while the other agents squinted their eyes and tilted their heads, finally giving up and shrugging. "Flippy." Kay stated.

"Right." Zed smiled proudly.

"Who's Flippy?" Delia snickered. "Flippy the floating stick." she mused to herself. R cracked up a little.

"Flippy, or as he's more commonly known 'The Loch Ness Monster', is an alien refugee from the Phalieferatoid Galaxy." Zed responded while flipping to the article a few pages into the tabloid.

"You mean, The Loch Ness Monster really exist?" Jay questioned.

"Yep," Kay replied.

"Ha!" Jay scoffed, "What is he, Bigfoot's cousin?"

"That's a whole other solar system." Kay answered. "Flippy is a Phelsaur that wondered into our galaxy about a way back in the sixth century in search of a safe place to hide from the government leaders of his home world. Things were hectic back there once he first came to Earth, and in 1933, the first recorded sighting was made and it got the poor guy a lot of unwanted press. The MIB learned that he had taken up residence in a loch in Scotland a few years after it began. That's when we sent our own team of specialists out in search of this alien who was previously thought to be some mythical monster."

"Did you find him?" Delia inquired, becoming interested in all the monster sighting talk.

"Yes and no." Zed explained, "We made sightings, even got in so close we could communicate with the guy and find out his story. But we never got close enough to see him, all of him. He's not the most sociable alien on the planet and he values his privacy quite highly. Our specialists couldn't get near him without him darting off into some cave or disappearing into the depths of all that murky water. After a while he stopped communicating with us long range too."

"So you just didn't gave up talking to him?" R asked.

"Didn't see a need to harass the poor fellow." Zed replied, "He didn't seem to be bothering anybody…until now."

The agents exchanged looks. 'Here it comes…' Delia thought.

"Agents, I've got a little mission for you."

"Oohhh grreeeaaattt…" Delia and R moaned.

Zed cocked an eyebrow. "Guess I can't blame you two for not wanting to get your feet wet, not after that case we had a few weeks ago."

"It was getting them BIT OFF that worried us." Delia muttered.

"It's nothing big---more of a vacation." Zed continued.

R and Delia perked up. "You mean we get to lounge around in a resort and surf all day?"

"Not exactly." Zed chuckled, "This vacation is to Scotland, to check up on Flippy and see what's cause him to acted so-"

Delia glanced down at the title of the article on the page Zed had turned to, 'Loch Ness Monster Attacks Tourists In Broad Daylight', "-bazerk?"

"That's not exactly the word I was looking for, Agent Delia," Zed grinned, his smile fading as he read further down into the article and saw the list of injured tourists, "but in this case, I think it gets the point across."

"So this mission, how is it going to be more like a vacation?" Jay said quizzically.

"Well, there'll be scuba diving, boat tours, walks along the loch, a hotel with free room service, not to mention you'll be out of this hot city for at least a week, oh and let's not forget the most important element of a vacation…"

Zed paused and reached for something that was tucked away under his desk.

"What's that?" Jay, R, and Delia asked in unison.

"…fishing." Zed answered, popping back up with a fishing hat on, a tackle box in one hand, and a fishing pole in the other.

The three agents slapped hands to their faces.

Kay chuckled, "Glad to see you're coming too."

"Even the head of MIB needs to get out sometime." Zed grinned. He pressed a few buttons on his communications screen and Agent U's face appeared, "Agent U, I need you and W to come to my office pronto."

"YES SIR!" Agent U yelped, he hadn't meant to respond so loudly but one of the extraterrestrial children had just dropped a large can of paint on his foot.

Agent U looked down at the pink little girl who stared at him innocently, "Heavy." she replied in a cute high pitched voice.

"No kidding." U hopped up and down.

In the background Agent W could be heard talking to the children, "Okay class, now let's get creative! Paint anything you want. Uh-oh! I meant paint anything you want for a subject. Not paint anything you want to use as a medium! U! Look out!!!"

A multitude of tiny footsteps was heard rumbling up to U who dropped his communicator and screamed, toppling over on it, the connection was broken (along with the device).

A few minutes later Agent U came stumbling up to Zed's office, a little alien kid covered in paint clinging to each leg. W came in behind him, laughing at the messy agent and carrying a toddler with one arm while holding the hand of another.

"What happened to you?" Zed asked, trying not to crack up.

"Agent W thought it would be a good idea to give these little 'artistic geniuses' a bucket of paint each and let them go at it." U scoffed, glaring at his partner.

"Meanwhile," she countered, "we now have a lovely mural of adorable little handprints, smiley faces, sunshines, and flowers up on our wall."

"And I've got a broken toe to show for it!" U shouted, pointing to his hurt foot where a little alien sat smiling up at him.

R and Delia snickered while Jay took the opportunity to mock the sour agent. "Awww, did U get a boo-boo?"

"Agent Jay!" U said through clinched teeth, "If you only knew how stressful my job really was you'd keep comments like that to yourself!"

Jay just shrugged. Zed spoke up though, "Well then you'll be happy to know that Agent W will be handling the teaching of the young alien children on her own for a week."

"Really?" U threw a mocking glance at W who merely stuck out her tongue. The alien kids saw her doing this and mimicked her. "So what job will I take over for the week Sir?"

"Mine." Zed replied.

U's eyes bulged and his jaw dropped, (not to mention the look of shock on everyone else's face, even Kay looked a bit taken aback), "Y-y-your job Sir?! But I couldn't-"

"You're qualified enough, there's not an agent here besides Kay that knows the rulebook inside and out the way you do. And Kay's coming on the mission with me and these other agents. You should be able to handle being the head of MIB for a week." Zed replied calmly, hoping he wasn't making a big mistake.

"I'm honored Sir," U smiled, forcing a lump down his throat, "You won't be disappointed."

"Let's hope so." Zed nodded, "Now get back downstairs and clean up whatever mess those little scamps have made while you were gone. Your new assignments start first thing tomorrow morning."

"Yes Sir," W and U replied.

"I hope you know what you're doing Z-Man." Jay sighed, when the door closed behind U, "He's not exactly the most popular guy around here."

"I know," Zed admitted, "but everyone else is off handling a case. This is mostly a desk job anyways, how much trouble could he get into?"

R thought for a moment, "Well…he could-"

"THAT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION R!" Delia snapped before he could go off into a drawn out list of things that U could do to screw up the MIB while they were gone.

"Let's get this trip over with." Zed groaned, "I'm starting to like this vacation less and less already and we haven't even left yet."

"Right," Kay agreed, "pack your gear everyone. We've gotta be out of here by dawn."

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