The Loch Ness Syndrome: Zed's Fishing Trip

Part 9: A Splash and a Half!

Back at HQ things were literally falling apart! The Worms had snuck away with most of Zed's private coffee supply and ten cans of coffee grounds from storage. Agent W had given all the extraterrestrial children headphones and they were now happily grooving to some human tunes, while trashing the learning center. W wouldn't know this last part though because nearly all the agents around HQ were swarming her, demanding that she talk to U about the horrific job he was doing of trying to run the MIB.

"He's your partner!" G shouted.

"Yeah, I know but-"

"But nothing!" M groaned, "Do you have any idea how many unhappy alien visitors we've got down in customs because their return flights home have gotten mixed up?!"

"Well what do want me to do about it?"

All together the agents around her snapped, "TALK TO HIM!"

******

Agent U was furiously working to keep the organization from falling apart. Nothing was going his way. This was a nightmare! He just prayed that he would wake up soon.

Just as he was about to lay his head down on the desk and weep uncontrollably there was a soft knock on his door. Agent U gasped and sat upright, "Come in."

Agent W slowly made her way inside, she did NOT want to be the one to tell him this.

U was ecstatic---finally someone who wouldn't chew him out!

"Uh U," W began gently, "we need to talk."

"Sure." U beamed, "Sit down. Take a load off."

"Okay," W was a bit startled by the tone he was using. "Um, are you okay?"

"I'm fine." U assured her, not really believing himself, "And you?"

"Uh---I've been talking to the other agents," W stated, cringing a bit at the sigh that escaped U's lips, "and they feel that you're not um---applying yourself enough."

"Look," U started defensively, "I'm doing the best I can here. Everyone's just gonna have to back off. This isn't as easy as Zed makes it look you know!"

"No need to bite my head off U. I'm not the one complaining, they sent me in here because I'm your partner."

U glanced sideways at her for a moment, "So you don't think I'm doing a bad job?"

W chose her words carefully, "I don't think you're doing a terrible job, not really. Maybe you just need to relax a little more. Have people work out their own problems."

"Like they'll do that."

"Well, if they don't. Then it's on them. They're supposed to be the best of the best. They should know what they're doing and be able to handle their work without pestering you every five minutes." W hoped this little pep talk was working.

U seemed to perk back up some. "Thanks partner."

"No problem." she smiled. She was about to walk out when she got another fun idea. Walking back over to U she hopped up onto his (Zed's) desk. "You know, you do look pretty hot sitting up here overseeing everything…"

"Really?" U was NOT used to getting compliments from a girl.

"Yeah," W got a kick out of teasing Mr. Bossy like this, "I wouldn't be surprised if you became 'Mr. MIB' someday."

U cocked an eyebrow, but not nearly as well as Zed, "Alright---what did you break?"

"I didn't break a thing." W looked hurt, inside she was laughing.

"Oh no!" U gasped, "You've blown something up!"

"Oh U," W smirked, "you worry way too much."

U cringed as she ruffled his regulation-cut hairstyle. "Just give it to me straight, how bad's the damage?"

"I'm happy to report that there was only ONE causality." W saluted. U gulped.

W was loving this, "Oxy the Oxyanobis Centipede."

"WHAT?!" U should've seen this coming, W HATED that costume, "Agent W, that's MIB property!"

W pulled out a scrap of dull pink material, "Well---it's junk now."

"AGENT W!"

"Gotta go partner!" W cracked up and darted out of the room before U could snag her.

Slumping back down against the door U groaned, "Just a few more days and I can wake up from this nightmare!"

******

"Aw man," Jay muttered, "this is a nightmare!"

"Took the words right out of my mouth Slick." Kay agreed, backing away from a very ticked alien sea monster.

"Agent Kay," Flint smirked wickedly, "so nice to see you again."

Lenny yanked off what remained of his human disguise, "Remember us?"

"Flint Quintop and Lenny McFentz," Kay grimaced.

"You know them?" Jay asked.

"Never forget a face," Kay replied, "especially one as grotesque as that."

Lenny scowled at the agent, "You aren't in the position to be rude Kay. Unless you'd like to bid your boss man here bye-bye."

Lenny aimed his ray gun at Zed, "You're not planning to let any of us live anyways." Kay stated.

"Aw Kay," Flint sneered, "don't spoil the surprise for the kiddies here."

Delia took particular offense to this. "Hey! At least I don't look like a wad of gum." she snapped, it was true, these odd creatures had very 'mushy' complexions.

R turned to Kay, gesturing towards Yazmine. "What do we do? Fight our own side?"

"Dude," Jay gasped as Yazmine advanced on him, "I can't fight the Doc!"

"You don't have much of a choice JUNIOR," Flint laughed.

"Man I am so sick of being called that!" Jay clenched his teeth, "The ugly pink dude's mine!"

"Have it your way," Kay nodded and they both moved to charge the two aliens.

Lenny was ready to fire, but Kay whipped out his blaster and in a split second later, the alien was disarmed.

Flint was tackled by Jay and they rolled around on the floor, fighting for control of the mind control device.

"What are you waiting for?!" Flint shouted to Yazmine and Flippy, "Destroy these pests!"

"Looks like we get stuck with these two," Delia gulped.

"I'll distract Flippy here," R whispered, "you get past Yazmine and untie Zed."

"Since when did you become leader of this partnership?" Delia grumbled.

"ROAR!"

"On second thought, good luck partner!"

R shook his head as she darted off, 'Okay R,' he thought to himself, 'now what?!'

Zed was straining against the ropes, trying to free himself.

Delia hustled over and reached out to grab the knots. "Not so fast," Yazmine landed between them, "I've got orders to end your existence."

"Uh---couldn't those wait like five minutes?" Delia grinned.

Yazmine's glare told her they couldn't. "Oh man," Delia groaned.

Zed wasn't paying much attention to the agents, somehow Zeeltor had managed to disappear. 'Where was he?'

Zeeltor had ducked behind one of the stone formations during the squabble between the aliens and agents. He was now fishing through his lab coat for a little something he'd been sure to pack…just in case.

Yazmine's wings sliced around Delia, tearing her suit and taking about an inch off a strand of her hair, "Hey! Do you know how long it took me to style that?!?"

"Agent Delia!" a cheerful voice called.

"Zeeltor?" Delia rolled out of the way as another green wing struck the ground, "Where've you been?!"

"Why, looking for this," Zeeltor held up the small triangular chip that gave the agent telepathic and telekinetic powers.

'I'm saved!' Delia thought, then it occurred to her. How was she supposed to get that chip with Yazmine ready to slice and dice her??

"You're gonna have to distract her." she called to Zeeltor.

"Alrighty." Zeeltor nodded. He pulled a small iron pellet out of his lab coat. "Stand back Agent."

"Whoa!" Delia leapt out of the way as the pellet was throw in the middle of the two MIBs and exploded upon impact with the cave's floor.

Yazmine was knocked off balance by the explosion, temporarily blinded by the smoke. "Now would be a good time to put this on." Zeeltor instructed Delia, handing her the chip.

"Oh yeah," she placed it on her forehead and concentrated hard as the dazed hybrid emerge from the smoke.

"You'll both pay for that." she sneered.

"Will you take a check?" Delia asked in a mocking tone.

Yazmine felt herself lifted up in the air with her wings pinned to her back.

Zeeltor hastily rushed over to Zed and used his particle beam pen to cut him loose. After removing the cloth from his mouth Zed drew his sidearm, "Alright Flint, party's over."

Jay and Flint we're still wrestling on the ground, Flint had the upper hand at the moment, banging Jay's head against the cave's stone floor.

"MIB agent---HA! You're just another rookie that'll never last." Flint jeered.

"He's an MIB, and he knows we've got his back." Zed called from behind them, Flint looked up and barely had time to utter a surprised sound before he was blasted off of the agent.

"Thanks Z-Man." Jay smiled, "Course, I had him right where I wanted him."

"Sure ya did son."

"I don't mean to be a bother," a panting voice yelled, "but I'm an MIB too---and I could use a little help here!"

Zed and Jay turned to see a panicking Agent R clinging desperately to Flippy's neck. "Get me down from here!"

"Hold on R!" Zed shouted, "Jay, go help Kay."

Jay nodded and took off while Zed aimed his weapon at Flippy and fired. He was careful not to do the poor brainwashed creature any severe damage.

With a painful roar Flippy tossed the terrified agent to the floor. "You okay there Agent R?"

A deep groan answered him.

"Shake it off son." They weren't out of trouble yet. Flippy looked enraged from the blasts. "This wasn't exactly the whopper I'd planned to tangle with." Zed muttered.

"Mommy?" R asked dazed, "Is that you?"

Zed rolled his eyes, "Take five R, at least until the room stops spinning."

Delia would've laughed at all this, had she not been desperately trying to detain a struggling Dr. Yazmine, "I don't think I can hold her much longer." she grunted to Zeeltor, she was getting one of those splitting headaches that Zed always blamed her for causing him.

"Oh dear," Zeeltor mumbled, "we really need that mind control device to reverse this."

"Then get it! QUICK!" Delia yelped, this was really putting a strain on her brain.

Kay gave Lenny a final blow to the face that knocked him unconscious. "Don't worry about me kid," he called to Jay when he stopped to help him up, "Go get that device."

Jay noticed the device lying not far from where he'd tackled Flint. "Roger that partner!"

Flint moaned and rubbed his injured shoulder, those blasted agents weren't going to get the best of him this time. He looked up and saw Jay make a dive for something in front of him, noticing what it was Flint dove after it too. They both collided just before snatching the device, "OW!!"

"Give it up Flint! The MIB has you out numbered and out smarted!" Jay taunted.

"Don't you humans ever SHUT UP?!" Flint spat.

It was another tug-of-war between the two over the mind control device. Neither willing to back down. Finally Flint jerked it away. "Ha! What a miserable excuse for an agent."

"Guess again park bench décor!" Jay pulled out his Noisy Cricket and blasted the alien.

To Jay's surprise his face shot right off. "Gross---dude lost his head!"

"Why you little…I oughtta…"

Jay dropped his jaw when the alien's head started to grow back, "Oh great, don't tell me-"

"Yep," Kay cut in after tying up Lenny, "these two are from Jeeb's neck of the woods."

"Aw perfect!" Jay whined, then he spotted the device, "I got it!"

"I'm losing it!" Delia cried.

"I'm gonna enjoy annihilating every last one of you," Flint began, his head restored, "but this kid's goin' first!"

Before Flint could make good on his threat Kay drew his Turbo97 Grappler, "Wouldn't get my hopes up."

Pulling the trigger he sent Flint crashing to the floor, bound from gummy head to toe. Jay smirked down at the alien lying at his feet. "Guess this makes me a gum shoe? HAHAHA! Get it? Gum shoe?"

Kay didn't even crack a smile, "Let's reverse the brainwashing before Delia has a mental breakdown."

"Sure thing," Jay glanced down at the contraption, it was covered with at least twenty different little switches and knobs, and half as mean flashing lights. "Uh…I think I'll let Zeeltor do the honors."

Zeeltor took the device and looked it over, "Ah, this is really quite simple engineering."

Aiming the device at Yazmine---just as Delia lost control and dropped her---Zeeltor powered it up and reversed the effects. An infuriated Yazmine suddenly transformed into a light hearted scientist again. "Wh-what happened?" she noticed Agent Delia's ripped suit, "Oh my goodness, did I do that dear?"

Delia glanced down at her shambled uniform, "More or less." she grinned. "No biggie, I go through ten of these a week anyways."

"And now for our gargantuan friend." Zeeltor chuckled, turning and aiming the device at Flippy.

"Alright, another case in the bag!" Jay slapped Zeeltor on the back, accidentally causing him to drop the machinery.

The metallic box fell to the stone floor and shattered. Delia and Jay looked at each other and winced, "Uh-oh."

"Without the device Flippy won't be able to fight off Flint's commands for hours!" Yazmine gasped.

"Oops." Jay shrugged nervously.

"What's taking so long?!" Zed demanded, Flippy was ready to crush the head of MIB with one of his enormous fins.

"Uh, we seem to be experiencing some technical difficulties." Zeeltor replied.

"What?!" R knocked Zed out of the way before Flippy's fin came down.

The cave trembled under the impact, "If he keeps this up this whole place will fall down on top of us!" Yazmine warned.

"So how do we beat this dude?" Jay inquired.

"You can't blame him," Yazmine reminded them, "he's under Flint's control. And with Flint out cold, he'll follow his last orders."

"To destroy us." Kay said, Yazmine nodded. "Question is, how do we take Flippy down, without doing him too much harm?"

"I have an idea!" Delia spoke up. "Jay, fork over the Noisy Cricket."

"WHAT?! Do you know what kind of throw back that thing has?" he asked her.

"Do you realize that we're all MIB pancakes if you don't hurry and hand me that thing?!" Delia snapped. Hesitantly Jay handed her his weapon.

Taking aim at the stalactites just above the large alien's head she fired. "AAHHH!!!!" Thrown back by the force of the blast she smacked into Zeeltor and sent them both colliding against a cave wall.

Flippy lunged forward to take a bite out of Zed and R but was knocked unconscious by the barrage of stone that rained down. "Hey, nice shot!" Jay complimented.

"Did I get him?" Delia moaned, sitting upright over Zeeltor's back.

"I think this is what Agent Jay was trying to warn you about." he muttered in a cheerful tone, yet wincing from pain.

Zed and R sighed with relief and walked over to where the other agents were standing. Offering Delia a hand up he proudly commended her, "Good work Agent."

Rubbing her back Delia smiled, "Thanks. Uh Jay," she held out the Cricket as if it might go off at any time, "it's ALL YOURS. I'll stick with my icer."

"Are you sure that Flippy's gonna be back to himself after his nap is finished?" Kay asked Yazmine.

"Yes, it only last a few hours." she smiled, "But it takes quite a hold of you."

"I'll say," Delia muttered, playing with her shortened strand of hair. Seeing a chance to get back at Zeeltor for the whole icer thing she added, "And Zeeltor here looked ready to cry a river when we thought you'd drowned."

Zeeltor blushed, "Uh Agent Delia---perhaps Dr Yazmine doesn't want to be bothered with that right now?"

"Oh that's alright Doctor," she winked at Delia, "I find you're concern to be very touching."

"And Mr. Cheerful was moping around and everything," Delia continued, to Zeeltor's discomfort, "we were really worried about him. You'd think he'd lost his best friend, or worse! His-"

"AGENT DELIA PLEASE!" Zeeltor begged.

"Oh alright," Delia complied, but skipped away humming something that sounded a lot like 'Zeeltor and Yazmine…sittin' in a tree…'

Jay stopped laughing long enough to ask Zed, "So what's the plan now Z-Man?"

"Now we wait for Flippy to get his nap out and make sure that he's back to normal." Zed instructed. "When that's over, we can all go home. After all this---I'm gonna need a vacation from my vacation."

"I here Venus is nice this time of year," Kay stated, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

"I prefer my nice enclosed office and leather chair." Zed chuckled, "At least the paperwork won't yank me overboard."

"AGENT DELIA! I'M BEGGING YOU-----PLEASE STOP HUMMING!" Zeeltor pleaded.

"Of course there's always the risk of the staff driving me overboard." Zed sighed.

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