Disclaimer: Still working on the lottery…. Until then, HA! Belongs to Craig and Nick and Viacom….
Ack… Family!
By: ChickenGoddess
The Dream
It was dark… so dark, he could make out nothing around him. For all he knew it could be a huge black void, an empty space of nothingness. He walked straight ahead, or what looked like straight ahead to him. He looked around as he walked, hoping to find a sign of life anywhere.
"Oof!" He emitted the startled sound as he fell to the ground… he had walked into something.
"Watch where you're going, Football Head!" The voice that could only belong to Helga Pataki said.
He looked up and sure enough, he saw her sitting on the ground opposite him. "I'm sorry, Helga. Do you know where we are?"
She looked at him as if he were crazy. "I practically live here!" She replied.
He watched her expression change as she gasped lightly.
In a much softer, warmer voice she said, "You've never been here… have you?"
"If I knew where this was I could answer."
"I can't tell you that, Arnold."
"Why not? We can get out of here, together."
She was almost crying. "No Arnold. We can't. You have to find your way."
"What do you mean? Where are we? What's wrong?"
"I… I…" She began, but was interrupted by a flash of lightning and the monstrous boom of thunder.
He looked up to see what had happened, but saw nothing, which was precisely what he saw when he looked back at where Helga had been standing.
"Helga!" He called. "Helga! Where are you?!"
"…She's not here." A voice similar to hers, but much softer and more mellow explained.
He whirled around and before him stood Hilda, Arnie's secret admirer.
"Hilda? I thought you were a dream!"
"…I am… sort of."
"What do you mean? You're either real or not." Arnold explained.
"In a physical sense, no." She answered.
"That helps a lot." Arnold replied sarcastically.
"I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault. Where are we?"
"I can't tell you."
"Why not? You know and Helga knows, so why can't I?"
"She stumbled through this place just as you are. You'll have to find that out yourself." And with that she turned and walked away.
"Why does everyone keep saying that?" he asked the oblivion.
"Hey Arnold, Hey Arnold, Hey Arnold-" His alarm clock greeted until he pulled the blue and red wires connecting it to the potato.
While he dressed, he contemplated his dream and decided that eating Grandma's chili before bed was a bad idea.
"What time is the little freak coming?" Grandpa asked, seeing Arnold at the table munching on is cereal.
"5:00 is what he said."
"The Ambassador will be here in a short time! We must sweep the decks, scrub the sails and polish the cannons!"
"That's great, Pookie."
"Bye Grandma! Bye Grandpa!" Arnold called as he grabbed is books and headed out to meet the bus.
As he turned the corner, something sent him backwards onto the cement sidewalk. 'I've gotta watch where I'm going…' he thought, rubbing his head.
"Arnold!"
He knew that voice… it was soft and mellow… it was Hilda's voice!
"I mean- watch where you're going, Football Head!"
He knew this voice too. This was Helga G. Pataki. "I'm sorry, Helga." He said, offering a hand, which she accepted.
They boarded the bus and Helga sat beside Phoebe and Arnold grabbed the empty space next to Gerald.
"Hey man, what's up?"
"You're not gonna like this." He said.
"It can't be that bad." Gerald replied.
"Arnie's coming to visit for a week and a half."
Gerald's eyes bulged. "It is that bad."
"I know." Arnold sighed.
"Arnie's coming to visit again?! You mean your ever so humble country cousin who looks like you only much more attractive!" Lila exclaimed.
"She doesn't mean Arnie… does she?" Sid asked.
Arnold sighed. "Yeah."
"Have you forgotten how things get whenever your cousin is… you know… around?" Gerald replied.
"No… but he's family, Gerald."
"Please, Arnold. The boy collects lint." Rhonda replied.
"He counts food instead of eating it!" Harold shouted..
"And there's that disgusting phlegmmy snort." Helga added.
"Face it, Arnold. Your cousin's dull as dirt." Stinky said.
Arnold sighed, exasperated. "I know. I tried, but he wouldn't listen."
"I'll be ever so delighted to see him again!" Lila said.
Everyone stared at her, disbelieving.
"That's good, Lila. You can try to get Arnie back." Arnold offered.
"Oh Arnold, you are so sweet! Just ever so sweet!" She squealed with delight.
Once things had settled down, Arnold leaned over and whispered into Gerald's ear, "I can't believe I liked her, liked her."
"Me neither, man. Me neither."
Arnold informed Mr. Simmons of Arnie's visit and that he would be joining their class for the next week and a half.
"It appears that for the next week and a half we will be having a new, very… special addition to our class. Arnold's special cousin Arnie will be sharing in our special learning." He said nervously.
"It's ok, Simmons. We all know the kid's a freak." Helga stated bluntly.
"We don't talk about people like that! Arnie's not a freak… he's just…"
"'Special'"? The class replied.
"The kid's weirder than Curley." Rhonda stated.
"Yeah! He's weirder than me!" Curley echoed in support.
"Settle down, children! Open your math books to page 57."
And the day began.